


Good Blue Hunting

by VelvetHelvetica



Category: Fallout 4
Genre: Angst, Banter, Cait (mentioned) - Freeform, Character Study, Curie (mentioned) - Freeform, F/F, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Intersectionality, Period-Typical Homophobia, Period-Typical Racism, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Romance, Romantic Comedy, Sex, Strong (mentioned), anti-Brotherhood of Steel, not a slow burn, slightly canon divergent, smut with feelings, started as a playthrough fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-21
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-02-28 04:20:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 41
Words: 123,351
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22827826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VelvetHelvetica/pseuds/VelvetHelvetica
Summary: A personal journal of Blue’s quest to find her son in the Wasteland. Written in first-person perspective by Piper Wright.
Relationships: Female Sole Survivor/Piper Wright
Comments: 101
Kudos: 217





	1. Interview with a Vault Dweller

**Author's Note:**

> Everything belongs to Bethesda. In-game quotes are borrowed liberally (especially in this chapter) but quotes and sequencing may diverge wildly in later chapters. Enjoy!

“Glad you dropped by. You holding up, Blue?”

“Why are you calling me that?”

“Cause of the blue jumpsuit you're wearing? You’re a Vault Dweller.”

Blue didn't blink as I pointed out the obvious. She regarded me impassively as we sat in the upstairs loft of my office. I was pleasantly surprised when she came in, given how unconventional our first meeting was.

…

Earlier, Blue found me locked out of Diamond City—by Danny Sullivan of all people!—because McDonough took offense to the paper's latest issue, “The Synthetic Truth.” I was too busy yelling at Danny through the intercom to notice her approaching until she was standing right behind me, with a bemused look on her face and her big German Shepherd beside her. To my relief, she played along with pretending she was a trader from Quincy, convincing Danny to open the gates.

Even if Blue wasn't wearing her suit, I would have figured her out right away. She had the typical “fish-out-of-water” look of a Vault Dweller—bewildered by the everyday horrors of her surroundings. She was average height, with light brown skin, dark eyes, and hair styled like it came straight out of a pre-War advertisement for laundry soap.

By the looks of her, she had spent some time on the Outside. She had collected a few weapons suitable for various situations: pistols, a hunting rifle, and a beat-up shotgun. Bits of crude armor, a mishmash of leather and metal invariably scavenged or collected from dead Raiders, were strapped over Blue's Vault suit. The bright blue suit made her a target, easy pickings. She was obviously adept enough to have navigated through the Fens unscathed. Through her travels, she could have grabbed a leather jacket or scavengers’ rags to blend in. Yet the Vault suit remained. Why?

…

“So here’s the deal,” I continued. “Your life story in print. I think it's time Diamond City had a little outside perspective on the Commonwealth. You do that, and...uh, I'll tell you what. I'll come with you. Watch your back while you get used to the world above ground.”

It was a gamble to voluntarily travel through the Commonwealth with this stranger. But a Vault Dweller blowing through town always meant headlines. The Vault Dwellers I'd encountered before had their reasons for being outside, none of them good. Either their Vault needed something important from the Outside, or they were forced out by radroaches, mole rats, Raiders, or worse. Every Vault had its dirty secrets, secrets locked away from before the War.

On the back of Blue’s suit, three hash marks jumped out: 111. I had never heard of Vault 111 before, and I was eager to find out its secrets.

“What kind of interview is this going to be?” The inflection in her question implied she was questioning my motives. And maybe she had good reason. People with something to hide don’t readily agree to interviews with a reporter they just met.

And yet, the thing that immediately impressed me about Blue was her unequivocal support of the press.

…

When I got back into Diamond City, Mayor McDonough was waiting for me. We started arguing right on the spot, with him calling me a ‘devious, rabble-rousing slanderer.’ Blue and her dog stood by watching, seemingly amused by the accusations we slung at each other. I was so livid over McDonough's denials that I pulled Blue into our argument.

“Why don’t we ask the newcomer? You support the news? ‘Cause the mayor’s threatening to throw free speech in the dumpster.”

She could have stayed out of it, preserved her reputation in a new place. But without batting an eyelash, she replied coolly, “Always believed in freedom of the press. It’s one of the foundations of a free society.”

McDonough and I stared at this outsider. What? Someone who had actually heard of the right to free speech, let alone supported it?! _Who was this angel?_

…

Remembering this, I decided to chance it by being upfront, then gauge Blue's reaction. “I ask who you are, get your opinion on life out there, and maybe load up a few tough questions and keep it interesting. What do you say?”

Blue carefully considered my request. After mulling it over, she replied “Alright Piper, I’m in.”

“Good. Let’s get down to business. So I know you're from a vault. How would you describe time on the inside?”

“My family and I were frozen. We didn’t spend much time in the vault.”

“Wait. They boxed you up in a fridge? The whole time? Are you saying you were alive before the War?”

“The War? Which War?”

“The one that gave us this lovely landscape of demolished buildings and nuclear radiation every ten feet? You're telling me you saw everything before they blasted it into pieces?” She couldn’t be that ignorant, could she? Unless...

“Yes. I'm over 200 years old.” Two hundred?!! I was flabbergasted. This woman did not look two hundred. Maybe late twenties, early thirties tops. Not like someone old enough to be my great great great grandma.

“Oh my god. ‘The Woman Out of Time.’” As unbelievable as it sounded, my gut said that Blue was telling the truth. Cryogenically freezing someone in the past, then waking them up 200 years later… There was only one group that I knew of who could possess that kind of technology. The Institute.

My mind reeled to decide how to follow-up. This was a huge story. Blue’s family…what happened to them? Who did this? The Institute? Why? I would definitely get to that. But first, we needed something quick and easy for the paper’s next issue.

“So. You've seen the Commonwealth. Diamond City. How does it compare to your old life?”

Blue sighed and looked away. “Can you even compare the two? The world out here? It's not even close to the one I left.” Her voice caught in her throat.

“Feeling a little homesick, are we? Can’t say I blame ya.” I had hit a nerve, and I quickly regretted the question. Maybe that wasn’t the best follow-up, asking a woman how she felt about losing everything and everyone she knew from before. But it was too late to take that back now.

I went for the jugular. “Now, the big question. You came all this way looking for someone. Who is it?”

“My baby, Shaun, was kidnapped. He’s not even a year old.” At the gates, Blue had mentioned to McDonough that she was searching for an infant boy. She didn’t mention that he was her son. Her story got more and more intriguing.

“The parent after the missing child,” I sighed, “As heartbreaking today as it ever was.” I needed to learn more about Blue’s family, but I couldn’t wait to ask the really big question.

“Tell me, do you suspect the Institute is involved?”

“The Institute? Who are they?”

“That, Blue, is the biggest mystery in the Commonwealth.” I gave Blue the lowdown on the Institute: how they sent synths all over the Commonwealth to do their dirty work, how they replaced people with synth double agents. And even though I said they weren’t always responsible for everything that went wrong in the world, I didn’t really believe that.

I leaned into Blue’s face and pressed her for an answer. “…do you think they could be involved? The Institute, or one of their agents?”

Blue leaned back and eyed me warily. “I don’t know.” She thought I was crazy.

I let her off the hook. She really didn’t know anything. “No one ever does. That's what makes them so scary.” It had to be the Institute. If Nick were here, he would admonish me for jumping to conclusions. And maybe he’d be right. But conducting a thorough investigation into something like this takes time. However, if I could get Nick to help…

I was getting ahead of myself. It was time to wrap up the interview. Maybe Blue could say something to the people of Diamond City. Inspire them to stop being so complacent about the kidnapping issue. Plus, Blue’s answer would give me insight into her motivations.

“…I want my readers to hear what keeps you going. Maybe they’ll find a little inspiration. Now, what would you like to say?”

Blue paused a moment to gather her thoughts. “No matter how much you want to give up, don’t. You have to have hope. That you'll see them again. Or at least, that you'll know the truth.”

Impressive. To have hope, in spite of the odds against her. “A strong note to end on, Blue. Thanks. That's everything. It’s gonna take some time to put this all together, but I think your story is going to give Diamond City plenty to talk about.”

…

“Look, about your son. I didn't know if you were on the up-and-up before, didn’t want to waste my friend’s time, but I think he can help you. His name’s Nick Valentine. Detective extraordinaire. Got an office here in Diamond City. Just look for the neon sign with the heart in it.”

I really hoped Nick could help Blue. Lord knew he’d helped me out of a dozen jams before. He had an uncanny eye for detail that surpassed even my own. If anyone could track a lost baby in the wilderness, it was Nick.

“Anyway. I agreed to come with you, right? Watch your back? Just say the word when you're ready. I can’t wait to see where this story goes next.”

“Thanks, I appreciate the tip. Maybe we can stop by Nick’s office tomorrow.”

“Anything else I can do to help?” I offered. We had talked for so long that the sun had set. Nat would be finishing up soon. I just hoped McDonough hadn’t said anything stupid to her while I was interviewing Blue.

“Actually, is there a place Dogmeat and I can crash for the night? It’s been a long journey for us.”

“Sure. The Dugout Inn. Come on, I’ll show you.”

Blue followed me outside. I was surprised that Blue’s dog (Dogmeat, was it?) had sat next to Nat and kept her company while she hawked the paper. Nat climbed down from her box and patted Dogmeat goodbye, then she went inside to put away the leftover papers. I led Blue and Dogmeat down the street and around the corner to the Dugout Inn.

Along the way I pointed out the chapel, the markets, Takahashi's noodle shop. Most of the shops were closed except for Takahashi's and the surplus supply store, with Percy taking the night shift. I pointed the way to the Green Wall, which has protected everyone in Diamond City since its founding. (Except for that one time with the bookcase...But I kept that to myself for now.)

Blue took in the sights quietly and with reverence. Maybe sadness as well? I couldn't tell whether she was awed by our little community, or recalling some long forgotten memory.

The neighborhood kids were out late running the bases. They zigzagged around us; Blue nearly tripped from the kids bumping into her.

“My friends say outsiders smell, but you don't smell at all!” Pete Pembrooke offered insensitively.

“Uh, sorry about the kids,” I apologized, “They’re not used to outsiders.”

“It’s ok,” Blue said, “Kids being kids.” Dogmeat barked loudly at Pete for his rudeness.

When we entered the Dugout Inn, I introduced Blue to the owners Vadim & Yefim. Vadim greeted us warmly and offered us all drinks, which we politely declined. When Blue asked to rent a room, Yefim said, “You can stay, but dog will have to sleep outside.”

“Aw, come on, Yefim!” I protested, “They walked all the way here from Concord! You're really going to make her dog sleep out in the cold?”

“I’m sorry but it's house rules,” Yefim countered in his soft Russian brogue, “We don't pay Scarlett enough to clean up after pets.”

“But Dogmeat’s house trained!” I made that up, although I wouldn’t have been surprised if he was.

“It doesn't matter. No pets.”

“No offense, but it’s not like your rooms are that clean anyway.”

Blue stepped in. “Piper, it's ok. I don't want to cause any trouble when we just got here. Yefim, thank you, I’ll take the room for tonight.” Blue handed ten caps to Yefim in exchange for the keys.

“Thank you for understanding. My brother will show you your room.”

Blue took me aside. “Listen, Piper, I know we just met, but can you do me a favor? Would you mind taking Dogmeat for the night? He’s very capable, but I don't feel comfortable leaving him alone in a strange place.”

“Uh, I don't know,” I hesitated. Dogmeat seemed pleasant enough, but dogs in the Commonwealth were usually vicious. I didn’t know Dogmeat well enough to trust him with Nat and me.

“Look, Dogmeat’s really smart, smarter than most dogs even in my time. He’s really gentle to those he trusts. If it makes you feel better, I can talk to him.”

“You can talk to your dog?”

“Yeah, it sounds crazy, but I can. Here, I’ll do it now.” Blue kneeled down to face Dogmeat, who licked her nose. “Dogmeat, this is our new friend Piper. Piper’s going to help us. So I need you to help Piper and her little sister Nat. Can you do that for me boy?” Dogmeat woofed affirmatively. “Here, hold out your hand Piper.”

“Heeey boy,” I said tentatively. Dogmeat sniffed my hand, then licked my fingers softly. I patted him on the head, and then Dogmeat barked and...smiled?

“Aww, he is a cutie, isn't he.”

“See? Dogmeat approves! He’s a really good judge of character.” Blue face lit up, and then she smiled the most genuine, adorable smile. For a moment, the deep sadness I sensed from Blue during the interview was gone, and it was replaced by a lightness in her presence that I felt drawn to. Past experience has always made me wary of strangers, but at that moment I couldn’t help but like her.

“Oh, alright. Nat seems to like him, so why not.”

“Thank you!” Blue grinned widely and squeezed both of my hands in gratitude.

“Um, is he really house trained?”

“Yeah, as far as I can tell. He never went inside a building since I’ve had him. Dogmeat will be a total gentleman. Won’t you, boy?”

“Woof!”

“Ok Dogmeat, you’ll stay with Piper tonight, but I’ll be back first thing in the morning. You take care of Piper and Nat, okay?”

“Woof!”

With the sleeping arrangements settled, I took Dogmeat back to my place. Nat was pleasantly surprised to see Dogmeat again, and she laughed when he licked her face to greet her.

I stayed up late to transcribe Blue’s interview and write the article. It was generous of Blue to share such a personal, heartbreaking story for the paper. The thought crossed my mind that her story was too personal; even dangerous. Vaults were never the bastions of safety they were advertised to be. If Blue and her family were frozen against their will, and she wasn’t released until now, chances were good that whoever did this was still out there.

I set my doubts aside. A story was a story, and there were papers to be sold. Besides if my instincts were right, tagging along with Blue would lead to more stories.

When I came downstairs to set the type for the new issue, I found Dogmeat nestled next to Nat in her sleeping bag, both sound asleep. If Dogmeat liked both Blue and Nat, maybe he really was a good judge of character.


	2. Field of Screams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Piper learns Blue is a boomer. In more ways than one.

Blue stopped by my place the next morning, as promised.

"Morning Blue. Did you eat anything? I have some Sugar Bombs if you need a snack."

"No thanks, I had breakfast at the Inn. Did Dogmeat give you any trouble?"

"No! He was very good. Him and Nat even had a little sleepover. Didn’t you, Dogmeat?" Dogmeat ignored me and barged his way past my door into Blue's wide stretched arms. Blue rubbed his face as Dogmeat panted happily.

“Huh, you’re welcome, you little mutt,” I scowled sarcastically. Dogmeat barked while Blue shrugged in apology. “Ready to go to Nick's?" We made small talk as we walked to Nick’s office, with Dogmeat following politely behind us.

“I was listening to the Mayor’s speech over at the Green Monster earlier,” Blue said.

“The what Monster?”

“The Green Monster. You know, the wall over there.”

“Oh you mean the Green Wall.”

“Right, the Green Wall. Sorry, they used to call it the Green Monster back in the day.” Blue slapped her head. “Oh boy, if you catch me saying ‘Back in my day...’ too many times, feel free to smack me.”

I laughed. “It’s ok. You’re entitled. And I’m sorry you had to listen to Mayor McDonough. He’s a real piece of work.”

“Yeah, he’s kind of a blowhard, isn’t he.” Blue grinned and waved her fingers in the air in a V. _“I am not a synth!”_ she imitated with a strange gravely voice.

“Ah, that’s pretty good. Although I don’t get the reference,” I mused, copying her V-shaped fingers.

“Oh sorry, I did it again.” Blue lowered her arms awkwardly. “He seemed pretty mad about your ‘Synthetic Truth’ article,” Blue remarked. “I reread it last night. You don't actually come out and accuse the Mayor of being a synth.”

“Well it's hard to do that without hard evidence,” I said, “Which is near impossible to come by when it comes to the Institute.”

“That didn't seem to stop him from trying to ban you from Diamond City. Although in my professional opinion, he has no grounds to evict you. Nothing you wrote was slanderous.”

“Your professional opinion?”

“Oh, I am—was—a lawyer. Before I had Shaun.”

“Interesting,” I said. “I heard of lawyers before the War, although there aren’t any around these days. Hard to practice law when there’s no one to enforce them. Still, your skills could help get McDonough off my back.”

“Well libel law isn’t my area of expertise, but sure, I’d take you on as a client. Pro bono.” Blue winked at me. I tripped on the path.

“Uh, ahem, yeah, that’d be great,” I stumbled. What were we talking about? Dogmeat shook his head, embarrassed for me.

“Oh look! We’re here.” Thankfully we arrived at Nick’s office, and I hurried to open the door.

....

“What do you mean Nick's gone missing?” I shouted at Ellie Perkins, Nick’s office manager.

“He disappeared working a case,” Ellie said anxiously. “Skinny Malone’s gang had kidnapped a young woman, and he tracked them down to their hideout in Park Street Station. There’s an old Vault down there they use as a base. I told Nick he was walking into a trap, but he just smiled and walked out the door like he always does.”

“Oh great,” I complained, shaking my head. “Just what we need. What’s Nick gotten into now?”

Blue touched Ellie’s shoulder. “Don’t worry, we’ll find him,” Blue said.

“Thank you,” Ellie said. “Please hurry.”

We left Nick's office. “Well, now what?” Blue was disappointed.

“We've got a problem. Ellie said Nick is at the Park Street Subway, which is in the middle of Boston Commons. It's a dangerous place...”

“Well just about every place in the Commonwealth is dangerous.”

“Yeah but not this dangerous. A couple of radroaches and a few cranky mole rats are downright docile compared to the Commons. Raiders holed up in every abandoned building, Super Mutants hanging dismembered body parts from skyscrapers, feral ghouls... There's a reason people stay in Diamond City.”

“Great.” Blue was discouraged. "Well, what do you suggest we do?”

“Hmm. We can upgrade your equipment for starters.”

“Upgrade my equipment? What do you mean?” Blue clutched her rusty pipe pistol protectively, its duct-taped scope dangling precariously to one side. I couldn't tell whether Blue was being serious or sarcastic.

“Uh, yeah. And I'll show you around. I did promise to help you. I know a few shortcuts through the Commons that give us slightly better chances of survival."

“Thanks Piper. Lead the way.”

The markets were now open. I introduced Blue to the shopkeepers, Crazy Myrna, Arturo, Solomon. I avoided Moe for obvious reasons. Blue browsed the various stalls before trading in her pipe pistol for a scoped revolver.

I ran into some people I hadn’t seen in a while, and took the opportunity to plug the next issue of _Publick Occurrences_. “Watch out for the next issue! ‘The Woman Out of Time!’ Here she is now! Blue? Blue?”

I turned around and Blue wasn’t there. She was further back, chatting with Sheffield, the resident Nuka Cola bum.

I scurried over to her. “Blue, c’mon he doesn’t know anything,” I said, dragging her away from him. “You really are a fish out of water.”

I continued the tour. “Down there is Fallon’s Basement. Clothing store, in case you need clothes. I mean, you already have clothes, but, you know, in case you want to blend in.” Was it getting warm out here?

“Good to know. Although I don’t plan on changing my suit anytime soon.”

“Oh that’s fine. I didn’t mean to imply that you needed to. I mean, I hear Vault suits are really comfortable, and protective, not to mention form-fitting...” Where was I going with this?

“True, it is really comfortable,” Blue smirked, striking a pose with her suit. “I’m sure I stick out like a sore thumb around here, wearing this ridiculous thing all the time. But that’s the point.”

“I don’t follow.”

“Someone out here knows what happened to my Vault, and to Shaun,” Blue explained. “I figure if I walk around with this suit, with ‘111’ on my back, then other people will see it. Best case scenario, someone knows something and they tell me, or they’ll tell other people who know. Or the people involved will react, make a mistake, maybe leave behind a clue.”

“So it’s a strategic decision to keep wearing the suit.”

“Yeah. And that’s also why I did the interview with you.”

“Ah, for the publicity. Smart. At least we get some mutual benefit.”

“Yeah. I admit it’s a long shot, and it probably makes me an easy target. But it’s a risk I’m willing to take for the chance to find some answers.”

Moe the swatter salesman interrupted us. “You there! You need a genuine, authentic, custom-made hickory Swatter.”

“What's a swatter?” Blue asked. Oh no, Blue. Don’t get him started...

“A rookie, eh?” Moe prattled his ridiculous story about baseball, and how swatters were used to beat the other team to death.

“Oh really. What kind of teams were there?” Blue crossed her arms skeptically.

Groan. I’d heard his spiel a million times. Moe listed all the legendary baseball teams: the Diamond City Demolishers, the Lexington Ladies coached by Bloody Mary Sue, the Concord Crushers, the Quincy Killmeisters. Moe, please stop.

“That’s not how baseball was played,” Blue said.

“That right, Little Miss Smarty Pants?” Moe challenged. “If you're such an expert, how do you think it was played?”

“It was America's pastime." Blue gazed past the scoreboard and waved a hand at the azure sky, a faraway look in her eye:

> ‘The one constant through all the years has been baseball. America has rolled by like an army of steamrollers. It has been erased like a blackboard, rebuilt, and erased again. But baseball has marked the time. This field, this game: it's a part of our past. It reminds us of all that once was good and could be again. Oh...people will come Ray. People will most definitely come.’”

We looked at her, puzzled. Who was Ray? And what did he have to do with baseball?

"Terrence Miles. What, you don't read books in the 23rd century?"

“We would, but the library's been taken over by Super Mutants." I replied, confused.

"Oh, that's too bad." Blue sat down and removed her hat. "You know what else is? The last baseball game that was never played here. This field, Diamond City, was the home of the Red Sox, the most cursed baseball team ever. Hadn’t won a World Series since 1918.”

“Then in 2077, the Red Sox were up 3-0 in the World Series against Texas. After 156 years, they were about to win it all. Then, before game four, the bombs fell. The Red Sox, everyone lost for all eternity. Before the War, you always think, maybe tomorrow. Only there was no tomorrow.”

Moe and I stared blankly at this young old-timer, reminiscing about...something...

Moe huffed. "I liked my version better."

"Sorry, I'm rambling again.” Blue snapped out of her reverie. “I guess I miss baseball."

...

We went back home to check on Nat, who was busy printing Blue’s article on the press. I gave Blue an advance copy. Dogmeat leapt up happily at Nat and licked her face, and Nat rewarded him with some Brahmin jerky.

Later, I took Blue, Nat and Dogmeat to eat noodles at Takahashi’s. Nat fed Dogmeat her extra noodles, and played with the other kids in town while Blue and I talked.

“So, what makes you suspect the Mayor is a synth?” Blue asked. “Besides that ‘Broken Mask’ incident, aren’t these new synths hard to detect?”

“Near impossible.” I waited for the nearby eyebot to fly away before saying anything further. “Well, we really shouldn’t talk about it out here. Let’s just say there are signs. Subtle signs. People who’ve had loved ones kidnapped and replaced, they notice changes in their behavior or the way they speak. Like they might become nicer or meaner, or suddenly have a bigger vocabulary. Or they leave the cap off their toothpaste.”

“Toothpaste, huh. And you’ve observed that with McDonough? Do you have any other proof that he’s connected with the Institute?”

“Proof no. But signs, yes. For instance, he ran for Mayor on an anti-ghoul platform, when he never before expressed animosity towards ghouls. Was it political strategy, or was it the Institute? I’ve interviewed people who knew him before he became the Mayor. They all observed something was off with him. I’ve had to keep all my sources anonymous for their protection. Plus, some of his other acquaintances mysteriously died soon after he was elected. Which points to an Institute cover-up.”

Blue looked at me skeptically.

“You think I’m crazy.”

“No, I’ll take your word for it. I guess I don’t know enough about synths or the Institute to say one way or another.”

“Trust me, you don’t want to know. Although I have a bad feeling that you’ll get to know soon enough, if my hunch is correct.”

“I hope not. Ok, but why write anything about McDonough now? When you don’t have the ‘smoking gun,’ so to speak?”

“I didn’t think I could sit on the story anymore. There are signs that the Institute is ramping up activity. More people are disappearing, more that what can be blamed on raiders or super mutants, and synth activity is up everywhere. I had to warn people about what was happening here in our own backyard, even if I couldn’t accuse McDonough directly.”

“I’m sorry, Piper, what was that?”

“I said, I had to warn—“ but my thought was interrupted by shouting in the distance. Something was happening near the butcher shop.

I told Nat and Dogmeat to stay put. Blue and I raced over to the commotion, then I held her back when I realized what was happening.

“...I swear I’m not a synth! Don’t shoot! For God’s sake, we’re family!” That was Riley! His brother, Kyle, was pointing a gun at him!

A Diamond City guard rushed over. “Put the gun down! Now!”

“He’s a synth! He’ll kill us all!” Kyle screamed. I winced as a gunshot rang out, fearing the worst for Riley.

But it was Kyle. His head exploded. The guard had shot him dead.

Blue and I looked at each other, stunned. It all happened so fast.

“This town always this rough?” Blue asked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Canonically in the Fallout universe, the Red Sox didn’t win the World Series in 2004, 2007, 2013, or 2018, unlike IRL.
> 
> Re: the “Field of Dreams” quotes, I’m mixing genres by pretending Terence Miles was an author during Blue’s time. Terence Miles was the fictional author played by James Earl Jones in the movie “Field of Dreams,” whose character was a stand-in for a fictionalized J.D. Salinger in the book that the movie was based upon.
> 
> Bonus fun fact: Whenever Blue winks at Piper, she does the finger guns and makes the "Kaching!" sound.


	3. Boston Raiders

At dawn, we started our excursion to Boston Commons. Dogmeat stayed behind at home with Nat. The night before, Blue expressed concern about Nat being home by herself. I explained that kids grew up fast in the post-apocalyptic Commonwealth, and that Nat’s been home alone for long stretches before without any problems. Diamond City was the safest place for her to be. Still, Blue insisted that Dogmeat keep Nat company as a guard dog, if not a babysitter. I found Blue’s outdated views on childrearing to be admirable, if unnecessary. 

I drew my pistol as soon as we were clear of Diamond City’s gates. Blue followed my lead, pulling out her sawed-off shotgun and crouching to avoid unnecessary encounters. Blown out buildings surrounded us, teetered on the verge of collapse. Her eyes darted nervously at the ruined cityscape, searching for enemies hiding in every perch. Or maybe she was comparing the ruins with her memory of what they used to be? I wondered what she thought—how she felt—as she surveyed her old stomping grounds.

Along the way, I noticed Blue’s peculiar habit of picking up every piece of crap imaginable. By midday, her duffle bag was already stuffed to the brim with tin cans, broken appliances, machine parts, worn-out tools, dried-out glue bottles, cracked coffee mugs, and other assorted junk. Blue looked athletic, but she was shorter than me, and was about ready to topple over.

After a few blocks of watching her struggle with a full sack, I couldn’t stand it. “Blue, come on, let me help you carry something before you hurt yourself.”

“What do you mean?” Blue stopped walking and swayed uncertainly from the weight of her load.

“That, that junk you’re carrying.” I pointed at her bag. “I’m not sure why you need all that, whatever it is. At least let me help you carry it.”

“Oh no, I don’t want to impose.” Blue set her bag down on the ground. 

“Look if it makes you feel better, I promise not to take any of your stuff. I’m not that kind of person.”

“I’m not worried about that. I just don’t want to be a burden. Are you sure?”

“Yes, it’s ok! Come on.” We split her loot with my spare bag. I grunted as I lifted my half of her junk, wondering privately what I had gotten myself into.

I continued to guide Blue along the safest routes I knew. Of course, safe was a relative term; avoiding all encounters was nigh impossible. In the Commonwealth, safe meant taking the route with the lowest concentration of hostiles, even if it meant going the long way around. And when that wasn’t possible, then safety meant fighting the ones that were least likely to successfully kill and eat you.

We navigated an excruciatingly slow pace through the ruined neighborhoods. By dusk, we had only made it about two thirds of the way to Park Street Station. 

Despite my caution, we had two close calls. Neither were worth writing home about in _Publick Occurrences,_ but they gave me a scare nonetheless. One was with a group of feral ghouls near a cemetery that Blue mistook for the dead. Blue was quickly surrounded, but she kept her cool and blasted her way out with her shotgun. I cut down the rest with precision headshots. 

The second encounter was with a nest of raiders that recently took over an abandoned general store. Their sniper caught me by surprise with a shot that whizzed by my ear, and before I knew it, we were being attacked on the ground. A raider psycho charged at me, while another raider on the street fired a hunting rifle at Blue. I shoved the psycho off me and shot him dead in the chest before he could regroup. 

I dropped my junk bag and ducked behind a nearby Corvega to avoid the sniper, while quickly formulating a plan. If Nick was with me, we could have taken on these low-level raiders on our own. But I was with Blue, fresh out of the Vault, and I didn’t know how she would fare in a real firefight. Fearing for her safety, I resolved to grab Blue’s hand and make a run for it.

In the meantime, Blue had dumped her own junk bag, then ran against the building to avoid the sniper. The other raider on the ground swung around to flank her. In one motion, Blue drew her pistol from her back pocket and fired at the flanking raider. A bullet caught the raider’s arm, and her rifle clattered uselessly on the ground. Blue pressed her advantage and coldly finished the raider off with shots to the chest. 

I ran from the car and grabbed Blue’s hand. But she resisted when I pulled her the other direction. She pointed at the door. “The store’s not that big. Half of the second floor is collapsed and exposed. There can’t be that many inside, and they won’t expect us to press the attack. If we’re careful, we can clear them out and reach the sniper.”

“Are you sure, Blue?” I whispered, concerned. “We don’t have to be heroes. Not worth losing your life over some stupid raiders.”

“I’m—reasonably sure.” She nodded, then gave me a cute little wink. “Come on, we can take ‘em,” she elbowed me playfully. I looked at her, puzzled. Who _was_ this woman?

“Aw, what the hell.” I opened the door quietly. “Go slow and keep your head down.” Blue crept in and held the door for me to follow. We ducked behind the store counter and made our way through a maze of empty dust-covered shelves. The sun had set, and visibility inside was dangerously low. But we had the advantage of surprise. We each got a raider apiece with well-placed headshots. Then we took out a third who ran down to see what the commotion was about. We discovered a makeshift ramp that connected to the sniper’s scaffolding and took him out from underneath.

I was impressed by Blue’s instincts. If she wasn’t wearing a bright blue Vault suit, I’d have thought she had fought her way through the Commonwealth all her life. 

We moved the bodies outside and checked the perimeter for any stragglers. The grim task done, we collected the junk bags we had dropped earlier and combed through the dead raiders’ camp. I secured the store for a night’s stay and found a relatively clean place to sleep. Meanwhile, Blue found more items in the store to add to her collection. 

As a bonus, Blue found the raiders’ ammo chest. The chest was locked. Undaunted, Blue crouched down with a screwdriver and pulled out a Bobby pin from her hair to jimmy the lock. I watched her for a minute as she struggled with the lock. 

“Blue, there’s no way that’s going to—oh wow,” I corrected myself as the chest sprung open. She fished out the prize, boxes of pistol rounds and a tin full of caps. She gave me a few boxes of ammo, then offered me half the caps, which I declined. She was going to need the money more than me. I reloaded my pistol with the pilfered ammo and stashed the rest.

...

“Blue, I have to ask. Where did you learn to pick locks?”

We had just finished dinner and sat on adjacent sleeping bags, in what was left of the store’s top floor. The top floor afforded some protection from ambushes while we slept. It was a clear night, and the stars shined down through the roof’s broken trusses. 

Blue raised an eyebrow. “Is this a follow-up interview, or are you just asking?”

“Call it...professional curiosity. But it can be off-the-record, if you want.”

“I’m just teasing. It’s up to you, although it’s not exactly newsworthy. I, well, I guess you can say I was a nosy kid. Always peeking into people’s medicine cabinets, that sort of thing. Picking locks was a guilty pleasure, but it came from me being too nosy.”

“Hey, I’m nosy too, I’m not judging. It’s a handy skill to have nowadays. Just not something I expected from a, what did you say you were?”

“A lawyer.”

“Lawyer. What about shooting? They teach you how to shoot in law school?”

“Not exactly,” Blue chuckled. “I have Nate, my husband, to thank for that. He was in the Army, so he taught me a few things. Nate's idea of romance was a night at the shooting range. He said I was a natural, but he could have been saying that to get into my pants.”

“Ha. No, I agree you’re a natural, pants or no pants.” Why did I just say that? I pivoted. "What happened to your husband? I didn’t get a chance to ask you earlier." 

"Nate...he didn't make it. He died in the Vault. Shaun and I were the only survivors."

"Oh. I'm so sorry, Blue."

"It's ok. It's...hard to talk about."

"I understand. We don't have to." Reflexively, I glanced at her left hand and noticed she was still wearing her wedding ring. I rummaged through my bag for a Nuka Cola. “Here, you look like you could use a pick-me-up.”

Blue took the Nuka Cola and glanced briefly at the nutritional facts (‘Only 5 rads!’) before opening it. “Thanks. Haven’t had one in ages.” She chugged it down, pocketed the cap and stashed the empty bottle in her junk bag.

She noticed me giving her a sideways glance. “Sorry. You must think I’m a crazy hoarder.”

“Blue it’s fine, I get it, everyone scavenges. Although your scavenging is a bit...much.”

“Oh, I feel so bad. Look, you don’t have to carry my stuff for me. I can leave...some of it behind.” A pained expression crossed her face. 

“No, it’s ok! Really. I’m just giving you a hard time. I promised to help you, and I will.”

Blue looked sheepish. “Thank you. I should explain what it’s for. I’ve been helping some people settle up north, the Minutemen. You heard of them?”

“The Minutemen? I thought they were all dead, after that massacre in Quincy.”

“Yeah, Preston Garvey, he mentioned that. You know Preston?” I nodded, having met him before in Diamond City. “Him and a few others survived Quincy. It’s a long story, but his group needed a place to stay, so I brought them to Sanctuary Hills. That’s the neighborhood where I lived, before the War. Anyway, they’re rebuilding it now. Their engineer, Sturges, showed me how to break down parts and recycle anything into new materials. It’s pretty amazing, actually. You wouldn’t believe how many tin cans it took to make the front gate.”

“Tin cans?” I raised an eyebrow. “Huh, who knew.”

“Sturges also helped me jury-rig some gear with this junk, so I figured I’d keep collecting, save some for Sanctuary and tinker with my own stuff.”

“Hmm. That’s very practical. And all this time, I thought you were collecting trash out of nostalgia.”

“Oh.” Blue laughed. “No, I’m not that crazy. You should come visit Sanctuary sometime, when you have time.”

“That sounds great, maybe I will.” 

We stayed up talking for another hour until I realized the time. “It’s late. We should get some rest now, start first thing in the morning.”

We settled into our sleeping bags. I laid back and stared through the hole in the roof at the starry sky. My eyes drifted closed as I willed myself to sleep.

“Hey Piper?”

My eyes sprung open. I turned to look at her. “Yeah Blue?”

Blue smiled, a twinkle in her deep brown eyes. “Thanks for being here. I—I’m grateful for your help.”

I smiled back, pleasantly surprised. “You’re welcome.” Blue turned away to look at the stars, still smiling.

That was nice of her. But I was here for my own reasons, I told myself. My gut itched, uncertain. _Wasn’t I?_


	4. Gangs of New England

When I awoke, the sun wasn’t up yet. Blue was outside sitting on the scaffolding of the former raider hideout, taking in the view. 

“Morning Blue,” I said, sitting next to her.

“Morning Piper,” Blue replied calmly. “I scoped around, no one’s up yet.” 

“That’s good. What are you doing up this early?” I said, offering her a sweet roll, which she took and ate.

“I had a bad dream, so I went to get some air.” She was clutching something in her hand. 

“Oh. I imagine you’ve had it rough the last few weeks.”

“That’s putting it lightly.” Blue smiled weakly. Blue pointed to the Shamrock Taphouse in the distance. “That’s where Nate and I used to play pool, and I’d drink him and his friends under the table. Over there was the coffee shop where we’d study. We’d go to Red Sox games all the time, in Diamond City where you and Nat live.”

“Wow. Must be a lot of good memories.”

“A lot of good memories. I’m trying to hang on to those, instead of the nightmares. It’s strange, walking around everywhere, passing by places that, to me, were still standing just a few weeks ago. It’s like seeing ghosts.”

“Is that him?” I pointed at the object in her hands.

Blue nodded, then handed over some dog tags, inscribed with, “Howard, Nathaniel T.” A hologram photo of a man with stoic eyes and chiseled jaw materialized.

“I found them in the bottom of a drawer in our old house, in Sanctuary.”

I handed the tags back. “Handsome guy. I see why you married him.”

“Well that’s not the only reason, but it didn’t hurt,” Blue smirked. “We met in college, he was in the ROTC program while I was in pre-law. He was cute, but also smart, witty, down-to-earth. He always made me laugh. We just sort of hit it off.”

“How long were you married?”

“Twelve years. We waited a while to have Shaun because Nate was serving in the Army. He was a decorated war veteran. But the war changed him—the one before this War,” Blue clarified, waving at the post-apocalyptic surroundings, “The war with China. It was terrible. He tried to get out of it by retiring early.”

Blue stared at Nate’s dog tags. “Nate should be the one out here fighting, not me.” She stopped for a moment as tears welled in her eyes.

Poor Blue. “Well if you ask me, you’re holding up pretty well on your own,” I reassured her.

“Thanks, Piper,” Blue smiled at me wistfully. “But you weren’t there at the Vault when a radroach almost killed me.”

“Well I’m sure there were extenuating circumstances. Like hypothermia.” Blue chuckled and seemed to feel better.

“It’s hard losing someone you love,” I reflected. “It took me a long time to deal with losing my dad.” The night before, I had told Blue the story about my father being murdered by Captain Mayburn in the settlement where I grew up. “At least with him, I had closure. I got the truth out and stopped Mayburn. You still have to find your answers. But I have a feeling you will. And it might not seem like it now with all the changes you’ve experienced, but things will get better. I promise.”

Blue nodded, wiping away her silent tears, and took a deep breath. “You know, I haven’t really talked to anyone about Nate since I woke up. I mean, I told Preston some things, but it was so soon after I escaped the Vault, I think I was still in shock. Just—thanks for listening. To an old timer like me.” Blue flashed me a warm smile.

“Aw, any time. Come here.” I gave her a hug, feeling like we were old friends and not strangers who just met three days ago. The sun started rising above the ramshackle buildings, shining the early dawn light on us. “Sun’s almost up, we should get going. See if we can catch Nick.”

...

We crept the rest of the way through crumbled neighborhoods, surviving a minor skirmish with more ghouls and narrowly avoiding a confrontation with some Super Mutants. Eventually we made it to the entrance to Park Street Station. We entered and crawled quietly along the outer subway tunnel, then paused behind two train cars that broke down by the platform. Blue crept between the cars and peered across the platform with her rifle scope.

"I see some men with tommy guns. Looks like four, no, five triggermen. They're guarding the Vault door."

"Where?" I borrowed the scope and spied the giant metal gear set into the wall. "I see it. The door’s closed. Hard to tell from our angle, but the door says...114."

"You ever heard of a Vault 114?" Blue whispered. 

I shook my head. "No. But Ellie did say the gang was using a Vault as a base. There are Vaults hidden everywhere. Nick must be in there, stuck inside the Vault." 

I beckoned Blue to regroup behind the cars. I pointed at the control console near the Vault door. "If we can get to that console, we should be able to open the Vault. But first, we have to get past those triggermen without getting turned into Swiss cheese.” I sighed. “You up for a firefight?”

Blue shrugged. “What the hell.” She readied her guns.

“That’s the spirit.” I patted Blue on the back, then primed a frag grenade and tossed it at a group of three gangsters milling around closest to us. Their bodies went flying before they realized what had happened. Blue and I jumped out firing at the enraged gangsters who rushed after us. More appeared from the woodworks. Their tommy guns blazed and bullets sprayed everywhere around me. 

“Shit!” I quickly took cover under the subway platform, nearly touching the third rail in the process. Blue dove into a derailed subway car, and sniped them through the windows with her rifle. Their submachine guns shattered the windows, and glass rained everywhere.

I scurried down the track a ways and climbed back up between the train cars. From my cover, I took out two more triggermen who had run out of a service room to help. One got past me and ran to aid his fellow gangsters at the Vault door. I advanced to flank the remaining contingent of guards at the door while Blue held their attention from the front.

“Fuck!” Blue screamed as a bullet caught her. She growled in pain. 

“Blue!” I shot another triggerman before he could reach the train car entrance to flank Blue. The remaining gangsters hammered their bullets into the subway car, splintering the metal and pinning Blue.

“Grrrr, fuck this,” Blue shouted, furious. “Piper, fire in the hole!” I took cover behind a fallen pillar. A flaming beer bottle sailed from one of the train windows.

The Molotov cocktail landed right in front of the guards. A wall of flame roared up and spread quickly from where the bottle landed. Two of them caught fire while the rest scrambled. Taking advantage of the chaos, I leapt up and shot one of the scramblers. Blue made quick work of the flaming gangsters with lethal headshots. I charged at the last guard and emptied my clip into him. He slid to the ground dead, his body leaving a bloody streak on the Vault door.

Remembering Blue, I rushed back to the subway car. “Blue! Are you ok?” She stumbled out of the car, clutching her bleeding shoulder.

“I’m fine. Hurts like hell though.”

“Here, sit down. I’ll patch you up.” I helped her remove her shoulder armor. The bullet had pierced clean through the leather. “Looks like it went straight through.” I opened a bottle of purified water and poured some over the wound. I pressed some clean rags onto the wound, telling Blue where to apply pressure. Then I took out a stimpak and carefully injected it into her shoulder muscle. Blue winced, then relaxed as the cocktail of painkillers, antibiotics, and coagulants started doing its work.

“This’ll heal you in no time. Here, let’s change this.” I readied another rag and quickly swapped the blood-soaked rag with it. Already I saw that the bleeding had slowed. “Keep your arm like this for now,” I said, as I positioned her arm close to her body. Then I put her damaged leather armor back over it, strapping it tighter than usual so that it could apply more pressure.

“Thanks. Man that hurt.” Blue got up gingerly, and we headed to the Vault door control console. 

I looked at the array of colorful buttons, switches, and blinking lights. “Well, it looks like we can open the door from here. But we need a remote access key.” I pointed at a large round plug. 

"Access key. Are those the things that look like they’d fit into this port?” Blue twisted her arm to show me the underside of her Pip Boy. It looked like it was the same size as the plug on the the control panel, with some prongs inside.

“I guess,” I shrugged. “Looks the same as this one.”

“Well, I know where we can get a key."

"You do? Great! Where?"

Blue's face turned white. "Vault 111.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the slight deviation from canon. But it'll be worth it!
> 
> Re: Nate's name, according to the Fallout wiki, the developers first introduced Nate as "Mr. Howard" after Bethesda director Todd Howard. Which is like, fine, whatever. (I really wanted to make his last name "Jones" so that I could make a Norah Jones joke later, but it doesn't matter.)


	5. Attack of the Killer Crabs

"I, uh, left the access key behind when I escaped Vault 111." 

My heart sank. "Oh Blue. Well, you didn’t know.”

Blue was mortified. “Dammit, I’m sorry. I’m such an idiot.”

“Okay, let’s not panic. Maybe Nick can open the door from inside. Let’s try radioing in.” I pressed a button next to a speaker that was labeled “Processing” and talked into the speaker. 

“Hello? Helloooo?”

“Who is this? You dumb bitch! You better open this door right now! No one messes with Skinny Ma—”

I switched off the speaker. “Okay, wrong channel.”

“Oh no, the gang’s in there too,” Blue said.

“Yeah, and it sounds like they can’t open the door either.”

“But where’s Nick?”

“I don’t know.” I felt anxious for my friend. “Let’s try calling these other places, maybe we can reach him.” I pressed the button marked “Overseer’s Office.”

“Hello? Is anyone there?”

“Piper, is that you?” Nick’s distinctive detective drawl came through the speaker.

“Nick! Boy am I glad to hear your voice. Ellie sent us!”

“She did? I should give her a raise.”

“Nick, can you open the Vault door? We can’t do it from the outside.”

“No, I can’t. Skinny Malone lured me here into a trap, like Ellie suspected. So I sabotaged the controls to cut off his reinforcements. Figured I’d have a better chance if we were all trapped together, then I can pick them off one by one. I’ve been playing cat and mouse in here ever since. I’m hunkered down here in the Overseer’s Office with a hundred booby traps between them and the entrance.”

“Great. And how did you plan on getting out?”

“Well, I figured Ellie would eventually send a Good Samaritan like yourself to find a way out. But if you’re saying you can’t, well that blows my plan out of the water.”

I looked at Blue. “Nick, we might have a way. I’m here with a Vault Dweller.”

“A Vault Dweller?”

“It’s a long story. Anyway, we can get the remote access key from her Vault, but it’ll take—“ I let go of the button. “How far away is your Vault?”

“Uh, it took me three days to reach Diamond City. So three days there, then three days back—"

“Six days?!” And that was assuming there were no delays along the way, which there always were. I pressed the intercom button. “It’ll take us about a week, give or take.”

“A week?!” There was a long pause, and I couldn’t tell if Nick was upset. 

“Well, it’s not like I’m going anywhere,” Nick radioed back. “Go ahead and get the key. I’ll keep picking off Skinny Malone’s men. With any luck, they’ll all be dead by the time you get back.”

“Are you sure, Nick?”

“Yeah, go on. I’ll be fine. You two be careful.”

“Okay, Nick, stay safe, we’ll be back as soon as we can.” 

I switched off the speaker. “Well you heard him, Blue, let’s go get the key.”

“What about the gangsters?”

“Skinny Malone can’t call his goons in Goodneighbor for backup. And even if he could, his men can’t get through that door.” Blue grimaced at me skeptically. “Look, even if they planted a bunch of C4 and mini nukes, that door is designed to withstand a direct hit by an atomic bomb. Trust me, there’s no way they can break in or out.”

“Well, I guess I could stop by Sanctuary along the way to see how the settlers are doing. What about Nat? Should we check on her first?”

“No,” I said, a tad too forcefully, “It’ll take too long to double back to Diamond City. Nat will be fine. She knows what to do, and besides she has Dogmeat.”

“If you’re sure, okay,” Blue said reluctantly. “Let’s get out of here.”

...

It took the rest of the day to reach the city outskirts. We found a dilapidated Colonial style house to camp at, but a couple of mirelurks from the nearby pond were nesting there. 

Blue’s arm still hurt too much to aim properly, so she wanted to try a new tactic. The plan was to plant frag mines outside, then she would lure them out over the mine path. I was to chase after them with the shotgun as a backup in case the frag mines didn’t kill them. 

The plan mostly worked. Mostly. I’d never seen Blue run so fast for her life, as mirelurks twice her size chased after her. 

The mines killed the first mirelurk, but the second one was still alive and scurrying on its remaining legs long after we’d run out of mines. I sprinted behind them and pumped all of my shotgun shells into its carapace, but the mirelurk kept going.

Blue tripped and fell, and was about to be eaten alive when I finally finished off the damn crab with my spare pistol. The mirelurk’s carcass landed on top of her with a thud.

I ran to Blue. “Blue! Blue! Are you okay?”

Blue was laying face up, pinned underneath the giant crab. When I pulled the mirelurk off her, she was covered in mud and crab guts, laughing hysterically.

“Blue! Oh my God, I thought you were dead!”

“Me too.” Blue was still laughing. “I hate these fucking crabs.”

“You. Are. Crazy.” I scolded her as I helped her up. Some crab guts got on me, and I started laughing too, in spite of myself.

Blue made her way back to the abandoned house to clean up and set up camp, while I scavenged the mirelurks’ meat and a few unhatched mirelurk eggs. There would be a crab feed tonight. When I came back, Blue had started a camp fire and was checking her injured arm. 

“How’s your arm?” I asked.

Blue unstrapped her shoulder armor and checked the rags. The bleeding had stopped completely, and her wound was clotted over. “Better, a lot better.” She gingerly rotated her arm. “Stimpaks are amazing. Unlike this piece of junk.” She tossed her useless leather arm pad on the ground.

“Told you not to shop Crazy Myrna’s bargain bin. Arturo’s stuff is way better.”

“That’s what I get for not listening to you,” Blue joked, before changing the subject. “Piper, are you sure Nick will be okay? I feel bad just leaving him there.”

“Nick’s a good fighter. Those gangsters won’t take him down that easily. Besides, he’s…sturdy." I said cryptically. “And hard to kill.”

“Okay... But won’t Nick need food or water? He’ll be cut off for a week.”

“No, Nick doesn’t eat. Much! Nick doesn’t eat much. He’s a, uh, vegan.”

“A vegan?” Blue eyed me quizzically. 

I was a terrible liar. I would have told Blue, but I didn’t think it was my place to speak for him. “Don’t worry about Nick. The best way to help him is to get that key. Your key.”

Blue buried her head in her hands. “I still can’t believe I left the key behind.”

“Blue, don’t beat yourself up over it. You couldn't have known.”

“Ugh. I should have grabbed it, though. I was just so distraught—and freezing. All I could think about was escaping. I hope it’s still there.”

“It’s there, don’t worry. Let’s eat, you’ll feel better after we’ve had something.”

...

Hours later, we were still talking long after we had finished a full meal of roast mirelurk, omelettes, and mirelurk cakes. Blue even showed me how to make the mirelurk cakes, based on a recipe she once read in a magazine.

“Wow, I can’t believe you joined a cult,” Blue said, laughing. “These Children of the Atom sound cuckoo bananas.”

“They’re mostly harmless. The main group hangs around somewhere in the Glowing Sea. This Bunker Hill group though, and their plan to forcibly convert people with irradiated water...yeah, they were a whole other level of crazy.”

“I take it you’re not about to test if you’re immune to radiation.”

“No thank you. I’m perfectly happy to be a non-practicing acolyte of Atom.”

Blue finished her last swig of Gwinnett. “Well, you’ve certainly led an exciting life.”

“Sure have, but honestly now that I’m with you, I feel like I’m just getting started.” I polished off my own Gwinnett. “Hey, I just want to let you know, I’m real happy to be along for the ride.”

“I wouldn’t want it any other way. I like having you close.”

_What._ My eyes shot up at Blue. She was staring back at me intently. The dying firelight illuminated her eyes with a warm glow. 

I was suddenly aware of how close we were sitting together.

“Oh. Uh, thanks, Blue. That’s awful sweet...and unexpected of you.” I blushed, although it could have been because of the beer. 

We stared at each other for a few moments before Blue turned away. “Well, we should probably get some sleep. Goodnight Piper.” She tucked herself into her sleeping bag.

“Goodnight, Blue.” 

I sat and stared at the fire pit long after it burned itself out.


	6. Adventures in Vertibird Parenting

I hadn’t been up north in a long time. I was so accustomed to city life, that I forgot how beautiful the countryside—or what passes for one in the post-apocalypse—could be. Freed from the constraints of the urban jungle, we talked a lot on the open road. It didn’t feel like one had to be silent out here. Something about the natural landscape felt tranquil and safe. But we still had to be cautious. Out here, it was easy to be lulled into a false sense of complacency, when in fact hidden dangers lurked around every mutated shrub and rock outcropping. 

Most of the dangers were of the wildlife variety, and therefore manageable, with the exception of the rare deathclaw or yao guai. Encampments of raiders and super mutants were also scattered around this far north, although those were easy to spot and avoid. Our talking occasionally attracted the attention of some oversized bugs and a few mongrels, but we mostly stayed out of trouble.

I observed Blue as we continued our hike north. She had a quiet confidence and was easy to talk to. She struck me as intelligent and genuine. And she wasn’t bothered by my nosy questions. I hadn’t had someone like her to talk to in a long time. Yet despite her openness with me, I sensed that she kept some things close to the vest. That she buried her feelings deep beneath the surface.

I replayed Blue’s offhand remark from last night in my head. _I like having you close._ Was I reading too much into it? I thought she was still grieving _her husband._ I looked at her hand. Yep, her wedding ring was still on. I wondered what she meant. I wondered if she knew what she meant.

Maybe I was reading too much into it. I was losing my objectivity, mixing my feelings—which I wasn’t even aware of having until now—into my observations. But the way she looked at me afterwards couldn’t be dismissed. At least that’s what my gut said.

The next morning, Blue acted like her usual charming self, like nothing had happened. So maybe it was nothing?

I was getting nowhere by second-guessing. I should just confront her directly. That’s the fastest way to get at the truth. But despite her bravado, she was in a vulnerable place, and dealing with a lot of emotions. Confronting her might scare her off. 

And I wasn’t sure I wanted to scare her off.

I hated doing this, but I was going to try the indirect way. 

I ran up to Blue. “You know, I still really appreciate the fact that you’re not an idiot.” 

Oh fuck. Why did it come out like that?

“Uh, thanks? You too...”

“No, I didn’t mean like...” Piper, you idiot! I suddenly lost my nerve. Pivot, pivot. “I could use some help.” 

Blue stopped walking. “Ok, I’m listening. What do you need?”

“This isn’t the sort of thing I’d normally bother anyone with, but you just seem really good with people, and I got this issue. With my sister. Nat.” Nat? Why was I bringing up Nat?

“Nat? Is there something wrong with Nat?”

“No, no! Nat’s fine. She’s fine.”

“Here, let’s sit down and talk.” Blue checked around quickly for hostile creatures, then guided me towards a sturdy tree to sit under. We set our things down and sat with our backs against the tree for protection.

“Ok Piper. Tell me what’s going on with Nat.”

Damn, it was too late to change the subject. But this thing with Nat had been bothering me for a while. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to get her advice.

“Um, I’m worried that Nat is—becoming me.”

“Becoming you? What do you mean?”

“I’m just terrified she’s going to start taking up like her big sis. I mean, think about the life we lead. No offense intended, but personal safety doesn’t seem like either of our strong suits.”

“None taken.”

“I can’t have her ending up like her big sister, dodging bullets and running from all the people she pisses off.”

“Wait, what is she doing? What’s making you concerned?”

“Um, well, I’ve gotten notes from the schoolhouse about Nat speaking out in class. Arguing with the teachers and voicing opinions that make the people in authority uncomfortable. My influence, no doubt. She’s gotten into fights with some kids over things they say. And, at least once or twice, she’s snuck out of Diamond City on a dare.”

“Sneaking out of Diamond City?! That doesn’t sound safe.”

“No it’s not. Although as far as I can tell, she doesn’t go past where the guards are posted. It’s still outside though. She acts like I don’t know, but I do. But because I’m her sister, not Mom or Dad, she doesn’t always listen to me. She’s independent anyway because I’m gone so much, because I need to chase stories to keep the paper going. So I can’t always be there for her. It’s frustrating sometimes.”

“I’m sorry. That must be a lot to deal with. Go on.”

“Anyway... It’s part of the reason I’m on the road so much. Part of the reason I’m here with you. I keep thinking, maybe if I make myself scarce, if I’m not around her enough, she’ll cool off. She’ll go back to being sweet, innocent Nat, papergirl, and all-around upstanding citizen. What do I do, Blue?”

“So is that why you didn’t want to double back to Diamond City right away? You’re here to get away from Nat?”

“Well, I mean...there are other reasons. But right now, the only thing I can think about is Nat. What do you think I should do?”

Blue leaned against the tree and put her hand on her chin. She thought hard for a minute.

“Piper, can I be perfectly honest with you?”

“Always.”

“Just for full disclosure...I might not be the best person to ask for parenting advice.”

“Wha—what do you mean?”

“I mean, I don’t really have a lot of parenting experience. Maybe I come across as the ‘ultimate mom’ because I’m out here searching for Shaun. But really, I have less than a year of parenting under my belt, and with a baby, not an 11 year-old. Now, I know you’re not her mom, but you’ve been raising her on your own for, how long?”

“Eight years.”

“Eight years?!” Blue looked at me, awed. “Wow, I should be the one asking you for advice. Back in my day, parenting standards were so different. There was so much ‘vertibird parenting.’ If you so much as left your child alone to play at home for five minutes, they’d throw you in jail. Not exactly practical parenting standards to have these days when you’re trying not to get killed every five seconds...”

As interesting as it was to discuss pre-War parenting standards, this conversation wasn’t going the way I envisioned. “Ok, Blue, maybe don’t think about it as a parenting issue. I asked you because you seem like a rational person. And given your past experience, you must have insight into people and relationships.”

Blue paused to think again. “I don’t know Nat that well, but my impression is that she’s well-adjusted. Considering all that you two have been through, that’s no small feat. You should really be proud of that.”

“P-proud? Believe me, Blue, I don’t feel proud most days.”

“That’s because you care about Nat, and you’re worried about her. And rightfully so, given how dangerous this world is. I think it’s normal for any parent, or parental figure, to feel anxious for their kids. That they’re not doing enough for them, even when they’re doing their best.”

“But it isn’t enough,” I said. “We barely scrape by as it is. We’re just trying to survive, like everyone else. I’m not always around because of my work. And now she’s starting to do things that I used to do when I was her age. I just don’t want her to make the same mistakes that I did, and get hurt in the process.” 

“Then who better to help her not make those mistakes than you?”

“I don’t know. She doesn’t always listen to me. Because she sees me doing things that are dangerous, so she thinks it’s ok to do it.”

“Oh. I get it now.” Blue leaned her head back to think. 

“This is just a guess, because, again, not much parenting experience... I think Nat’s just growing up. Maybe she’s testing her boundaries. It must be uncomfortable to see someone you raised change in ways you can’t fully control. It doesn’t mean she should get away with everything. But you can’t decide who Nat’s going to be, Piper. She does. The best you can hope for is to be a positive influence in her life. That is, if you decide to be a part of her life.”

Blue continued, “Look, it’s not my place to tell you what to do. But from personal experience, distancing yourself to change someone’s behavior seldom works. At least not the way you want it to. Lord knows I didn’t turn out the way my parents expected, no matter how much they tried.”

“Really, Blue? You?”

“Uh, it’s complicated. Forget I said that.” Right, Blue. I made a mental note to follow up later. “Just, love her. Spend whatever time you can with her, no matter how small. Waking up one day to find you don’t even recognize the people you loved, no one should have to go through that.” 

Blue squeezed my hand. “You’re doing a great job. Really, you’re amazing. I don’t know how you do it.”

Blue hugged me, and I held onto her for a long time. This wasn’t the conversation I thought I’d have, but it was the one I needed. I rested my head on her shoulder and let go of some of my worry. 

It was hard to let go, but eventually I pulled away to look at her. “Thanks Blue. Who’d expect wandering off with a stranger to turn out this well?”

“Ha. You never know.” Blue beamed, and a warm glow bloomed in my chest. “I’m here for you. If you need anything, just ask. With Nat or the paper, anything. We have to help each other out, you know?”

“Yeah, same here.” I smiled back. “They really don’t make them like you anymore. You’re a hell of a friend, you know that?”

“Thanks,” Blue hesitated for a second. “The feeling’s...mutual. Should we get going?”

The rest of the day’s hike was mostly uneventful. We had fun exterminating bloat flies with swatters that Blue had bought from Moe when I wasn’t looking. At camp, I pitched Blue a story about Sanctuary for the paper, and she agreed to let me interview its residents. We traded stories and jokes over dinner before bed. 

For now, we were friends, and I was ok with that. At least I thought I was. 

My gut said otherwise— _you want more._

Shush, you. Fine, it’s true. I knew myself too well. But unless something changed, there was nothing I could do.

I laid in my sleeping bag and thought about Blue’s advice. I didn’t expect to talk about Nat, but it felt better to get that weight off my chest. Somehow, Blue shifted my whole perspective on the problem. At its core, the issue wasn’t about Nat. It was about me. 


	7. Sanctuary Rising

On the third day of our hike, we finally reached Sanctuary Hills. A half-broken bridge spanned over a river, the other side blocked by a massive gate. I nervously crossed along the still-intact side of the bridge.

“Sorry,” Blue apologized as she followed me, “I’ve been wanting to get this bridge fixed forever. We’ve been putting all our resources into building the settlement’s infrastructure first.”

“It’s alright, as long as I don’t fall in the water,” I said, gripping tightly to the splintered handrail.

A guard tower flanked by machine gun turrets loomed over the gate. A female ghoul settler I vaguely recognized from Goodneighbor stood watch at the tower. 

“General!” she greeted. “Let me get the gate for you.” She came down and pushed the gate open.

As the gate opened, I saw a suburban paradise stretch before me. A wide paved road was flanked by 2070s era modern tract homes, shining street lamps, and orderly rows of mailboxes. Each home was painted with different shades of cheery pastel, and had an impeccably manicured green lawn framed by white picket fences. A brand new Corvega was parked in front of every house and carport. The houses were trimmed with clean powder coated metal siding. Posh red front doors and clean welcome mats greeted visitors. Through a living room window, I glimpsed a gleaming white kitchen, a television set playing the latest episode of the _Silver Shroud_ , and a family enjoying a quiet meal together at their dining table.

I imagined all of this in my mind’s eye, which filtered out the rust, broken structures and post-apocalyptic wear and tear. I had studied enough history to be able to piece together what life was like before the War. I did this mental exercise to better understand the context of my research, not for nostalgia. The past was the past, and unchangeable. 

The point of this exercise was to try to understand the world that Blue came from. The best part was that I had Blue, my own pre-War relic, as a firsthand source to compare notes with, check my assumptions, and gain real insight into the past. I planned to ask Blue to see her house later.

Once we were past the checkpoint, we were greeted by Preston Garvey. He sported a broad leather hat and moved with military precision in his tan Minuteman uniform.

“General! Welcome back,” Preston said. _General?_

“Lieutenant.” Blue shook Preston’s hand firmly, then hugged him, to his surprise. “Preston, you know Piper Wright? She’s helping me with the search for my son.”

“Of course. Piper, a pleasure to see you again,” Preston said, shaking my hand. “Welcome to Sanctuary.”

“Thanks Preston, good to see you too,” I greeted back. 

“General, when you’ve had a chance to settle down, let’s talk at the workshop house. More Minutemen fires to put out.”

“Aren’t there always,” Blue quipped, “We’ll talk soon.” Preston tipped his hat and headed into the settlement.

“General?” I whispered into Blue’s ear incredulously.

“Uh, long story,” Blue whispered back.

Blue and I headed to the workshop house in the middle of the cul de sac. She put her junk bag down near a workbench, and helped take mine off my shoulders. It was a relief to finally be rid of that heavy load. A man with a tool belt and overalls came by to collect the junk.

“Hey General!” he greeted. Blue hugged the man and introduced him to me, Sturges the engineer. 

Sturges perused the goodies. “This is great, thanks so much for collecting this! Now I can finish off the second addition to the community house. Oh, but we’re going to need more duct tape. And screws, oil, and aluminum for the turrets. Can you keep an eye out for those next time you’re out?”

“Uh, sure thing, Sturges.” Blue said politely. I groaned.

“Great! Here’s a shopping list so you don’t forget.” Sturges handed her a long scribbled note, then started sorting the junk in earnest.

“Guess I’m still on garbage duty,” Blue complained to me. “I’m trying to hand off this job, but until we have more helpers and get more settlements to trade with us, I’m the designated garbage lady.”

“Well, no one said settlement building was glamorous,” I consoled. “I should know from my dad.”

“Oh, before I forget! Your story.” Blue rang a bell to summon the settlers to the workshop house. 

A small group of settlers, Preston, and a floating Mr. Handy robot gathered around the house. Among the settlers were two ghouls, the one we met at the gate and another wearing a loud yellow suit and matching fedora. The rest were human, including an elderly woman, Sturges, the Longs, and...Sheffield? 

Blue hopped onto a small soap box to address the small crowd. 

“Hey everyone! I’m happy to be back, and it’s so great to see you all. And thank you for supporting my search for my son. First, thank you so much for continuing to build Sanctuary into a thriving community. Your hard work is clearly paying off. The community house, the crops, the perimeter fencing, it all looks fantastic. Let’s give ourselves a round of applause.” 

The audience clapped politely for themselves.

“Second, I would like to welcome a special guest, Ms. Piper Wright,” Blue gestured to me, and I waved timidly. “Some of you may know Piper as the reporter and editor of _Publick Occurrences_. I’ve asked her to do a story about Sanctuary and the community that we’re building. She may ask to interview some of you. It’s totally optional, but please consider doing it if you can. It’s an opportunity to get some visibility for Sanctuary and the great work you’re all doing, which will also help us recruit more help. Thanks everyone!”

As the settlers dispersed, I overheard Marcy Long grumbling. “Hmph, waste of time. Kissing up to a lousy reporter.” 

I was about to say something to her, when the ghoul in the yellow suit approached me. “Excuse me, Miss Wright? Would you consider interviewing an old Vault salesman like me?” He extended his hand.

I shook his hand. His grip was frail and leathery, but his handshake was sincere. “Absolutely, sir. I’d be happy to interview you!” Several others volunteered to be interviewed, including Sturges, Mama Murphy, Sheffield, and the ghoul woman from Goodneighbor. Preston also agreed to sit down with me once the other settlers had been interviewed.

Blue put a hand on my shoulder while I was busy scheduling several interviews. “I’ll leave you to it. I’ll do some some housekeeping while you work.”

“Thanks Blue, I’ll come find you when I’m done. You’re giving me a quote too, right?”

“Of course.” Blue winked, and I lost my train of thought.

I decided to interview people in the community flophouse, which was built on an empty lot next to the workshop house. The flophouse was serviceable, but stuck out like a sore thumb, out of place and time next to the 2070s-era tract homes. The first floor had a dedicated bar and cantina, while the second floor had beds for new settlers. A cordoned-off area upstairs was for Sturges’ planned addition extending the house. Most of the original settlers had taken over some of the single-family homes that were still standing, although a few other homes remained empty.

Codsworth, the Mr. Handy robot, hovered to me as I set up shop in a small seating area near the bar. “Some tarberry lemonade, ma’am?” he asked in a tinny English accent, his claw hand clutching a pitcher. 

“No thanks, but I could use a Nuka Cola. Cherry, if you have it,” I requested.

“Right away, ma’am.” Codsworth rummaged behind the bar and brought out a Nuka Cherry and a tray of hors d’oeuvres. “I’m sure you’re famished after your long journey, ma’am. And, may I just say how grateful I am that you’re accompanying the Master on her quest?”

“Master? How long have you known Blue?”

“Why, I’ve faithfully served the Master since before the War,” Codsworth answered. “Over 212 years of proud service to her household.”

“Oh! I had no idea. Codsworth, would you mind answering a few questions for me then?” I thumbed through my interview schedule. “Say 2:00?”

“It would be my pleasure, ma’am,” Codsworth replied. He floated away to tend to his other butler duties.

...

I spent the next three hours interviewing the residents of Sanctuary. My hand cramped from constantly jotting down notes throughout the interviewing marathon. But it was worth it. By the end of it, I had a compelling profile of Sanctuary through the eyes of its residents. Here were some highlights:

Rick, former Vault-Tec salesman: “At first, she refused my special offer from Vault-tec. Good thing her husband changed her mind. You could say that I saved her life! It’s too bad they didn’t let me into the Vault with her. Being a ghoul all these years has been hard. But I’m so glad I ran into her, and she invited me to come to Sanctuary. People are nice here. Best decision I’ve made in the last 200 years. It’s funny how things work out.”

Sturges, Minuteman engineer: “Mama Murphy had a vision about Quincy being attacked, so I called the Minutemen for help and Preston came with Colonel Hollis. But the Gunners and that turncoat Clint cut everyone down just the same, including the Colonel. There’s just no escaping fate, I guess. Preston took it hard. It was awful, but I try not to think about it too much. I just stick to building and working towards a new future. The General made it possible for us to even have a future, saving our butts down in Concord.”

Mama Murphy, ~~crazy old lady~~ purported psychic: “I saw it twice, the death and destruction in Quincy. First through the Sight, and then when it finally came to pass. But I never lost hope. The Sight told me the journey would be long, and many would die, but that we would be saved in Concord. When the General came, I knew. I see your future with her… If you give me some chems, I can tell you more… No? Ok next time.”

Sally, former Goodneighbor resident: “Don’t get me wrong, Goodneighbor’s alright, but I got tired of the violence there. I came here for a change of scenery, and the General welcomed me with open arms. She didn’t care if I was a ghoul. Everyone works so hard and takes care of each other. I just want to do my part to make this place special.”

Sheffield, former Nuka Cola bum: “Oh hey Piper! Your friend gave me a Nuka Cola, and then she told me where I can get all the Nuka Cola I want! Of course, I gotta work for it, but I don’t mind. Farming and scavenging ain’t hard. Anything for Nuka Cola...”

Codsworth, robot butler: “I was overjoyed to find the Master alive and well after all these years. I’ll admit it was a rough and lonely 210 years for me, roaming the neighborhood on my own. Fortunately I kept everything in tip-top shape, or as well as could be expected after a nuclear apocalypse. Now that we have new guests, it’s a pleasure to serve again.”

Preston, Minuteman lieutenant: “I don’t want to talk about what happened in Quincy. No offense Piper, it’s just too soon. I’ll just say that when we evacuated from Quincy, there were just 20 of us left from the whole town. When we were holed up at the Museum in Concord, we were down to five, and surrounded by bloodthirsty raiders. I didn’t tell anyone at the time, but I thought we were dead to rights. The General showed up in the nick of time and saved us all. She had no idea who we were or what we’d been through, but she fought for us anyway. Later, she told me she just came out of a Vault, but that didn’t matter to me. I saw something in her, something I just don’t have. She was our new General.”

...

I finished my last interview around 3:00. Only one more to go with Blue. She was tooling around with her weapons when I found her.

“Hey, Blue,” I greeted, watching her work. “You know, if you want to build me a second printing press while you’re at it, that’d be great.”

Blue looked up from her work. “Oh sure! Just as soon as I finish remodeling my kitchen, patching my old roof, and rebuilding the engine in my Corvega,” she joked. “You done?”

“Yep. You’re my last one,” I said.

“Great! I’m just about done too. Let’s do it at my house.”

We walked across the street together. Blue opened the front door, which was unlocked. I peeked inside.

“Nice house, Blue.”

“Thanks. The best part is I don’t have to pay the mortgage anymore.”

“Um, ok.”

“Sorry, dumb joke. Come on in.”

At first glance, her house looked less rundown than the others. I passed through her kitchen, its cabinetry intact save for the nonfunctioning appliances. Blue had left her powerless television and broken stereo in the living room. The bathroom fixtures were in remarkably good shape, although I wouldn’t have wanted to test the plumbing by taking a shower in there. Hers and Nate’s bedroom also looked the same, although she had replaced the old bed with a simple cot. 

Finally I peeked into Shaun’s room. His sad little crib, with the rocket ships mobile hanging from it, sat empty in the corner. His changing table and dresser were untouched. Aside from some rust and bent sheet metal, the house looked like a museum of suburbia circa 2077.

“Geez Blue, the house doesn’t look like it’s changed much in 200 years.” I observed.

“I think Codsworth was keeping it up the whole time. He keeps muttering how impossible it is to remove nuclear fallout stains from the carpets.”

I laughed. “Your poor robot, it’s a miracle he didn’t have a nervous breakdown trying to clean everything for two centuries. But I was talking about all the furnishings, like the kitchen. And Shaun’s room. I mean you’ve kept everything almost the way it was.”

Blue reflected for a moment. “You think I’m hanging onto the past too much?”

“It’s just an observation. I mean, I don’t blame you, the world pretty much changed overnight from your point of view.”

“Maybe you’re right. I haven’t even been living here that much. I’ve been so busy running around looking for my son. Yet I’ve kept everything in my house the same, even as the settlers scavenged my neighbors’ homes for parts. I guess that’s selfish of me, trying to hold on to this place.” 

Blue sighed. “Maybe I keep hoping that I’ll come back someday, and everything will be back the way it was before. Maybe I’m not ready to move on.”

“I get it. It’s hard to move on when you don’t have answers about what happened to your family. Sorry I didn’t mean to bring you down. If you don’t mind talking about Sanctuary again, I’ve got a few follow-up questions.”

“Sure.” Blue invited me to sit, and we settled comfortably next to each other on the couch. 

“I’ve talked to everyone, and I’ve got to say that what you’ve built here in such a short amount of time is remarkable.”

“Thanks. Yeah, it’s coming along nicely.”

“Blue, don’t be so modest. You saved these people, built a new community from scratch, and provided a whole new start for the Minutemen. In case you haven’t noticed, settlements like these are few and far between in the Commonwealth. This place has the potential to be a real beacon of hope for people. ”

“Thanks. I appreciate that. But really, I can’t take all the credit. Preston’s been doing a great job leading the group. And Sturges plans and builds all the projects. I just do what they tell me, and provide some advice and the real estate.” 

“I think you’ve done a lot more than that. Preston wouldn’t have appointed you General of the Minutemen for nothing.”

“Oh yeah, the ‘General’ thing. Poor Preston was the last Minuteman standing, and he’s not in the frame of mind to assume command. What happened at Quincy and afterwards would shake anyone’s confidence. Personally, I don’t think of myself as a ‘General,’ coming from a civilian background. Chief Operating Officer, or Manager might be a more appropriate title. Hell, my husband was the military guy, and he retired as a Captain. But if being called ‘General’ helps the Minutemen get back on their feet, I’ll go along with it.”

“Well it’s good that you’re putting this leadership role in perspective. Although I’ll leave your preferred title off the record. Somehow, ‘Manager of the Minutemen’ doesn’t inspire the same confidence as ‘General.’”

“Ha, fair enough. I’m just doing what I can to help, making sure we have a good foundation. Basic needs and defense are important, but so is trade, and rebuilding capacity by training new leaders. Now, I know Preston doesn’t consider himself a Minuteman leader right now, even though he obviously is. I’ve tried promoting him, but he won’t accept a higher rank. But he’ll get there. He just needs time to regain his confidence.”

I scribbled Blue’s comments in my notepad. “Blue, this will make a great story, but I want to make sure you’re ok with me running it. Once word gets out, places like these tend to become targets for raiders or worse.”

“Oh I know. We’ve already been hit a couple times by raiders and super mutants. Before I left for Diamond City, I had to shoo away a super mutant who had wandered into my backyard.”

“You shooed him away?”

“Ok, we had to kill him, but I felt bad about it. Apparently there was a hole in our perimeter that he managed to squeeze through. But we patched that, and the group’s been building up the defenses, so I feel much better about security. Go ahead and run your story. It’s safe here, relatively speaking.”

I jotted this down. “In that case, can I get one last quote from you? Any parting thoughts?”

Blue thought for a minute, then said, “I’ll give the recruiting pitch. Everyone is welcome in Sanctuary. No matter what race, creed, or species, anyone who is willing to work hard and help others has a place here.”

“Well said.” I finished writing, and stood up. “When do you want to head to the Vault?” 

“Maybe in a couple of hours? It’s not far from here, but we should rest up first.”

“Ok, I’ll be across the street.” I pointed to the workshop house. “Just come get me when you’re ready.”

I got up to leave, then stopped at the doorway. “Hey Blue, I’m sorry we have to go back there.”

Blue stared at her broken television. “Me too, Piper.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Totally optional behind-the-scenes post at <https://velvet-helvetica.tumblr.com/post/612688177211310081/show-chapter-archive>


	8. Tomb of the Unknown Vault Dweller

Blue woke me up late in the afternoon at Sanctuary’s workshop house.

“Come on. Let’s get this over with.”

I followed Blue to Sanctuary’s north gate, a simple checkpoint built between her neighbors’ houses. Beyond the gate was a wooden footbridge—still standing after all these centuries—that went over a stream to a dirt path leading up a steep incline. We passed mutated brambles and a melted billboard advertising the “new Vault 111–opening soon!” Then we reached a chain link fence where a group of grim skeletons laid, desperate to break into the entrance. 

At the top of the hill was an open field with rusted military and construction vehicles scattered around. Blue disappeared into a metal booth and pressed some buttons. A low rumble emanated from the earth. Dirt and pebbles danced off the ground, centered around a previously invisible metal platform shaped like a massive gear.

“Come on, we’re going down.” She grabbed my arm and led me to the middle of the gear. With a sudden lurch, the gear began sinking. An elevator!

Blue pointed towards the horizon to the south before it rose out of view. “That’s where the first bomb fell in Boston. We all saw it, and we were brought down right before the blast wave hit us. You could feel the heat and see the air scorching above us, before the Vault sealed itself.”

I jotted this down in my notepad. It chilled me whenever I heard vivid firsthand accounts from survivors. The only other accounts came from ghouls who were alive during that time, and every one remembered where they were when the bombs fell. To recall the exact moment that the Great War began in Boston—it must have been terrifying.

We descended deep below the surface. The elevator screeched to a halt when it reached the bottom. The large bay doors slid open and we exited the elevator, climbing up the stairs to the entrance. A second Vault door, with the familiar upright rolling gear, laid open.

Inside, dangling from the Vault door’s control panel, was the access key. We were lucky; no one else had ventured in here to reseal the Vault.

Blue yanked the key from the control panel in disgust and affixed it to its permanent home, the empty port under her Pip-Boy. 

I shrugged. “Hey, at least we got it now, Blue.”

Thinking that our mission was complete, I turned towards the exit, before realizing that Blue had continued walking down the abandoned gangway. I raced back to catch up with Blue. I jogged past the processing area, now guarded by the lonely skeletons of the former Vault staff. I shuddered to think what fate befell them.

I followed Blue to the Overseer’s office, distinguished by its oversized crescent-shaped desk. I logged into the Overseer’s computer and perused the logs. The whole story of Vault 111, the experiments, the atrocities, the staff uprising, all unfolded before me. I recorded the Vault’s sordid history in my notepad for posterity.

Meanwhile, Blue went to a storage area behind a security gate. It sounded like she was fiddling with a lock.

“Hey Blue, maybe this is none of my business, but what are we doing here anyway? I thought we just needed the key.”

“Oh sorry—I also came back for this.”

I glanced at the wall-mounted display case Blue was prying open. Inside was a strange weapon covered in frost. I dug through the computer logs and found an entry for one of the Overseer’s personal projects. A... Cryo-lator?

“What’s that, some sort of freeze ray?”

“Something like that.” Blue grunted in frustration as her bobby pin snapped. She readied another one and threaded it into the lock. I admired her tenacity and patience for picking these tricky locks. I watched her work from behind, my eyes lingering a little too long. I quickly turned away when she glanced back.

I played it off. “You planning on making ice cubes or something? I bet you could make a fortune in the Commonwealth. Not exactly a lot of working refrigerators around here.”

“That's not a bad idea,” she chuckled. “We could charge per cube. Think of all the caps we’d make. But no. I was planning to use it on the people who did this to my family.”

“Like an eye for an eye?”

“Yup.”

“Oh. I guess you like your revenge served cold.”

Blue laughed at my lame joke. She stopped to wipe her brow, then jiggled the lock again. With a satisfying click, the display case swung open.

_“There it is.”_ She lifted out her prize and practiced aiming it. The Cryolator looked oversized and heavy in her hands, condensation billowing from its muzzle. Blue stashed it away in a duffle bag.

“Hey Piper, want a tour before we go?”

We exited the Overseer’s office and walked through the staff barracks, where remnants of the uprising could be found in the bullet holes and blast marks on the walls. It seemed that frozen Vault Dwellers weren’t the only victims of Vault 111.

As we went deeper, we passed a closed door with a big window. I wiped the frosted glass and peered inside. Row after row of cryogenic storage pods, straight out of a science fiction magazine. And, people inside them?

“You don’t need to look. They’re all dead.”

“Oh God. Who were they?”

“Unlucky neighbors from Lexington and Concord.”

Blue wasn’t kidding in her interview when she said she was frozen. She had left out the part about the whole neighborhood being frozen as well. Frozen to death.

I had visited Vaults before and covered them in the paper. Each one was different, and equally twisted in their own way. The last one I visited was a birther colony, dedicated to churning out as many Vault dwellers as possible while expanding the Vault deeper underground. Still I had never seen a Vault quite like this. For one, the layout was smaller. It had a focused mission: keeping the local neighborhood on ice.

We entered the last bay of cryo pods. I surmised this was where Blue had emerged from ice. The temperature fell drastically below 30 degrees. I had never felt so cold, having grown up in a balmy post-apocalyptic climate. The chill cut straight through my trench coat. I pulled my scarf over my face to fight frostbite.

Blue pointed at a computer terminal near the bay’s entrance. “Go check it out.”

I hopped onto the terminal. On it was a full roster of the cryo pods’ inhabitants. All deceased. Cause of death: asphyxiation due to life support malfunction.

In the corner of my eye, I noticed Blue leaning her head against one cryo pod at the end of the bay. Her hands scraped against the frosted glass porthole. 

It took me a moment to realize that there was a man behind the glass. 

Blue and frozen, with dark blood stains on his chest.

I gasped. “Oh my God, Blue, is that... Who I think it is?”

She nodded, not looking at me. She just stared at the cold steel floor. Her hair hung down, obscuring her face. Her body sagged, her arms clinging to the lifeless cryo pod.

It suddenly dawned on me. Blue had never told me the whole story. Nate didn’t just die in the Vault, suffocating like the other residents. He was murdered. Shot dead.

“You ok?”

Blue shook her head, still looking down. I could see the rage and grief in her face.

The reality of Blue’s tragic story finally hit me. It was one thing to interview her from a safe distance in Diamond City. When I first met Blue, her story seemed like the perfect thing to sell papers. I had been reporting long enough to understand that there really were sick and twisted people out here, who conspired to do awful things to ordinary people in the middle of a nuclear apocalypse. But to come face to face with Vault 111: the cryo chambers, the dead neighbors lured here on a false promise of safety, the callous disregard for people’s lives for the sake of science. The murder of her beloved husband Nate. The missing baby Shaun. It was all so overwhelming.

“Oh Blue. I’m so sorry.” I walked over to Blue and put a hand on her shoulders. She was shaking, trying to hold back the tears. 

I began to regret publishing the interview. This was such a private thing, this grief for a lost husband and despair for a lost son. And I had put it on the front page of _Publick Occurrences_ for everyone to consume.

After a moment, Blue rested her head on my chest and embraced me. We hugged each other silently for a long while. I gave Blue as much time as she needed. 

Eventually, Blue straightened up and wiped her tears. “Come on. We’ve got work to do.”

My heart ached as we separated. I wanted to hold her forever, to make her pain go away. To tell her that somehow, some way, things would be okay again someday. That the hope she expressed to me in our interview was not in vain. I was grateful that I could be here to help her, however limited my help was. 

I watched her move back towards Nate’s cryo pod. Blue wiped the frost from the glass so she could see Nate’s face one more time. She looked into Nate’s lifeless eyes stoically, communing with his lost spirit. 

She kissed the glass. “I _swear_ I’m going to get those bastards, Nate. For you and for Shaun.”

Blue and I headed for the exit. She stopped at the top of the steps and looked back at the frozen crypt. 

“You know, Piper, part of me feels horrible leaving everyone like this. If we weren’t struggling so much, I would find a way to give everyone a proper burial.”

“Well, it might be the proper thing to do someday, when the time is right,” I replied. “But you can’t do that when you’re constantly fighting for survival. I hate to say this, but they’re already gone. We can't help them. If it makes you feel better, the Commonwealth is full of unburied corpses. From the bombs, I mean...and from people and mutants killing each other...on a daily basis.” 

Ugh, of all the times to put my foot in my mouth... “Sorry, I’m making things worse.”

Blue shook her head. “No, you’re right. When the time is right, we can pay proper respects. I just hope Nate can forgive me.” 

A dark thought crossed her mind. “Besides, they’re already under ground. The Vault is their tomb.” 

…

“It should have been me.”

Blue and I had hiked back from Vault 111 to Sanctuary before sunset. We were sitting on Blue’s couch, staring at her ruined turntable stereo and television. I was still trying to process what I had seen. The rows of cryo pods filled with frozen bodies. Nate trapped in his own pod, shot in the heart.

“Blue, don’t…”

“No, it should have been me. The day the bombs fell, Codsworth called us here to the living room, to the TV. The anchorman, he’s a real propagandist hack most days. But that day, he looked so shellshocked as he reported that bombs had fallen in New York and DC. That’s when I knew this wasn’t a drill.”

“Everything happened so fast. Nate just happened to be the one who grabbed Shaun from his crib. Vault-Tec and the military were already on scene to direct us to the Vault. So we just ran. I didn’t even look back to see who made it out, or who got blocked at the gate. Not that it mattered, in the end.”

“Nate held onto Shaun the whole time. I thought as long as Nate had him, we’d all be ok. Then they…tricked us into getting into those pods. Said they were ‘decompression chambers’ we had to use before going deeper into the Vault. Instead, we were frozen.”

“Blue, you couldn’t have known. That was Vault-Tec’s plan the whole time.” 

“Yeah. We were just an experiment to these sadistic people. Still, if I had been the one to grab Shaun…”

“…then you would have been the one shot and killed.” I finished, grabbing her hand. “And Nate, who knows what would have happened to Nate.”

“I know.” Blue’s eyes watered, and her voice cracked. “And now I’m the last one left. I’m all alone.” Tears streamed down her face.

“No, Blue. Shaun’s still out there. You have new friends who are helping you. And—I’m here to help you. You’re not alone.” 

Instinctively, I cradled Blue’s face and brushed away her tears. Blue gazed at me with sad eyes. Silence fell between us.

Suddenly, Blue reached out and kissed me. I was caught off guard by her unexpected gesture as Blue pressed her mouth against mine. She pulled me in closer, knocking my hat off. I kissed her back. I reveled in the feel of her soft lips, the warmth of her tongue tentatively touching mine. I fell deeper into her kiss, and an urgent aching bloomed within me. I pressed against her and ran my fingers in her hair. She wrapped her arms around me in a heated embrace. 

I lost track of time as we kissed each other in the twilight.

Then, Blue’s eyes flew wide open. She broke off the kiss as suddenly as it began. Remembering herself, she shot up from the couch and bolted out the door.

I laid on the couch, disheveled, aroused, and confused. I was stunned by her abrupt departure. _What just happened?_

Gathering my wits, I leapt up, grabbed my hat and ran after her.

“BLUE!”

But she had already strode halfway to the south gate, wiping her eyes against her sleeve. Strong winds whipped overhead as ominous storm clouds gathered. The sound of distant thunder muffled my shouting. Or maybe she pretended not to hear me.

“BLUE, WAIT!” 

I raced down the cul de sac towards her. The winds grew stronger, and I was blown slightly off course. Blue shouted something to the guard, then swung open the gate and sprinted over the bridge. 

I couldn’t make it to the gate. The storm clouds turned an angry yellow, then a white flash blinded everything. 

Radiation storm! Blue was caught outside! I had to get to her...

“Piper, no!” Preston appeared out of nowhere and stopped me. “We have to get inside!”

“What about Blue?!” I shouted. “We have to go after her!”

“If we go after her, we’ll all be cooked! She’ll have to fend for herself. Come on, we have to get out of this storm!”

Preston forced the issue by dragging me in the other direction. I relented and followed him. He pointed me towards the back of a house. Along the way, he rang an alarm bell to signal the settlers.

The flashes were intensifying. Irradiated lightning crackled above, setting off my pocket Geiger counter. The settlers raced towards the back of the house. Sally, the female ghoul from Goodneighbor, grabbed my hand and led me to the backyard. The doors of a hidden root cellar parted open, and the settlers and I climbed down to the basement.

The settlers, Preston, and Codsworth all made it inside. Ten of us were crammed inside a fallout shelter built for one. It was dimly lit with lightbulbs powered by a hidden generator. We stood like sardines around the walls or squatted on the floor. 

There was no telling how long the storm would last. Some of the settlers asked about Blue, and Preston assured them that she would be alright. 

The gate guard arrived last and shuttered the entrance. “Sir, the General said she was heading to the Red Rocket Garage,” the gate guard said. “She said she’d be back soon, and ordered everyone to wait here.”

“That’s just across the bridge,” Preston thought aloud. “There’s a cave underneath she can shelter in. She’ll probably hide out there till the storm passes.”

“Probably?! Preston, we could have gotten her back if we went after her!” I argued, utterly beside myself.

“And if we did, we would have put ourselves at risk from the storm.” Preston replied. “Piper, the General can take care of herself.”

I wouldn’t have it. “How can you be so calm about this? Blue—your General—is out there, alone, and she’s not in a good frame of mind. You just left her out there to die!”

“Piper, I’m worried too, but please, have some faith in her. The General saved all of us when she was fresh out of the Vault. She’s helped other settlements get back on their feet and convinced them to join our cause. I traveled with her long before you two met—I know what she’s capable of. She would not want us to risk our lives and resources unless it was absolutely necessary. We will look for her when it’s safe to do so.”

Preston was talking to me, but he was really addressing the other settlers, who were murmuring amongst themselves about the situation. They wondered what I meant about her frame of mind, but Preston reframed my statement to be about her concern for everyone’s well-being.

I sat down fuming, but silently regretted venting my frustration. I should have known better than to drive a wedge between the settlers and Preston. I had seen from past experience how conflict and misunderstanding could fester and tear apart a settlement. But if Preston was upset at our public argument, he didn’t show it. His calm demeanor put the other settlers at ease.

The controversy soon died down, and the settlers made small talk. Some discussed expanding the fallout shelter to be less confining. Debates ensued over how safe it was to dig under the foundation, concerns over mole rats, and whether to broach the subject with Blue about taking over Vault 111. 

Having seen the Vault’s horrors firsthand, I was tempted to insert myself into the debate. But Preston firmly quashed the calls to use Vault 111 as a storm shelter. “General’s orders,” he said. I guessed that he knew Blue’s backstory.

I worried silently about Blue. I was confused about what happened between us. I hoped she was okay.

...

An hour passed, by which time everyone was sitting down crammed together. It was getting hot from too many bodies in one place. Some napped while others rocked themselves or stared silently.

Codsworth, who had prudently switched off his burner and parked himself on the floor, broke the silence. 

“Well, then,” he piped cheerfully in his English butler accent, “Who’s up for a game of checkers?”

Sheffield raised his hand. “I am!”

It was a long, uncomfortable night of checkers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I first wrote this chapter in 2016! It only took me four years to connect it with the beginning of the story, lol. Happy to finally able to publish this on AO3.


	9. After the Storm

By 6am, the radiation storm died down. The settlers and I clamored out of the cellar’s confined quarters to survey the damage. Broken tree branches, dust and debris were strewn across the street. The dry air, charged by the radiation storm, crackled with static electricity.

Some of the corn and tato plants had blown down, and the farming settlers saved the plants they could and began replanting the ones that had been lost. Sturges started prioritizing repairs for the heavy equipment, defense turrets, and work stations that were damaged. Sheffield carried Codsworth up the stairs until he had enough clearance to fire his burners. 

I emerged from the cellar, exhausted from the lack of sleep while crouching on the cellar floor. I took a few moments to stretch and cool off outside. Then I wandered back to Blue’s house. It was empty.

I stood outside the front door, thinking about the night before. Working through Blue’s grief, then our unexpected kiss, before she took off. If only I had stopped her...

“Piper.” I looked behind and saw Preston. He had circles under his eyes from the lack of sleep, yet he stood tall and dignified in his crisp militia coat. “I’m going to check on the others, then we can go look for the General.”

I nodded. “Preston. I’m sorry about before. I was out of line.”

“It’s ok, Piper. Let’s talk about it on the road.”

I waited by Blue’s house while Preston assessed the situation in Sanctuary. After a few minutes, he hurried back. 

“Are you ready to go?” he asked. 

“Yeah, let’s go check out the garage now. I’d rather know sooner than later if she made it there.”

“Fair enough. Let’s go.”

We walked together past the south gate, while I resumed my apology. “Preston, I’m sorry about last night. I shouldn’t have argued with you like that in front of the others. I grew up in a settlement myself. My dad was in the local militia. So I know that group dynamics can be...tricky if you’re not careful.”

“You grew up in a settlement? Where?”

“Just outside the Commonwealth. I moved to Diamond City with my sister Nat a few years ago, after my dad died. He found out his militia captain was plotting with raiders to sack the town, so the captain killed him.”

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that,” Preston replied. “That’s an awful thing to deal with at a young age.”

“Thanks. It was rough, but Nat and I got through it. And, I understand what you went through in Quincy. So what I’m saying is, I know how quickly things can unravel when people are afraid. And I should have known better than to vent my frustration like that in front of everyone. I’m sorry.”

“Thanks Piper. It’s ok, but I appreciate that. And I get that you were frustrated. If we could have, we’d have gone after the General right away.”

“I know. It’s ok.”

“May I ask, what happened to the General that made her run off?”

“We, uh... Blue and I went to Vault 111. I think that seeing her dead husband and neighbors stirred up a lot of...feelings that she’s still dealing with.” I omitted the part about us making out on her sofa.

“I see. The General’s been upfront about not wanting anyone to go to the Vault. She told me what happened in there, so I understand why. I’ve respected her wishes and made sure others do as well. I’m surprised you two went back there.”

“Believe me, she didn’t want to, but we needed to get some things she left behind. Namely a Vault key that we need to free my friend Nick.”

“I see. Well, we’re here.”

We arrived at the Red Rocket Garage and found the garage door open. Blue was inside welding a patchwork suit of Power Armor, goggles over her eyes and grease across her face. She stood when she saw us, propping the goggles onto her forehead.

“Hey! Are you guys ok?” Blue sounded nonchalant, although her eyes lingered on me for a moment.

“We’re all fine, thanks,” I said, unsure what to think.

“We’re fine, General. Everyone in Sanctuary took shelter in the cellar. Some minor damage to the crops and structures, but nothing we can’t fix. Are you ok, General?”

“I’m ok. I’m sorry I couldn’t get back. I was already across the bridge when the storm hit, so I thought it was safer to hunker down in the cave under the garage. I’m glad everyone made it.” 

Blue turned to me. “I’m sorry if I scared everyone.”

“Well, it was scary, but I’m glad you’re ok,” I said.

If Preston caught any of the subtext, he didn’t let on. “General, do you have a moment? Another settlement needs our help.” 

Preston and Blue conferred off to the side while I looked around the garage. Blue had set up a makeshift workshop, complete with a Power Armor station, a smelting station for weapons and armor repairs, and some magazine racks. And in the corner, a stand with...collectible bobbleheads ?

“Ok, I’ll check on them as soon as I can,” Blue promised Preston. “Tell the others I’m heading back to Boston with Piper to resume the search for my son. Keep fortifying the defenses while recruiting more help. And ask Sturges to check this Power Armor when he has time. I think the storm fried its circuits. Radio me if you need anything.”

“Ok, good luck, General.” Preston gave Blue a little salute, then turned to me. “You listen to her now. She’ll keep you out of trouble.”

“Outta trouble? Pffft, where’s the fun in that?” As soon as I said it, I wondered why I was being sarcastic with Preston. Maybe Blue’s presence was making me nervous. Preston gave us wayward glances, but said nothing as he turned to leave.

We watched him walk back alone on the road to Sanctuary. I slowly turned to Blue. She hugged her elbow and looked at me shyly.

“Soooo...”

We both tried to speak at the same time, then said each other’s name at once, then apologized at once. Neither of us could start the conversation.

“You go first,” I managed at last.

“Uh, right. Ok... Piper, I’m sorry about earlier. For the, uh, thing on the couch.” She blushed and looked away, not able to directly bring up the kissing.

“No I’m sorry,” I said. “It was, uh, totally unprofessional of me. I should have known better than to take advantage of a grieving widow.” Should I have been sorry? Even though she was the one who initiated the kiss? But I did kiss back, which definitely crossed some boundaries...

“No it’s my fault. I—I’m so embarrassed. I never do anything like that. Never. It’s just—these last few weeks have been so crazy for me. With my son going missing, and _my husband_...” she trailed off, making a point to emphasize her late spouse.

“I get it, you’re in a vulnerable place right now,” I said, trying to soothe her nerves. “It’s just stress. I don’t think any less of you. Don’t worry about it. It happened, and we can move on. It doesn’t mean anything.”

“Right... Well, it won’t happen again, I promise.” I felt a twinge of disappointment, but ignored it. “And if you’re uncomfortable at all with traveling with me, I’ll understand. You’ve already helped me out so much...”

“Wha—no not at all! I said I’d help you, and I’m standing by my word. It was just a spur of the moment thing. We don’t have to dwell on it. Unless you don’t want me to stay...”

“No, I’d love it if you stayed. To help, that is. Thank you. I’m glad we could talk it out.” 

She flashed her adorable smile at me, and I melted inside. Then, I felt a pang of sadness that we wouldn’t be so close ever again.

...

Once we set out on the road again, things weren’t the same. We didn’t talk as much. A wall of silence surrounded Blue. We made small talk, but the conversations went nowhere.

On our first night heading back to town, we camped in an abandoned outpost and settled into separate sleeping bags. I closed my eyes and thought back to our kiss in the house. The memory of that kiss, and how she felt pressed against my lips and my body, filled my chest with a satisfying glow. 

I tried to comfort myself with the thought that, if that was as far as things ever got between us, I’d be ok with that. 

Then my gut, my truth instinct that could spot lies from a mile away, roared back at me. 

_Lie_. A sweet, comforting lie, but still a lie.

Fine, I told my gut. You win. 

Forced to acknowledge it, I turned to gaze at Blue, tucked into her sleeping bag on the other side of the room. I thought I caught a glimpse of her looking away.

...

The next morning, Blue was sitting outside the outpost on a ledge, holding Nate’s dog tags. She was staring out into the distance.

_Another nightmare_ , I thought. _Poor Blue’s a mess. She’s still grieving_.

Things were still quiet between us as we continued our journey. 

I don’t do well with silence. It drives me crazy. Before Sanctuary, Blue had become a close friend, who I felt comfortable sharing personal things. She had a refreshing and totally different perspective from anyone I knew. And Blue was starting to open up in ways that surprised me. But now, something was missing. Her voice, our banter, our long talks about everything and nothing. I felt hollow.

Blue took a slight detour to a settlement to check on their needs. I hung around the back, making small talk with the farmers. But mostly I sulked. I didn’t understand why. I tried composing the profile about Sanctuary in my notepad, but nothing was coming together.

I thought about leaving her company, after we saved Nick and he agreed to take Blue’s case. But that would mean breaking my promise to help her. I was torn. I just didn’t think it would be this hard to be around her. 

Blue finished up her duties with the settlers. Then I overheard her asking them a question. 

“Oh one more thing... I’m looking for my son Shaun. He was kidnapped from my Vault when he was a baby. Dark hair and eyes like mine, but slightly lighter complexion. He may be a toddler or a young child by now. You wouldn’t happen to have any information, would you?”

The settlers shook their heads. “No, sorry, we don’t. We’ll keep an eye out, though.”

“Oh ok,” Blue replied. “If you do find out something, please radio the Minutemen in Sanctuary. They’ll relay the message to me.” Blue must have expected this answer, but she looked dejected all the same.

The whole conversation broke my heart. It was the one reason, the only reason, Blue was out here busting her butt for other people. It was a daunting, needle-in-a-haystack quest, but Blue wasn’t giving up. 

How could I have been so selfish? I had to snap out of it and refocus. Everything else, including this unspoken ‘thing’ between us, was a distraction.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unrelated personal note: I've been posting a little more frequently than I planned to ever since the COVID-19 crisis has been hitting closer to home in the U.S. At the time of this posting, I'm sheltering in place in my own "Vault" (aka home) and writing to keep my mind off things. This is just fanfic, but figure every little distraction helps while we all weather this thing. Stay safe and wash your hands, Vault Dwellers.


	10. Waiting for Thoreau

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: Child abandonment, PTSD

We left the settlement and hiked in silence again, until we marched into the muddy bank of a half-filled pond. In the distance, I spotted a sign marking the area as Walden Pond. 

“You know the guy who owned this place wrote the book _On Civil Disobedience_ ,” I remarked. Like, literally.”

“Oh, you know Thoreau’s work?” Blue asked. Her face lit up. 

“Uh, yeah, a little. What about you?”

“Only from what I had to read in pre-law. Do you agree with his premise?”

“That one prioritizes one’s conscience over unjust laws? Well it’s hard to talk about in the abstract, since there are no laws here to rebel against. Except maybe for McDonough’s ‘no ghouls’ policy.”

“Hmm, good point.”

“What about you? From a lawyer’s perspective.”

“Hmm,” Blue scratched her chin. “If we’re talking about society before the War, the lawyer in me would say, ‘That’s ridiculous. You can’t just break laws or not pay taxes just because you don’t agree with everything the government is doing. That would justify anarchy and cause chaos.’”

Blue stopped walking and became more animated. She was on a roll—evidently, I had hit a nerve. “But the citizen in me would say, ‘It depends.’ You have to look at the injustices that Thoreau was protesting against, like slavery and war. My time was chaotic. We had protests over the war with China, food shortages, the economy, social inequality. Civil disobedience—and government oppression—happening everywhere. Some civil disobedience actions were justified to protest the failure of the government to its people. My time wasn’t the utopia depicted by the pre-War advertisements... Wait, why are you staring at me like that?”

“Was I? I guess I like when you talk philosophy to me.” Gawd, I’m flirting again. Does she even realize?

“Sorry. Once you get me going, I just can’t stop.” Blue smirked. Oh come on. She must know. 

“Ahem, uh, how do you know so much about philosophy anyway? Thoreau’s writing is pretty advanced.”

“You mean, how did I get so learned? I can read, you know,” I teased.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to sound patronizing,” Blue said. “I was just curious about how you were educated, given the shortage of schools in the Commonwealth.”

“True, there are hardly any schools. Nat’s lucky to be at the one in Diamond City. The robot teachers have vast library archives saved in their memory. My settlement had a school too, but I learned mostly from my parents. They wanted me to read everything, to help rebuild society or whatever. Especially my mom. She was a big history buff. I named _Publick Occurrences_ after Boston’s first paper. Read about it in one of Mom’s old books.”

“Your mom? You haven’t mentioned her much.”

“Yeah. She loved us enough, but she wasn’t the most selfless person. She’s where me and Nat get our independent streak. In fact, she was so independent, she walked out on us.”

“What? She left you and Nat?”

“Yeah, she did. Long story short, she didn’t agree with what Dad was doing in the militia. There may have been other things between them that I didn’t know about. But, rather than try to work it out, she left.”

“So that’s what you meant when you said she was ‘out of the picture,’ after your dad died.”

“Yeah, she left a few months before he was killed.”

“Damn. I’m sorry Piper.”

“It’s fine. Not everyone out here can handle the constant stress of fighting for survival. It takes its toll. She thought my dad was taking too much of a risk staying in the militia. So she chose to protect herself by leaving. To not be around when shit hit the fan.”

“But she hurt you and Nat too,” Blue remarked sadly.

I shrugged. “Different times, Blue. She probably thought we’d be ok with Dad. If she had known...well who knows. Maybe that’s why I stick to my principles so much. Sometimes they’re all you’ve got when everyone else lets you down.”

“That’s—so sad,” Blue said.

“Sorry, you must have caught me in a mood. Weren’t we just talking about philosophy?”

“Will you two quit your yappin’? You’re messing with my trainsdentalism!”

We whirled around and drew our rifles. A leather-clad raider with a skull tattooed on his face ambled down a hill towards us. 

“Your what?” I demanded.

“My trainsdentalism! You’re disturbing my self-reliance by trespassing on my pond!”

“Trainsdental—oh you mean transcendentalism?” I corrected.

“Yeah, that’s what I said!” The raider waved a pipe pistol at us, threatening to attack.

“Wait don’t shoot!” Blue held up her hands. “We’re fellow philosophers! We came to see the _humble cabin of Thoreau_.” Blue emphasized ‘humble cabin of Thoreau’ for dramatic effect.

“You know about Thoreau? Well why didn’t you say so?” The raider put away his gun. “The name’s Tweez,” Tweez extended a dirt-caked hand, which Blue reluctantly shook. “Come, let’s discuss the works of the ‘great Thoreau.’”

...

For the next two hours, we sat on the dirt floor of Thoreau’s cabin. Tweez and his fellow raider Bear talked philosophy with us while shooting up various chems.

“...So this guy made sure he had everything he needed before he started his camping trip in his little shack,” Tweez said, woozy from a high. “Double checked his list and everything. And that’s why they call it—wait for it—‘being Thoreau.’”

“Hahahahaha!” Blue slapped her knee and laughed maniacally, louder and more forced than she needed to. “Whew, being Thoreau. Gooood one, Tweez.”

“Oh! Will you look at the time,” I said abruptly. I stood and yanked Blue up with me. “We need to go and be self-reliant ourselves.”

“You ladies are alright. Come visit anytime,” Tweez cooed. “Just don’t let Walter or Whiplash catch you.”

“Here, take a t-shirt. On the house.” Bear tossed me a t-shirt that said, ‘Official t-shirt of transcendentalism.’ 

“Thanksgottagobye!” I shouted as I pushed Blue out the door.

...

We continued our southward trek until we found a small abandoned hunting shack nearby to camp for the night. The door was unlocked. We swept the shack for traps, then put down our things. It had one room, with a small hearth set in the middle of the floor. The previous owner left behind tools and moldy food. Perhaps they set out for a hunt one day and never made it back.

Blue and I sat on our sleeping bags facing each other, while reflecting on the day.

“You know, Blue, it was fun discussing philosophy with you. And a couple of bloodthirsty raiders.”

“Yeah, it was, wasn’t it? What a random encounter.”

I poked a stick to stoke the small fire that burned in the hearth. “You’ve been so quiet lately. Since...” 

“...since Sanctuary?” Blue finished.

I nodded. “Yeah. Since that.”

Blue blushed. “I—I’m sorry Piper. I think I’ve been really confused by the whole thing. I’ve been trying to process it in my head. I didn’t mean to distance myself from you.”

“Well, maybe we need to talk about it out in the open then. We kind of talked about it the day after, but we didn’t resolve anything.”

“Yeah, sorry. That was so awkward.” 

Blue took a swig of water as she gathered her thoughts. “Ok, here’s the thing. It’s clear we’ve become fast friends. It’s crazy how close we’ve gotten in such a short amount of time. And I don’t want to do anything to jeopardize our friendship. But now it’s complicated. You and me, we—sorry. I can’t put this any other way except directly.”

“That’s fine, I prefer being direct. It gets at the truth faster.”

“Ok... The thing is, until I was sitting on the couch in my house with you, I wasn’t fully conscious of the fact that I was attracted to you. But then I acted impulsively without asking you or anything. It was horrible that I did that, and I’m sorry.”

“Well, I wouldn’t call it horrible...” I half joked, “...but that’s besides the point. The point is, you don’t need to be sorry. You didn’t need to ask permission. I kissed you back, so I crossed a line too.”

“You did? Well, I wasn’t sure at the time, but that’s...new information.” Blue mulled over this revelation. “Huh.”

“Look, I’d be lying if I said I never thought about you that way too,” I said. “But that still doesn’t change the fact that you still need to deal with Nate’s death...”

“...and other things,” Blue added. “But primarily, Nate, yeah.”

Other things? Color me intrigued. But that would have to wait. We had to work through bigger issues first.

“Blue, can I make an observation? And don’t take this the wrong way. Losing your spouse of 12 years is a huge loss. Huge. We have to acknowledge that. But other than the one time back in Boston Commons, you haven’t talked about Nate much. Why?”

Blue shifted on her sleeping bag. “It’s not that I don’t want to talk about him. It’s just that I don’t own the monopoly on human suffering here. I mean, the world ended. You, me, everyone’s still dealing with its aftermath.”

I shrugged. “Yeah, so what if everybody has baggage? It doesn’t mean you can’t talk about yours.”

Blue hesitated. “There’s just so much to say. And I don’t want to bore someone I like with stories about my dead husband.”

I leaned in. “Try me. You’d be surprised.”

“Ok, if you insist...” Blue took a deep breath and shared her thoughts.

“I had a realization that, even though Nate and I were married for 12 years, we didn’t really spend a lot of time together. Maybe only half of that time collectively. He was deployed as soon as we got married, and he was constantly overseas on tours of duty. I was proud of him serving, but it was hard. Like a long distance relationship that lasted for years. The rest of the time I waited at home, working as a public defender, but I was terrible at it.”

“When he retired, I thought, ‘Finally! Our life together can begin.’ And for two years, we had a home life. I got pregnant and had a baby, and we raised Shaun together. Then—boom. The world ends. I mean, that’s it? It’s not fair, and it’s not even about me. It’s just—Nate gave up so much for his country, and yet he never got the family life that he wanted. That he deserved. It’s so unfair.”

Blue gazed at the floor. “But the war was unfair to everyone. Everyone died. There are billions of tragic stories. So why does my story, or Nate’s story, outweigh everyone else’s? Does it even matter how or why he died? When measured against all these other deaths? It’s maddening.”

I crawled and sat next to Blue. “Yes, there’s tragedy and death everywhere, at a scale that’s impossible for anyone to wrap their heads around. And it’s only natural for people to value their personal needs more than a stranger’s. Take it from a reporter who covers these Institute kidnappings, only to watch people turn a blind eye to their neighbor’s suffering.”

“But this isn’t a case of you overvaluing your own personal story. Nate’s death does matter, Blue, and here’s why. Nate didn’t die from an undiscriminating atom bomb. He was targeted and killed. Shaun was targeted and kidnapped. And you were targeted and left behind. It’s no accident that you were the only one left alive, while all the other pods were sabotaged. And this isn’t ancient history, it happened recently. So the people who did this are still out there.” 

Yes, that was it. Blue and her family were deliberately targeted. There was no other explanation for why Blue and her entire family were the only ones treated differently from the other Vault dwellers. But why? If only we had a clue to their motives... 

Without thinking, I blurted out, “Do you remember anything from what happened? If someone said something about why they left you, or why they took Shaun?”

Blue abruptly turned away from me and hugged her knees. 

“I—I can’t remember. I can’t even think about what happened without getting a panic attack.”

Dammit Piper! You and your big mouth!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't know about Walden Pond as a Fallout 4 location until watching this video by Oxhorn: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6jnTcvWMXLc. IMO it would have been much better if you could talk to Tweez and Bear, rather than having to kill them!
> 
> Re: Piper's dialogue, I was always puzzled by her first affinity dialogue when she states that after her dad died, her mom was "out of the picture." To me that implies her mom didn't die, so what happened? So I took a stab at figuring out what it could be.


	11. A Break in Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: PTSD. Also NSFW

Damn my stupid mouth! I kicked myself for asking what Blue remembered about Shaun’s kidnapping. In my zeal to piece together the mystery, I had failed to account for Blue’s state of mind.

I put my arm around her shoulders. “I’m sorry, Blue, I shouldn’t have asked that. I wasn’t thinking.”

Blue didn’t say anything at first. She sat immobilized, then tucked her head between her knees.

“I—I _literally_ freeze. I can’t move. I feel a huge weight on my chest, and I struggle to breathe. When I first left the Vault, I’d wake up every night like this, and I’d claw my way out of the dream. And when I try to think back on what happened, to analyze the facts like I was trained to do...I can’t do it.” 

Blue’s voice cracked. “Instead, I go back to that place. It’s like I’m stuck. I’m stuck in that time, in that moment.”

Oh, Blue. “Do you still get those nightmares?” I asked warily.

“Yes.” Blue looked up at me. “Although for some reason, I haven’t had them as much since we started hanging out. But definitely after we went back to Vault 111, the nightmares came back.”

“My God, Blue.” I wrapped my arms around her from behind and hugged her tight. “I didn’t realize these nightmares were so bad. I’m sorry we went back there. If there was another way...”

She held my arms and leaned her head against me. “No, there was no other way. We had to go back, to save Nick. Because I need answers to even have a chance of getting past this. But I can’t...I can’t remember what happened! I just _feel_ it...”

Blue lost her composure and fell apart in my arms. She sobbed uncontrollably, covering her eyes. I maneuvered around in front to catch her and pulled her into me. She wailed deep into my chest, her anguish boundless and unending. Her breaths heaved up and down in convulsing waves.

After some time, I shifted and put my hands on her shoulders. I looked deep into her sorrowful brown eyes. 

“Blue... Nora—listen to me. We’re going to figure this out, okay?” Blue was jolted from her crying, startled by me using her real name. 

“You don’t have to do all the heavy lifting,” I continued. “We’re going to find help. Tomorrow, we’ll get Nick, and he’ll help us figure this out.”

Blue’s face crumbled. “But what if we’re too late? What if he’s already dead? We’ve lost so much time going back and forth already!”

“No way,” I asserted. “Nick’s strong as steel, and way smarter than those idiot gangsters. He ain’t going down, I guarantee it. And I’ve got ideas about other places we can reach out to for help.”

I lifted her chin. “It’s not over, Blue. Not by a long shot. Let’s just take it one day at a time. I’m here for you, okay? No matter what.”

And before my inner doubts had a chance to protest, I kissed her.

...

This wasn’t supposed to happen. I wasn’t supposed to be the one initiating. I was supposed to be following her lead.

My principle has always been to do what’s right. But doing what’s right meant first knowing what’s right. And knowing what’s right first meant knowing what’s true. But what do I do, when two opposite things were equally true? 

Was it right to kiss her? 

Normally, I was the one with the readymade excuses on why something wouldn’t work out. _I’m no good._ Or why this was the wrong time. _She’s still grieving._ Or why going too far was a bad idea. _She’s traumatized._ Because my past mistakes were a result of me going too far at the wrong time.

I didn’t know what I was going to do, until the moment presented itself. And it became clear that, despite the many reasons to not act, there was no other option, no other choice, no other way. No other way but forward.

And so, when Blue had collapsed in my arms, when her confidence and strength were gone, when her walls had completely eroded, and she was left broken, vulnerable, and afraid, there was no choice. Even if it meant crossing a line I could never turn back from. Even if it meant letting my guard down. Even if it meant possibly ruining everything. 

So I kissed her, because it was the only salve for her suffering that I could offer.

I kissed her softly to soothe her pain. Her mouth parted open to accept mine. Our tongues greeted each other, then intertwined to express our mutual desires. I tasted the salt on her lips that came from her stream of tears, pressed my face against her wet cheeks, and let her tears intermingle with mine.

She ran her hands behind my neck to pull me in closer. Before I knew it, I was laying her down on top of a sleeping bag, our mouths still locked together in a fiery embrace. She loosened my scarf and pulled it off with one long tug. I straddled her and ran my hands over her Vault suit, pressing the leather against every curve of her body. Her form fitting suit hinted at her beauty underneath. She arched her back and gasped in response to my touch.

Blue’s labored breathing from a minute ago had slowed and changed to a more peaceful cadence. She untied the belt of my trench coat, which unfurled like a red leather cocoon draping around her. She reached under my coat and slid her hands up my back, then over my shirt, feeling the weight of my breasts. I involuntarily uttered a low growl. A glowing warmth bloomed within me, urging me to go further.

I broke off our long kiss and reached for the suit’s zipper near her neck. My breath ragged against her face, our noses touched as I slowly pulled the zipper down its long track, past her chest and abdomen, all the way down to her waistline. Her suit parted open, revealing a narrow swath of warm brown skin. I kissed her again and slid my hands underneath her suit to feel her breasts. She responded in kind by pulling up my shirt and running her hands over my body.

My heart pounded and I felt dizzy. I kissed her neck, then planted soft wet kisses down her sternum. I helped her take my coat off, and then she pulled my shirt off my back. I shivered from the exposure. A wave of euphoria swept over me. 

I laid on top of her and reached my hand into her suit. My fingers inched their way below her waist, deeper and deeper until they found a pulsating wetness. Blue cried out and braced herself against me. My fingers rolled gently but firmly in soothing circular strokes. I kissed her hard to muffle her cries. She thrust her hips in time with my stroking, and her heat and wetness grew, until at last she let out a prolonged cry of ecstasy.

Blue closed her eyes panting breathlessly, and I kissed her again as she came down from the afterglow. Sweat glistened on her exposed skin. 

After a brief respite, she stripped off her suit and undergarments. She tugged at my pants for me to do the same, and I obeyed. I bared myself before her. We were now both sitting on our knees, facing each other completely naked. Our bodies were illuminated by the flickering fire light of the hearth. 

Blue cradled my head in her hands and regarded me. Her eyes were softer, no longer filled with the anguish from earlier. There was something new in them. Resolve. Courage. Openness to the unknown. Her soulful gaze fixed on mine, and I fell headlong into her eyes.

She pulled me into a deep, stirring kiss. I wrapped my arms around her neck and fully embraced her. Her kiss poured into me, and I surrendered.

Blue reached in between my thighs and touched me in long, languid strokes. She smiled a bit through our kiss when she discovered I was already wet. She kept teasing me with slow, steady pressure, until I couldn’t take it any longer. I wedged my hand between her legs to part them, then I straddled her thigh, while lifting her up and inviting her to do the same.

I grinded against her, slowly at first, and Blue followed my lead. We hugged tighter until there was no space between us. The heat and sweat between us intensified into a raging inferno. Her kisses spilled over from my mouth onto my neck. I gripped her hair and threw my head back, feeling her pleasure coursing through me.

A dam broke between us, and we were untethered, free floating in this heady moment. 

Our eyes locked again. 

Lost in her eyes, we spiraled out of control into the depths of one another. 

Time slowed to a crawl as she kissed me again.

She took my breath away. 

She gripped my shoulders from behind and pulled me down, grinding me deeper. We continued to rock faster and faster against each other. Until finally, I unleashed a loud moan into her mouth, which moments later was joined by Blue’s own passionate cry.

We collapsed into a unceremonious heap on the floor soon after, our various limbs entangled together. I laid flat on my back and struggled to catch my breath. After a minute, Blue crawled over to lay her head on my shoulder. She brushed the hair off my forehead and peppered me with small joyful kisses. I kissed her back and nudged her forehead. Then I put my hand on her heart. It thrummed loudly in tune with mine.

Whatever happened after tonight, our lives would never be the same. My doubts and fears about the future could wait till tomorrow. The world could wait a little longer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soundtrack inspiration: “Afterlife” by Arcade Fire
> 
> Optional notes about the PTSD depiction at [https://velvet-helvetica.tumblr.com/post/613997424832348160/oh-now-i-remember-what-i-was-going-to-say-about](%E2%80%9C)


	12. My Bloody Valentine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: Slightly NSFW

“About time you two showed up.”

With Blue’s remote access key in place, Vault 114’s massive door wheeled open at last. It ejected a plume of wind and dust, as the air pressure equalized between the vault and subway. 

Nick Valentine, detective extraordinaire, stood on the gangway, cool and collected, with one hand on his hip. His signature trench coat and fedora had a few more bullet holes than I remembered the last time I saw him. Otherwise Nick looked as ugly as ever, grizzled and street smart, imbued with the wisdom of a lifetime of police work. 

His mechanical amber eyes flickered slightly as he studied Blue and me. Blue was taken aback as she saw Nick for the first time. She didn’t expect to meet a synth. I personally didn’t think much about Nick’s appearance anymore. But no doubt the sight of his synthetic skin covering half of his exposed metal endoskeleton took Blue by surprise.

“Oh, don’t worry about Skinny Malone and his gang. I saved you the trouble. I moved them somewhere the molerats could get ‘em. Grim, I know, but better than having their bodies stinkin’ up the joint.”

As the Vault door finished cycling open, we saw evidence of a prolonged firefight at the entrance and processing center: trails of bullet holes, scorch marks, and blood stains. Apparently this was where Skinny and his gang made their last stand. Somehow in the span of a week, Nick managed to pick them off one by one. Maybe he waited a few days till they were weakened by the lack of food. Then the rest were trapped here and blown up with improvised explosives that Nick rigged up.

“Nick Valentine, at your service.” Nick extended his hand, a fully articulated metal skeleton. Blue couldn’t help but stare as she shook his hand.

“Nora. But you can call me...whatever nickname you feel like giving me.”

“Ok, Kid,” Nick said. Blue rolled her eyes and shook her head ironically. “I was starting to worry you two forgot about me.”

“Hey, I said we’d get back in a week, give or take!” I retorted.

“This one give you much trouble?” Nick said to Blue, pointing an accusing thumb at me.

“Who Piper? Oh no, no trouble at all,” Blue answered, eying me sideways nervously.

“Ok good. Traveling with Piper’s not for the faint of heart. I’d know.”

“Niiiick. You always know just what to say,” I retorted. “By the way, what happened to that kidnapped girl you were tracking down?

“Who, Darla? Oh, that’s right, I almost forgot. You can come out now, Darla!”

A dark-haired vixen in sequins stepped out from the Security Office. She had a baseball bat in one hand and a Tommy gun in the other, which she propped on her shoulder gangster-style. She glared at Blue and me suspiciously.

“Who’re these two broads, Nick?”

“Friends of mine. Piper, Kid, meet Darla.”

“Pleasure,” Darla sneered. “Nick told me youse was gettin’ a key to spring us outta this tin can. Sure took your sweet time.”

“Oh, you know how it is, hiking up north,” I said. “It’s uh, easy to get sidetracked.”

“Sidetracked? I don’t even wanna know. Now Nick, about our deal...”

“A deal’s a deal. You’re free to go.”

”Good.” Darla carefully placed her stiletto heels in the Vault door track so as not to slip. Then she stepped out of the Vault and made a dramatic exit out of the subway station.

“And don’t forget to write your folks!” Nick called out to Darla as she left. “Sheesh, what a piece of work.”

“What’s with her?” I asked.

“Long story. Turns out she wasn’t kidnapped at all. She was Skinny Malone’s new flame. Once I killed enough of Skinny’s guys to reach her, I found out she was in cahoots with him. Which put me in a dilemma.”

“A dilemma? Why?”

“Well, I had to take out Skinny to stay alive and secure the Vault, but that’d mean killing her boyfriend. And she wouldn’t have taken kindly to that. But I also didn’t want to kill her and upset her parents, who hired me to find her in the first place. But once we started talking, I found out that she wasn’t really in love with him. She had a mean streak, and she was only with Skinny to be around the gangster life.”

“Then what happened?” Blue asked.

“I convinced her that she’d make a better gang boss than Skinny. We made a deal that if she helped me take on Skinny, I’d clear out the rest of his thugs. Then she’d be free to take over the rest of his gang in Goodneighbor.”

“Niiick! That’s so cold of you!” I exclaimed.

“Not as cold as Darla. She ended up killing her own boyfriend. Skinny’s a little heavier now with all the bullets she put in him.”

“Damn, Nick. Aren’t you worried about Darla causing more trouble down the road?”

“Course I am, but that’s a problem for another day. For now, case closed.”

“Nick, do you know a faster way back to Diamond City?” Blue asked. “It took us two days of creeping around Boston Commons just to get to you the first time. As much as I enjoy sneaking around town, I’d rather be more efficient coming back.”

“Yeah, I know a shortcut. There’s an access tunnel that connects to the old sewer lines here in the subway. It’s crawling with feral ghouls and mirelurks, but nothing the three of us can’t handle. We’ll be back home in no time.”

We followed Nick out of Vault 114 to the secret access tunnel, with shotguns and pistols at the ready. 

Blue walked up next to me. “Piper, I’m confused about Nick,” Blue whispered. “You didn’t tell me he was a, uh, whatever he is.”

“Oh, right,” I whispered back. “Nick’s my good friend, we go way back. I didn’t think it was my place to talk about him when he wasn’t around. I think it’s best if you ask him yourself.”

“Ok. He won’t be offended, will he?”

“No, you kidding? He gets that question all the time. He’s just one of a kind.”

Blue made her way to Nick in front of us. “Excuse me, Nick. I had a question.”

“Shoot. Not at me though.” 

Blue stared at him blankly. “That’s a joke. Sorry, old cop humor.”

“Oh right. Um, I don’t mean to be rude, but what...are you?”

“Told you, I’m a detective. Look, I know the skins and metal parts ain’t comforting... Listen, I’ll give you the lowdown about me, if I can ask you a question in return. Deal?”

“Deal,” Blue agreed. 

Nick explained that he was a synth prototype discarded by the Institute, a model in between the simple Gen. 1 synths and the more advanced Gen. 3 organic synths. Similar to all synths, he had a memory block that prevented him from remembering anything about the Institute, due to the Institute’s failsafe that covered their tracks. What he does remember is the life of the original Nick Valentine, a police detective from Chicago who lived before the War.

“Now, my turn. You and Piper came a long way and back to cut me loose. Why were you looking for me?”

“I’m tracking a murderer,” Blue answered, her voice shaking. “The bastard who shot my husband. Took my baby. I don’t even have a clue about who he is, or where he’s gone.”

“So, you need a little angel of vengeance, huh? Well, I don’t usually go after blood money, but I guess I can make an exception. Once we get back to Diamond City and you’ve had a break, come to my office. Give me all the details. Besides, I think you’ve earned a chance to sit down and clear your head.”

“Ok, Nick. Thank you. For taking my case.”

...

A few hours later, with a dozen ghoul and mirelurk kills between all of us, we finally made it back home. Nick went to his office to surprise Ellie and to catch her up on what happened over the past few weeks while he was being held captive.

I invited Blue to crash at my place instead of going back to the Dugout Inn. Nat and Dogmeat were home, and they ran to greet us at the door.

Dogmeat tackled Blue and licked her face, and Blue gave him a good rubdown in return.

“Piper! You’re home!” Nat gave me a big bear hug, while waving politely at Blue. 

“Hey sis. You miss me?”

“Yeah, you’ve been gone forever!”

“Well I’m back now. How were things while I was gone?”

“Fine. I got a B on my last math test. And Pete Pembrooke was being a jerk again, so I kicked him. I, uh, got detention for it.”

“Detention? That’s...great!”

“Really? But you said...”

“Yeah, I know. But you were sticking up for yourself, so that’s different. We’ll talk about that later. Anything else happen?”

“Dogmeat and I played a lot. We’re best friends now. Oh yeah, and the printer motor broke.”

“Broke? Oh no. Not that piece of crap again.” I crouched under my printing press to pull out the small motor. Several wires stuck out at odd angles. I thwacked the motor a few times as punishment.

“Something the matter, Piper?” Blue asked.

“Yeah, it’s just the stupid motor for my printing press. It’s been on the fritz for a while now.”

“You need any parts? I’m sure I got something in my collection that’ll work.”

“Thanks Blue. What we really need is a new motor. This piece of junk’s been disassembled, rewired, soldered, you name it, and it still breaks down. The motor we need is hard to find, so I’ve been saving up to hire a scavenger to search for it.”

“Ah. Well, I’m happy to help if you need it. Oh, that reminds me... Hey Nat!”

Blue took out a small cigar box with her holotape collection. She picked out several holotapes and gave them to Nat.

“I think they’re called...video games? I’m not sure, I’m too old to understand technology and stuff.” Blue winked at me as I rolled my eyes. “Anyway, I figured you might enjoy them more than me.”

Nat shuffled through the tapes. “Wow, Wastelad? Grognak and the Ruby Ruins? Nuka Tapper? Pipfall? Thanks Blue!” Nat gave Blue a hug.

“You’re welcome. As long as you promise your sister that you won’t play them till after your homework’s done. And that you’ll stay home to play.”

“I will. Thanks!”

“Ok Nat, let’s have some dinner together first, and then you can borrow my terminal to play for a bit.” 

We had a nice reunion dinner with Nat and Dogmeat to celebrate our return. We shared stories with them about what we did on the trip north. 

I considered telling Nat that Blue and I were... well I wasn’t exactly sure what we were. What happened between us last night was unmistakably a turning point. But my truth gut prickled at me. It needed more clarity before I could explain things to my sister. So I held off for now. When the time was right, Nat could take the news, but there was no use in confusing her beforehand.

After dinner, Nat went upstairs to my terminal to play Wastelad, one of the video games that Blue gave her. Blue and I hung out downstairs and chatted while sharing a beer. Dogmeat laid down near Blue’s feet and wagged his tail happily, content to be back with his human.

“By the way, thanks for giving those video games to Nat,” I said.

“Of course! Don’t mention it.”

“What made you think to give those?”

“Oh, I was thinking back to your conversation about how Nat sneaks out sometimes,” Blue said. “And I tried to figure out, how do you get kids to stay home when they’re by themselves? And then it hit me—video games! Back in my day, the papers would always complain how kids weren’t going outside anymore because they were playing too many damn video games...”

“Ah. So you thought that by corrupting my little sister with video games, you’d solve my problem.”

“Uh, yeah... Oh boy.” Blue scratched her head and grimaced anxiously.

“I’m kidding. I appreciate the thought, really. I’m not always able to get Nat what she wants. We’ve had a copy of Red Menace for the longest time, but I think she got tired of playing it.”

“Whew. You had me scared for a second. Like I said before, I don’t have much parenting experience beyond babies. I don’t know anything about raising an 11 year-old.”

“Ha, true. Well, thanks for thinking of her.”

...

We talked some more until it was close to midnight. Then I shooed Nat to bed while Blue and Dogmeat settled on the couch. I noticed Blue whispering something into Dogmeat’s ear. Dogmeat licked her nose and went over to Nat’s corner to sleep with his new best friend.

When both Dogmeat and Nat were sound asleep, Blue quietly crept upstairs to my loft. As she reached the top, I grabbed her waist and locked lips with her. We kissed for a good minute, easing the tension of the long day.

“Oh, I needed that,” Blue whispered when we released. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the feel of my passions stirring. 

“What did you tell Dogmeat earlier?” I asked.

“To ignore any weird noises from upstairs,” Blue smirked.

“Oh you’re bad,” I teased. “You’re lucky Nat’s a sound sleeper. Even then, I don’t normally invite anyone over.”

We made out some more, eventually sitting next to each other on the bed. Just as things were getting heated, my truth gut nagged me. _You better ask._ Ugh! Of all the times for a gut check...

I abruptly broke off our kiss. “What’s wrong?” Blue asked.

“Nothing... But can I ask you something? About last night.”

“Oh my God, last night was amazing,” Blue said, fluttering her eyes. “So intense. I can’t stop thinking about it.”

“Aww,” I said, blushing. “It was amazing for me too. But I wanted to ask... you didn’t think I was taking advantage of you, did you? Like that I kissed you because you were vulnerable.”

“Why Piper... how could you?” Blue leaned back with a hand on her chest, shocked. “My husband’s dead for like five seconds, and the first thing you think about is swooping in and taking advantage of a grieving widow? You should be ashamed...”

Blue lost it and cracked up. “I’m sorry. I couldn’t resist.”

I slapped her arm. “Blue! I’m being serious.”

It took Blue a minute to stop laughing. “No, I didn’t think that at all. I think we established before that we had a mutual attraction. Don’t worry about it.”

“I just wanted to be sure. I wasn’t worried about that as much as...other things.”

“Other things? Like what?”

“Well... the last relationship I had was with a trader from Quincy. It started off intense too, but then it flamed out pretty fast. In hindsight, it wasn’t that serious, but I still had to drink moonshine for a month to get over it.”

“Wait, there really is a trader from Quincy?” 

“Well, yeah. Why, do you know her? When did you go to Quincy?” 

“No, I don’t know a... You don’t remember saying...?” Blue stopped herself. “You know what, never mind.” 

“Anyway, things have been happening pretty fast between us. I mean, how many relationships established in a hail of gunfire actually work out?”

“Correction, our relationship was established when you _used_ me to talk your way back into Diamond City. Which, by the way, I thought was the funniest and most adorable thing in the world.”

“You did?”

“And you don’t even remember telling Danny Sullivan at the gates that I was a trader from Quincy! Did you mean _that_ trader from Quincy?”

“I did?” I honestly didn’t remember. “Huh. Must have been a Freudian slip.”

“Uh huh,” Blue said sarcastically.

“Well, what I’m getting at is... Are you sure you want to be with me? It’s just that, I’m loud and pushy and constantly getting in over my head. I’m a terrible sister and an even worse surrogate mom. Why would someone like you ever want someone like me?”

Blue threw up her hands, incredulous. “Are you kidding me?! You—you’re incredible. Is it so hard to believe that someone could fall for you?”

Incredible? That was a new one. “Well, no, but I don’t exactly feel like you’ve seen me at my best thus far, Blue.”

“I don’t know, I think I saw you at your best last night.”

I blushed hard. “Aw, thanks Blue.”

“And I could ask you the same question,” Blue countered. She counted off her flaws with her hand. “I’m a foreigner from another time, I’m fresh out of the Vault, I’m an emotionally wreck, my whole life is a dumpster fire, and I moonlight as a garbage woman. Would you really want to end up with someone like me?”

She was really infuriating when she used her lawyerly skills to reverse the argument.

“Ok, you have a point, Blue. We could argue who’s worse for who until we’re...blue in the face,” I cringed at the accidental pun. “Maybe we’re completely wrong for each other, and yet here we are.”

Blue held my hand, interlacing her fingers with mine. “Piper, what’s really bothering you?”

I shifted on the bed. “Most people don’t get close to me, because they think what they say will end up in the paper. And then, I push people away by questioning their motives, trying to find out if they’re hiding something. I even questioned yours.” 

I looked in Blue’s eyes. “But you answered every single question I asked, without hesitation. No one does that. You’re not afraid of me like everyone else.”

“Why would I be afraid of you?” Blue asked.

“Because I snoop around everyone’s business!” I exclaimed. “Because I’m a nosy reporter!”

“Yeah, but you’re my kind of nosy,” Blue quipped.

“Blue, stop it.”

“No really,” Blue stood up, agitated. “What do I have to hide? I spent all my life hiding things, hiding who I am. So that my life would be easier. But everyone who could have made my life miserable if they ever found out about me are dead. Thanks to the War. So what’s the point in hiding? But even though I have nothing to hide, I still would not tell anyone else these things.” 

She sat back down and looked straight at me. “Except you. Because, you see right through me,” Blue said, pointing at her heart. “And, I feel like I can trust you.”

Suddenly I was afraid. Did I really deserve her trust? So soon? Did I deserve to learn all the things Blue kept from other people out of fear?

I stood and turned away from Blue. “Well, maybe you shouldn’t. Maybe I’m just following you around to get another story.”

Blue followed me up. “No, I don’t believe that,” she said, shaking her head. “Look, if you were here just for the story, I wouldn’t care. But I don’t think you’re here just for the story. Not anymore.”

Blue paced the room. “Piper, this thing that we have, it scares me too. You’re right, everything’s been happening so fast. I didn’t expect to meet someone like you. We haven’t know each other that long, and yet, I feel like I’ve known you forever. I mean, I’m supposed to be mourning Nate, and I still do. But how can I mourn Nate, when I can’t stop thinking about you?”

“You...what?”

Blue sat back down on the bed. She grew quiet as she prepared to make a confession. “I think about you. All the time. If I’m being completely honest, I’ve been thinking about you before Sanctuary...before we first kissed. I just didn’t acknowledge it earlier.”

I was stunned. I didn’t realize how deeply she felt.

“Blue, I—I need to sit down.” I quickly sat on the bed next to Blue and put my head in my hands. I needed to gather my thoughts, which were swirling around like a tornado. 

_I feel like I’ve known you forever_. I didn’t know I had the same thought until she said it aloud. The thought sunk deep into the bottom of my gut. 

“Piper, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to come on so strong. It’s just how I’ve been feeling for a while. I didn’t understand it before. It didn’t make any sense to me.”

I wasn’t sure what to say. “I—I don’t fully understand this myself. But maybe—maybe it’s not supposed to make sense. Maybe it just is. Maybe we just have to trust our intuition.”

Maybe I had to be brave.

“Piper, I’m not asking you to change your life for me. We can take it one day at a time. I’ll go as far as you want to go, no pressure. I just want you to be happy.”

Blue was being sincere. “No one’s ever said that to me before,” I replied softly. “Goodness Blue, I—I don’t know what to say.”

Blue said nothing, letting the moment sink in. Then gently she wrapped me in her arms and kissed me. 

As she undressed me, little by little, I tried to let go of my self doubts. It would be hard. They’ve been with me a long time, and I wasn’t ready to let go of them completely. 

She traced my body with her mouth, caressing every curve with her soft lips. I opened up for her and she made love to me, her tongue pressing deep inside me. I laid back and let her love wash over me. 

I decided to trust her. Maybe it was time to set aside old truths. Maybe I had to learn to let go.


	13. The Case of the Missing Vault Baby

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: PTSD

In the morning, we walked to Nick’s office so that he could start Blue’s case. Dogmeat followed us as we held hands and talked on the way over.

As we approached Nick’s office, we stopped near the neon sign advertising his detective agency. The neon heart flickered and buzzed, illuminating the dark alleyway with its moody colors.

“Hey Piper, can I ask how you and Nick became friends?” Blue leaned against the wall near Nick’s sign. The neon colors cast mysterious shadows across her face.

“Sure. Nick helped me and Nat out when we first came to Diamond City. He already had his detective agency by then. He helped me get my bearings by giving me odd jobs related to his detective work. We drove each other nuts though. He’d nag me for going off procedure, or for jumping to conclusions. And for talking too much.”

“You? Talk too much? Pffft, whatever,” Blue joked.

“Ha, ha,” I scoffed sarcastically. “Still, I learned a lot from him about how to observe people. Those skills helped me when I branched into reporting.”

“Hmm, that’s interesting. I guess I was surprised that you two were friends at all.”

“Why, because he’s a synth? I’m not anti-synth, if that’s what you’re implying.”

“Really? You could have fooled me, since you just wrote an article about synths that caused a minor panic.” Blue shifted her tone. “Wait, sorry, that came out wrong. But do you see what I’m getting at?”

“Sigh, I get what you’re saying, poor Kyle... But you know my deal, Blue. Getting the truth out sooner is better in the long run.”

“Look, me writing an article exposing a synth has nothing to do with me being friends with a synth,” I continued. “Nick’s always been upfront about who he is. The Mayor and other synth infiltrators who are pretending to be who they’re not, and hurting people in the process? What they’re doing is evil, plain and simple. I mean, Nick’s been one of the few trying to find people who’ve disappeared. McDonough, on the other hand, simply refuses to investigate these kidnappings, which is a huge red flag.”

“Ok, I get the distinction. But what makes you trust Nick to not, uh, turn bad?”

“Nick? No way. The Institute threw him out like last week’s garbage. To them, he’s worthless. Look, the situation with synths is...complicated. Most synths sent by the Institute are bad news. But many of them also exhibit free will. Nick’s a prime example, as well as synths freed by the Railroad.”

“The Railroad?”

“Long story. I’ll tell you more over dinner. We should head in, though.”

“Ok. Thanks Piper, I had to ask. It’s not that I don’t trust Nick.”

“I get it. You’re just doing your due diligence.”

We headed to the door to Nick’s office. Blue’s hand shook as she reached for the door handle.

“Piper, I’m scared that it’s going to happen again.”

“The panic attacks?”

“Yeah. I’m afraid that telling Nick what happened will trigger something.”

“Come here.” I gave Blue a hug and kissed her forehead. “I’m here with you, and you’re safe here. Nick will be careful too.” Dogmeat woofed quietly in agreement and nudged Blue’s leg.

...

Ellie greeted me and Blue with hugs as soon as we walked in.

“I can’t thank you two enough. You saved Nick, this agency, and my job.”

“You’re welcome Ellie,” I said. “Nick really saved himself, though. We just got the key.” I winked at Blue, who smiled back.

“Ellie, can we get started on my case?” Blue asked.

“Oh of course! There’s just a clerical thing we need to clear up.” Ellie went to the back and retrieved two bags of caps from her desk. She offered one bag to Blue. “Here, some caps for finding him.”

“Wow, this is...quite generous. But I couldn’t,” Blue said.

“Take the money, Kid,” Nick called out from the back. “You deserve it for springing me outta that Vault. And you’re gonna need it.”

“Thank you, Ellie,” Blue said as she pocketed the caps.

Ellie offered me caps as well, but I declined. “Just count it towards my retainer to Nick,” I said.

“Retainer? What retainer?” Nick sneered. “I haven’t gotten anything from you in years.”

“And now we’re good!” I shot back. Nick rolled his eyes and shook his head sarcastically.

Nick walked to the front of the office to greet us. To my surprise, Dogmeat approached Nick and licked his metal hand. Nick pet his head politely.

“Huh, Dogmeat’s following you around now, Kid?” Nick commented.

“Oh, you two know each other?” Blue asked.

“In a sense. Dogmeat helped me out before on some old cases. He’s a freelance mutt, so to speak. Glad he’s taken a liking to you.”

Nick sat down behind his desk. “All right. Let’s get down to business,” Nick invited Blue to sit at the chair in front of the desk. “Take a seat. Make yourself comfortable.” 

Blue hesitated as she approached the wooden chair on the other side of Nick’s desk. She slowly sat down, while Dogmeat turned around twice before laying on the floor by Blue’s feet. She grew tense and gripped the armrests of her chair anxiously.

“When you’re trying to find someone who’s gone missing, the devil’s in the details. Tell me everything you can, no matter how...painful it might be.”

Blue stared at the middle of Nick’s desk. She trembled. “I—I can’t, it’s cold...so cold.” Blue’s face was turning pale. She started hyperventilating.

I rushed to Blue’s side and kneeled beside her. “Hey, it’s ok. You’re safe here. You’re not in a Vault. You’re in Nick’s office. I’m here.” I put my hand on top of hers. Her grip was locked tight on the armrest. I rubbed her hand so she could feel my warmth.

“Look, your friends are here.” On cue, Dogmeat stood and laid his head on Blue’s lap. “See? Dogmeat’s here, and he’s not going to hurt you.”

Blue put a hand on Dogmeat’s head and kept staring at Nick’s desk, not moving. “I’m...not in the Vault. But I still feel...cold. I—I can’t move.”

My mind scrambled to figure out what to do next. There weren’t exactly a whole lot of psychiatrists around in the post-apocalyptic Commonwealth who could guide us. Maybe this was too much.

“Nick, maybe we should consider trying again later...”

“NO!” Blue yelled. “I...have to beat this. S-shaun, he’s s-still...”

Nick observed us quietly for a moment. “Ellie, why don’t you brew our guest some melon bloom tea. To take the edge off.”

Ellie scurried to the back and brought over a hot cup of tea. She gently placed the cup in Blue’s hands.

“Here you go, nice and hot,” Ellie suggested. 

Blue’s hands shook as she put the cup to her lips. She carefully sipped her tea, feeling the warm liquid travel down her throat and chest. She took a few more sips and started to calm down.

“T-thank you. This helps.” She patted Dogmeat and glanced at me with a weak smile.

“We’ll take it nice and easy, ok?” Nick said. “Try to focus on the facts, one at a time. Now, start from the beginning.”

Ellie and I took separate notes as Blue began her story. I kept an eye on Blue while jotting down details. Her demeanor from a few minutes ago had shifted to laser focus, walking the thin line between detached recall and renewed despair. 

As she spoke, Nick helped Blue concentrate on the facts. He made subtle yet pointed observations, teasing out the implications of what she recalled. Watching Nick conduct an investigation never ceased to amaze me. He picked up the most minute details from things that on the surface seemed ordinary or unremarkable. And I was always left wondering, why I didn’t pick up on those obvious details sooner? I wasn’t afraid to admit to myself that I still had a lot to learn.

I looked back at my notes:

> B: Looking for baby Shaun, less than 1 year old. Why take him?
> 
> N: Why B’s family & why an infant? Someone would take on all of baby’s care
> 
> B: Husband murdered trying to keep them from taking Shaun
> 
> N: Killers waited until something went wrong to resort to violence
> 
> B: Happened in Vault 111, cryo facility
> 
> N: B on ice, underground, sealed up. Many obstacles just to take one person
> 
> B: Man and woman didn’t say much. Called B “the backup”
> 
> N: Small team of professionals, tight lipped. Not sure what “the backup” means
> 
> N: Confirmed—NOT a random kidnapping. They had an agenda
> 
> N: Likely suspects? Not raiders, too disorganized. Not super mutants, too big, green, hard to miss. Maybe Gunners, but they wouldn’t pull the strings.  INSTITUTE!!!
> 
> B: Kidnappers: Woman dressed in hazard suit. Man had metal arm brace
> 
> N: Improvised armor to look tough. Not many mercs can afford hazard suit—interesting
> 
> B: Man who killed husband had handgun. Loud sound
> 
> N: Large-caliber revolver? 
> 
> B: Came up to B. Bald head, scar across left eye
> 
> N: KELLOGG?

...

“Wait, it couldn’t be,” Nick said, “You didn’t hear the name ‘Kellogg’ at all, did you?”

“Who’s Kellogg?” Blue asked. “Do you think he has Shaun?”

“Hmm...it’s way too big of a coincidence,” Nick said. “Ellie, what notes do we have about the Kellogg case?”

Ellie opened a file drawer and fished out a file folder. “The description matches. Bald head. Scar. Reputation for dangerous mercenary work, but no one knows who his employer is.”

“And he bought a house here in town, right?” Nick asked. “And he had a kid with him, didn’t he?”

“Yeah, that’s right,” Ellie confirmed. “The house in the abandoned West Stands. The boy with him was around ten years old.”

Blue shot up from her chair, startling Dogmeat. “It’s Shaun! It has to be! Somehow...”

Nick stood up. “Don’t jump the gun on me. You said you were looking for an infant, remember? That’s over nine years difference by my count.”

“Yes, I did, but...” Blue leaned over Nick’s desk. “After they kidnapped Shaun and killed my husband, they...froze me again. I don’t know for how long. I figured some time might have passed, but... nine years?”

Nick rubbed his chin. “Hmm, that’s an interesting wrinkle, if we can’t pinpoint _when_ it all happened... But still, the boy might not be yours. Maybe Kellogg has a son of his own. Maybe it’s someone else’s kid. Either way, they both vanished a while back.”

“They vanished?” Blue pounded her fist on Nick’s desk. “Dammit!” 

I put my arm on her shoulder to calm her. “Hey, it’s a lead. It’s more than we had a few minutes ago.” Blue nodded, but she was seething.

Nick holstered his pistol and straightened his hat. “Let’s you and I take a walk over to Kellogg’s last known address. See if we can snoop out where he went.”

Nick opened the door and held it for us. Blue stormed out while Dogmeat and I chased after her. Nick closed the door and led the way to Kellogg’s house.

Nick talked to us as we walked. “I didn’t want Ellie to hear this, but I think you should know. Everything I dug up about Kellogg before his disappearance is bad news. He’s more than just a mercenary. He’s a professional. Quick, clean, thorough. Has no enemies, because they’re all dead. Except you. But nine to one odds says he’s our man. It’s more than just you identifying his distinguishing features. The MO is all him as well. Leading a small team to kidnap a baby, and leaving one of the parents alive for later? Not many mercs in the Commonwealth can pull that off.”

It had been a while since I ventured to the West Stands of Diamond City. The house was tucked away in a dark corner, shaded by the abandoned suites above. A foreboding steel door blocked the front entrance.

Nick jiggled the door handle. Locked tight. 

“Keep an eye out, will ya’? Let’s see if I can get this open.” Nick tried for several minutes to jimmy the lock, and broke several pins in the process.

“Here, let me try.” Blue fed her own bobby pin into the key slot to test it. The pin snapped immediately.

“Damn. The lock’s too complicated,” she said. “I’ll never be able to fit enough bobby pins to force it open.”

“That’s one heck of a lock,” Nick remarked. “Got something to hide, Kellogg? 

“Dammit, we need the key,” Blue vented.

“Well, where are we gonna find a key?” I asked. “By looking under his flowerpot?”

“We could ask the Mayor’s office...” Nick suggested.

“Get real, Nick,” I pushed back. “McDonough’s never gonna give us the keys. Especially if he knows I’m snooping around.”

Impatient, Blue ran and kicked the door. She immediately fell clutching her knee and doubled over in pain.

“Ow.”

“Blue, what are you doing?”

“Trying to kick down the door. What, you never watched cop shows?”

“No TV in the 23rd century, remember? And anyway, you’re a lawyer, not a cop.”

Blue screwed her face at me, while still nursing her knee. “True. But Nick was. Nick, please? I needed to find answers yesterday!”

Nick looked around to make sure there were no Diamond City security guards nearby. Security rarely ventured out here, but he still didn’t want us to get caught breaking in. 

“Ok, get ready in case anyone’s inside,” Nick advised. Blue and I drew our pistols while Dogmeat readied himself behind us. We gave Nick the go ahead.

“Stand back.” He drew his pistol and fired two rounds into the lock. Then he kicked open the door with three thunderous kicks from his pneumatically powered leg.

The steel door splintered open, smashing against the wall inside. We filed in and immediately fanned out to secure the house. Nobody was inside. 

“Dammit!” Blue kicked a nearby trash can in anger, then howled as she reinjured her bad leg. She plopped down on Kellogg’s dusty couch in frustration.

“Don’t give up yet, Kid. Let’s take a look around. Kellogg must have left something behind.”

We rummaged around Kellogg’s house. A thick layer of dust covered the surfaces, and worthless junk was scattered everywhere. It looked like nothing had been touched for months. Inside was a small room with a couch, TV, and desk, and a tiny upstairs loft with a bed. The interior was surprisingly small, given how big the house looked from the outside.

Dogmeat sniffed around the house conducting his own investigation. His nose led him to Kellogg’s desk, where he barked for our attention.

“What is it, boy?” I asked him. Dogmeat kept barking and spinning around under the desk. 

I looked at the dusty desktop and opened all the drawers. “Huh, I don’t see anything...” Nick and Blue came over. Dogmeat kept barking, so I looked around the desk before finally crouching underneath. Tucked under the desktop was a button. 

I pressed it. On the far wall, a hidden door to a panic room slid open.

Nick adjusted his fedora. “Well, that’s one way to hide a room.”


	14. The Smoking Room

The pungent smell of old cigar smoke hit my nostrils as soon as the door to Kellogg’s panic room slid open. Nick stepped inside the dimly lit room, and Blue followed him.

I kept my distance in the adjacent room and peered inside. The smell of smoke permeated everywhere. It wafted from a ratty old smoking chair and the tobacco-stained coffee table set in the middle of the panic room. Dogmeat entered the panic room and sniffed at the chair and coffee table, then scratched his nose with his paw.

Nick poked around the coffee table. “Gwinnett Stout beer, 0.44 caliber bullets, and cigars. ‘San Francisco Sunlights.’”

Blue picked through the rusted shelves and cabinets in the panic room for clues, but found nothing else.

“There’s nothing here,” Blue complained, frustrated. “Well, now what?”

“The cigars are interesting, not exactly an East coast brand,” Nick observed. He used a handkerchief to pick up a cigar butt.

Blue suddenly looked sick. “I—I need to go outside,” Blue said brusquely. “I can’t breathe.” She hurried out of the smashed front door into the hazy sunlight.

I followed Blue outside. “Are you ok, Blue?” I asked.

Blue leaned over the handrail outside Kellogg’s house, gripping it with bare white knuckles.

“No. I think I’m going to be sick.” She was hyperventilating again, and rage filled her eyes. I considered holding her, but thought better of it. She looked ready to explode.

Nick and Dogmeat followed us outside. “I’m sorry, Kid. It’s a lot to take in,” Nick apologized.

Blue shoved off the handrail. “Well, now I have a name to a face. But how can we find him?”

“How long do you think he’s been gone, Nick?” I asked

“Hard to say for sure,” Nick speculated. “Last sighting of him in Diamond City was over six months ago. That lines up with the amount of dust in his place.”

“Shit. He could be anywhere at this point,” Blue vented.

“Hmm, what if we use Dogmeat? I bet a Commonwealth mutt like him could track a man’s scent for miles,” Nick suggested. He took out the cigar butt for Dogmeat to sniff, and Dogmeat barked eagerly.

“Nick, if it's been six months since he left, do you really think Dogmeat can pick up the trail after all this time?” I asked.

“Dogmeat’s got an excellent nose. I’ve seen it myself. Once, he helped me track a perp who was in hiding for over a year. I couldn’t have solved some of my cases without his tracking help.”

Nick sniffed the cigar butt himself. “I’m no cigar aficionado, but my olfactory sensors do pick up subtle differences in this brand compared to what mercs out here usually smoke. Dogmeat can tell the difference too. And my instinct says Kellogg’s still in the Commonwealth. He won’t stay hidden for long.”

“Well, looks like we’re tracking down this Kellogg, then,” Blue said. “If he is the one who took Shaun, he has a lot to answer for. He’ll pay for what he did to Nate.” Darkness crossed her eyes as she said this.

Nick put his arm around Blue. “Before you head out, I know this is personal business. If you have to face Kellogg on your own, just say so. Besides, you already have plenty of company. We can’t all go sniffing through the Commonwealth after one man.”

“But you don’t need to rush out right this second,” Nick advised. “The trail won’t go cold tomorrow, but you don’t know how far it’ll go. Make sure you’re prepared.” 

Blue’s anger shifted to determination. “Ok, I will. Any other words of wisdom?”

Nick rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “If Kellogg is the one who kidnapped your son, then he’s dangerous, but so are you. You don’t need to be afraid of him, or anything else the Commonwealth throws at you.” 

He turned to leave. “And if you need me, just come knocking. If not, then, the next time I see you, I hope it’s with your son, safe and sound.”

Blue and I watched as Nick walked away, leaving Kellogg’s broken house behind.

...

Something about what Blue said bothered me. Or maybe it was how she said it. _He’ll pay._ It was a side of Blue I hadn’t seen before. And it troubled me. 

I now remembered what Blue said at Vault 111, when she had unlocked the Cryolator. At the time, I didn’t think much of it. But now I realized she had been harboring the intention to seek revenge. I worried about what it could cost.

We took a break at my house. Blue sat on my couch and retreated into silence. She was fuming.

“Blue, I know you need to go after Kellogg,” I broached. “The way Nick describes him, he’s dangerous. It’s just—I’m worried about you. It’s frightening enough that he might have Shaun, but if he really did kill Nate, then it’s personal…”

“You’re damn right it’s personal,” Blue snapped. “The thought that this—monster—might have been raising Shaun the whole time, it...it sickens me. All this time, I’ve felt paralyzed because I was the victim. This crime happened to me, to my family. And I couldn’t do a damn thing about it, because I didn’t know who did it or who was behind it. But now that Nick helped me remember...all I see is his face. When I close my eyes, I see him. Mocking me. And now, all I want to do is destroy him.”

“Blue, this doesn’t sound like you,” I said. “I mean, you were once a public defender, for crying out loud. Surely you defended criminals before, because you believe in equal justice.”

“And who’s going to put him on trial? You’ve said yourself there’s no rule of law out here.”

“There are other ways than revenge, Blue. But only if you allow for the possibility…”

“This isn’t like you father’s situation, Piper,” Blue snapped. “You had a community to turn to for justice, even if you had to twist their arms first to get it. This...Kellogg...no one controls him. Except maybe the Institute, if he’s really working for them. But it’s not like we can ask the Institute nicely to stop him, especially if they’re the ones giving him orders. That just leaves us. Me.”

I tried to ignore Blue’s personal dig. “Fine. Let’s say you find him, and he was the one who did it. Then you kill him. Then what? What if he dies and takes the answers you need to his grave? About Shaun, or the Institute?”

“Well I hope it doesn’t come to that, that he’ll tell me before…”

“And if he doesn’t?”

Blue leapt up. “Dammit Piper, what do you want me to say? That I’ll tie him up till you can ask him politely where the Institute is? He has to pay for what he did. No one else can—will—stop him.”

“Blue, I’m afraid for you,” I pleaded. “I’m afraid that if you go into this with the wrong intentions, if your only goal is revenge, that you’re going to lose yourself in the process.”

“Piper, I have to find this guy. And that means I’ve got to put myself in whatever place I need to be to do that. If that means I lose myself in the process, then so be it.”

“Blue…”

“I—I can’t talk about this anymore. I need to cool off.” Blue stormed out of my house and slammed the door.

Fuuuuuck.


	15. Fighting the Green Monster

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: Some NSFW bits

I took a long walk along the Green Wall. I was upset about my argument with Blue and needed to cool off myself. 

The nerve! I couldn’t believe Blue brought up my father. That wasn’t what I was getting at. Of course the two situations weren’t the same. But there was a difference between justice and revenge. Even if in the end, Blue had to kill him, I hoped she would be able to recognize the difference. I’ve seen what happens to people who chose revenge. They were never the same, and the act of revenge never gave them the satisfaction they imagined it would.

Above all, Blue needed to find answers about her son. In my mind, that trumped everything, even her need to seek “justice” for Nate. I couldn’t understand why she couldn’t see reason.

The Institute was a tough nut to crack. We needed every lead, even the unsavory murderous ones. And we didn’t know anything about Kellogg, and how or why he became a merc for the Institute. That truth in itself could reveal something. But we wouldn’t know unless he talked willingly. 

Dammit. This was a dilemma, with no easy answers. Especially since most of this was speculation. Maybe I didn’t want Blue to make a mistake by killing him outright, without ever learning the truth. And I didn’t want her to lose her humanity by stooping to the same level as this monster.

I stopped at the bookcase patch, my nickname for the spot where the Wall was once patched with one bookcase. Blue laughed at my story about it, and how I got the city to fix it properly thanks to the paper. I leaned against the spot, which looked no different from the rest of the green-painted brick and mortar wall. 

What did Blue call it? Oh that’s right, the Green Monster...

Sigh. Arguing with Blue wasn’t fun. We’d certainly had our ups and downs in the brief time we’ve known each other, but nothing like this. She was understandably upset after discovering who likely murdered her husband, then breaking into his house on the same day. I was still mad, but I hoped we could still work things out. That this wouldn’t spell the end of us.

“Guess I should try to...patch things,” I said aloud. I patted the Green Monster. “Thanks for the clichéd pun, bookcase.”

Something else was bothering me though. Nat...

…

I wandered back into town and straight to the Dugout Inn. And there she was, sitting at a table by the bar, looking glum. 

I walked up to Blue. “Hey.”

“Hey. Can I buy you a drink?” She offered me a seat.

“Sure.” I sat down across from Blue.

“What would you like? Gwinnett?”

“Vodka.”

Blue raised an eyebrow, then called the waitress Scarlett over. “A vodka for the lady. And a whiskey for the idiot,” she said, pointing at herself.

“Um, ok.” Scarlett gave us the side eye while taking our order.

While we waited, I took out a bottle of Nuka Cola from my bag. Scarlett came back and set our drinks on the table. I opened my Nuka Cola and poured some into my vodka.

“Hey! No outside drinks!” Vadim yelled from the bar.

“Hey!” I stood up from my chair, shaking my fist. “You stop letting strangers poison _your_ drinks, and I’ll stop bringing in _my_ outside drinks! You still owe me for that, by the way!”

“Bah,” Vadim waved me off.

Blue laughed at our exchange. “Wow. You told him.”

“You’re damn right,” I said, sitting back down. I took a swig of my cocktail while giving Vadim the evil eye.

“You know, I didn’t take you for a coke and vodka girl,” Blue commented.

“Only for special occasions,” I winked, catching Blue off guard. We clinked glasses and sipped our drinks.

Blue set down her glass. “Piper, about earlier… I’m sorry for blowing up like that. And for bringing up your father. I was way out of line.”

“It’s ok. I’m sorry too. I pushed you too hard.”

“You were just being honest.”

“Yeah, but I could have said it better. And I could have brought it up later, rather than immediately after we broke into your husband’s murderer’s house.” 

Shit. I don’t know why my brain thought that was an appropriate thing to say. 

Blue scratched her head. “Um, right. Timing could have been better.” Then my relief, she let out a small laugh. 

“Look Piper, I respect your point of view,” Blue said. “Maybe we won’t always agree on everything, but your opinion does matter to me. To be honest, I don’t know how I’ll react if I do confront him. I just know I have to find him. To find answers.”

“I understand. I know this hasn’t been easy for you. Um, Blue, there’s something else.” I reached for her hand. “And it’s really hard for me to say this, especially now, but...I can’t go with you.”

I expected Blue to be disappointed. Instead she looked concerned. 

“Oh! Ok...”

“It’s just, tracking Kellogg...”

“You don’t have to go if you don’t want to…”

“No, I do! I mean, I support you, no matter what. It’s not—that’s not the reason. The thing is, we just got back home, and I worry about leaving Nat again so soon. If I go with you to find Kellogg...we don’t know where he is, or how long it’ll take to find him...”

Blue nodded for me to continue. “It’s just—what you said about Nat, I’ve been going over it again and again in my head. And what you said was right. We’re family, and I should be there for her. I still can’t be with her all the time, but I have to do what I can. And if I have to leave her, I should be more thoughtful about it. I’m sorry.”

“No don’t be.” Blue put her other hand over mine. “I get it. You need to take care of Nat. I’m glad you’re thinking of her.”

“I mean, I want to, really. I want to follow you and be there for you. I just can’t right now.”

“It’s ok, you don’t have to say any more. I understand. Don’t worry about me. I’ve got Dogmeat, and I can always call the Minutemen for backup. I’ll be fine.”

“Thanks, Blue. I’m sad because we’re just getting started. You mean a lot to me.”

“I know. Me too.” Blue kissed my hand. “Look, it’s going to take me a few days to prepare for this trip. So I’m not leaving right away. Let’s just enjoy the time we have together. Speaking of, I also wanted to tell you that I just bought Home Plate.”

“The empty warehouse in the marketplace?”

“Yeah, that’s the one. Figured I should have a place around here to stash my junk. Also it’s better than constantly crashing at your place or the Dugout.”

“Oh, really? Even though you’re leaving in a few days?”

“Yeah. I’m sure I’ll be back, I just don’t know when.” Blue gave me a devilish smirk. “Maybe later, you can help me, uh, break it in…”

“Geez Blue. Is that all you think about?”

“Lately, yes.”

“Me too.” I smiled slyly. “Especially since we still need to make up. You got the keys?”

“Right here.” Blue took out the keys and jiggled them provocatively.

“Good. Let’s get out of here.” 

Blue barely had time to throw down caps for the drinks plus tips, before I grabbed her hand and dragged her out of the bar.

...

Makeup sex with Blue was about as fun as I could have imagined. As soon as Blue had unlocked the door, I pushed her inside and kicked the door closed. I kept pushing her until she landed flat against the sheet metal wall with a resounding clang.

“Oops, sorry,” I apologized. The vodka was making me more aggressive than usual. 

“Pushy, aren’t we?” Blue teased, untying my belt. “Well, bring it on then.”

A challenge... I kissed her and tasted whiskey, cool and smooth, on her tongue. She drank me in as she ran her hands under my shirt, dragging her nails against my back. She offered her leg and I rode it, pulling her hips flush against mine.

“Wait...” Blue said between muffled kisses, “Don’t you...want to...see the place first?”

“Just...the bedroom...” I mumbled back, tearing at her suit. “There’s a bed...right?”

“Up...upstairs... It’s...partly furnished.” 

Blue guided me upstairs to the bedroom loft, stripping off pieces of my clothes while I did the same. Our clothing and undergarments left a telltale trail up the steps.

At one point, we stumbled along the stairs, and I fell on top of Blue. Blue reached between my legs to feel me. We laid there making out, and I nearly gave up trying to go any higher. Then my desire to be comfortable won out, so I interrupted her and brought her along the rest of the way to bed.

We barely made it up. Blue fell halfway onto the bed, and I ravaged her. The climb upstairs along with the alcohol was making my head swim. I was spinning out of control, and it felt like the only way to stop from falling to my death was to keep pressing my body against Blue’s. She propped up a knee to support me, and I held on for dear life.

She arched her neck, and I took advantage of the opening to attack it. I poured my pent up frustrations into her. She encouraged it. She grabbed the nape of my neck and pulled my hair. I channeled my anger into her mouth, biting her lip. The room was still spinning, and she was at the center of it. She dragged her palms from my hip bones to my backside, egging me on. I rocked harder, but the spinning didn’t stop. Not until I screamed, and had taken everything out on her.

...

When it was over, we flopped next to each other on the bed.

I paused to catch my breath. I looked at Blue and couldn’t help but let out a maniacal laugh. Blue laughed too and rolled over to me. She beamed as she brushed my hair aside.

“Hey Piper.”

“Yeah, Blue?”

Blue studied my face for a moment. “I just wanted you to know... I’ve been having a great time with you.”

“Really?” I eyed her skeptically. “Even with everything going on?”

“Especially with everything going on. Somehow being with you makes it not so bad. It’s even fun.”

“Aw Blue. I’ve been having a lot of fun too.”

“Really?”

“Yeah! Absolutely. I love being with you.”

Blue kissed me. “Me too.”

...

The future remained uncertain, as always. But for one night, I convinced myself that somehow, we’d find a way to make this work. 

My optimism was tempered by another nightmare. But this one was new. In the dream, Blue was wandering in desolation. A radiation storm roiled overhead. She pressed on anyway, fighting the swirling winds. She marched straight into the storm. 

An atom bomb exploded. The mushroom cloud flashed her silhouette into ashes, then the world turned white.

I woke up in a cold sweat, frightened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The story of the bookcase patch is taken from Piper’s fourth affinity dialogue.
> 
> Piper's argument with Vadim is a callback to her second affinity dialogue, where she talks about how a caravan cartel nearly poisoned her at the bar after she published her first exposé.
> 
> Makeup sex song inspiration courtesy "Take It Out on Me" by White Lies


	16. The Long Goodbye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: Mildly NSFW

The last days Blue and I spent together were a blur. During the day, she ran errands, did odd jobs for the people in town, even freelanced for a small Brotherhood of Steel scout team. She earned caps and gathered resources for her trip. Sometimes I’d go with her, and we’d get “sidetracked” and stumble into some back room, not making it back till the next day. Other times I stayed behind to write or research, then spend the night at her place.

She pushed back when she planned to leave by a day, then another. Then another. Soon a week had passed. Then another.

Selfishly, I hoped that she’d change her mind about pursuing Kellogg. I knew she had to go. She needed to find Shaun and stop a dangerous mercenary. But I couldn’t help my personal feelings. I didn’t want her to go.

Yet I couldn’t hold onto her forever. Over time, her nightmares became more frequent. But they were different. Instead of waking up in fear, she woke up angry.

...

Despite these troubling signs, there were hints that she was trying to let go of the past. I was reminded of this the other day, when I ran into Nick at the marketplace.

“Niiick. Working on a new case?”

“A few. Thinkin’ about the Kid’s now that I see you. Looks like you two are hitting it off.”

“What? How do you know? Did Blue say something?”

“Boy, you sure don’t know how to keep a poker face, Piper. No, the Kid didn’t say anything. I am a detective, you know.” 

Nick laid out his case. “There was only all that damn sexual tension between you two when you finally sprung me out of the Vault...”

Really? I thought we hid that pretty well...

“Then later, I sensed that something was going on between you two at my office when we started her case...”

C’mon, that could have just been friendly concern...

“And if that weren’t enough, the other day, I noticed this...” Nick pointed to his robotic left ring finger, “...no more wedding ring.”

Damn, he was good. He might as well have extracted a full confession out of me. 

Yes, I did it, I confessed in my head. I was there the night Blue took off her wedding ring...

...

A few days ago, Blue and I had slept together at Home Plate. I was spooning her afterwards as we held hands. Blue was still asleep, so I kept holding her while studying her hand. Her wedding ring, a thin gold band, was still on her left ring finger. 

I really didn’t think much of it. I took it for granted that she would keep it on regardless of our relationship. Bored, I absentmindedly twirled it around around her finger. It was slightly loose and spun around easily.

My ring fiddling must have disturbed Blue’s sleep. She turned her head to see what I was doing. Suddenly, she sat up. Startled, I sat up too. Blue clutched her hand. I was afraid that I’d upset her.

“Blue, I’m so sorry. I was just messing around, I didn’t mean to...”

Blue looked at her wedding ring and feigned horror. “Baby, it’s not what you think! My husband and I, we’re not on speaking terms. We hardly even see each other anymore. He’s always staying late at the office...”

“W—what? Wait, are you roleplaying? With your dead husband?! Blue, how could you?”

Blue started snickering. “Oh my gosh, I thought you were upset that I still had my wedding ring on. I was just trying to play it off.”

I slapped her leg. “And I thought you were mad that I was messing around with your ring! How could you? What would Nate think?”

Blue leaned back and propped herself up on her elbows. “He wouldn’t care. I mean, he’d probably be surprised at us, but he wouldn’t care. You didn’t know Nate. He had a quirky sense of humor too.”

I laid back down next to her. “You are so weird.”

“Guilty as charged.”

“You know, for all the jokes you’ve made at his expense, it’s a wonder that his ghost hasn’t come after you already.”

“He can haunt me all he wants. He made a promise. He can’t do a thing about us.” I wondered what she meant by that, but I didn’t get a chance to ask. 

Blue laid down, resting her head on my shoulder. She studied the simple gold ring on her hand. Then, she took it off.

“Blue, what are you doing? You shouldn’t take that off.”

Blue didn’t say anything at first as she pondered the ring. She held it with two fingers up to the dim light in the room. Looking through it, I could see the words ‘Love, Honor, and Cherish’ engraved inside.

“No, it’s ok. We’re not married anymore,” she decided. Blue unclasped the chain around her neck, which held Nate’s dog tags and his wedding ring. She slipped her own ring onto the chain. It zipped down and landed on top of Nate’s ring with a satisfying clack.

She put the chain back around her neck, then gathered the rings and dog tags together in one hand. “Nate’s not here anymore, but I’m still fighting for him.”

I kissed her on the forehead, admiring her resolve. “You’re a tough cookie, Blue.”

“Thanks,” she said. Then she smirked mischievously. “Look, my husband’s out of town this weekend, so he doesn’t need to know about us.”

This again? Blue was unbelievable. And yet, it was kind of turning me on.

“Oh, is he?” I said, laying on top of her. “Well, I’ve always wanted to have an affair with an older woman.” I placed soft kisses on her breasts and navel, working my way down. “I bet your husband doesn’t do this...”

Blue gripped the sides of the bed and twisted the sheets. “N—no, he...definitely does not...”

...

“Mmm, does your husband do this...?” I mumbled.

“Piper! Earth to Piper!”

“Wha—Nick!” I snapped out of my flashback. “Yes! Wedding ring! She took it off. Uh, good catch.”

“Ah, whatever. I’m just giving you a hard time, Piper. It’s none of my business. But I’m happy for you two all the same. Just, be careful? The poor woman’s gone through a lot.”

“Yeah, yeah, Nick. I know.”

“And not just her, but I’m worried about you too. Things aren’t exactly stable right now, with Kellogg and the Institute looming in the background.”

“Aww, Nick. I didn’t know you cared.”

“Well I do, even if I’ll never admit it in public... You know, this reminds me of when my fiancée Jennifer and I were first dating. We had some rocky moments in the beginning. But the nights were fantastic...”

“Oookaaay Nicky, too much information! I really don’t need to know about the original Nick Valentine’s sex life.” 

“You sure? You’re not even a little curious? ‘Cause I don’t know how the Institute did it, but the details are quite graphic.”

“Aaand, I’m outta here!” I scurried away in a panic. I couldn’t believe how much Nick was messing with me. Did a wire get loose in his brain? I glanced back and saw Nick doubled over laughing.

...

That was a fun memory, albeit embarrassing to have Nick be the one to remind me about it. I tried to relish moments like these, instead of succumbing to my own anxiety-laden nightmares.

It didn’t hurt any less when the last night finally came, and she told me she was leaving tomorrow. She looked heartbroken when she said this. She thanked me for getting her this far, and promised to contact me when she found Kellogg.

I briefly considered changing my mind and going with her. But I had made a promise to Nat too. I had to let her go, and trust that things would work out eventually.

That night, I finally admitted to myself that I’d fallen in love with her. But I couldn’t bring myself to tell her. Not when the future seemed so uncertain. 

...

She left before dawn while I was still asleep. In the early hours, I stirred as she kissed me goodbye. I heard the door shut, and she was gone.

_No. Not yet._ I threw on my clothes and trench coat and hurried after her.

The streets were empty. I ran down the road to catch her.

Blue and Dogmeat were just up ahead, their silhouettes obscured by the early morning fog. She was dressed like a pre-War soldier, wearing full combat armor over her blue Vault suit. Guns and other weapons of war were stowed in a duffle bag slung over her shoulders. 

The duo passed my house, and were about to ascend the ramp leading out to Diamond City’s gates.

I knew she had to go. But I couldn’t help calling out to her.

“Nora! Don’t go.”

Blue stopped dead in her tracks. She turned around. “What did you just...”

She dropped her things, then sprinted back into my arms and kissed me. She cried and clung to me as tightly as she could. 

“I don’t want to go…” Blue sobbed in my ear. “But I have to.”

“I know,” I said through my own tears. “It’s okay.”

Blue closed her eyes and kissed me one last time. Then she turned and marched out the city gates with Dogmeat.

It wasn’t until much later that I understood that Blue was experiencing déjà vu. For now, I could do nothing except watch her march off to war.


	17. Blue Siren Call

I worked overtime to publish the next issue of _Publick Occurrences_. The article about Sanctuary Hills caused a buzz. “The Minutemen were back?  Ghouls and humans living side by side? Unbelievable.” For a minute, I got people in Diamond City to think about the world outside the Green Monster, and the possibilities.

I was proud of the latest issue, but I couldn’t share that feeling with the one person I wanted to the most.

Being with Blue made me think a lot about time. After all, she was the “Woman Out of Time.” I thought about how our perception of time is relative. Before I met Blue, time was...normal. Ordinary. Even boring. Then, during my time with Blue...it was like I’d lived a whole lifetime in the span of a month. Felt things that I didn’t know were possible to feel. 

And now that she was gone...time was slow. Excruciatingly slow. I’d glance at my watch every five minutes, thinking that an hour had passed. And the growing hole in my heart made time slow to a crawl.

After three weeks had passed without word, I questioned whether what we had was real. By the second month, I wondered if it might be over.

Which, you know, would have been fine. Just toss another one into my flaming trash heap of failed relationships. The heartache was hard to deal with, but I still had Nat and the paper. I’d just keep busy till I got over it.

But I couldn’t get over it. Every night, my gut protested. _This was different. It was real._

_..._

On a particularly lonesome night, I paid a visit to Home Plate. Blue had left me the keys for safekeeping, and to prevent McDonough from seizing it improperly while she was away. By then, it had been so long that I started to doubt that she’d ever come back. The thought was too painful, and was only eclipsed by the possibility that something had happened to her. 

The warehouse was dark inside. I switched on the lights. As expected, it was empty. At ground level, there was a simple stovetop, a workbench, and a dirty old couch that marked the beginnings of a living room. And of course, the bedroom upstairs. 

I climbed upstairs and laid on the bed. I thought back to all those wild nights with Blue, and smiled to keep my self-pity at bay. 

Next to the bed was a worn-out dresser. Being nosy, I opened the top drawer. Inside were a few casual outfits that Blue had collected. The drawer also had the cigar box that Blue used to stash her holotapes.

I took out the box and opened it. Most of the holotapes were ordinary: random journals of the dead, forgotten passcodes, or pre-War secrets that nobody cared about anymore. Then I found one labeled, “Hi honey!”

I don’t know what possessed me to take it home. My nosiness again, and maybe morbid curiosity. I popped the holotape into my terminal and listened:

> “Oops, haha. Keep those little fingers away... Ah, there we go. Just say it, right there, right there, go ahead. Ah, yay! Hi honey, listen...
> 
> I don’t think Shaun and I need to tell you how great of a mother you are. But, we’re going to anyway. You are kind, and loving, and funny, that’s right, and patient. So patient, patience of a saint as my mother used to say.
> 
> Look, with Shaun and us all being home together, it’s been an amazing year, but even so I know our best days are yet to come. There will be changes sure, things we’ll need to adjust to. I’ll rejoin the civilian workforce, you’ll shake the dust off your law degree.
> 
> But everything we do no matter how hard, we do it for our family.
> 
> Now say goodbye Shaun. Bye bye, say bye bye.
> 
> Bye honey, we love you.”

Oh boy, that did it for me. I couldn’t shut off the waterworks. I cried my eyes out for a good ten minutes. 

When I finally calmed down, I pondered what I had heard. From the sound of Nate’s voice, I could tell he was an honorable man. A kind and loving father. I understood why Blue loved him.

I kept wondering why Blue didn’t talk about Nate very much. Other than the couple times she brought him up, she rarely said anything about him unless I asked. Blue was private by nature, although I didn’t sense that she was purposely trying to hide anything from me. Maybe she didn’t want me to think he was overshadowing our relationship. Or maybe she was trying to leave the past behind.

But even in death, Nate was still present in Blue’s life. A silent presence, but a presence that loomed over everything Blue was doing. She was trying to do right by him, even if she didn’t always say so out loud.

It couldn’t be helped. She was his wife, and the mother of his child. It wasn’t a competition—she could hold more than one person in her heart. I simply accepted it. 

I hoped Blue could find Shaun soon.

...

_Three months later..._

I came back from a brief excursion to University Point for a follow-up story about its current state of affairs. It was still crawling with Institute synths, sadly. I barely made it out alive without getting lasered to death by those walking tin cans. Just another day at the office.

Of course, I wasn’t sure how I was going to publish said story. The motor for my printing press finally gave out a week ago. Nat and I could run the press by hand, but it wasn’t ideal, and it would take forever to print our usual run. Sigh, Nat was right. I shouldn’t have procrastinated on hiring a scavenger.

When I got back home, a mysterious crate was waiting outside my door. 

A soft blue glow emanated from the crate when I opened it. Inside the crate was a case of Nuka Quantums, enough to power a small Corvair. Also inside was a bottle of Rad-X (to counteract the Quantums, I presumed), a bundle of freshly sharpened pencils, notepads, printer’s ink, a camera, some comic books, and a tin full of caps. It must have taken weeks of scouring and collecting to gather everything.

I moved the items around and found something else at the bottom of the crate. Something big and heavy, wrapped up in a bright blue cloth. I took it out and unwrapped it. 

I couldn’t believe it. Inside was a replacement motor for my printing press.

...

“Naaattt!”

Nat jumped up from her sleeping bag, startled. “Whaaattt?!”

I hefted the crate inside the house, dropping it on the floor with a thud.

“Did you see who left this?”

“No, Piper. It wasn’t there when I got back from school. Why?”

“There...there’s all this stuff in here.” I took out everything one by one and set it on the floor, including the motor.

Nat came over to take a look. “Whoa, comics!” She picked up the stack of comics.

“Are there Grognaks in there? Gimme those.”

Nat snatched the comics away. “Hey! Aren’t you too old for that?”

“Am not!” I shot back, blowing her a raspberry. “I need it for, uh, research.”

“If you’re good, maybe I’ll let you borrow them after I’m done,” Nat teased. 

She rifled through the stack of comics. “Yup, some Grognaks...hmm, haven’t seen this issue before. And Silver Shroud. I thought that was just a radio show.” Nat had been following Kent Connolly’s broadcasts of the old Silver Shroud radio plays.

“It was, but it started out as a comic book series,” I explained. “Then it spun off into a TV show that Nick hates, heh.” 

A small scrap of paper fell out of one of the comics. Nat picked it up.

“Huh, a Silver Shroud calling card. Says ‘Scollay Square’ on the back. Where’s that?”

“Let me see.” Nat handed me the calling card. “Scollay Square... that’s where the Memory Den is. Which is in Goodneighbor...”

“You think this stuff came from Goodneighbor?” Nat asked.

“Maybe. There wasn’t a note or anything in here though.”

“Who gave the stuff then?”

“My guess was Blue because of the motor,” I said, pointing out the motor and the blue cloth. “She’s the only other person who knew about our motor problem. And I didn’t hire anyone yet to find this thing.”

“That’s weird... Why would Blue leave this stuff without a note?”

“I don’t know, but I’m going to find out.” I restocked my gear and ammo. “I’ll be back, Nat.”

“Wait! You’re going to Goodneighbor?”

“Yeah? What about it? I mean, it’s a long shot, but she might still be there.”

“Are you sure she wants to see you?”

I stopped. “What do you mean?”

“Look Sis, I like Blue. She’s one of the nicest girlfriends you’ve ever had. And I’m worried about her too. But she didn’t leave a note or anything. Maybe she doesn’t want you to be there.”

“What?! Why would she not want me to be there? Now I really have to go find out.” I finished gathering my things. 

Then I looked at Nat, who was watching me whirl around the house. Dammit, I was leaving her again. Without a plan for what I was doing.

I hugged Nat. “Sorry, Nat. I’m doing it again, aren’t I?”

“It’s ok, Piper. I’ll be fine. I just don’t want you to get hurt.”

I kissed her forehead. “Thanks Nat. What would I do without you? I’ll hurry back as soon as I can. You go straight to Nick’s if you need anything, you hear?”

“I know, Piper. Just be careful.”

...

I rushed through the back streets of the Commons to Goodneighbor, arriving there late in the evening.

I descended the dark smoky staircase into the Third Rail bar. The usual drunk patrons were slumming at the bar, where Whitechapel Charlie, the Cockney-accented robot barkeeper, kept them inebriated with a steady stream of alcohol. 

On stage, a siren purred her seductive brand of melodic jazz. 

Magnolia.

I hadn’t see Magnolia perform for some time. But each time was a distinct pleasure. I stared, mesmerized, as she sang her rapturous melodies. Even for a cynical reporter like me, it was impossible to look away. Her jet black hair brushing her bare shoulders, her sparkling red dress that accentuated every curve, her matching ruby red lips, her bright eyes twinkling in the spotlight. She was irresistible.

I applauded when she finished her last song. “Real great set this evening, ma’am. Of songs, that is. Is it warm in here?” 

Sigh, I had put my foot in my mouth again. Aww hell, what could I say? Magnolia’s hot.

“Oh thank you! A girl tries her best,” Magnolia said, feigning modesty. 

“You meant to say a real great set of boobs! Amiright? Amiriiiight?!”

Whoa, rude! I turned to face the source of the obnoxiousness. I expected to see a drunk slobbering idiot with a beer belly and a receding hairline. Instead, I saw a drunk, slobbering...

“Blue?”


	18. Punch-Drunk Mom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Added an "anti-Brotherhood of Steel" content tag to forewarn that BOS criticism will be expressed in this and coming chapters.

“Blue? Is that you?”

“Who you callin’ Blue? Oh, you makin’ fun of me because I wear this Vault suit all the time? Well, screw you! If you found a magic suit that hid all your bodily imperfections, and was more comfortable than your favorite pair of pajamas, you’d wear it all the fuckin’ time too!”

An angry drunk Blue screamed at me from a couch in front of the stage. In front of her was a beat-up coffee table with an assortment of empty liquor bottles, spilled drinks, and half-filled shot glasses.

“I’m...heading out now. Have fun, ladies.” Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted Magnolia leaving the bar. Darn, no encore.

“Oh great, now you set her off.” 

I turned around and came face to face with my second-least favorite mercenary.

“MacCready? What are you doing here?”

“I was here trying to drum up freelance work. But then your girlfriend rolled in and started drinking, and now she’s scared off all my potential customers.”

“Girlfriend? What makes you think she’s my girlfriend?”

“Lucky guess. Once she had a few drinks, she started singing dirty limericks. With your name in them. You wouldn’t believe how many sex positions she was able to rhyme with ‘Piper.’”

I drew my pistol. “MacCready, one more word out of you about dirty limericks with my name in them, and I swear to God I will shoot you in the face!”

MacCready raised his hands. “Look, I’m just telling you what happened, ok? No need to threaten my face... Piper, can you just talk to her, please? She’s been obnoxious all night.”

“Oh, fine.” I gave MacCready the death stare as I holstered my pistol.

I gingerly approached Blue. She was now standing on the coffee table, hugging herself gently and swaying.

“Blue? It’s Piper. Remember me?”

“Piiiippperrr. Purdy lady. You know, I never did a reporter till I met you. What about you? You ever bone a lawyer before?”

“Uh, can we compare notes later? In private?!”

“You still a reporter? ‘Cause I got a story for youuuu...”

“Sure, why don’t you tell me all about it once we go home...”

Blue ignored me. “You know, getting shot multiple times by a laser turret hurts like fuck. But you know what hurts even more? CHILDBIRTH! Worst pain EVER!!! And don’t let anyone tell you that an epidural will make all the pain go away. Ohhh no. THEY’RE LYING. It hurts when they put it in, and it don’t do shit if you got back labor...”

“Yes, I see how that would hurt more... wait, laser turrets? When did you...”

Blue continued her diatribe. “You know what hurts second most? BREASTFEEDING... Especially those first couple weeks, when the little booger keeps chewing on your nips with his little gums... JUST LATCH ON ALREADY!”

“Hoo boy, too much information, Blue...”

And for her grand finale... “You know what hurts third most? Stepping barefoot on those tiny little building bricks...”

This was getting out of hand. “Geez MacCready, how many drinks has she had?”

“Uh, all of them, I think. She’s been here for two days...”

“Two days?! That’s it, we’re getting her out of here.” 

“Yes, please! Get ‘er outta’ ‘ere!” Oh great, now Whitechapel Charlie was getting cranky.

“Pipe down, barkeep! I’m workin’ on it!” I screamed at Charlie.

“NO!” Blue shouted. “I’m not leavin’! You can’t make me!” Blue leapt from the table to the couch, then began jumping up and down on the couch. 

“Grab an arm, MacCready!” I motioned to him while positioning myself near Blue.

“Uh, ok. Where are we taking her?” 

“Anywhere but here... The Rexford! Come on!”

MacCready and I each grabbed an arm and dragged a punch-drunk Blue backwards on her heels out of the Third Rail.

...

“Ugh... Where am I?”

“The Hotel Rexford. You already had a room, so MacCready and I dumped you in here.”

Blue was laying down on her hotel bed, hung over and worse for wear. I had watched over her the previous night while MacCready went back to the Third Rail to prostitute himself for mercenary work. I spent the night sleeping uncomfortably in a chair, waking up occasionally to hold Blue’s hair back while she threw up into a chamber pot.

“Piper? What are you doing here? You—you shouldn’t be here.”

“I could say the same for you, Blue.” What did she mean I shouldn’t be here?

“Unngh...” Blue’s hangover made her dizzy. “How did you find me?”

“Nat found a clue in one of your comic books. From the care package you left at my door.”

“A clue? How... Ohhh...” Blue clutched her head. The information I gave her was too much to process.

I reached into my bag for an elixir bottle that I kept for emergencies. I added some water into the bottle, mixed it, then handed it to Blue. 

“Here, drink this. It’ll cure your hangover.”

I helped Blue sit up on the bed to a slumped position. She took a swig and immediately started gagging.

“Good God! What is this?!” Blue coughed uncontrollably and struggled to clear her throat.

“Refreshing beverage. Drink up, it’s good for you.” 

Blue forced herself to drink more and gagged again. “Ack, it burns! What the hell’s in it?”

“You don’t want to know.” I handed her a fresh bottle of purified water, and Blue chugged it down. She splashed the rest of the water on her face to wash off the remaining bits of sweat and vomit.

Blue shook out the cobwebs. “Ugh, my head’s starting to clear.”

“Good. Now, can you tell me why you’re here in Goodneighbor?”

“I—I came here to buy weapons.”

“Weapons? What for?”

“To take out Fort Hagen. That’s where Kellogg is, with my son. I planned to buy weapons and head out as soon as possible. But I decided to get some liquid courage before heading out, and well, I got stuck. Guess I needed a lot more courage than I thought.”

“You found Kellogg? When?”

“Well, Dogmeat found him. Weeks ago. I just followed his lead.”

“Wait, so you’ve known where he was the whole time? Why haven’t you gone after him? And why didn’t you contact me? I could have helped you.”

“I—maybe it’s best if I show you.”

Without ceremony, Blue began unzipping her Vault suit. The moment would have struck me as oddly intimate, were it not for the serious expression on her face. She slipped one arm out of its sleeve, exposing her left arm and torso. 

I gasped. A scattershot of scars, large angry bullet wounds, pelted her chest and back. The scars pierced her skin at regular intervals, narrowly missing her heart.

...

“Holy shit, Blue. What happened?”

“Kellogg did this. He rigged the fort full of lasers and machine gun turrets. No one can go near there without getting shot up like—like this.”

Blue put her suit back on and told me what happened:

> “Dogmeat and I followed Kellogg’s trail for three weeks. We followed his damn cigar butts all over the north and northwest, then back down south. Eventually, the trail led to Fort Hagen. 
> 
> “I went to scout the fort, but I must have wandered too close. Before I knew it, lasers were shooting at me from everywhere. I got shot pretty bad. Dogmeat too. I laid on the ground, covered in my own blood. I thought, ‘Well this is it. I’m dead. Game over.’
> 
> “There was a flash of light. I figured this was the part where someone either takes you to the pearly gates or the seven levels of hell. Hell in my case. I lost a lot of blood, and I passed out.
> 
> “Someone dragged me to cover and pumped me full of stimpaks. I opened my eyes, but my vision was blurry. I can’t be sure, but it looked like a man dressed in a long coat. And I must have been hallucinating, because I swore it was...Nate.”

“Nate? That’s impossible. Nate’s dead.”

“Yes, I know!” Blue said. “You saw him yourself. I—I can’t explain it. My head was really woozy at that point. Maybe it was wishful thinking.”

I understood that a part of Blue would always grieve for Nate. But to hallucinate about him when she was near death? I didn’t know what to make of it.

“Hmm... If there was someone, it could’ve been the Mysterious Stranger,” I theorized. “Nick’s been trying to track him down for years. No one knows what he looks like. Maybe he sort of looks like Nate?”

“Well whoever he was, I wasn’t in any condition to ask.” Blue leaned against the headboard and continued her story:

> “Anyway, he didn’t say anything, he just worked on me, applying stimpaks, field bandages, and a blood transfusion. Then he found my flare gun, the one I use to call the Minutemen for backup. He shot it in the air. Then he told me not to move, that help was on the way. Then he...vanished.
> 
> “Some time later, several Minutemen from a nearby settlement arrived. But the fort shot at them too. By the time they pulled me out, two of them were dead. Three others got shot, but they survived, luckily.
> 
> “I woke up the next day in the settlement. The Minutemen who rescued me told me what happened. They said they didn’t see anyone helping me, that I might have imagined it. Maybe I did. Anyway, I spent the next two weeks recovering from those laser turrets. Punctured lung, kidney. It’s a miracle they missed my heart, or I’d be a goner.”

I pounded my fist on the nightstand. “Dammit Blue! I should have been there.”

“Why, so you could get shot up too? No way I’d wish that on you.”

“Then why didn’t you contact me afterwards?”

Blue hesitated, then resumed her story:

> “What happened at the fort...it shook me up. I was trying to figure out how to crack it. I couldn’t risk the Minutemen again, not after losing two good people just to save me the first time. Our settlements are too weak—we simply don’t have the firepower to take it out.
> 
> “So when I was well enough to travel, I wandered. I asked around for help. I met some interesting characters on the road. I even asked that Brotherhood of Steel scout team for help. But their CO, Paladin Danse—he said they couldn’t help me, that they didn’t have the manpower. All that technology, and they couldn’t spare any...
> 
> “I wandered some more. Took odd jobs for money and helped a few more settlements get on their feet. But everywhere I turned to for help, everyone said no. They couldn’t help because they were too busy, or didn’t have the resources to spare. Or they didn’t care.
> 
> “You were right, Piper. About people turning a blind eye to the kidnapped, and to the people left behind. No one wanted to go with me on a suicide mission. And I couldn’t ask the Minutemen to help me with a personal vendetta.”
> 
> “So finally, I decided that the only way to breach the fort was to do it myself. I’d scrape together some Power Armor, stock up on heavy weapons, and charge in. Then I went to the Third Rail for one last drink, saw Magnolia, and—and it all went downhill from there.”

Magnolia, huh? Get a grip, Piper, no time for jealousy... 

Blue’s story was incredibly sad. That she encountered the same indifference to her plight that I’ve seen time and time again. I wished she didn’t have to experience that. And to conclude that her only recourse was to go it alone...

“Ok, Blue, so you decided to go alone on a suicide mission. But why did you leave the care package for me?”

“Actually, a caravaner delivered it from here, so you wouldn’t track me.” Blue sighed. “Guess I should have checked the comics first. Should’ve known better than to trust Kent...”

“Why? Why didn’t you want to see me?”

Blue looked down. “I regret being gone for so long. But I didn’t want to get you involved. Not when you have a life, and Nat to think about. And knowing how you felt about me wanting to kill Kellogg.” 

Then she looked at me, and the truth was written all over her face. “I wanted you and Nat to be ok. And I wanted you to know, that of all the horrible things that have happened lately, you—you’ve been the one good thing. I just didn’t want to drag you down with me.”

“Oh, Blue...” I leaned my head back against the chair, exasperated. All this time, not knowing. And not understanding why. 

I closed my eyes. The questions ran through my mind. What do I do? What do I want? _What was right? What was true?_

It didn’t take long for my gut to answer.

I opened my eyes. “Blue, that’s very noble of you. But don’t you think that I should have a say? It’s my business whether I choose to get dragged down into anything. And I have a stake in this too. My stake is you. Because—I love you.”

“No!” Blue burst into tears. “Please, don’t do this! Don’t follow me,” she pleaded. “Everyone I love is already dead, and if I lost you too... Please, please don’t do this!”

I put my hands on her shoulders. “No Blue, I have to. Because I know what I want. I want you.”

Blue pushed me away. She got off the bed and moved to the opposite wall. 

“No, you can’t! This is why I didn’t want to come back! You have a life, you have your sister and the paper. Don’t you see? That’s one of the things I love about you. You built a whole life, a whole career, out of nothing. And Nat—what about her? I can’t—I won’t let you throw your life away because of me.”

She was afraid. But she had to know. She had to understand the truth. My truth.

I went to her. Gently, I took her hand.

“I’m not throwing anything away. Before we met, it felt like the only things I had in my life were Nat and the paper. Before, I was sure that the paper would be the best thing I ever did in my life.”

“But being here with you now...now I know. Now I know there’s more. I’ve needed someone like you in my life for a long time, Blue.” 

I held her other hand. “So I have to go. Because what good is life, what good is staying out of the fight, if the woman I love dies?” 

She swallowed her tears. Then she embraced me, accepting it. I was never letting go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My fix-it chapter for one major oversight of FO4... IMHO having a player character who's a mom, without any in-game commentary whatsoever about childbirth or breastfeeding, is a damn shame (looking at you, Bethesda). xD
> 
> Important medical disclaimer: The views expressed about childbirth and breastfeeding represent the personal opinions of a drunk player character, and are not intended as professional medical advice. Talk to your ob/gyn, doula, and/or lactation consultant about the facts regarding childbirth, creating a birth plan, and establishing a breastfeeding routine. 
> 
> About Fort Hagen's laser turrets, those don't exist in-game. When I first wrote this, I accidentally leveled up the fort's firepower, having misremembered how that quest went. There are more accurate walkthroughs online, please don't use this fic as your playthrough guide, lol.
> 
> The ending borrows bits from Piper's 4th affinity dialogue, slightly modified and recontextualized for maximum feels.


	19. Mom on a Mission

Somewhere in the middle of an urban wasteland, two women warriors and their loyal dog marched through the Commonwealth on a mission. A mission to take out Fort Hagen, stop an evil mercenary of the Institute, and rescue the kidnapped son of the Sole Survivor of Vault 111...

No, no, no. I’ll need to rework that introduction for the article. Assuming we survived long enough for me to even publish it. 

The oversized gauntlets of my Power Armor was making it hard to write in my notepad properly. Besides having fingers the size of Brahmin sausages, my handwriting got jostled by the added motion of the armor’s pneumatic leg servos. I wrote bigger to compensate for my lack of dexterity, but I was only able to fit five words per page. I’d need at least ten notepads just to write this one article.

I’ll say this about Power Armor though. As much as it made me feel like a ridiculous giant robot, it also made walking a lot easier. We were making great time, and at this rate we would get to Fort Hagen in a couple of hours.

Blue eyed me skeptically from her own Power Armor suit as I kept trying to write my story, until finally I gave up. 

I put my notepad away. It was probably best not to write anything until I knew the ending first. So I reflected on the beginning, when Blue and I reunited.

...

We were in Blue’s room at the Hotel Rexford. Blue had finally accepted that I wasn’t going to back down from this fight. She hugged me, and for the longest time we just stood there holding each other.

It had been too long. Reunited at last, I felt relief. In an instant, my loneliness and heartache dissolved away. 

She kissed me, and those old feelings came flooding back. The rush, the high. Feelings that I had tucked away, not knowing whether I’d experience them ever again. 

“I missed you,” she whispered. 

“I missed you too, Blue.”

“I’m sorry I’ve been gone so long. I was scared to come back. I’m still scared. I don’t want anything to happen to you.”

“I’ve never been one to shrink away from a fight, Blue. If you’re charging into that fort, I’m going with you.”

“Piper, are you sure about this? That fort nearly killed me and Dogmeat, and it’s already killed two others. I don’t want to lose you because of my vendetta.”

“This isn’t just about a vendetta. This is about finding your son. And besides, this asshole shot at you. Nobody tries to kill the one I love and gets away with it.”

“Piper...”

“Look, Blue, this isn’t like the old days where someone from up high decided whose sons or daughters went to war. We decide for ourselves what battles to fight. And I’ve decided. You’re it.” 

I grabbed her shoulders. “And it won’t be like before. This time I’ll be with you, and you’ll be ready.” 

I looked in her eyes so she’d understand. _This is the truth. You’re ready._ She believed me.

“So, when are we going?” I asked.

“Right now.”

Blue kneeled down and pulled up the corner of a rug on the floor. She kicked the floorboards loose and pried them open.

Underneath the floor was a cache of assault rifles and magazines, missiles, mini nukes, boxes of shotgun shells, and several Minigun cartridges preloaded with thousands of 5mm rounds.

“Holy armageddon, Blue. You’re not messing around.”

“Here, grab these and follow me.” Blue handed me one duffle bag, then grabbed the rest. 

...

We left the Hotel Rexford and Goodneighbor with our stash and trudged to a small Red Rocket garage. As we approached the gas station, I heard a familiar bark.

It was Dogmeat! Dogmeat bounded out of the building and jumped on Blue. He barked happily and wagged his tail, then bumped into me as a greeting.

“Hey boy! You’re alive! And here!” I rubbed his head and he licked my face in return. I noticed a few scars that hadn’t yet been covered up by new fur. They didn’t seem to bother him when I pet him.

“Good boy! I got a nice treat for you.” Blue kneeled down and took out some wrapped Brahmin steaks and water. She placed these in bowls behind the front counter, where Dogmeat dined happily. 

“I asked Dogmeat to keep watch over the garage while I gathered the rest of my supplies in Goodneighbor,” Blue explained. “I left him enough food so he wouldn’t have to scavenge, but one can only live off of preserved dog food for so long.”

“That’s one loyal dog,” I said. “But what was he guarding?”

Blue motioned me to wait while she went inside and rolled up the garage door. I walked into a full workshop lined with repair stations, toolboxes, ammo caches, and machine parts. On one wall was a weapons rack, which displayed an assortment of combat rifles, heavy guns, and melee weapons. 

Then I turned around, and there they were.

Two imposing sets of Power Armor stood at attention, like soldiers from a pre-War Army recruiting poster. The metal monsters loomed over me, casting dark shadows across the garage floor.

“I’ve been scavenging armor parts—something I’m good at, as you know,” Blue explained. “I finished this suit and was working on a second. This one’s missing a helmet.”

“I’ll take that one! That is, if it’s ok with you.”

“Yeah it’s ok, but are you sure you want that one? I don’t want to give you my sloppy seconds.”

“No it’s fine, I don’t mind sloppy seconds... The suit! I don’t mind the suit. I don’t like helmets anyway.”

Blue chuckled, then invited me to enter the suit. I took a deep breath and cranked the wheel on its back. The Power Armor opened and beckoned me inside. I stepped in and let it envelop me.

...

“Just like old times, eh, Blue?”

“I was just thinking the same thing. Only more so,” she replied, gesturing to the giant Power Armor suits we were wearing.

We stopped a klick away from Fort Hagen to review tactics and finalize our preparations for the raid. Blue refreshed our Power Armor fusion cores and double-checked our weapons loadout. Missile launcher, Fat Man, Minigun, high-caliber sniper rifle with zoom scope, combat shotguns, automatic assault rifles, plasma grenades, and backup revolvers. And a shit ton of ammo. 

It was a heavy loadout, but our Power Armor could shoulder the load. We were practically a two-woman wrecking crew. With a loyal attack dog, who circled in the distance as a lookout.

“Are you sure Nat will be ok?” Blue asked.

“Yeah, I radioed Nick before we left to check on her. As long as he’s around, she’ll be fine. I didn’t give him too many details in case anyone was listening in, but he’s savvy enough to figure it out.”

“How are things with you and Nat?” She calibrated her rifle scope and peered through it as we talked.

“Better! She still gets into trouble once in a while, but she does it more for the right reasons rather than just to piss me off.”

Blue smiled. “I’m glad. She’s gonna be a little asskicker when she grows up. Like her sister.”

“Aww shucks.” I slapped a fresh magazine into my assault rifle.

Blue grew serious. “Piper, I don’t know what’s going to happen when we go in there. I might not be able to avoid killing Kellogg.”

“I know. About that... Hmm, maybe this isn’t the best time to bring this up.”

“No, what is it?”

“It’s about our argument from before, when we first broke into Kellogg’s house. I need to get something off my chest before we go in there. I just don’t know if you’ll want to hear it.”

Blue set down her rifle. “I’m listening.”

I took a deep breath. “I’ve been thinking about my father again, and how he was killed by Captain Mayburn. You were right before, this isn’t the same thing. Not exactly. But it doesn’t mean I can’t relate.”

“We’ve talked about it before, but I couldn’t _really_ talk about it. How it felt. I thought I was past it. Maybe I tried to forget about it. But it never really leaves you. The rage.”

Blue nodded for me to continue. “It was so long ago, and I was a different person. Younger. But I remember that rage, that bottomless rage against the one person who took everything that mattered away from me. And for a moment—just a moment—I let myself believe that I’d find a way to kill Mayburn.”

“Then I got real. I was sixteen, an orphan, with a three year-old sister to take care of. I knew firearms, but I was no match against a well-trained militia captain with both the militia and a bunch of raiders in his back pocket. Even if I managed to kill him, I’d either be killed myself, or tried and executed for murder. Then what would happen to Nat? Plus, I had no means, nothing. Nothing but my wits.”

“So I had to think—what did I really want? I wanted justice and redemption for my father. But more importantly, I wanted Mayburn stopped before my settlement could get sacked by raiders, before he could hurt more people. Mayburn didn’t have to die to accomplish this. Yeah, I had to pull their teeth, but I convinced the town to help. And you know the rest.”

Blue swallowed hard. “So, are you saying to find another way? To let Kellogg live?”

“Hell, no. He’s a psychopathic murderer. And he tried to kill my girlfriend. So all bets are off. Aside from whoever runs the Institute, he’s about as close to an irredeemable monster as you can get.”

“To be honest, I don’t see a way this ends well. All I’m saying is, don’t let your rage stop you from your goal. Don’t let him win by denying you what you really want. And that’s to find Shaun.”

Blue considered what I said. Then she nodded. “I hear you. Thank you for sharing this. I’m sure that wasn’t easy for you. And I’m sorry you had to go through all that.”

She gathered her weapons in one bag and handed me my loadout in another. 

“Piper, whatever happens, I’m glad you’re here with me.”

“Pffft... what do you mean whatever happens? This won’t be like last time. We’re going to beat him.”

We attempted to kiss, but our Power Armor clanked in the way. Then we tried to hug, but our clunky suits blocked that too.

“Uh, ok, kiss later.” We exchanged elbow dabs instead.

...

We marched onward to the fort and stopped just outside the turrets’ firing range. The pre-War citadel loomed far in the distance.

Blue turned to me and smirked. I knew that look. It meant she wasn’t going to back down from a fight. She was ready. And so was I.

She put on her helmet. Its cold, unfeeling eyes stared back at me. Then she raised her missile launcher and fired.

Where was the old Blue? The quiet, reserved, cautious little ninja who took pains to avoid a direct assault? 

She wasn’t here. Instead she was Blue the robot. The mom on a mission. She stood tall in her Power Armor and fired a barrage of missiles at the laser turrets. Turrets exploded on the fort’s rooftop from the direct hits. Then we were showered by laser beams and machine gun fire.

Stealth and subtlety went straight out the window. Blue wasn’t messing around anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Temporary note (5/9): It's likely that I'll post the next chapter in 1-2 days. Because we're so close to Kellogg! And I'm anxious to get to the big battle scene too.


	20. The Blue Widow's Revenge

Explosions rocked the rooftops of Fort Hagen. Laser beams flashed at all angles in a lethal laser light show, while heavy machine gun turrets spewed an endless stream of bullets in our direction. 

Blue paid no mind to the turrets that tried to kill us. Bullets and lasers pecked at her Power Armor, but she didn’t move—the armor made her feel invincible. Standing tall and resolute, she calmly reloaded her missile launcher and fired again at the roof. The radius of the exploding missile took out one or two laser turrets at a time. She continued this pattern, crouching and shifting her position slightly while she reloaded, then standing again to fire. 

I used a different tactic and stuck to the ground game. I darted around everywhere, scrambling to confuse the turrets as much as I could. My Power Armor was a conspicuous target, but it also afforded me more speed. I advanced incrementally while spying for targets. Then I popped up to take out any turrets that I’d spotted on the ground. My assault rifle chopped down the fort’s defenses, one turret at a time.

Blue maintained a steady barrage on the roof until she used up her entire cache of missiles. Then she dropped her missile launcher and advanced her position. She switched to a sniper rifle and destroyed the remaining stragglers, changing her position in between shots.

I kept attacking the ground turrets. My Power Armor took some damage, but the turrets’ rate of fire was diminishing. I felt the tide turning in our favor and pressed our advantage. Spotting more turrets closer to the fort, I darted from cover to cover and attacked. 

Blue cleared out the last roof turret, then raced towards me to the entrance. She caught up just as I blew up the final turret guarding the entrance.

“Nice work,” Blue complimented. “Go team.” We fist bumped our Power Armor gauntlets with a loud clank.

“We’re not done yet, Blue. What do we do about that?” I pointed at the reinforced steel door blocking the entrance.

“Stand back. Get ready.” I reloaded my assault rifle. Blue opened her duffle bag and took out a Fat Man. 

“Ohhh shit.” I backed up further to stay out of the mini nuke’s blast radius. Blue loaded a mini nuke, then hoisted the gigantic projectile launcher onto her Power Armor’s shoulders.

KABOOM!!! A small mushroom cloud exploded from the door. My Geiger counter shrieked, and I was pushed back slightly by an intense shockwave of heat and air. The smoke and fire cleared, revealing a gaping hole where the entrance was. From inside, evil red eyes peered out at us.

“Looks like we got company. Synths!”

Soon, laser beams shot out from inside the fort. Blue stood her ground and calmly reloaded another mini nuke. She fired—the nuclear football sailed straight into the entrance and down the hall. A huge fireball shot out from inside. She fired one more nuke for good measure, melting the rest of the welcome party.

The explosions died down and left an eerie silence, save for our ticking Geiger counters. Blue dropped the Fat Man and took out her minigun from the duffle bag. The minigun did a test spin as she gripped it in front of her.

“Geez, Blue. You sure know how to make an entrance.”

She gave me a thumbs-up and whistled. Dogmeat bounded out of his hiding place. He barked and circled around us happily, eager to join the fight. Together, we ventured into darkness.

...

We crossed the threshold into the nuked entryway. Our Power Armor boots crunched the irradiated corpses of Gen-1 synths that had guarded the entrance. Dying flames licked the fort’s scorched and melted walls.

“If it isn’t my friend, the frozen TV dinner. The last time I saw you, you were cozying up to the peas and apple cobbler.” Kellogg’s low sandpaper voice taunted us over an intercom.

“That asshole!” Blue was furious.

“He’s just messing with you Blue. Don’t let him get to you.” Dogmeat barked in agreement.

His taunts continued. “Sorry your house has been a wreck for over 200 years. But I don’t need a roommate. Leave.”

“You first!” Blue shouted angrily.

We proceeded into the bunker’s maze of rooms and hallways. Gen-1 synths and hidden laser turrets attacked us as we went. Blue mowed them all down with her minigun. My assault rifle caught the flankers and the stubborn synths that refused to die. Dogmeat charged and knocked down the more aggressive synths.

“Hmph. Never expected you to come knocking on my door.” Ugh. Kellogg again. “Gave you 50/50 odds of making it to Diamond City. After that? Figured the Commonwealth would chew you up like jerky.”

“Well I’m full of surprises,” Blue taunted back.

“I can see that,” Kellogg replied. “Look. You’re pissed off. I get it. I do. But whatever you hope to accomplish in here? It is not going to go your way. You’ve got guts and determination, and that’s admirable. But you are in way over your head in ways you can’t possibly comprehend.”

“I really wish he’d shut up,” I complained. I killed a few more synths before my assault rifle ran out of ammo. I switched to my shotgun.

“Seriously. I wonder how many of his enemies killed themselves so they could stop listening to his voice.” Blue dropped her empty minigun and switched to her backup assault rifle. 

Kellogg had more to say. “It’s not too late. Stop. Turn around and leave. You have that option. Not a lot of people can say that.” 

We kept going. We were getting close. 

A hundred synth kills later, we reached what must have been a fancy old general’s office. It was lined with both old colonial furniture and modern Institute-style furniture. A clean, comfortable bed was placed in the middle of the room. This must have been where Kellogg slept. 

We heard Kellogg’s voice again, from a door on the other side of the room.

“Ok, you made it. I’m just up ahead. My synths are standing down. Let’s talk.”

Blue and I reloaded. Blue checked on Dogmeat while I checked my Power Armor readings. Some torso and arm damage, and a few hot spots from lingering radiation. Otherwise it was holding up. 

“Ready?” Blue asked. I nodded, and Dogmeat barked. We marched onward.  
...  
“And there she is, the most resilient woman in the Commonwealth.”

And there he was. Kellogg. Bald, bearded, coal black eyes, clad in a brown leather jacket. Typical asshole merc look. With a long menacing scar that crossed from his forehead, over his left eye, and down his left cheek. I wondered what fight he provoked to earn that trophy. Not that I’d ever have a chance to ask. 

Dangling from his hand was a huge magnum revolver. The one that killed Nate.

The room we entered was an old Army command center filled with large inoperable pre-War computer terminals. The room smelled of cigar smoke, San Francisco Sunlights. A crew of Gen-1 synths lined the perimeter of the room, all armed with laser rifles. Their rifles were pointed down. For now, Kellogg was true to his word.

I stayed behind near the entrance. A synth stood next to me, not moving. I kept it in my peripheral view, knowing it could turn on me at any moment.

Kellogg himself stood at the far end of the room, flanked by two synths. 

“You came a long way, let’s hear it.” Blue approached him, Dogmeat following behind her. She took off her helmet so he could see who came for him. She towered slightly over him in her Power Armor.

He didn’t flinch. “So, here we are. Funny, huh?”

“Enough!” Blue screamed in his face. “Just... Where is my baby?”

“Hmph. Lady, I’m just a puppet like you. My stage is a little bigger, that’s all. Shaun’s a good kid. So maybe he’s not quite a ‘baby’ anymore. But he’s doing great. Only... he’s not here. He’s with the people pulling the strings.”

“Goddammit you mercenary motherfucker. Where IS MY SON?!”

Kellogg paced slowly in a circle, his arms extended. If he was trying to provoke us, it was working. On me, anyway.

“What’s the cliché? ‘So close but yet so far away?’ That’s Shaun. But don’t worry. You’ll die knowing he’s safe, and happy. A bit older than you expected, but ah well. At least he’s in a loving home. The Institute.”

Shit. So he was already gone. And in the most unfindable place in the Commonwealth.

Blue stared at him with hatred in her eyes. “The Institute? Well I’ll find him, no matter where he is. Nothing will stop me!”

“God, you’re persistent,” Kellogg scoffed. “I give you credit. It’s the way a parent should act. The way I’d be acting if I were in your place, I like to think. Even if it is useless.” 

Kellogg stepped back. “But I think we’ve been talking long enough. We both know how this has to end. So, you ready?”

“Oh, I’m ready,” Blue snarled. “Question is—are you?!”

In that instant, Kellogg dissolved from view. Blue raised her assault rifle and fired, but the spray of bullets hit empty air. 

Blue ducked and retreated behind the desks. We were peppered with blue laser beams and .44 caliber shots. Blue’s power armor registered multiple hits, and my own armor took a beating. 

Predictably, the synth next to me pivoted and aimed its laser rifle at my head. Before it had a chance to shoot, I swung my shotgun hard across its head.

Haaargh! My bash tore a hole from its eye socket to its now-missing jaw, and sparks flew everywhere. The synth teetered over and died. 

Wow, Power Armor is awesome! I thought. I honestly didn’t know I had the strength to do that!

I backed into the doorway. Before I could tell Blue to retreat, the door slammed closed behind me. 

“Shit, Blue, it’s shut tight! The bastard trapped us!” I scrambled for cover, though I had no way to tell where he’d flank me.

I lost track of Dogmeat in the ruckus. I caught glimpses of him ferociously tearing at the legs of the other synth minions. Blue ducked behind a desk and shot everywhere in the vain hope that she could hit the invisible Kellogg. 

“Come out, you motherfucker!” Blue screamed. I thought I heard him laughing at us. Metal flew off her left arm as Kellogg’s .44 revolver ripped open her armor.

“We’re sitting ducks out here, Blue!” I yelled. “We gotta do something!” 

From my abysmal cover, I took out as many synths as I could, while scanning the command room for the refracting distortions of Kellogg’s stealth field.

Blue crawled to the desk across from me. She lobbed two plasma grenades towards the middle of the room, hoping that the explosions would catch something. As the grenades exploded, we heard a grunt in the distance. More synths fell or melted into green goo. I still couldn’t see Kellogg.

A grenade appeared out of nowhere and blew up in front of me. There was a white flash, and I flew off my feet. I landed on the ground with a heavy metal thud, stunned. I got the wind knocked out of me, and the room was spinning.

“PIPER!” Blue yelled. I saw her moving sideways out of my view. Then she fell back into my view. One of her power armor legs hung off the frame, mangled beyond repair. 

I still couldn’t get up. Things were happening around me and without me. 

Well, there are worse ways to go, I thought. Not many, but some. Although this wasn’t exactly how I wanted the story to end. Both of us done in by a cheating, obnoxious, long-winded, psychopathic mercenary. I closed my eyes.

When I opened them, I saw another figure falling to the ground. The figure was half-formed. Pieces of a man with leather jacket and pants glitched in and out of my vision. Time moved in slow motion as an angry German Shepherd pounced gracefully on him, breaking the illusion of invisibility.

“Dogmeat!” I awkwardly rolled over on my side and aimed my shotgun. In my peripheral vision, I saw Blue doing the same. We exchanged shots at the sprawling Kellogg, wounding him. Dogmeat gnashed his teeth on his limbs and dragged Kellogg to his master.

Blue got up, dragging her damaged left leg behind her. I managed to stand up as well. Kellogg’s grenade had blown out the seams in my leg armor, and it barely held itself together. Blue, Dogmeat, and I towered over the prone mercenary. 

Kellogg was bleeding everywhere. His skin was badly burned by Blue’s plasma grenades.

“Well played.” Kellogg coughed up blood, conceding the inevitable. “Didn’t think I’d be done in by three bitches.”

“Dogmeat’s a ‘he,’ you asshole!” I sneered. “But I’m sure he’ll take that as a compliment!”

Blue kneeled down and grabbed his collar. She smashed her Power Armor fist across his jaw.

“Where is my son?!” Blue screamed at his face.

“I told you, he’s with the Institute.”

“Where is the Institute?!”

“Like I’ll tell you, frozen dinner. I knew I should’ve killed you in the Vault. Along with your pathetic husband.”

“His name was Nate, you motherfucking piece of shit!” 

She hit him again and again. A gash tore across his old scar, and his face turned purple. His left eye swelled up, flashing an artificial red light from its ruptured pupil. 

Then she stood, dropping her rifle, and slung around another weapon. A frozen monstrosity billowing with frosted mist. The Cryolator.

“Oh, that’s poetic,” he quipped, spitting up more blood. “You think that up all by yourself?”

“Last chance, you fucking murderer,” Blue threatened. She aimed straight at Kellogg’s heart. 

“Let it go, you’ve already lost him. Give the old man my regards.”

“You can tell him yourself, you son of a bitch.” 

Blue pumped four cryo rounds into Kellogg. The rounds froze him quickly, spreading ice crystals across his body. His body turned ice blue, then white. 

Then unexpectedly, his body shattered into a million pieces. Crystallized innards scattered across the floor. Then the pieces thawed into a nauseating array of gory meat bits.

Horrified, we stared at the ground, now covered in Kellogg’s curdled remains. Even Dogmeat was stunned. 

“Ugh,” I muttered. “I know you wanted revenge, but that’s...gross.”

“Yeah,” Blue agreed, nauseated. “I...didn’t expect that to happen. You okay?”

“Yeah. You?”

“I’m fine.” Blue shook her left leg, and her shredded leg armor clattered uselessly to the floor. 

Blue knelt down and picked through the bloody mess. She uncovered artificial parts drenched in blood. Cybernetic parts.

“All this...tech. You were barely human.” 

Blue gathered Kellogg’s cybernetics one by one and put them in a spare bag. Replacement joints, an artificial heart, muscle grafts, mechanical organs, a cranial implant, metallic eyes, and titanium plates fused to shattered bone fragments.

I vomited a little in my mouth. It was disgusting, but we needed to collect every bit of Institute tech we could find.

I looked around the command room for other things to salvage. Dogmeat sniffed at a pristine white computer with a round screen that stood out from the other ruined machinery.

“Blue, you didn’t happen to find a password in that mess, did you?”

“Here, catch.” Blue tossed a blood-soaked holotape at me. I caught it, but not before some blood splashed onto my face. I suppressed my revulsion long enough to load the holotape. It booted the computer with Kellogg’s password. A log entry appeared on the screen.

“Hey Blue, come look at this.” Blue read the screen over my shoulder. “Says here that Shaun was delivered to the Institute. That confirms Kellogg’s story.”

Blue was not happy. She turned and walked away, looking defeated. Her face sunk deep into the collar of her wrecked power armor.

“I failed you, Nate. I failed you.”

I begged to differ, but I reconsidered when I looked at the hell we had wrought in the fort’s command room. War never changes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This probably doesn't matter to anyone else but me, but the part where Kellogg turned into a puddle of mush after getting shot by the Cryolator really happened! I mean, it happened in my game...you know what I mean. I think the weapon has a built-in "Bloody Mess" perk. It surprised the hell out of me at the time, so I had to write it down. 
> 
> The rest of this is totally made up and not at all accurate to the gameplay, except for bits here and there and borrowing Kellogg's endless monologue. It seemed more fun to channel Linda Hamilton beast mode à la "Terminator: Dark Fate" (or really, all the Terminator movies).


	21. Of Gods and Monsters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content note: Blue and Piper discuss religious upbringings in this chapter. It’s from an interfaith perspective, and while I’ve kept specifics purposely vague, I wanted to mention this upfront. 
> 
> This chapter’s also BOS critical.

We emerged onto the roof of Fort Hagen into sweet daylight. The skies were wonderfully clear and bright. We passed smoldering turrets and headed down the gangway to the ground. 

Blue and I exited our Power Armor suits and abandoned them. They were useless now, nothing more than empty husks with shredded scrap metal stuck around the frames, thanks to our prolonged firefight with Kellogg. A welcome breeze cooled my sweat-drenched skin. 

My reverie was interrupted by a dull roar overhead. The shadow of something big darkened the skies. We looked up, and I was blinded briefly by sunlight reflecting off metal. Dogmeat barked excitedly at the unfamiliar sight. 

“People of the Commonwealth! Do not interfere. Our intentions are peaceful. We are the Brotherhood of Steel.” The airship loomed over us.

“Have you ever seen anything like that? The airship?” I exclaimed, awestruck. “God, they must have an entire army on that thing!”

Blue stared at the airship and said nothing as it floated by gracefully. I was surprised by her reaction, though—not awed like I was, but uneasy. Angry even. It crossed my mind that she probably saw airships everyday during her time. I suddenly felt embarrassed by my own reaction. But frankly, anyone else would have reacted the same as me. In this century, a flying airship was an event.

A few seconds later, Blue’s Pip Boy radio crackled to life. 

“This is Paladin Danse on Frequency Nine Five. All Brotherhood of Steel units are to return to Cambridge Police Station immediately for reassignment.” The message repeated.

“Dammit. It’s Danse. Just what I need right now.” Blue turned the radio off. 

“What’s wrong, Blue? I thought you joined the Brotherhood.”

I recalled something that happened before Blue left Diamond City. I had accompanied her on a Brotherhood mission to clear out super mutants in an apartment building. We were eyeballs deep in meatbags and severed heads, and Blue complained bitterly about Danse’s subordinate Knight Rhys, who had given her the assignment. We ended up ditching the job and making out in Blue’s house.

“I’m not part of the Brotherhood, I just moonlight for them. Ok, yes, technically I did join them... But I thought that they would help me find my son. But all they did was make me fetch their useless junk and do their dirty work. I _begged_ them to come help me take this damn fort, but Danse said he couldn’t spare the manpower.”

“Now, they decide to make this grand spectacular entrance into the Commonwealth with their big fancy ship and their big fancy army. And for what? So they can take over the world and remake it in their own image?!”

Blue was a lot more perceptive than I gave her credit for. I was also skeptical of the East Coast Brotherhood’s motives, although the jury was still out on them in my book. But at the moment, I regretted hitting a nerve with Blue. 

“I’m sorry, Blue. I don’t know what to say.”

Blue sighed. “No, I’m sorry, Piper. I didn’t mean to snap at you. I don’t want to deal with the Brotherhood right now. I just want to find my son.” 

Tears welled up in her eyes. “Let’s just go home.”

...

Once the airship had passed, we started hiking back to Diamond City. We didn’t talk the whole way back. 

Even though we had “won,” our mood was low. It felt like a hollow victory. We had fought hard, but Shaun wasn’t there. We didn’t know if there would be a next time. It would kill most people to come so close to their goal and not reach it. I didn’t know what this setback would do to Blue.

On our way back, we were attacked by a pair of Stingwings. Dogmeat defended us, and I leapt behind a rock to pick them off with my pistol. I expected the usually cautious Blue to do the same. Instead, she stood her ground and brandished a sword. I didn’t notice her having it before—she must have found it while we were apart and stashed it away. Maybe she planned to use it on Kellogg, as a backup? It was a moot point now, but I was still afraid to ask.

One Stingwing caught Blue in the shoulder. Its venom worked quickly, and Blue swayed momentarily as her vision blurred. But the sting pissed off Blue even more, and she swung wildly at the monster wasps. The ungraceful tactic worked—Blue cleaved one Stingwing cleanly in half. She staggered and swung at the other Stingwing and caught its wing. It spiraled towards the ground. Still disoriented, Blue angrily hacked the bug into tiny pieces.

I think you got ‘em, I thought to say. But I held my tongue and let her vent her frustration. Blue finished fricasseeing the bugs, her sword dripping with mutated insect goo.

“FUCK!” Blue screamed.

Dogmeat looked at me, concerned. “Just give her some space, boy,” I whispered.

I wondered if Blue’s reckless streak would continue when we spotted a pair of Deathclaws. To my relief, Blue decided against engaging them. We steered clear of further trouble the rest of the way and made it back home in one piece.

...

As we descended the ramp into Diamond City, the talk of the town was the Brotherhood airship. 

“What are they doing here? What do they want?” I overheard the anxious conversations of the residents, all wondering the same thing as we were.

Those questions would have to wait. For now, we were both exhausted. Blue looked distraught, and I was afraid to leave her alone. 

“Blue? Why don’t you come over to my place for a little bit? Let’s talk.”

Nat was outside selling papers. “Piper!”

“Hey Nat,” I greeted. I hugged Nat gently, unable to hide my fatigue. Dogmeat woofed and Nat petted her friend’s head. “Everything ok with you?”

“Yeah Sis, me and Nick hung out. What happened? Did you find your son, Blue?” Nick must have told her what we were doing.

Blue looked glumly at Nat and shook her head. 

“Oh. I’m sorry,” Nat said. She climbed down from her box and gave Blue a hug. Blue was moved by Nat’s compassion and teared up a bit as she hugged her back. I was moved myself, witnessing this.

“It’s ok, Nat.” Blue said. “We just missed him. But thanks for asking.”

“Nat, Blue and I are going inside,” I told her.

“Ok, me too. It’s a little slow today, but I’m mostly done with this stack.” 

It was growing dark, so I was glad we could all be together again under one roof. I let everyone in, then fetched Nat and Dogmeat some snacks and clean water from my non-functioning fridge. The two of them huddled together in Nat’s corner under the stairs. I cracked open a Nuka Cola for myself. 

“You want one too?” I asked Blue. 

“No thanks. I could use a beer though.” I tossed her a Gwinnett. She opened it and took a swig. “Mmm, warm beer. Maybe I should try freezing it with the Cryolator.”

“Oh, are they better cold?”

“Much better. Though judging by what happened to Kellogg, the bottle would probably explode.” She managed a grim smile.

I had a hard time shaking the image of Kellogg’s gruesome remains spilling all over the floor. Apparently, Blue’s revenge on Kellogg was the first field test for the prototype Cryolator. I hoped it was the last.

“Can I get another one, Piper?” While I was reminiscing, Blue had already finished her beer.

“Oh, uh, sure. That was fast.” I opened her another one. “Better take it easy, Blue.”

Blue took another big swallow, then groaned and rolled the bottle over her forehead. She set down the beer and sat slouched on my couch. 

I sat next to her. “You wanna talk?”

Blue shook her head. “Maybe later. I need some time.”

“Ok.” I put my arm around her shoulders and pulled her in for a hug. She wrapped her arms around my waist and rested her head against me. We relaxed with each other, just breathing. I was reluctant to let go.

Eventually, Blue turned to me. “You mind if I rest here for a while? I don’t feel like walking the extra 90 feet to Home Plate.”

“Sure thing. I’ll be upstairs if you need me.” We kissed, then I got up and Blue sprawled herself across my couch. Part of me was tempted to cozy up next to Blue. But she looked dead tired, so I thought it best to let her rest. And selfishly, I wanted to sleep in my own bed. I kissed her forehead, and Blue squeezed my hand before I headed upstairs. 

By the time I cleaned myself up, Blue was already fast asleep. I crashed into bed and conked out.

...

When I woke up the next morning, Blue was gone. Nat and Dogmeat were still snuggled together asleep in Nat’s sleeping bag. 

I changed and headed downstairs to eat breakfast. Blue had left a note on my table. _Gone to church. —B._

I crossed the street and entered the All Faiths Chapel. A couple of worshippers were praying in one pew. Blue was sitting away from them at the edge of the other pew. Her head was bowed down, but she wasn’t praying. Her eyes were open, and she stared at her hands. They clutched her chain necklace strung with Nate’s dog tags and their wedding rings.

“Mind if I join you?” I asked. She nodded, and I sat next to her. I handed her a sweet roll, which she ate.

“Thanks,” Blue smiled at me briefly. “Reminds me of when we first traveled together. Am I allowed to eat in church?”

“I think you’re fine. Pastor Clements is pretty forgiving.”

“That’s good.” She rubbed Nate’s dog tags with her thumbs. “I don’t know how long I’ve been in here. I woke up after a few hours and couldn’t go back to sleep.”

“Sorry. My couch isn’t the most comfortable.”

“No it wasn’t the couch. I just couldn’t sleep. Thinking too much... I figured I hadn’t tried prayer yet, so I came here.”

“Didn’t know you practiced. Was your family religious?”

Blue hesitated. “Not really, but I...um, sort of grew up in a mixed household. One side was polytheistic, the other monotheist. It seems weird and confusing on the surface, but they managed to coexist. By not talking about it.”

“Doesn’t seem that weird to me,” I shrugged, “Although you seem embarrassed by it.”

“Do I? Sorry, old habits. I learned early to avoid talking about anything that made me more ‘different’ from the neighborhood kids.”

Different? Was I missing something? “Sorry, Blue, I utterly fail to understand what makes you different. Freedom of religion was the nation’s founding principle along with freedom of the press, last I checked.”

“Well, that’s progress then!” she exclaimed sarcastically, which left me even more confused.  “Anyway, what about you? Did you grow up believing in anything?”

“Sure, I was raised with a belief at my settlement,” I said. “But I can’t honestly say I’m practicing it now.”

“Oh that’s right. You follow Atom now.”

“Ah yes, Atooommm!” I pantomimed the fake vision of Atom that I had to save myself from the Bunker Hill cultists. “Good ol’ Atom... No, definitely not. I guess truth-seeking is my religion now. Of course, every religion says that...”

“Maybe I like to believe that all religions are inherently true, they just have different pieces of the Truth. So in theory, this chapel’s perfect for me—I have my pick of Who to pray to. I didn’t get anywhere though. My mind drifted off to Shaun and...” She gestured to Nate’s dog tags. 

“It’s ok, you don’t have to hide him for my benefit.” I suddenly remembered that I still had Nate’s holotape. I resolved to give it back to Blue soon, when the time was right.

Blue nodded. “You’re too kind... Anyway, did you ever figure out a headline for your article?” Blue asked.

“Pardon?”

“The one you were writing on the way to Fort Hagen.”

“Oh, right. I thought I’d go with something like ‘Murderer and Kidnapper Gets Brains Blown Out by Avenging Parent.’”

“Hmm, a little wordy. What about something like, ‘Mad Mom Murders Murdery Merc?’”

“Too alliterative, and ‘murdery’ isn’t an adverb. But clever! Sigh. It’d be a great ending if we didn’t still have the biggest mystery in the Commonwealth to solve...”

“Yeah, don’t remind me. I put that bastard in hell, where he belongs...” Blue glanced around, feeling guilty for swearing in the chapel. “I thought I’d feel better about avenging Nate. But instead, I feel like such a failure. I let Nate down, and I let you down.”

“Me? How’d you let me down?”

“You warned me about this, and I didn’t listen. I killed him. And he took his secrets about the Institute with him.”

“Blue, that was a very difficult situation. He nearly killed you—again—not to mention Dogmeat and me. And you gave Kellogg plenty of chances to talk. At least he told us upfront that Shaun wasn’t there. He just wouldn’t give up the location of the Institute.”

Blue thumped her fist on the pew. “No, he wouldn’t, and he had no regrets about all the lives he’s ruined. So I killed him. And more than just killed him. I destroyed him. Because he didn’t deserve to live. I stooped to his level and became a monster. Just like him.”

“Blue, you’re nothing like him. You stopped a dangerous murderer that no one else could. Who knows how many more good people he would have killed, if he were still alive?”

“It doesn’t matter now that I’ve blown our only lead to the Institute. Now what do we do?”

“I don’t know... I’ve been investigating these creeps for over a year now. I can’t figure out how Kellogg fits into this. They seem to have no shortage of synths to do their dirty work, yet they kept Kellogg the human toaster around as a merc-for-hire. And they sent Shaun to live with him. Why?”

Blue sneered. “It disgusts me, the thought that Kellogg might have had anything to do with raising Shaun...”

Suddenly, her voice cracked, and she started crying, burying her head in her hands. 

“I just want my son back... I want him back...”

I put my arm around her, and she leaned into me. “I’m so sorry, Blue, this whole thing must be horrible for you. I just don’t get why Kellogg would raise Shaun at all? When you’ve got the whole Institute to do that? Something doesn’t add up.”

Blue wiped her tears. “I don’t know Piper. All I know is that we’re stuck again.” 

She looked at me, despondent. “I’m losing hope. What if I never find him?”

“Don’t think that way, Blue. I still believe in you. There must be a way. We just need help to get unstuck. Let’s talk to Nick, maybe he can help us sort the pieces. Kellogg’s pieces...”

...

The blood-stained duffle bag landed on Nick’s desk with a nauseating squish.

“What’s this?” Nick asked, startled.

“It’s Kellogg. Or what’s left of him,” Blue explained. “Turns out he was more machine than man.”

“I don’t understand. Where’s your son? What happened?” 

“I, uh...we didn’t make it in time.” Blue hung her head. “Kellogg was working with the Institute and he...he gave them Shaun...”

“I’m sorry, friend,” Nick consoled. He put a hand on Blue’s shoulder. “Truly. That makes things...considerably more complicated. And I’m guessing he wasn’t the ‘surrender and talk’ type, was he?”

“No,” Blue said. “He wouldn’t tell us where the Institute is.”

“Damn, then we got no leads then. Nothing.”

“Shit, Nick,” I swore. “Not exactly the answer we were hoping to get from you.”

“Sorry Piper, I’m a detective, not a miracle worker.”

“You really don’t know anything, Nick?” Blue asked. “About how to get in? You came from there after all.”

“No synth does. Security protocols strip those memories out, remember? Besides, I woke up in a junk pile ages ago. Just another discarded prototype. The Institute hasn’t come calling since. I’m sorry.”

“Kellogg would have known,” I said. “But he’s, you know, dead. After being frozen and rethawed into a million pieces.”

“I...picked up the pieces after I killed him,” Blue said, pointing to the duffle bag. “We hoped you could make sense of the tech. This is all that’s left of him.”

Nick unzipped the bag and poked around inside. I covered my nose, queasy from the smell of old blood and decomposing guts that were still attached to Kellogg’s cybernetic parts.

“Cybernetics, huh?” Nick said. “We may have just won the lottery.”

“You’re talking crazy here Nick. Got a fault in the ole’ subroutines?” I joked.

“Look.” Nick pulled out the cranial implant. Part of Kellogg’s brain was still attached to it. “I recognize this part. It’s similar to implants that synths have. Forms part of their memory processor. I assume this was attached to his head?”

“I guess,” Blue shrugged. “I couldn’t get a good look with him constantly shooting at us in stealth mode.”

“Well with this, maybe we don’t need the man after all. That old merc’s brain just might have all the secrets we need to know. And I know just the person to get a dead brain to sing. Doctor Amari, at the Memory Den.”

“The Memory Den? Oh, that place in Goodneighbor?” Blue asked.

“Yep, that’s the one. Bring this implant to the Memory Den. I’ll head out there soon and introduce you to Amari.”

“We'll meet you there, Nick,” I said, “We just need to gather our things.”

“Sounds good. You two stay out of trouble. Don’t worry. We’re gonna get your boy back. Just a few more steps...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is partly a playthrough fic, so in my playthrough from 4 years ago, my character really did chop up a bunch of bugs in frustration after leaving Fort Hagen (I really get into roleplay, lol). Also I had Blue visit the All Faiths Chapel, being at her wits’ end after killing off Kellogg without getting Shaun back. 
> 
> It later morphed into a discussion about religion in pre- and post-War Fallout. It made sense to call back to Piper’s 2nd affinity dialogue when she talked about investigating the Children of Atom. I decided to have Blue bring up religion here as a hint that she experienced racism and discrimination back in the day. Maybe not religious discrimination per se (although it’s possible), but awareness that she was different from the neighborhood. And it goes over Piper’s head because post-War society is post-racial, ironically. Because nuclear annihilation also annihilated racial distinctions, I guess? 
> 
> Finally, I want to give a heads-up that I will likely have to pause on the weekly updates after the next 2 chapters (Chapter 23). I hesitate to use the dreaded “H” word (hiatus) because I don’t anticipate a long pause, maybe 2-3 weeks at the most. The reason is that I fell off my pace after having to rewrite a future chapter several times. I’m making progress on upcoming chapters, but there are still gaps that have to be ironed out and stitched together. So I’d rather not rush, but take the time to fully flesh things out.
> 
> I want to thank everyone for following along thus far. It means a lot to know that people care about this ship as much as me! I have every intention to finish this fic come hell or high water, but if there’s a delay for some reason, I will be sure to post an update about it.


	22. In Living Memory

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has a discussion about implied homophobia in pre-War society, so I’ve added the tag for Period-Typical Homophobia.

We grabbed our gear and made arrangements for Nat to stay behind in Diamond City with Dogmeat. I hated to leave her again, but I reassured her that we wouldn’t be gone for long. Then we set out for Goodneighbor, taking every back alley shortcut I knew through the Fens and Commons to get there as quickly as possible.

As we traveled, my mind drifted back to our unexpected reunion at the Third Rail bar a few days ago. My expression must have given it away. 

“Something on your mind, Piper?” Blue asked.

“What? Oh sorry, I was thinking about the last time we were in Goodneighbor. And how piss-drunk you were at the Third Rail.”

“Oh good God.” Blue slapped her head. “I’m so embarrassed about that. Look, I don’t remember half of it, but I know I said a lot of things under the influence that I’d gladly take back...”

“There’s no way I’ll ever let you live that down, Blue,” I cracked. “Some of it was pretty hilarious. And you’ve convinced me never to have kids.”

Blue shrugged. “Eh. Yeah, childbirth sucks, but it’s a life-changing experience too.”

“I’ll pass, thanks... I guess I imagined things would be different when we saw each other again. I mean, when I saw you with...no, forget it.”

“No, what is it?”

“Well, when I saw you sitting so close to the stage to Magnolia...”

“Magnolia? The jazz singer lady? What about her?”

“You were saying some...uh, inappropriate things about her.”

“Oh... oh.” Her inebriated memory bubbled to the surface. “Now I remember saying that. But wait...” She whirled around and pointed at me accusingly. “You said something too!”

“What? I did not!” I denied. “I was complimenting her set! Of, songs...”

“Aha, you admit it!” Blue laughed. “Look, I think we can both agree that Magnolia’s hot, yes? Just because I’m...uh, curious...that doesn’t mean I’m sowing my wild oats everywhere.”

“Hmm, that’s a strange metaphor,” I mused. Must have been one of Blue’s weird, old-timey sayings again. “Magnolia’s a synth, anyway, so it’s just as well.”

“A...a synth? Really?! But she’s so...so...”

I laughed at how flustered Blue was. “Yeah, that’s the point. They’re like that.”

“Wow, that’s...very good programming. How do you know she’s a synth?”

“I, uh, have my sources,” I evaded. “You seem suspiciously shocked over this.”

“Nothing happened. I swear!” Blue raised her hands to plead innocence.

“Ok, Blue, I believe you. Let’s just—Holy shit!!!”

I was cut off by a missile smashing into a building in the distance. The missile came from above. We looked up in time to see a vertibird zooming overhead. It circled around and touched down a hundred feet in front of us. Three Brotherhood of Steel soldiers decked in Power Armor got off, then the vertibird rose back up to the sky. They marched towards the raider stronghold that was hit by their missile moments ago.

“Hey!” Blue called out to them.

“Stand back citizen!” one of the knights yelled back. 

We stood by as the knights marched away. “I don’t recognize these guys,” Blue said to me. “They must be the reinforcements from the Capitol…”

“Looks like they’re serious about ‘bringing peace’ to the Commonwealth,” I opined. 

“What the hell is going on?” Blue wondered aloud.

With the Brotherhood actively meddling with the status quo, the situation in the Commonwealth suddenly became more complicated. A rapid exchange of gunfire reverberated in the distance. As much as I wanted to find out more, we were in no position to intervene.

The vertibird we saw earlier reappeared above us. A black trail of smoke billowed from its tail—a raider with their own missile launcher got lucky. We ducked as the craft spun wildly out of control and crashed in flames into an alleyway.

Blue ran towards it—the vertibird was smashed into pieces. Through the twisted wreckage, smoke and fire, I couldn’t see any survivors.

“Blue, as much as I want to branch into war reporting, now is not the time! We can’t stay in this war zone! We have our own mission to complete.” Blue pulled away from the wreckage reluctantly.

We continued on the path to Goodneighbor. Around us were a trail of new bodies—dead raiders caught by surprise and a Brotherhood knight who had underestimated his foes. We took out two straggling raiders who crossed our path, then crept the rest of the way to Goodneighbor.

…

We were relieved to make it to the Memory Den in one piece. I approached Irma, who was stretched out in her chaise lounge as usual, smoking and flattering the customers. 

“Irma, is Doctor Amari here?” 

“She’s busy right now, darling.”

“Oh. What about Nick? Is he here yet? He was going to introduce us to the Doctor.”

“Nick? How is that lovely detective of yours? Is he coming? No dear, I haven’t seen him around, but I can’t wait to catch up with him.”

Irma took a long drag from her cigarette and exhaled smoke towards the memory pods. “Why don’t you two sit down first, make yourselves comfortable?”

I coughed a little and walked back to the main room. Most of the memory pods were empty, save for a fellow in sunglasses zoned out in a corner pod. Maybe the regulars had gone home for a break. Or, more likely, they had left to earn more money for their next session.

“Everything ok?” Blue asked.

“Yeah. Nick’s not here yet. Looks like we beat him.”

“Hmm. Hope he’s ok. Think he got caught in that war zone like us?”

“Maybe. Nick’s usually good at traveling through the neighborhood though. I’d wait a little longer before we look for him.”

“Ok. What can you can tell me about this place?” Blue asked. “Last time I was in town, I walked in for a bit, but I thought it was a fancy drug den. Or a brothel.”

“You’re not that far off, Blue. Only instead of chems or skin, they deal in memories. A lot of people give up all their caps just to relive the good parts of their lives, over and over. They relive the past moments in their minds as clear as the day they happened. At least that’s what the brochures say. Dr. Amari’s a neuroscientist, she runs the place along with her partner Irma.”

Blue tentatively sat down and tested the cushioning in one of the memory loungers. “You ever try one of these?”

“Nah. Never could afford a memory session on a freelance journalist’s salary.” Blue chuckled, then patted the spot next to her, inviting me to sit down. 

“If you had the caps and could relive any memory from your past, what would it be?” 

I thought for a moment. “I’d love to see my dad again. I do miss him still. But reliving my past would keep reminding me of what I’ve lost. I don’t know if I could do that—it wouldn’t be real and it’d hurt too much. What about you?”

“If you asked me six months ago...sure, I’d want to see Nate again, and Shaun when he was a baby. Relive that year when it was just the three of us. If we pretended hard enough, we could convince ourselves that the world really wasn’t falling apart. Of course, that all turned out to be an illusion. But back then, it really was the best time of our lives. I could see getting lost in that, if I let myself.” Blue sighed wistfully.

I felt sad for Blue, this poor woman lost in time. For all of my uncompromising dedication to the truth, I couldn’t blame Blue for wanting to pretend that the horrors of the world weren’t really happening. I even envied Nate, for having a wife who truly loved him so much that she’d want to relive their time together.

“But...” Blue interrupted my thoughts, “Ask me today, and I’d relive the day we met.”

“What? Come on, Blue.”

“No really. Everything changed that day. Before we met, I was feeling really low—depressed even. Like I was dead inside. But when I saw you outside the gates... I can’t explain it. It just hit me—this high—this incredible feeling, of time standing still. And that night in Diamond City, I just...slept. For the first time, without any nightmares. It was like I didn’t have to be afraid anymore.”

I stared at her for a moment. Did her feelings really go back that far? 

“You never told me this.” 

“Ha, that would have been a strange thing to hear from some woman you just met,” Blue joked. “The problem was that I let my head get in the way. The next day, I pushed the feeling away. I talked myself out of it, and I was...afraid again. Afraid of it.”

“Why?”

Blue shrugged. “Part of it, I was confused because of my grief. But mostly, it was because of...old fears. From the past.” She shook her head. “Sorry, it’s stupid. There was so much pressure to conform back then. Not like today.”

“It’s not stupid,” I said. “Those were real fears. I’m sorry that was even a thing back then.” This century wasn’t exactly free of bigotry either, with ghouls and free synths getting the worst of it. But at least in the Commonwealth, people were largely indifferent to sexual orientation. It angered me that society ever felt the need to control that part of people’s lives.

“Well, eventually I got over it, when I remembered that everyone from my time was dead. So there was no point trying to hide... Sorry.” Blue pinched the bridge of her nose to suppress her tears.

“What for?”

“It’s just—there were people braver than me. It shouldn’t have taken the end of the world for me to accept who I am.”

I held her hand. “Well, you’re there now.”

“Yeah, 200 years later,” Blue scoffed sarcastically. 

“And not that this is a silver lining or anything, but if it weren’t for the end of the world, we’d have never met.” I said. Ugh, what was with me and the gallows humor?

“That is...morbidly true,” Blue laughed. “Anyway, I’d love to relive that day, to experience that feeling again without worrying what other people might think. Just to know what that’s like.”

I nodded and thought back to the day we met. My recollection of that moment was entirely different. I remembered panicking after being locked out, and being anxious about being separated from Nat. Lots of yelling at Danny Sullivan. And seeing a cute Vault Dweller and her big dog standing behind me, waiting to get in. Darn my suspicious nature for not giving her a chance at first. But not for long, thanks to Dogmeat...

“What are you thinking about?”

Oh right, I hadn’t said anything else. “Sorry, I was thinking back to the day we met. I guess I remember it a little differently.”

“That’s ok, you were busy trying to get back into the city. I’m sure it was stressful for you.”

“That it was... To be honest, when I first met you, I didn’t give you much of a chance...”

“Oh... Ouch.” Blue covered her eyes, her ego crushed.

“...At first,” I continued. “I admit, I wrote you off because of the Vault suit. And the wedding ring. And the huge age difference. And my mistrust of pretty much everyone in general.”

“You’re making it worse,” Blue cringed, chuckling.

“But...you really won me over with your charm, and Dogmeat’s approval. And when you lectured McDonough about freedom of the press. And a million other little things that made me fall in love with you...”

“Aww...” Blue rested her head on my shoulder.

“If I could relive the day we met, I think I’d appreciate it more for what it was. That really was an important moment for us, wasn’t it?”

Blue smiled. “What’s that saying? ‘We just don’t recognize life’s most significant moments while they’re happening...’ This is all fun to think about. But the truth is, I wouldn’t want to get into this...memory machine to relive my past, if it means never getting to experience another real, living moment with you.”

Blue brushed my cheek. “Because I don’t want to miss out. Because I’m in love with you. Deeply, madly, in love with you.”

We kissed, and I drowned myself in this real, living memory. I buried my face into hers and relished the feel of her warm skin against mine. Time did not exist in this moment. We drew out every second with every shared breath, every softly brushed lip, and every flicker of our tongues that stoked a flame in my chest with every sweet caress. The fire grew in me and flooded my senses. Surely, no artificial memory could ever hope to replicate this raw, unfiltered, living moment.

Things quickly got out of hand. We laid down inside the memory lounger and Blue lowered the lid. She took off my hat, then ran her fingers through my hair. My nerves quivered from the trails she blazed with her fingertips. I cradled her head and drew her in for another kiss.

She rolled over and laid on top of me, our collective heat rising. Then her hands were all over me, running over the curves of my leather trench coat. My whole body raged and ached for more. She pressed against me and I wrapped my leg around her, forgetting where we were. I couldn’t resist tugging at her blue jumpsuit. I reached for her zipper and started drawing it down her chest...

_Knock knock knock._

Startled, Blue cracked the back of her head hard against the glass lid. She winced, and her howl of pain echoed loudly in the glass chamber. I craned my neck up to look through the glass. It was fogged over, and shadowy figures loomed outside. 

I wiped the moisture with my hand, revealing the disapproving faces of Nick and Irma staring down at us.

Blue rolled off me and pushed the lid open. Cool air rushed in. We quickly stood up and brushed ourselves off. I put my hat back on and nonchalantly straightened my tangled hair. Blue rubbed the back of her bruised head and zipped her suit closed, disheveled and embarrassed.

“Niiick! I—I didn’t see you come in,” I stammered.

“I can see that,” Nick replied dryly.

Irma cleared her throat. “While we value all of our clients, I must remind you that these pods are for paying customers only. Also, per house rules, only one customer per pod. If you need a room for two, may I suggest the Hotel Rexford next door.” Irma flicked her feather boa at the door for added emphasis. 

She let her admonishment sink it, then laughed melodically. “Come ladies, Doctor Amari is waiting.”

Blue and I continued to make ourselves presentable as we headed downstairs to Amari’s lab. 

“Glad to see you two lovebirds having a nice time,” Nick murmured. I blushed, mortified. 

“Don’t worry,” Blue whispered, winking at me, “We’ll finish this later.” 

I covered my face—how red can one journalist get?

…

Doctor Amari took Blue’s request rather well.

“Are you two mad?! Putting aside the fact that you’re asking me to defile a corpse, you do realize that the memory simulators require intact, living brains to function?”

“This dead brain had inside knowledge of the Institute, Amari,” Nick argued. “The biggest scientific secret of the Commonwealth. You need this, and so do we.”

“Sigh, fine. I’ll take a look, but no guarantees.” 

Blue took out a little mason jar where she had stuffed Kellogg’s cybernetic implant and leftover brain matter. She opened the jar and plopped its contents into Doctor Amari’s hand. I suppressed the urge to vomit. Amari looked offended as she held the implant between her fingers. 

“What’s this? This isn’t a brain! This is...wait. That’s the hippocampus! And this thing attached to it. A neural interface?”

“Those circuits look awfully familiar,” Nick observed.

“I’m not surprised. From what I’ve seen, all Institute technology has a similar architecture.”

“Nick’s an older model synth,” I said. “Is he compatible?”

“That’s exactly what I was thinking,” Amari said. “If we’re lucky, it should hook right in. But even if this works, Mr. Valentine would be taking on a tremendous amount of risk. We’re talking about wiring something to his brain.”

Without hesitation, Nick hung up his hat and sat in the operating chair. “Don’t worry about me, Amari. Let’s do it. We’ve got a missing kid on the line. That’s worth the risk. But if I start cackling like an old, grizzled mercenary, pull me out, ok?”

Amari nodded and worked to connect Kellogg’s implant to Nick’s head. She tested the connection a few times, but all Nick could see was static.

“That’s what I was afraid of,” Amari said. “The mnemonic impressions are encoded. It appears the Institute has one last failsafe. There’s a lock on the memories in the implant... The memory encryption is too strong for a single mind. But what if we used two?”

“What are you suggesting?” Blue asked.

“We load both you and Mr. Valentine into the memory loungers. Run your cognitive functions in parallel. He’ll act as a host while your consciousness drives through whatever memories we can find.”

“N-Nick and I are gonna share a mind?” Blue asked nervously.

“I’m not going to see her in any...compromising positions am I?” Nick quipped.

“Niiiick!” I scolded. Nick was teasing us about earlier, but it was rare for him to throw a zinger like that. I glared at Nick while Blue blushed.

“Uh...no. You won’t have to worry about that. The only memories you’ll access are the ones in the implant.”

“Any idea what I’m going to see in there?” Blue asked.

“I have no clue, but considering we only have a piece of the medial temporal lobe, and not the whole brain, I doubt it’ll be...cohesive.”

Blue nodded her head reluctantly. “All right. Let’s get started.”

Nick saluted us and climbed into his memory lounger. “See you on the other side.”

He leaned back into the red padded chair as the glass lid lowered around him. Then his eyes dimmed and he “switched off” as he connected to the memory lounger and Kellogg’s implant.

Blue stared at the empty pod before her, afraid to go in.

“I don’t know if I can do this, Piper. Go inside this monster’s head? Even if I have to do it, I don’t really want to.”

I gave Blue a hug. “You’re strong, Blue. You’ll be fine. Doctor Amari and I will be watching you every step of the way. Just a few more steps, like Nick said. Then we can find the Institute and blow the lid off of ‘em.” 

Blue nodded glumly, unconvinced. I looked in her eyes. “I’m not going anywhere. When you wake up, I’ll be here, waiting for you.” I kissed her and she hugged me back.

Doctor Amari observed us impatiently. “Come on. Nick’s waiting.”

Blue squeezed my hand one last time. Then she crouched into the cushioned red pod and settled into the memory lounger. Blue looked anxious as the glass lid lowered around her. I walked to the side of the pod to watch Blue. The pod’s television screen bathed her face in a cold white light. She stared ahead, waiting for the interface to connect to her consciousness. 

At the last moment, she turned to look at me. Then her eyes rolled back as the pod pulled her into Kellogg’s mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> According to the Fallout Gamepedia (https://fallout.gamepedia.com/Sexuality), different societies throughout the Fallout-verse have had varying attitudes towards sexual orientation. I assume that Piper would only be aware of local attitudes.
> 
> Blue quote about “life’s most significant moments” refers to the same quote by Moonlight Graham in the movie “Field of Dreams.”
> 
> And a friendly reminder that there will be one more chapter posted next week before a brief hiatus. Thanks for reading, see you then!


	23. Ghosts in the Machine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's some mention of pre-War racism and homophobia in this chapter. Nothing in-your-face, but just a heads-up.

Doctor Amari monitored the stream of memories filtering between Nick and Blue while I kept vigil over them. Amari guided Blue through Kellogg’s twisted mind using a microphone linked to the pods. I watched a small TV monitor and followed along as Blue explored Kellogg’s life. The confusing tangle of neurons revealed his abusive childhood, the murder of his family in California, then his cold mercenary life and his travels East until he encountered the Institute. 

Then that fateful day in Vault 111. I watched, helpless, as Kellogg and the Institute scientists broke into the Vault and searched for Nate and Shaun’s cryo pod. 

My stomach turned—I knew what was coming. It was awful enough to have visited the scene of the crime, and to hear Blue recount the gory details in Nick’s office. But to see it happening in real time... I could only imagine Blue’s trauma of reliving this moment as an out-of-body experience. 

“Doctor Amari, stop!” I pleaded. “Don’t make her go through this again!” 

Blue’s heart rate and blood pressure accelerated. Her body struggled to wake up from the nightmare. I wanted to pull Blue out right then, to spare her the pain. 

Amari blocked me from approaching Blue’s pod. “I’m sorry about this, Piper. But we are so close, and this is the only way to find answers about the Institute that we are all looking for. As horrible as this is, we _must_ press on.”

Through the monitor, I saw Blue’s consciousness stepping between Kellogg and Nate, trying in vain to block Kellogg from shooting him again. Then that awful sound. The gun...

Against my instincts, I forced myself to watch. To remember with Blue so I could share the burden with her. I would never forget the sight of Kellogg snuffing out Nate’s life callously and without remorse. The chaos of baby Shaun being snatched away from Nate’s arms by the Institute scientists. Worst of all, the fury and anguish on Blue’s face—the Blue from the past—as she screamed and pounded her cryo pod door, before it froze her again. 

And if that wasn’t horrible enough, Kellogg’s consciousness coldly reflected about how he underestimated Blue and should have murdered her too, to avoid being targeted by her in revenge. It was outrageous. Monster was too polite a word for what Kellogg was.

Something else troubled me. Kellogg spoke as if he was aware of his own death. Was this fragment of him—his consciousness—still alive somehow? Was he still self-aware?

Amari spoke into the microphone and apologized to Blue for having to relive that memory. Then they continued on, and I hoped Blue could endure. 

...

In the final memory, I recognized Kellogg’s house in Diamond City, the one that Blue, Nick and I had broken into three months ago. Through the haze of the television monitor, I saw a small boy, about ten years old, playing on the floor in Kellogg’s house. Was that Shaun? The boy resembled both Blue and Nate, a mix of both.

Near the entrance, there was a giant flash of lightning. A synth courser appeared in the house and chatted with Kellogg about hunting a rogue Institute scientist. 

Teleportation? No wonder no one knows where the Institute is. Nobody’s found the entrance to the Institute because there was no entrance! Except by teleportation...

I jotted down notes about their conversation—something about eliminating a Brian Virgil—who was hiding out in the Glowing Sea. But in the monitor, Blue was more interested in Shaun, trying to capture every detail of her now-10-year-old son. Her consciousness tailed Shaun closely, up to the very moment he was teleported away by the synth, disappearing from the house in a flash of blue lightning.

Once the memory concluded, Doctor Amari worked quickly to unplug Nick from the pod and Kellogg’s implant. Nick emerged from the pod, looking worse for wear. We helped him onto his feet. After a battery of diagnostic tests by Doctor Amari, Nick went upstairs to recover.

Then Doctor Amari turned to Blue’s pod. She typed a series of commands into her terminal to end the simulation. Nothing happened. 

“Something’s wrong,” Dr. Amari said. 

“What do you mean something’s wrong?’” I asked nervously. 

“She’s not waking up. I’m not sure why, but her consciousness won’t disconnect from the memory lounger. I’m trying my usual procedures to pull her out, but she’s...stuck.” Amari checked her vitals. “Blood pressure and heart rate are spiking...”

“You gotta get her out of there, Doc!” I yelled, panicking. “Wake up, Blue!”

“Stay calm.” Dr. Amari inserted a holotape into her terminal with some new protocols. “I’m going to try activating her long-term memories, to draw her mind back to the present. Please stand by...”

A jumbled stream of consciousness from a lifetime ago poured through the screen:

...

Nora, three, is carried upstairs half-asleep by her father.  
“Good night, babu. Sweet dreams.”

Glimpses of an idyllic seaside vacation.  
Nora’s chasing her older brother. Waves splash them.  
They run into their parents’ arms, laughing.

Nora and her brother are sitting in the back seat.  
Their father is pulled over.  
“Good evening, sir. License and registration.”  
“Did I do something wrong, officer?”  
“Not unless you’re a Commie sympathizer. Now step out of the car. Slowly.”

“Commie! Commie! Commie!”  
“Stop calling me that!”  
“Go back where you came from, Commie!”

“Please, can we go to Nuka World?”  
“Maybe next summer, kids. Money’s tight right now.”

Nora’s thirteen.  
Stolen kisses with a friend.  
She holds her hand, smiling.

“You’re not to see her again. That girl is corrupting you.”  
“But Dad...”  
“Her parents called us. Nora what were you thinking?”  
“It’s not what you think! We’re just friends...”  
“Not anymore. Just forget about her. Forget that it ever happened.”

Nora graduates high school as valedictorian.  
Her parents and brother hug her and bring her flowers.

“Eight ball. Corner pocket, soldier boy.” Nora smirks.  
Nate coolly leans with his cue stick against the wall.  
“Nora, there’s no way you can make that—oh wow.”

Late night.  
Nate pushes Nora against a back alley wall.  
They kiss passionately.

Nora empties her pistol into a paper target.  
Holes dead center in the head and chest.  
“You sure you haven’t done this before?”  
“I swear!”  
“You also said that about pool. You should join the Army.”  
“No thank you. Only one of us needs to be fighting a dumb war.” 

“I’ve been activated. I need to report in three days.”  
“No, not yet! It’s too soon! Nate...I’ll marry you.”  
“Nora, I want to. But your family...” 

Nora sees Nate off at Boston Airport.  
He’s wearing his uniform and wedding ring.  
“Nate! Don’t go.”  
Nate turns around, then rushes back to kiss her.  
“I love you, Nora. I’ll always be with you. Always.”

“You married him? How could you? He’s not one of us!”  
“He’s being sent to the war! Dad, I love him...”  
“That’s exactly why you can’t marry him! If you stay with him, you can no longer be part of this family!”

“Nora, they keep sending me out there. Chances are one day, I won’t make it back.”  
“Don’t talk like that. Nothing’s going to happen to you.”  
“Just—promise me. If anything happens to me, you won’t hold on. You’ll find love again.”  
“Sigh, fine. And if anything happens to me, promise me that you’ll find love too.”  
“Ha ha! Yes, I’m a free man!”  
“Hey! You bastard!”

“Nate, I’m thinking of quitting the public defender’s office.”  
“What? Why?”  
“I lost another case. The DA keeps stacking the deck. It’s like hitting my head against a wall.”  
“But who’s gonna fight for the little people? Look, my leave starts next week. Let’s talk about it then.”

“In today’s news, U.S. troops are being deployed to the front in Anchorage to confront the Red Menace...”

Nate slams his medal on the table.  
“I lose half my unit, and they give me a medal. How does that make me a war hero?”  
“Nate, you also saved half your unit and broke through enemy lines.”  
“You were right about this dumb war, Nora. If I wasn’t from a damn military family, I’d have never joined. We’ve lost so much time together.”  
“Don’t say that. Your family’s legacy is important.”  
“Well, we’re going to have to make our own legacy. I’m resigning tomorrow.”

A pregnant Nora is on a payphone, surrounded by angry people shouting.  
“Nate, it’s me. I’m stuck. The protest spilled into the subway, they’re occupying the station.”  
“Oh my God. Where are you? Stay away from the crowds, I’ll come get you.”  
“You can’t, they’ve blocked all the roads...”

“Big push, big push, almost there...ok he’s out!”  
A newborn cries. His parents cry too.  
“We did it honey. Shaun’s here. I’m so proud of you.”

Nate and Nora are pushing Shaun in a stroller through a park in Boston.  
Later, they slow dance in the living room.  
They kiss.  
Nothing exists outside their world.

“Hey Sis, it’s me. Mum and Dad heard about the baby. They’re happy for you. They want to see you.”  
“I haven’t heard from them in years. They should have called, not you!”  
“Nora, please. Give them a chance.”  
“No. I have nothing to say to them.”

A mushroom cloud blossoms on a black and white TV screen.

Frantic footsteps up a steep hillside, chasing Nate. He’s got Shaun.

A flaming shockwave roars overhead as the Vault elevator descends.

Trapped in a glass coffin, frost consumes Nora.

Low voices as the frost clears.

Kellogg shoots Nate in the heart and takes the baby.

He stares coldly through the glass. The glass freezes again.

The coffin opens. So cold. Nate’s gone.

Nora swings a baton wildly at a radroach.

The elevator ascends to the surface, revealing bleak desolation.

“Codsworth, you’re alive!”

A raider ambushes Nora.  
She panics and fires at point-blank range.  
His eyes fade as he dies.  
Her hands shake. There’s blood on them. First kill. 

“Man, I don’t know who you are, but your timing’s impeccable!” Preston says.

She drops a smoking minigun onto cracked pavement and exits the Power Armor.  
Raiders and an unlucky deathclaw lay dead all around her. 

“You! You want into Diamond City, right?...  
Shh, play along...  
Ah, what’s that? You said you’re a trader up from Quincy?”

Blue and Piper are kissing on the couch in her old empty house.  
The house morphs into an abandoned shack, then to the bedroom in Home Plate.

Lasers fire from Fort Hagen.  
Blue is lying in a pool of her own blood.  
A mysterious stranger in a dark coat pulls her to safety.  
Nate’s face fades in and out of view.  
Minutemen rush to save her.

Blue shoots Kellogg with the Cryolator.  
He freezes to death.

Piper holds Blue’s hand as she lays down in the memory lounger.

...

Nate opens Nora’s cryo pod.   
Nora stumbles out into his arms.  
“She’s waiting for you. Wake up.”

...

Blue woke up with a gasp. She forced open the glass lid and stumbled out of the pod, disoriented. Doctor Amari and I rushed to catch Blue.

“Slow movements, ok?” Amari advised. “I don’t know what kind of side effects the procedure might have had. No one’s ever done this before.”

We guided her to a chair, and Blue held her head. “Wh—what year is it?” she asked.

“2288,” I replied. “You’re in the Memory Den.”

Blue looked at me, blinking and rubbing her eyes to reorient herself to the present. Amari examined her for any lingering effects. 

“Your neural and physiological readings have returned to normal. How do you feel?” Amari asked.

Blue deadpanned, “Like I watched a murderous psychopath’s life flash before my eyes. Then watched my own life flash before my eyes. So... Shitty.”

“Well, if you’re cognizant enough to joke, I think we can safely say that you’re out of critical condition,” Amari said.

“Who said I was joking?” Blue grumbled. “What happened? I thought I exited Kellogg’s memories, but then I felt like I was having a panic attack.”

“A panic attack?” Amari asked. “That explains why you couldn’t wake up—the simulation must have triggered it. I had to ‘reset’ your mind by accessing your long-term memories.”

“My memories...?” Blue looked troubled, but shook it off. “It doesn’t matter—we got what we needed. The Institute uses teleportation to get in and out.”

“Yes,” Amari said. “Their greatest secret has finally been revealed. But that only leads to more questions. How does it work? Where do we go next?”

“There’s more than one person who knows about the Institute,” I said, thumbing through my notes. “Virgil, that scientist who escaped.”

“I didn’t know Institute scientists could defect...” Amari mused. “He could answer a lot of questions. Where did the memory say he was? The Glowing Sea? That doesn’t make sense. No one goes there. Not even if they were desperate.”

“That’s why he’s there,” Blue said. “To make the Institute think twice about following him.”

“That must be it!” Amari said. “He’s using the radiation in the Glowing Sea like a shield, or a cloak. A way to throw them off and be at an advantage. If Virgil found a way to survive there, you’ll have to do the same, if you’re going to follow him.”

“I’ll find a way to get through the rads,” Blue reassured. “Don’t worry.”

“Good luck, and be safe,” Amari said. “By the way, I removed the implant from Mr. Valentine first... He’s waiting for you upstairs.”

...

We found Nick sitting on a bench in the Den’s waiting area.

“Hope you got what you’re looking for inside my head.” A sandpaper metallic voice came out of Nick. “Heh, I was right. Should’ve killed you when you were on ice.”

We stared at Nick. What the hell...?

“What did you say?” Blue demanded. 

“What? What are you talking about?” Nick’s voice returned to normal.

“You sounded like Kellogg just then,” Blue said.

“Did I? Huh. Amari said there might be some mnemonic impressions left over. I feel fine.”

“Oh my God. Kellogg, he infected you,” Blue said, frightened. “He gave you a virus or something.”

“A virus? Don’t be silly. I’m a synth, I can’t get sick.”

“Not a human virus, like...a piece of code that changes the host to do something else.”

“Gimme a break, I don’t have a virus. I’m fine. It’s a mnemonic impression, like Doctor Amari said.”

“How do you know for sure, Nick?” Blue argued. “You said yourself that you didn’t know what the Institute’s locked away in your mind. How does Doctor Amari know? She didn’t even know what side effects this procedure might have on me!”

“Kid, I appreciate your concern. But Doctor Amari and I have worked together for a long time. No one outside the Institute understands human and synthetic brains like Amari. She’s studied my noggin’ inside and out. If there was a chance of a ‘virus’ getting in there, she would know about it.”

“Nick...” Blue protested.

“I _said_ I feel fine,” the stubborn old synth stated. “You’ve already got company, so I’ll get back to Diamond City.” 

Nick abruptly stood up. “Good luck out there.” Then he left the Memory Den. 

Beyond the doors, a steady rain poured down onto the gritty streets of Goodneighbor. He went solemnly into the storm alone. Blue was right to be concerned. I was worried about Nick too.

Suddenly, Blue ran out of the Memory Den after Nick. I followed behind.

“Nick, wait!”

Nick stopped in the middle of Scollay Square with his hands in his pockets. Rain dribbled down from the brim of his fedora. He turned and waited as Blue ran up to him. I stood underneath the Memory Den’s marquee for shelter, keeping my distance to observe them quietly.

Blue stopped in front of Nick. The rain pelted all around them. They gazed at each other in the glow of the marquee lights. Then she embraced him. 

“I’m so sorry, Nick. I did this to you.”

Nick hugged her back gently. “Aww, cut it out, Kid. You didn’t do anything. I wanted to do it. Can’t turn down a good mystery.”

“I know. I’m sorry anyway.”

“It’s ok, Kid. Don't worry, I’m fine.”

“Nick, don’t go. Just wait—give me some time to clear my head. Let us go back with you.”

“No, I should head back, see if Ellie has any messages for me. You take your time. You and I’ve got too much work to do.” 

Blue was overcome with emotion. She sobbed into the chest of the old detective. Her tears streamed down and mixed with the rain.

“Look Kid, the way the world is—we can’t live our lives based on fear and what-ifs. If the half-dead brain of Kellogg wants to take over my mind, then it’ll have to do it on my terms. I ain’t gonna sit around and wait for it to control me.”

He carefully wiped the tears from Blue’s face with his metallic hand.

“Nick...”

“Really, I’m fine. If you need me, you know where to find me.” 

Blue stood in the downpour and looked into his gold mechanical eyes. Then she kissed him on the cheek. Nick’s exposed jaw whirred, and he looked down at Blue, surprised. Blue hugged him again. Nick patted her reassuringly, then he called out to me. 

“You take care of her, Piper.”

“Of course,” I called back. “Be careful, Nick.”

With that, Nick tipped his hat and walked the lonely road out of Goodneighbor.

...

Blue stared down the road long after Nick disappeared from our view. The rain lightened to a slow drizzle. I went over and put my arm around her damp shoulders.

Nick really was a good man, synth or not. One of the few.

“Nick will be fine,” I reassured Blue. At least I hoped so. Truth was, I wasn’t completely certain, but I knew better than to get in Nick’s way.

“I hope so,” Blue said. “If Kellogg’s implant did anything to mess up Nick, I don’t think I can forgive myself.” 

I really hoped that was the end of Kellogg—that Kellogg’s voice was just a mnemonic impression, taunting us one last time. I trusted Doctor Amari’s prognosis, but I vowed to keep an eye on Nick, just in case.

There was just one other loose end to tie up.

...

I asked Blue to wait for me inside the Memory Den. We went in and she waited upstairs, while I went back down to the lab. Doctor Amari was still working. 

“Oh Piper! What are you doing back?”

“Doctor, Nick had a ‘mnemonic impression’—he spoke like Kellogg for a brief moment. Is that...normal?”

“Yes, I told him that was a possible side effect of this procedure. There should be no lasting effects, don’t worry.”

“Ok... I also wanted to ask—what do you intend to do with Kellogg’s neural implant?”

“I’ve been analyzing it to understand how the Institute managed to connect it to his brain. I’ve already gathered some interesting data. Unfortunately, Kellogg’s brain tissue has degraded significantly since the procedure. It won’t be viable for much longer.”

“I see...” I took a deep breath. “I have a favor to ask. I don’t want to impede your work—I know we need all the information we can get about the Institute. But when you’re done with it, please...destroy it. All of it. Kellogg’s brain tissue, his implant, everything. It’s too dangerous to keep it around.”

Doctor Amari said nothing at first, and I thought she would object. Finally, she nodded. 

“I will do as you ask. I will destroy it, I promise.”

“Thank you, Doctor.”I turned and went back upstairs to meet up with Blue. 

It’s not revenge, I told myself. The man is already dead. It’s too dangerous to keep that part of him alive. And I’m doing it for Blue.

_Not true_ , said my gut. _It is, and it’s not just for her. But he is too dangerous. You can live with that._

....

Much later—far too late for us to have benefitted from this information—Dr. Amari revealed that before she destroyed it, she examined Kellogg’s brain tissue and found signs of advanced aging. At the time, she wrote it off as a side effect of chems or the implant. Because she had watched his memories alongside me. There was no way Kellogg could have been over 100 years old.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Optional reading: I wrote a post with a character analysis of Blue: https://velvet-helvetica.tumblr.com/post/619674962399199232/on-blue. 
> 
> The Memory Den seemed the opportune place to reveal (my) Blue's backstory. Also, I couldn't resist putting in a little detective-noir scene in the pouring rain towards the end there. And then threw in some final thoughts about Kellogg's brain. 
> 
> As mentioned before, I will be taking a short 2-week break, so come back around June 13-14, 2020, or bookmark or do whatever people on AO3 do to stay updated on fics. There's a chance that I may shift to posting to every 2 weeks temporarily, depending on where things are at. I say "temporarily" because I really do like posting every week. But while I'm making better progress, I can't predict if I'll be where I want to be after the break (I'm writin' as fast as I can, Captain!). I'll let you know what I decide as soon as I get back. 
> 
> Also FYI when we get back, the rating for the entire fic may go up, because of...reasons.


	24. The Promised Land

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some discussion of pre-War racism here. Also, NSFW.

“You look like you could use a drink, Blue.”

“Agreed. Need something strong to get all these brains out of my head.”

I understood what she meant. I couldn’t fathom her crazy head trip traveling through a merc’s half-dead brain, along with her own. 

Blue and I walked from the Memory Den to the Third Rail. We had the bar to ourselves. It was early morning, and most of the regulars had left to sleep off their hangovers. Sadly, Magnolia had finished her set and had gone home as well. 

I ordered a bottle of whiskey from White Chapel Charlie and brought it to where Blue was sitting, on the same couch where I found her punch-drunk a few days ago. Blue poured herself a glass and downed it, then poured another one. She closed her eyes and held the second glass to her forehead. 

I pulled a Nuka Cola from my coat pocket and poured it into my glass, then impulsively added a shot of whiskey. Figured I’d expand my repertoire.

I dropped the cap from my Nuka Cola onto the table. “Cap for your thoughts.” 

Blue smiled weakly, then she picked up the cap and flipped it back and forth between her fingers. 

“I can’t believe how big he is. Shaun. My baby. He looks like Nate, only darker, thanks to me. The same ridiculous chin as him, though.” Blue beamed proudly.

“He’s got your eyes too,” I said. “He’s a cute kid, you did well.”

“Thanks.” She smiled, flipping the cap onto the table. Then her mood shifted as she turned the glass in her hands. 

“It’s what I feared. Kellogg did raise him, at least some of the time. Then that synth from the Institute took him away... I kept trying to reach out to Shaun—to touch him—but I had no body. Just a consciousness. Like I was a fly on the wall, listening to Kellogg’s demented thoughts. Or maybe they were his thoughts filtered through my own consciousness. It was hard to tell in there.”

I sipped my whiskey and Nuka—hmm, not bad. “You know, you are some kinda dedicated. I wouldn’t want to share a beer with Kellogg, let alone a brain.”

“Sigh. Yeah, well I didn’t exactly want to be inside that asshole’s brain, either.” 

She put down her glass. “I mean, how many times do I have to relive that bastard murdering Nate and kidnapping my son?! The man’s dead, yet he still finds a way to _fuck_ with me. I had to just...stand there and take it, _again._ ”

“I’m so sorry, Blue. I saw what he did on the monitor alongside Doctor Amari. It was gut-wrenching to watch.”

“Then you saw everything. What happened in the Vault. And Kellogg’s whole life too.” Blue sipped her whiskey. “Ok. I _get_ that he had a messed-up life. It doesn’t mean I’ll ever forgive him for what he did.”

“You don’t have to. He was a murderous psychopath. Sure he lost everything, but he made his choices. He chose to keep killing people—he didn’t care who he hurt.”

“I didn’t mind watching him die again,” Blue mused darkly. “Sorry, that’s sick. He must have left a ‘mnemonic impression’ on me too.”

“Blue, you’re not a sadistic killer like Kellogg, out to destroy the world. You’re nothing like him.”

“Yeah, if you say so,” Blue replied doubtfully.

“Blue, I should tell you... I asked Doctor Amari to destroy Kellogg’s brain tissue and implant.”

Blue was silent for a moment. Then she hugged me tight, breathing a sigh of relief.

“Thank you. At least he’ll be gone for good.” 

We let go and I steeled myself for my next admission. “Blue, I also need to tell you... I saw your life. Flashes of it that Doctor Amari triggered to wake you up... I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snoop on your private thoughts.”

Blue covered her eyes to process this. “No, it’s ok, it’s not your fault. Doctor Amari was trying to revive me. I’m just...embarrassed by some of it, that’s all.”

“Needless to say, that’s all off-the-record,” I reassured her. “We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.”

Blue didn’t say anything at first, and I thought we would leave it at that. She bit her lip and gazed into her whiskey glass. Something was building up inside her. 

“You must think I’m a total hypocrite,” she said at last, catching me off guard. She looked away, ashamed.

“Blue, what are you talking about?”

Blue set down her glass. “Where do I start? How about the time I deliberately cut myself off from my own family? Or pretended the girl I had a crush on didn’t exist anymore? Or gave up helping people because things got too hard? Or carried on with my happy little family life, while the rest of the world was falling apart?”

“Blue, I’m not going to judge you for things that happened over 200 years ago. Especially not over a bunch of random memories.” How could I possibly, anyway? There was so much to unpack, it would take too many drinks to sort it all out.

“They’re not all random thoughts, Piper. I’ve been thinking a lot about these things out on the road. My...regrets about the past.” Blue rolled her eyes, then swallowed the rest of her whiskey.

“Blue, everyone makes mistakes,” I said. “Please don’t beat yourself up over them. I’m sure you did the best you could.”

“I also did a lot of things out of convenience. Because it was easier. Even if I wasn’t always being true to myself.”

“I don’t believe that. You also made tremendous sacrifices, for love.”

Blue exhaled a long sigh, encompassing a lifetime of things left unsaid. She stared hard into her empty glass.

“Yeah, I did. I was so young when I got married, and headstrong. Self-righteous. I was already angry at my parents for not accepting my choices. In some ways, it was easier to just blame them for everything, for whatever I was ashamed about in myself.”

“But it wasn’t all their fault. Our whole society was wrong, and corrupt. I still hate what my parents did, but now I understand that they thought they were protecting me. They were newcomers here. Then their homeland became allies with China, the ‘enemy.’ It felt like other people only saw us as foreigners. They never felt at ease here.”

I let her story sink in for a moment. This was the sort of nuance that got overlooked all too often in the history books. The narrative of America’s ‘melting pot’ that burned its newcomers instead of welcoming them as equals.

“That’s awful, Blue. I didn’t realize that pre-War life was so...complicated. And prejudiced. I can’t imagine what it was really like back then.”

“Yeah. It’s so upsetting, thinking about all the things that people used to get worked up about. But it’s all in the past now. Right?” 

She looked at me, doubtful. I couldn’t give her an honest answer.

“Anyway,” she continued, “I wish I could forgive my family, and move on. But it’s too late. They’re dead, wiped out by the bombs like everyone else. I rejected them. And I don’t know if I can ever forgive myself for that.”

Blue leaned her head back on the couch, staring at the cracked ceiling. “Sigh. This ‘letting go of the past’ thing is hard. What do I do, Piper? How do I move on?”

That’s a tough one. I considered for a moment what to say. Letting go was hard, no doubt about it. It’s a lot like truth seeking, and it’s a process that never ends. 

“I...think...letting go has a lot to do with facing the truth,” I began. “You can’t change the past, but you can accept the truth about what happened, even if it’s uncomfortable. You can accept that you made mistakes, and learn from them. And you can still forgive your family, without excusing what they did. It does help—speaking from personal experience.”

Blue nodded. “Yeah. Something I need to work on, I guess. I do miss them... Sometimes I wonder why they all died and I ended up being the one left behind.” 

Boy, Blue was really bringing on the tough questions. “I used to wonder this myself, when my dad died. Why me...? The best answer I could come up with is that we go on for them. You’re their legacy now. You can still shape the future. Things don’t have to be the way they were before. I’ve seen the way you try to help people. You have a bigger influence than you realize. You’ve been doing it all along.”

Blue shrugged. “In some ways, it’s easier to make change now than back then. As long as you can stay alive.”

“Ain’t that the truth.” I refilled our glasses. “You know, as painful as the past must be for you, at least you have an idea of where you came from. So many of us don’t even know where we came from, or how our ancestors had the misfortune of ending up here.”

“Lucky me,” Blue smirked ironically.

“What I’m getting at is...you have perspective. A point of view that none of us surface dwellers have. You know what they say about not knowing your history. So...we’re all doomed, basically.” Blue chuckled.

An idea hit me. “Hey, maybe later, when you’ve had time to process all this, you can tell me more about them. About your old life, your family, your friends, anything from before. So they can be remembered.”

Blue mulled over the idea. “Yeah...I’d like that.” She smiled at me warmly.

I raised my glass. “Cheers.”

“To what?” Blue asked.

“To...the past.”

Blue raised hers, and we clinked glasses. “To the past. Good riddance.”

I laughed as we sipped our drinks. Blue kept her glass raised.

“And to the present,” she said as we cheered again.

Then Blue took my hand and whispered in my ear, “Thank you for being with me.” 

I smiled and whispered back, “There’s nowhere I’d rather be.”

She leaned in to kiss me, and I felt flushed all over, buzzed and not caring that Whitechapel Charlie was silently judging us from the bar. We made out for a few luxurious minutes, picking up where we left off when we first arrived at the Memory Den. 

Worried about getting interrupted for a second time, I broke off and asked her, “Wanna get out of here?”

“Yes,” Blue said immediately.

...

We headed straight for the Hotel Rexford.

“I’m glad I was able to get my old room back,” Blue said, shutting the door behind her.

“Oh yeah, the one with the hole in the floor,” I joked, kicking her old weapons cache under the rug.

“You know I like to keep it classy,” Blue winked, wrapping her arms around my waist. I laughed and draped my arms around her. 

All was quiet. Finally we were alone. I looked at Blue, and remembered how much I missed her eyes. Those sad brown eyes that had seen too much, yet still shined with a glimmer of hope.

We stood and made out, enjoying each drawn-out kiss like old lovers greeting each other after a long absence. Everything that happened between us before seemed like it had passed by in a blur. A mad fever dream of lust and thrilling discovery.

But right now, there was no need to rush things. I knew we had each other. We had the present moment, this precious time together.

I paused to take my coat and hat off. She waited, and my heart skipped a beat when I realized she was watching me. I took my arms out of my coat, then turned away so she could remove the red leather from my shoulders. She dropped my coat to the floor, then slid her hands up the side of my arms. I leaned against her and enjoyed myself as she kissed the back of my neck. 

Then she started undressing, first removing her cumbersome Pip Boy, then her tag-and-ring necklace—tokens of her entire past. She unzipped her Vault suit, letting me watch as the gold trim of her suit split open, spreading apart. The suit was tight on her, so she carefully eased her arms out of their sleeves.

When I saw her scars again, I froze.

Instinctively, I touched them. She held still, not flinching, as my fingertips lightly traced the array of scars etched across her skin. A written record of pain inflicted by Kellogg. 

I mourned all the time that had passed since we were separated. Time lost.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there, Blue,” I whispered. Tears welled up in my eyes. 

Blue took my hands. “Hey, it’s ok. That battle’s over. We won. We got him.”

“Yeah, but I should have been there for you, before...” My voice cracked, and I cried. “Why wasn’t I there for you?” 

Blue hugged me. I buried my head into her scarred shoulder and sobbed.

“Shh... You were where you needed to be,” she said.

“But I should have been there,” I insisted. “So you wouldn’t be alone.”

“Hey, hey...” She lifted my chin. “Piper...listen. You _were_ with me. Here.” Blue put my hand over her heart. “You were with me. The whole time. I thought about you everyday out there.”

“Really?”

Blue nodded. “I had a lot of time to think out on the road. Wasted too much time dwelling on the past... But then my thoughts kept coming back to you. I missed you so much. I kept hoping, somehow, if I could beat this, that I’d find my way back to you. And if I was lucky...I hoped you might want me back too.”

“Oh, Blue... I—I’m glad. I wasn’t sure...” Another wave of sadness erupted out of nowhere, and I started bawling again. “I didn’t know if you—if you’d ever come back...”

“Oh no... I’m such a fool.” She held me tight. “You’d think of all people, I’d learn from the past...”

“Wh-what do you...?” I was too choked up to get the words out properly.

We let go. Blue looked at the floor, angry at herself. “I know what it’s like to wait. And not know. I’m so sorry I did that to you.” 

“It’s ok,” I said, wiping my tears. “You had your reasons.”

“I thought I did, but I was wrong to leave you hanging. I should’ve known better.” 

She paused as another thought crossed her mind. “Piper, I can’t promise the future. I don’t know what will happen next. This thing about searching the Glowing Sea for that scientist—I have a feeling it’s going to take a while to figure out how to get there. Without, you know, dying a horribly painful death. And I’m starting to realize that this search for Shaun is turning into more of a marathon than a sprint.”

“At least we know that Shaun’s at the Institute,” I said. “He’s not going anywhere. Even if we don’t know exactly where he is.”

Blue nodded. “What I’m getting at is... Things might not be stable with me for a while. Or ever. If you don’t want to do this...”

“Come on, Blue, I’m staying,” I interrupted. “Stop trying to break up with me.”

“I’m not! I just don’t want to force you...”

“You do realize that you live in the post-apocalypse, right? Instability is practically the norm around here. We all just deal with it by not thinking too far ahead.”

Blue winced in protest. “That may be the norm, but that’s not how I want to live. At least not forever. It’s not what I’d wish for you. You—you deserve better than that.” 

What I deserve...? Why does she say things like that? 

“Nobody does, but that’s not the world we live in, Blue. We just have to carry on, however... however long we have...” 

Shit. I let my fatalism slip in there.

She frowned. “Oh, Piper...” She put my hand back on her heart. I felt it beating steadily under my palm. 

“Piper, I love you. I want to be with you. I want to find a way for us to be together. Love’s too precious to just let it slip away. But I can’t promise tomorrow. I can’t promise we can always be with each other. What I can promise is that—wherever you are, I’ll always be with you. Here.” 

She moved my hand to my heart. Then she placed her hands over it, so I’d understand. 

_I’ll always be with you. Always._

She poured her heart into me, and I drank in her warmth and fire, drawing her in deeper. My nerves pulsed as she unleashed a flood of emotions into our kiss, her longing from our time apart.

_There’s so much I want to tell you._

Her kisses drifted down my neck, and my stomach fluttered as she lingered behind my ear for a few breaths. Something stirred within her, a bittersweet memory from another time, both comforting and intoxicating. She tangled her fingers in my hair, brushing it away from my neck, and watched my pulse thrumming intensely beneath my skin. It called to her, a pathway to my heart. 

Blue kissed it, suckling that tender indentation between my jaw and throat, pouring her love into that vulnerable junction. I let out a low murmur and gripped her shoulders as my desire coursed through me.

_Let me show you where I’ve been._

She reached under my waist to pull up my shirt, coaxing the fabric away from my curves with a gentle tug. Her fingertips dragged lightly along my skin, following the map of me, leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake. I shivered as the fabric glided up my body and over my head. Blue gathered the shirt behind my back and rubbed it against me, warming my bare skin, before tossing it aside.

Blue silently observed my chest rising and falling, syncing her breaths with mine. Then she closed in, and my heart rose to meet her lips. She rested there, breathing me in, filling my heart with a euphoria that I had missed for so long. She listened to my heart beating inside my chest, rediscovering a rhythm that had given her new life.

_This is the heart I found when I was lost._

I felt her smooth hands running up my back, taking their time to cross its bare terrain. Her fingers rolled over the narrow blips of my spine, until they were interrupted by the dark band of my bra. Deftly, Blue unhooked it, and as it fell away, she slid her hands under the band to cup my breasts. 

She rubbed them gently, then her lips spiraled around their contours before drawing one into her mouth, sucking its tip softly. Blue repeated this with the other, and my body jumped as her mouth made contact again. I grabbed a corner bedpost, tensing and clenching from the sensations surging through me as she caressed it with her tongue. I pulled her hips against me, seeking a place to work through the tension.

Her mouth continued down my abdomen, kissing my navel, and following the short path below it to my waistline, until she was kneeling before me. She looked up at me, her eyes full of yearning. Waiting for a sign. Words escaped me, so I simply nodded and stroked her hair. 

She slid my pants down in one slow, sweeping motion and helped me step out of them. Blue’s palms brushed along my bare legs wherever her eyes roamed, flowing seamlessly upwards from my ankles, over my calves, behind my knees, and around my thighs. I yearned for her to go further, letting out a shudder when Blue lifted her hands away.

She looked up again for another sign. The look in her eyes was different—not lustful, but clear-eyed, reverent. Asking.

I nodded again, and she lifted my leg over her shoulder to approach me from underneath. She  paused at the threshold, her breath hot on my skin. I held my own breath in anticipation.

Then I gasped and threw my head back, jolted by the sudden shock of her tongue pressing against me. I held her head to steady myself. She explored and teased different points along the way, searching. I rolled my hips along the way, following her wherever she went. Then Blue found that place in me, and I trembled uncontrollably. She delved deeper and settled into a pleasing rhythm, kissing me for a few long, agonizing minutes, drawing out each moment slowly as she pleasured me. 

Eventually, I couldn’t keep my balance anymore, so I sat down on the bed behind me. She lowered herself, still kneeled in devotion, and held my knees apart as she buried her face into that delicious heat, pleasuring me a little longer. I groaned and rocked against her, and she dove in deeper, enticing me open, loving that place that brought me higher. 

She took me right up to the edge and I savored it, riding along it as long as possible. Then her fingers slid along that edge, tracing its borders, until finally slipping into me. The feeling of her inside me seared through my mind. My body seized and I cried out as I went over, unable to hold on any longer.

She kissed my thigh, then stood up and finished undressing. I laid back and she climbed into bed. She hovered over me, brushing my hair aside and nuzzling my nose. Then she kissed me, tender yet unapologetic, and I tasted myself wet on her tongue. 

_This is where I have been. Living in the memory of you._

I traced her jawline with my fingertips, then grazed them gently over her lips—they were burning. She kissed my fingers, then put them into her mouth and sucked them one by one, pulling them out from base to fingertip. Her carnal gesture caught me off-guard and sent another shockwave through me, hitching my breath.

I trailed my wet fingers over her chin, down her throat to her collarbone, and followed the ridge to her left shoulder, where inside its hollow laid her first scar. 

We sat facing each other, and I kissed her scars, one by one. She closed her eyes and let out jagged breaths as my mouth followed the path of her old wounds. They were part of her history now. Her breath caught as I smoothed over each one with my tongue, allowing myself to stray over her breasts and ribs. Then I kissed her heart and felt it throbbing under my palm. She wrapped her hand around mine, understanding.

_You will always be with me._

We moved closer. I reached down to touch her with my wet fingers. She ached for it, burying her face into my shoulder and letting out muffled cries as I caressed her. She pressed my hand tight against her, which grew slick as she rolled her hips. She draped her arm around my neck and pulled me into a deep kiss. As we kissed, she touched me to return the favor, and I leaned into her, relishing the tension building inside me anew. 

After a time, she stopped me and took my hand, interlacing our fingers.

“I want to feel you,” she pleaded. “Please.”

She laid on top of me, and with some playful coaxing, we fumbled and maneuvered ourselves until we were fully entangled, collapsing the space between us. We kissed and embraced each other, sliding together slowly at first, then growing more intense in rhythm. 

She filled the inner spaces of my mind, all thought and emotion expanding outwards. Then everything dissolved away—time, the space between us, our separate selves. She flowed through me as I did for her, building to a crescendo.

“Piper...I can’t hold on any longer.”

“Let go, then. Let it all go.”

She grasped me tight and unleashed a mournful wail, releasing all her pain and loss—and joy too. A few moments later, I peaked, and my whole body burst from my love for her. She clung to me as I came down, cradling me as if I were a lifeline anchoring her to the present. 

“Thank you,” she whispered, breathless.

“For what?”

“Thank you. For saving me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again. I hope everyone is staying safe wherever you are.
> 
> I have to say that this chapter took a long time to write. It was so hard! But it was important for Piper and Blue to take a moment for themselves after a prolonged separation. Hopefully nobody minds the rating increase (I seriously don't know how to rate these things, but figured I'd err on the safe side).
> 
> I'm catching up on writing, but I'm still not quite where I want to be yet. So I'll pause for another 2 weeks to see where that gets me. See you back around June 27/28.


	25. Tunnel of Love

“If we’re going to go further south, we’re going to need more help. Got any ideas, Piper?” 

We had gone back home to Diamond City for a few days to regroup and decide our next move. Today, we were strategizing on Blue’s kitchen table at Home Plate.

“Where are we going, exactly?” I asked.

“Nick said the route to the Glowing Sea starts here.” Blue pointed at the tiny screen of her Pip-Boy, showing a checkpoint 10 miles southeast of our current location.

“We have to start there?” I remarked, “Hoo boy, that’s far. Dangerous territory too. Of course, everywhere is dangerous, but I haven’t been that far south in a while for good reason.”

“Yeah, I haven’t gone down there yet either, at least not in this century. I radioed Preston about it—he said it’s going to take a lot of work to establish safe routes and Minutemen settlements that far south.”

“And we’ll need something to protect ourselves from the radiation. Like our Power Armor that Kellogg trashed.”

“No offense, Piper, but even if we did have an unlimited supply of Rad-X and RadAway, I wouldn’t feel great about bringing you there.”

“Well I wouldn’t feel so great about excessive vomiting and hair loss either. It’s also a huge area to search. What about bringing Nick?”

“True, Nick did say the radiation wouldn’t be a factor for him. But there’s still the question of whether Kellogg’s implant did something to him. It would be a disaster if he glitched out in the middle of the Glowing Sea.”

“Well, what about the Railroad? Plenty of synths there who hate the Institute.” I was referring to the fabled Underground Railroad, home to a group of abolitionists and free synths, who dedicated their lives to freeing the Institute’s synths and taking down the organization that enslaved them.

“The Underground Railroad? Assuming they don’t kill us on sight, sure. They could be powerful allies. But how do we find them?”

“The only clue I have is the rumor that gets whispered around Diamond City. ‘Follow the Freedom Trail.’ We picked up a few clues already, before you left to track Kellogg. The last marker we found was here...” I pointed to some coordinates just outside Goodneighbor. 

Blue checked her map. “Goodneighbor is close to the edge of the coast. The trail can’t go much further out.”

“What do you say we head back out there, see where it goes?”  
...  
We traveled back to Goodneighbor, then headed east, following a faded red line. Occasionally we would find the mysterious round markers denoting Boston’s famed Freedom Trail. Each circle was marked with a letter and a number. Since we first discovered the markers around the Boston Commons, I had been scribbling the letter-number combinations on a page in my notepad. We battled through the usual groups of raiders, super mutants and ghouls, until we reached the Trail’s terminus at the doorstep of the Old North Church.

After dispatching more ghouls, we sifted through the wreckage of the church. It was sad to see such a historically significant place ruined and neglected. Blue spotted a white symbol of a house with a candle painted on a fallen beam. Perhaps it marked the way to a refuge? Soon we discovered stairs leading down to the church’s crypt.

The crypt was cold and musty, smelling of damp marble and centuries-old dead people. We crouched down and slowly crept through the dimly-lit tunnel. In the alcoves were marble slabs with worn-out letters, marking the tombs of Boston’s early founders. The place gave me the chills. 

“Oh God,” I said, trying to take my mind off of our creepy surroundings, “This place reminds me of a date I went on once. Guy said it was a trip to the ‘Tunnel of Love.’ There was not a second.”

Blue halted dead in her tracks. She whipped around to face me. 

“Whoa, whoa, whoa! You had a date. With a guy. In a ‘Tunnel of Love.’ You can’t just casually drop an anecdote like that and not expect me to ask for details.”

Blue was talking too loudly for my comfort. “Shhhhh! The ghouls are going to hear us.”

“Forget the ghouls, they’re going to come after us anyway. I want to hear more about this date.” Blue stood up, exposing her position. “I have so many questions! When was this date? What did he look like? Was he cute? What did you wear? Did he buy you dinner? Did he make the first move or did you?” 

She stood uncomfortably close to my face. “Was he the one that turned you off to guys?”

“Shhhh!” I blushed uncontrollably. I didn’t know whether to be more concerned about the ghouls or about my withering dignity. “Do we really have to talk about this now? You are being really nosy.”

“Oh, and you’re one to talk, Miss Nosy Reporter. Come on, I’ve been asleep for 200 years! Someone has to tell me what dating is like in the future.”

It was then that we heard a familiar hiss echoing down the tunnel. I readied my rifle. “I’ll have to fill you in later. Get down!”

“Oh, for crying out loud.” Blue dropped into a crouch and unloaded her shotgun into the first ghoul’s belly just as it rushed her. Irradiated guts sprayed everywhere, and Blue’s Pip Boy ticked wildly. 

“Always butting into our conversation!” Blue growled angrily.

I let out a few controlled bursts, nabbing three ghouls. But there were more, and they were closing fast.

“Get back, Blue!”

Blue and I raced back towards the tunnel entrance. When we reached the end, Blue lit a Molotov cocktail and hurled it at the horde. A wall of flame leaped up between the alcoves. We shielded our faces from the intense heat. The smell of burning flesh and alcohol seared our nostrils. 

A few ghouls managed to break through the curtain of fire. I braced myself and sprayed bullets at the stragglers. Blue blasted her shotgun, then frantically reloaded and shot again. 

One last ghoul clubbed Blue in the head, knocking her down. I emptied the rest of my clip into it. But that did nothing to stop the ferocious ghoul, who was winding up to pound Blue again. I panicked as I fumbled for a new clip. 

In the nick of time, Blue spun around and shoved her shotgun into the ghoul’s head. She fired, and its skull flew off and twirled in the air, before smashing into pieces against the wall, dead at last.

The crypt’s deathly silence returned, save for the mad ticking of Blue’s Pip Boy. Blue laid stunned on the ground for a moment. Nonchalantly, she got up and brushed off the dust and ghoul bits from her armor. She whacked her Pip Boy a few times to shut it up. 

“Well now. Where were we.” Blue locked eyes with me. “Oh yes! So, you had a date. In a Tunnel of Love.”

I leaned against the stone wall to catch my breath while my adrenaline slowly ebbed out. “Wh—what?”

“Your date. You were going to tell me about it. And I want to know _everything_.”

“Dammit.” I collected myself and we retraced our steps into the crypt. 

“Fine. It was a guy I knew from school. When Nat and I moved to Diamond City, I attended the Schoolhouse to further my education. I told you before that my parents had me read a lot. And there was a school in the settlement where I grew up, but it was small. Not that formal. Basically a room with an encyclopedia and a melted chalkboard...”

“Mmm hmm, very interesting. Quit stalling.”

“Hold your horses! I’m getting to it. So the school in Diamond City was much better. But by then, I was sixteen, and older than most of the other students. There were only a few students who were my age. Hank was one of them.”

“Hank? Aww. He sounds wonderful... Was he cute?”

“Sigh. I thought he was...somewhat attractive at the time. I admit it—I thought I had feelings for him. He kept flirting with me in class. I was the new girl in town, I didn’t know how I’d fit in. I was...exploring...trying to figure things out.”

“That’s understandable. So tell me about the date.” Blue put her hand on her chin attentively.

“So the date. One day after class, he asked me out. He said he knew a place called the ‘Tunnel of Love’ and asked if I wanted to check it out. We had an early dinner in the patio outside the Dugout Inn. Hank paid. I remember Vadim brought us brahmin filets, medium well, and two Nuka Colas. I thought it was sooo romantic.”

“Then we snuck out of Diamond City and crept our way around the Fens. I had no idea where he was taking me, and it was getting dark, so I felt scared. He kept saying, ‘Don’t worry, I know what I’m doing. Don’t worry, I’ll keep you safe. Don’t worry. Don’t worry.’ But I was getting worried.”

“Finally we went through a service entrance to a subway station. He opened a hatch, pointed down with his flashlight, and said, ‘Ladies first.’ We climbed down a ladder into the subway tunnel. I had a really bad feeling about this.”

“We dropped down into the subway. It’s dark. It’s creepy. It smelled like radioactive mold. I followed him until we reach a place where the tunnel was flooded with water. At the edge of the water, there was a dinghy floating in the middle of an underground radioactive lake. Against my better judgment, we got in. Then, he took out a broomstick and pushed the boat down the subway tunnel like it was a damn gondola...”

Blue started snickering. “Oh, this is good...”

“No wait. It gets better. There we were, floating around in the subway. It’s cold. I heard bugs crawling around. Hank put his arm around me and said, ‘Isn’t it great that we can finally be alone together.’ Before I knew it, his tongue was all over my face. Then he reached down, started to put his hand down my shirt...”

I paused for effect. Blue feigned shock and tried to stifle her laughter. 

“Oh no! The cad! Then what?!”

“...And then, I shoved him into the lake.”

“Oh no, you didn’t?!”

“Yes, I did. He flipped head over heels overboard straight to the bottom of the lake. He floated back up, spitting out water and yelling, ‘Why the hell did you do that?!’ I yelled back, ‘Why the hell did you do that?!’ We’re yelling at each other, all the while he’s struggling to get back into the boat. But I was a little afraid of what he’s going to do to me, so I didn’t let him in. Anyway, all that yelling and splashing started to attract attention. And that was when...”

“Yeah?”

“...A mirelurk showed up and tried to eat us. I used his broomstick oar to pull him back to the boat, and then we frantically pushed the boat back to shore. The mirelurk chased us all the way back to where we came in. I managed to get up the ladder. Unfortunately, Hank lost his shoe when the mirelurk grabbed his foot. He made it up though—he was lucky he didn’t lose anything else.”

“Oh wow! What happened after that?”

“We ran back home to Diamond City. Hank was still coughing up the water he drank when he fell in. He threatened to tell people what happened and get Nat and me kicked out of Diamond City. I threatened to tell his mom what really happened—that he tried to take advantage of an orphaned sixteen-year-old girl. And then I said I would tell the school, the mayor, and everyone else in Diamond City.”

“Well played.”

“Yeah, well, he must have been more embarrassed about the whole thing than me, because he eventually backed down. Instead, he made up a story about how he fell into the city’s water supply. I did offer to pay for some of his RadAway treatments, but he wouldn’t take my caps. Now Hank works for Diamond City Security. We try to avoid each other, but he doesn’t bother me. He knows if he does, I can publish the whole story about our one and only ‘date.’”

“Is that the only story you haven’t published?”

“Not the only story, but it’s my insurance, at least for him. And to answer your other question, no, he didn’t turn me off to guys. But he did turn me off to first impressions.”

“Well then. I’ll have to remember to be more careful about dating in this century.”

“No kidding. A girl can’t be too careful... And, we’ve reached a dead end.”

We had long since arrived at the end of the tunnel by the time I wrapped up my story. We looked around and immediately noticed the conspicuous red wiring leading from a sealed grave to the now-familiar Freedom Trail marker mounted to the wall. It looked like the outer ring in the marker could spin, like a combination lock.

“Let’s see what this does, shall we?” Blue proclaimed. “Hand me the clues?”

I gave her the slip of paper from my notepad where we had been collecting clues from the various markers we encountered, a series of letters and numbers. Blue glimpsed the page, then quickly tossed it aside and started dialing the combination.

“I swear, what is it with secret organizations and their blatantly obvious passcodes? We could have saved ourselves the trouble of jotting these down.”

“You forget Blue, most people in the 23rd century can’t read, let alone spell ‘Railroad.’”

“Sigh, point taken,” Blue remarked as she spun the dial.

With the final letter dialed in, Blue pushed the button. There was a low rumble as the wall in front of us slid open. Cold air and mist rushed out to greet us, revealing a dark tunnel.

Blue sidled next to me and whispered, “You know, Piper, if we get out of here alive, I can show you my ‘Tunnel of Love.’”

I rolled my eyes. I couldn’t decide whether to slap her or kiss her. 

Instead, I replied, “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.” Blue grinned. 

We readied our guns and entered the tunnel. The blackness was impenetrable, even with Blue’s Pip Boy light. This was obviously a trap. We went in anyway.

In an instant, we were blinded by floodlights. When our eyes adjusted, we saw three people with guns trained on us.

“Stop right there!”

Blue dropped her shotgun and put her hands up. “This is so not the ‘Tunnel of Love.’”

I dropped my rifle and raised my hands. “No shit.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is one of the first chapters I wrote 4 years ago that inspired me to want to write this entire fic, and it hasn’t changed very much aside from minor tweaks. 4 years and 6 months later, it’s finally on AO3!
> 
> In my playthrough, Piper’s dialogue about her “Tunnel of Love” date happened while we were searching for the Railroad, and I practically fell out of my chair yelling, “WHAT?!!!” In my mind’s eye, I had visions of Blue asking Piper about what happened during the date, à la “Love Connection” ~~“The Dating Game” (Okay, I’m totally dating myself with that reference, although I’m not old enough to have watched the Dating Game while it was airing...but I digress.)~~ (Edit: Oops I got my references wrong, it was Love Connection where the host asked what happened on the date... shows you what I know XD)
> 
> FYI I plan to go back to post weekly again until at least the end of this coming arc. Thanks for reading!


	26. The Freedom Train

“Stop right there!”

Blue and I stood side-by-side in the musty stone tunnel with our hands raised. Across from us, the outlines of three mysterious figures standing on a perch resolved as our eyes adjusted to the harsh glare of floodlights. 

To my right, a pale-skinned man wearing a newsboy cap and a blue denim jacket pointed a pistol at us. To my left, a woman with dark brown skin, a white sidecut, and chest armor aimed a menacing minigun outfitted with jagged metal teeth. 

They flanked their leader, a redheaded woman with a grey checkered scarf coiled around her neck and a faded yellow cutoff denim jacket. She regarded us sternly while casually smoking a cigarette.

“You went through a lot of effort to come here,” the leader said, exhaling a long plume of smoke. “But before we go any further, answer my questions. Who the hell are you?”

I glanced sideways at Blue. If she was nervous about being held at gunpoint, she didn’t show it.

“Put down your weapons first,” Blue demanded.

“Until I determine you’re not a threat, we’ll point our weapons wherever we damned well please,” the leader retorted. 

“Why don’t you tell me who you are first?” Blue snapped back.

The leader took another drag from her cigarette and exhaled. “In a world full of suspicion, treachery, and hunters—we’re the synths only friends. We’re the Railroad. So answer my questions.”

“We followed the Freedom Trail looking for the Railroad,” Blue replied. “I’m not your enemy.”

The leader arched an eyebrow. “If that’s true, you have nothing to fear. Who told you how to contact us?”

“Nobody,” Blue replied. “We just heard rumors, and saw your little recruiting holotapes lying around everywhere.”

“I see. I’m Desdemona, and I’m the leader of the Railroad. And you... ”

Before Desdemona could finish, a dark-haired greaser straight from the 2070s, complete with a white t-shirt and sunglasses, strolled nonchalantly into the middle of the standoff.

“Deacon, where’ve you been?” Desdemona demanded.

The greaser Deacon tilted down his sunglasses and surveyed the scene. “You’re having a party. What gives with my invitation?”

“I need intel. Who is this?” 

“Wow. News flash, boss, this lady is kind of a big deal out there.”

“Do we know each other?” Blue asked. 

I stared hard at Deacon. He looked...vaguely familiar. I sifted through my memories. He sort of looked like that new guy in Diamond City Security. Or was he that random drifter I passed by in Goodneighbor? Or maybe he was that guy zoned out in the corner of the Memory Den? Shit, of course. He had been spying on us for the Railroad.

“I didn’t need to meet you to hear about you. You’ve made waves, pal,” Deacon answered. “Dez, seriously, you haven’t heard of her? She’s the leader of the Minutemen. It seems like the whole Commonwealth is flying her flag. And as if that wasn’t enough, the Railroad owes you a crate—hell, a truckload—of Nuka Cola for what you did to Kellogg.”

“You’re the one who killed Kellogg?” Desdemona asked, incredulous. 

“She did, boss. Kellogg got his brains blown out by hers truly,” Deacon said.

“Frozen, blown apart, and rethawed, to be exact,” Blue corrected.

“Impressive. On behalf of the Railroad, thank you for taking him out,” Desdemona complimented. “Conrad Kellogg’s been at the top of our most-wanted list for years. So you’re vouching for her, Deacon?”

“Yes, trust me, she’s someone we want on our side,” Deacon assured.

“That changes things.” Desdemona signaled her guards to stow their weapons. “So, stranger, why did you want to meet with us, anyway?”

“My son, Shaun, was kidnapped,” Blue explained. “I’m looking for help to find him.”

“Someone stole your boy? That’s terrible. For your sake, I hope the Institute isn’t involved.”

Blue sighed. “Unfortunately, they are. Kellogg kidnapped him for the Institute, and murdered my husband in the process. By the time I caught up with Kellogg, he had already handed Shaun over to them.”

“My God.” Desdemona paced around, looking deeply troubled. “I’ve never heard of them taking children. What the Institute has done to your family—and others—is what drives us. I’ll have Deacon look into this.” Deacon nodded in acknowledgment.

Desdemona stepped down from the perch and approached Blue. “If we’re going to be dealing with you, I need to know we’re on the same page. You know what a synth is, right?”

“I know about them, yes,” Blue answered.

“They are synthetic human beings created by the Institute. So close to real people that the distinction is meaningless. The Institute treats synths as property. As tools. We seek to free the synths from their bondage. Give them a chance at a real life.”

Desdemona’s eyes bored into Blue’s. “I have a question, the only question that matters. Would you risk your life for your fellow man? Even if that man is a synth?”

Blue hesitated. “Any synth?”

“Yes, and answer with your gut on this. Your heart. If you had to put yourself in danger to save a synth, would you do it?”

Blue mulled over the question. “To be perfectly honest—no, probably not. But for a synth I know—for my friend Nick—yes, absolutely. I’d risk my life for him.”

“Nick Valentine? The detective?”

“Yes. That’s one of the reasons I came looking for you. Nick chose to risk his life, his very identity, to help me find my son.”

“Interesting,” Desdemona mused. She took another drag. “The fact that you’re friends with Nick Valentine tells me something—that you accept that he is, in fact, a person.”

“A person? Of course Nick’s a person,” Blue said. “It’s self-evident.”

“And why is his personhood self-evident?”

Blue rubbed her chin. “He has intelligence and he’s self-aware, which implies consciousness. By his own free will, he chose to help me despite the risk to his well-being. Nobody compelled him to do it.”

“Most people don’t accept that premise,” Desdemona said. “They see synths, freed or not, as nothing more than soulless machines.”

“The soul question is best left to the philosophers,” Blue answered. “But I think you’re talking about personhood. Hmm...that is an open question. There’s never been a legal precedent establishing personhood and individual rights for AIs or synthetic beings.” 

“Legal precedent? What good is that these days? When my people are dying?” 

We turned our attention to one of Desdemona’s guards, the woman with the sidecut and the minigun. She set down her minigun, then stepped off the perch and approached Blue. 

“None, admittedly, in the absence of a strong government or judiciary,” Blue answered, eying the guard. “And you are?”

“They call me Glory. The angel of death.” She held out her hand. “Saw some of your work along the trail. Not bad. For a human, that is.” 

Blue shook her hand. “You’re a synth.”

“In the artificial flesh,” Glory answered. “And before you start with the questions, the only thing I’ll say about it is this: all those rumors out there are bullshit. I’m as real a girl as you’ll ever meet. The only difference is I bet your assembly instructions were a hell of a lot more fun... But I didn’t come down here to talk about how I was made. I don’t agree with how you’re talking about my people.”

“Glory...” Desdemona admonished.

“No Dez, I gotta say this. We’re not an abstract construct for you to debate about. We’re people. Sure, we’re assembled differently, but we’re still people. I’ve been living free for years. And no one out there—not one person—has ever thought I was a synth.”

“There are a lot of people like me, like your friend Nick, who are out here just trying to live their lives,” Glory continued. “But as long as my people aren’t free—as long as they’re being hunted or treated like a coffee maker like I was—no one is free. No one is safe from the Institute.” 

Glory looked Blue in the eye. “So I’m asking you, answer Dez’s question again. If you had to put yourself in danger to save a synth, would you do it? Would you stand up for someone like me?”

Blue closed her eyes. She considered what Glory said, thinking back to something from her past. Then Blue dropped her head, ashamed.

“Shit. You’re absolutely right. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. Say you’ll stand with me.”

Blue nodded, resolved. “Yes. I’ll stand with you. I’ll stand with your people.”

Desdemona smiled and put her hand on Glory’s shoulder. “Well said. Tell me, what happened with your friend Nick?”

“Right... With Dr. Amari’s help, Nick helped us extract valuable intel about the Institute, from Kellogg’s cranial implant. But we don’t know if the procedure will have any...lingering side effects.”

“I see. What sort of intel?”

Blue smirked. “I’m willing to share, if we can work out a deal.”

“That depends. What are your terms?”

“Three things. First, you help us monitor Nick for any behavior changes. I assume your team knows a thing or two about synth cognitive functions?”

“We might. Go on.” 

“Two, that the Railroad and the Minutemen form a mutual alliance to share intel and resources so that we can secure territory to the south. And I’ll tell you the third condition once you agree.”

Desdemona bristled at Blue’s demands. She dropped her cigarette and snuffed it out with her foot. “With all due respect, the Minutemen are weak. Their coalition fell apart after Quincy.”

“We’ve come a long way since then,” Blue rebutted.

“Hmph, we’ll see. Not everyone in the Minutemen is sympathetic to free synths. Prejudice against synths runs deep.”

“Many are scarred by what the Institute’s synths have done to their families. But I’m their leader now. I’ll convince them to accept. Or at the very least, to be tolerant.”

Desdemona scoffed. “You must have a lot of confidence in your ability to persuade. Still, this is quite the ask. I must insist then as part of our alliance, you help us infiltrate the Brotherhood of Steel and report on their activity in the Commonwealth.”

“Spy on the Brotherhood? Why?”

“It’s no secret that they have an intolerant view of synths,” Desdemona explained. “Their leader, Elder Maxson, is fanatical about eliminating all non-human life and anyone he deems an existential threat to humanity. That includes super mutants, ghouls, and synths.”

“Besides, we know you joined up with them,” Deacon interjected. “I saw you working with Paladin Danse’s crew over at the Cambridge Police Station.”

“Is that true?” Desdemona asked. Glory glared at Blue, alarmed by this revelation.

“It is,” Blue admitted unapologetically. “But I only worked for them in the hopes that they’d help me find my son. I don’t support their genocidal views.”

“Hey, you do what you gotta do,” Deacon said. “Point is, the Brotherhood is sticking their noses and vertibirds up all over the place. We want to know what their plans are. You’re in the perfect position to find out.”

Blue considered this for a moment. “Done.”

“It’s a deal then.” Blue and Desdemona shook hands. “Now, what’s your third condition?”

“Condition three is—you help me safely navigate the Glowing Sea.”  
...  
Desdemona and her crew finally let us into their secret hideout. It was a wide-open crypt lined with the same stone and mortar as the tunnels. Desks, mattresses, and workbenches were jammed in between ancient stone coffins holding the desiccated remains of Boston’s oldest residents.

Inside, we met the rest of their core leadership: Dr. Carrington, Tinker Tom, and PAM their military AI robot in charge of strategy. Drummer Boy, their courier, was the one who had pointed a pistol at us. Glory was what they called a Railroad heavy—their frontline soldiers.

“An Institute scientist is hiding in the Glowing Sea?!” Desdemona was astonished.

“Yes. Dr. Brian Virgil, he defected from the Institute several months ago. Kellogg was assigned to hunt him down, but I got to Kellogg first. If Dr. Virgil figured out how to break out of the Institute, my hope is he can tell us how to break back in.”

“Hmm.” Desdemona considered the possibilities. “Assuming that Dr. Virgil is still alive, if he can tell us how to get into the Institute, that could be a game-changer for us.”

Desdemona lit a fresh cigarette. “You’ve come to the Railroad at a critical time, Wanderer.” I stifled a laugh over Desdemona’s spontaneously chosen codename for Blue. “We recently relocated our HQ here after the Institute chased us out of our last location. The Institute is ramping up its incursions all over the Commonwealth. And we’ve lost contact with several of our safe houses, including those in the south. We may need your help to reclaim those first before you can establish a safe route to the Glowing Sea.”

“Absolutely. Whatever you need,” Blue offered.

“Excellent. First, Deacon and Tinker Tom will train you as a Railroad agent. We don’t normally train new recruits as agents so quickly, but the news you bring is troubling, and we need to act.” She pointed her cigarette in Blue’s face. “Don’t make me regret this decision.”

“You won’t, boss,” Deacon assured. “I got a good feeling about her. She’ll be reading rail signs and handling dead drops in no time.”

“Dead...drops?” Blue asked naively.

“Or not,” Deacon retracted.

Oh boy. “C’mon, Blue, this isn’t amateur hour,” I scolded, putting my hand over my face.

“Well excuse me for not speaking spy yet,” Blue retorted, screwing her face at me. “I made it this far, right? I’m a fast learner, I’ll figure it out.”

“Good, it’s settled then, Wanderer,” Desdemona concluded. “Now, what do we do with you?”

Desdemona pointed, and the entire Railroad leadership looked at me. 

I turned around, thinking they were talking about someone else. No one else was behind me. 

“Who, me?”  
...  
Up to this point, I hadn’t even been part of the conversation. But now, the entire Railroad leadership was staring uncomfortably at me.

“What about me?”

Desdemona walked up to me. “You are a security risk, Piper Wright. We can’t have you compromising our operations by reporting us in your newspaper.”

“What?! That’s ridiculous. I fully support what you’re doing freeing synths from the Institute. Nick Valentine’s practically my best friend. Believe me, I have no interest in compromising your security.”

“That’s right, Piper’s with me,” Blue defended. “The Railroad’s secrets are safe with her.”

“Unfortunately, that’s not good enough,” Desdemona argued. “Even if you do support our cause, we can’t risk you unintentionally revealing details of our operation. You knowing the location of our headquarters is already an unacceptable security risk.”

“What do you suggest we do, Dez?” Deacon asked. “We can’t lock her up or kill her. Piper’s too high-profile. People will notice.”

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. “Give me a fucking break. I swear on my father’s grave that I’m not going to reveal anything about the Railroad’s operations.”

“That’s not my only concern,” Desdemona said. “I also take issue with your reporting. Your article insinuating Mayor McDonough was a synth dealt us a major setback.”

“But he _is_ a synth!” I exclaimed. “I don’t have proof yet, but McDonough’s a shoo-in for an Institute body swap if I ever saw one.”

“Yes, we suspect that as well,” Desdemona said matter-of-factly. “But that’s beside the point. The point is that your article caused a major panic, and not just in Diamond City. Neighbors in settlements all over the Commonwealth started accusing each other of being synths. The heightened fear and paranoia endangered lives and made our operations to move synths even more complicated. What you write has consequences, Piper.” 

“Look, I don’t know what you want from me,” I argued. “I fully support your cause and won’t do anything to jeopardize it. But you can’t censor me. People have to know the truth. It’s the only way they can really protect themselves.”

“That might work for you. But in our world, things aren’t so black and white. The Institute is watching our every move. And people simply aren’t ready to accept free synths. Secrecy is the only way to protect them...”

“Stop! Please, everybody, stop!” Blue interrupted. “This debate is getting us nowhere. Desdemona, we’re all on the same team. We want to help you. And by the looks of it, you need our help. We’re already sworn to secrecy about your operational details. But you can’t censor Piper. If you do, I walk. And then nobody gets into the Institute. So I suggest you find another way.”

Desdemona crossed her arms, annoyed. “Fine. What do you suggest?”

Blue looked at me, the wheels turning in her head. I had a feeling she was about to say something I wasn’t going to like. 

“Send Piper to report about the Brotherhood.”

“What?!” Desdemona and I both exclaimed at the same time.

“Have Piper become an embedded reporter with the Brotherhood. She convinces Elder Maxson to tell their side of the story, while digging up whatever dirt she can.” 

I stared at Blue. What the hell was she getting me into?

“Their side?” Desdemona was in disbelief. “Why would we allow that?”

“If there’s anything that’s stayed true in the 500-plus-year history of the Commonwealth, it’s that people value their independence. If the Brotherhood is as xenophobic and authoritarian as we suspect, the Commonwealth will make up its own mind.”

Desdemona scoffed. “Hmph, you’re putting a lot of faith in people’s common decency.”

“People _are_ decent. I’ve seen it. They wouldn’t be joining the Minutemen if they didn’t believe things could be better.”

“If you say so. And what about you, Wanderer? What will you do?”

“I’ll help with your operations as needed, then I’ll enlist with the Brotherhood. Find out what I can as a recruit. That way, we spy on the Brotherhood from two angles.”

Desdemona thought about it for a minute. “Alright. But for the sake of operational security, you two can’t work together.”   
...  
Deacon pulled Blue and me aside. “Hope you didn’t mind the reception. When you tango with the Institute you got to be careful when someone new gets on the dance floor.”

“We weren’t exactly expecting slippers and a cold Nuka Cola,” I said. “Although getting grilled about my reporting practices wasn’t much fun either.”

“The precautions are necessary,” Deacon explained. “In our business, if we underestimate our enemy’s capabilities, it’s game over. But it’s all good now. Nobody got shot. Still, I would consider it a close personal favor if neither of you sells us out to the Institute. Thanks.”

“Deacon, why did you vouch for me?” Blue asked. “You barely even know me.”

“In our little outfit, it’s my job to know things. And with everything you’ve done, it’s clear you’re capable. A dangerous enemy. And, I’m betting, a valuable ally.”

“But why the trust? You can’t be taking it all on faith.”

“I don’t know if we can trust you. But I hope we can. We just survived a hell of a crisis. So we may be just a teeny, weeny bit desperate for new members. And you piqued my interest, so maybe I asked around. Did my homework. If you two hadn’t found us, there’s a chance I would’ve found you, instead. So thanks for saving me the trip.”

Deacon turned to me. “Hey Piper, first I gotta give your girlfriend a crash course in tradecraft. But Dez wants me to meet you at Boston Airport to get onto that airship. I’m going to be your handler—I’ve got the perfect newsboy disguise I’ve been wanting to try.”

Deacon handed me a small device to send and receive encoded radio transmissions. “I’ll contact you in a few days on this frequency. And from now on, your codename’s Gabby.”

“Gabby? Seriously?!”

Deacon shrugged. “Don’t blame the messenger, Gabs. I don’t pick ‘em.”

“Hoo boy. Well, if I have a few days, I should head home first. I need to explain to my sister why we’re suddenly branching into war reporting.”

“Sounds good. See you on the blimp, Gabs.” Deacon turned to Blue. “Wanderer, let me know when you’re ready to head out to that job we talked about.”

“Thanks, Deacon. Do you mind if I talk to Piper—I mean, Gabby—in private first, before we go?” I shot Blue a dirty look.

Deacon chuckled. “Sure. Knock yourselves out.”  
...  
We walked through the crumbled brick wall into the hallway leading to the Railroad’s emergency escape tunnel. Several mattresses were placed on the floor at the end of the hall closest to us. A pair of synths in hiding was fast asleep on one of the mattresses. We stood down the hall so as not to disturb them.

Blue put her hands in her pockets, looking apologetic. “Piper, I’m really sorry about all this.”

I threw up my hands. “Yeah, what gives? Why do you get the cool codename? You didn’t even know what a dead drop was.”

Blue coughed. “Um, I don’t know. Because I remind them of that swinger in the song that Travis plays on Diamond City Radio? Or maybe they noticed I get lost all the time?”

I laughed. “Thanks for trying, but I still think you got the better name.”

“Well, it was worth a shot. What I meant was... I’m sorry for roping you into reporting on the Brotherhood of Steel. That wasn’t exactly on my agenda when I woke up this morning.”

I shrugged. “It’s better than the alternative of me getting killed or imprisoned for eternity. Thanks for sticking up for me, though.”

“Of course. You don’t have to do this, you know. I’ve got your back, no matter what.”

“Thanks, Blue. It’s ok. I’m curious to see what the Brotherhood is up to myself. It’s just...” I bit my lip.

“What is it?”

“It’s just... I’m not used to answering to anyone about my reporting. It’s one thing getting yelled at by McDonough—that’s about speaking truth to power. But now the Railroad’s scrutinizing me. I might not agree with everything they’re doing, but they’ve been fighting the Institute for a long time. So I get why I can’t report about them—it’ll endanger too many lives. And soon, the Brotherhood will be putting me under a microscope too. I just don’t know if I can stay objective.”

Blue nodded. “I hear you, that’s a tough ethical dilemma. It’s not going to be easy. But for what it’s worth, I think you’re being more thoughtful about this than the journalists back in my day. You’ll figure out how to navigate this. And I’m here for you if you need to talk about anything.”

“Thanks, Blue. I just don’t want to become anyone’s propaganda mouthpiece.”

“You won’t. You do it your way. No matter the consequences. You’re the paper of record out here. We all need to know the truth.”

Hearing that from Blue meant a lot to me, that she believed in my work. I hugged her in appreciation. 

Then it dawned on me that we were going to be apart again.

“Blue...”

“I know.”

We let go. Blue held my hands, looking sad.

“Look, this sucks, I know. I’m not thrilled about being apart again either. But at least we’re both working on the same thing. And it’s not like we’re far away or overseas or anything. It’s just that the commute sucks.”

I tilted my head, puzzled. “Blue, I have no idea what a commute is.” 

“No, I guess you wouldn’t.” Blue smiled wistfully. 

Sensing something else on my mind, Blue added, “I won’t disappear again, I promise. We’ll figure this out together, okay? Just give me a few days to do this thing with Deacon. I’ll meet you back in Diamond City before you go. We’ll do dinner at Takahashi’s. My treat.”

“How long?” I asked.

“I don’t know...a week?”

“Three days.”

“Too soon! Five.”

“Four.”

“Tell you what, if I get back in four, we’ll go Dutch. Deal?”

“Deal.” We kissed to seal the deal. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” 

Blue hugged me one last time. Then I headed towards the door leading to the Railroad’s emergency escape tunnel.

When I reached the door, I turned around. “Four. I’m holding you to that!”

“A deal’s a deal,” Blue responded. 

As I opened the door, Blue shouted, “Hey Piper... Watch out for that Tunnel of Love.”

I rolled my eyes. “When this is all over, we’re going to find a real Tunnel of Love. Not the, you know...”

Blue laughed and flashed the widest grin, the biggest smile I’d seen from her in a long time. It made me happy seeing her this way. And it made me believe that we could manage.

It wasn’t ideal, but maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. She was worth the wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I borrow a lot of canon dialogue in this chapter, but upon reflection on current events, it became clear that Glory needed to have a stronger presence here than how she's presented in canon. I’ve posted a deeper dive about this chapter on my Tumblr: <https://velvet-helvetica.tumblr.com/post/622698617108643840/thoughts-on-chapter-26>
> 
> Other minor notes: Blue’s dialogue about Nick’s personhood is a nod to the _Star Trek: The Next Generation_ episode “The Measure of a Man,” written by Melinda M. Snodgrass. And Piper’s goofy codename is a wink at her “Gift of Gab” perk.


	27. Brotherhood of Tyrants

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AN: This chapter is BOS critical.

_This and no other is the root from which a tyrant springs—when he first appears he is a protector.  
—Plato_

...

“Brothers and Sisters, the road behind has been long and fraught with difficulty...”

I couldn’t help but stare at the rope-like veins bulging from Elder Maxson’s unbelievably thick neck as he spoke. His grizzled beard, gnarled facial scar, and thick overcoat heightened his stature, masking the fact that he was actually a few years younger than me. The youngest known Elder of any Brotherhood faction.

I stood off to the side of the command room, pretending to take notes as Maxson spewed forth his oratory. The room was filled to capacity with humorless jarheads, transfixed by his rousing yet maniacal delivery. 

My handler Deacon, posing as my plucky unpaid intern, stood in the back while nervously adjusting his tie and straightening his moth-eaten sweater vest. No doubt he was trying to appear as unthreatening as possible, while silently cataloging all the weak points and flammable items on the airship.

How did I let Blue talk me into this? By the time I left the Railroad’s secret headquarters, I had convinced myself that I wanted to be an embedded reporter for the Brotherhood. That this was a good opportunity for _Publick Occurrences_ to expand into the exciting field of war reporting. That I wasn’t really spying on the Brotherhood for the Railroad, if whatever I found out was going to end up in the public record anyway. That me waltzing into Boston Airport, waving around my handwritten press pass, and demanding an audience with Elder Maxson was a brilliant, foolproof idea.

But the moment that I was airlifted with Deacon up to the flight deck of the Prydwen and entered that oppressive command room, I realized that was all a load of crock. This was all Blue’s fault. And she wasn’t around for me to complain to about it.

But it was too late to back out now. I’d have to do a better job of pretending to pay attention.

“...It is time to reveal our purpose and our mission. Beneath the Commonwealth, there is a cancer... known as the Institute...”

My ears perked up. How did they know about the Institute? And what did they know?

“...A malignant growth that needs to be cut before it infects the surface. They are experimenting with dangerous technologies that could prove to be the world’s undoing for the second time in recent history. The Institute scientists have created a weapon that transcends the destructive nature of the atom bomb. They call their creation the ‘synth’...”

Apparently they knew a lot. Deacon paused his neurotic grooming to listen in.

“... A robotic abomination of technology that is free-thinking and masquerades as a human being. The notion that a machine could be granted free will is not only offensive, but horribly dangerous. And like the atom, if it isn’t harnessed properly, it has the potential of rendering us extinct as a species.”

Oh boy, Nick wouldn’t like the sound of this. Neither would the Railroad. Deacon appeared nonplussed as he resumed smoothing the wig under his newsboy cap, but I sensed he was troubled too.

“I am not prepared to allow the Institute to continue this line of experimentation. Therefore, the Institute and their ‘synths’ are considered enemies of the Brotherhood of Steel, and should be dealt with swiftly and mercilessly. This campaign will be costly, and many lives will be lost. But in the end, we will be saving humankind from its worst enemy...itself. _Ad victoriam!_ ”

“AD VICTORIAM!” A chill ran down my spine as the collective roar of the Brotherhood’s victory slogan rattled my ears.

...

“Miss Wright, a word?”

After the speech, most of the Knights and Initiates had cleared out of the command room, leaving me alone with Elder Maxson. Deacon slunk behind me, acting as my transcriber.

“First of all, welcome to the Prydwen. This is the first time I’ve ever had a member of the press aboard my airship.” Maxson extended a hand, the one he purportedly used to single-handedly kill a deathclaw. I shook it, and the force of his handshake nearly jerked me off-balance. 

“Well, we’re a rare breed, us reporters. Or the only one, in my case.”

“Indeed. Paladin Danse made his opinions about you and your paper quite clear to me.”

“What, that I’m here to manipulate the truth for my agenda? Not exactly a ringing endorsement for free speech.”

Maxson smiled and slowly paced the room, crossing his hands behind his back. “You’ll have to forgive Paladin Danse. He is one of my most respected officers, and his unwavering loyalty makes him very protective of the Brotherhood.”

He looked at me sincerely. “The truth is, none of are used to dealing with the press. So much was destroyed by the War, it’s a small miracle that you’ve managed to revive the written word.”

I was taken aback. “Why, thank you.”

“Unlike Paladin Danse, I feel you can be a valuable asset to the Brotherhood,” Maxson continued. “So, I’ve decided to take up your offer to cover our operations as an embedded reporter.”

“That’s—great! Thank you.”

“There are certain conditions that I expect you to follow. One, when you’re out in the field, you will be escorted by a small armed detail. Two, during operations, you are to follow orders at all times—it’s for your protection as much as for our troops. While we can’t fully guarantee your safety, we will follow the Brotherhood code of conduct to shield you from danger as much as possible.”

“Okay, that all sounds reasonable...”

“And three, I will vet everything that you write before it’s published.”

“Ah, no way on that last one, Maxson.”

“That’s _Elder_ Maxson to you, Miss Wright.”

“Okay, Elder Maxson.” How weird was it to call someone ‘Elder’ who’s four years younger than you? “The answer is still no. Like it or not, I’m the only paper of record out here. If people so much as catch a whiff that I’m sugar-coating the truth, then I’ll lose credibility. People will stop believing what they read. Then you have no one to tell your side of the story.”

Maxson curled his lip. “You expect me to just _trust_ you to depict us fairly and accurately to the Commonwealth?”

“To be blunt, yes. You already have an escort following me wherever you want me to go. I’m going to report whatever I see. If you really believe that what you’re doing is right, then you have nothing to worry about.”

Maxson stroked his ferocious beard, considering this. “Very well, Miss Wright. As much as it goes against my better instincts, I will trust you. If that’s the case, I hope you understand that you’ll be restricted from accessing certain operational details, for security reasons.”

“I understand.”

“And be forewarned, Miss Wright—you’re on a tight leash. Push too hard, and I’ll throw you and your unpaid intern off this airship without so much as a parachute.”

...

500 feet above Boston Airport, I stood outside the Prydwen at the end of the narrow perch of the forecastle. I needed a break from the cold steel, angry scowls, and lousy haircuts of the Brotherhood. Deacon wandered off to study the ship, leaving me to explore on my own.

The view of Boston was breathtaking. The skies were clear, a rare day where the radioactive haze didn’t obscure visibility. I took in the spectacular unobstructed view of Boston’s seashore, the striking mid-21st-century design of the downtown skyscrapers, the brush of a gentle breeze with barely a hint of contaminated ozone, and the optimism of the Brotherhood troops bustling around the airport below. From up here, you could fool yourself into believing that life below wasn’t a harsh, unforgiving, post-apocalyptic struggle for survival.

“Incredible view, isn’t it?”

I turned around to see who it was. A tall, rugged soldier with a tightly cropped beard stood behind me, about two-thirds of the way along the perch. The broad chiseled strokes of his eyebrows framed his gentle brown eyes. A small scar from a long-forgotten skirmish interrupted his right brow. His face was neutral without being confrontational, as I’d come to expect from pretty much everyone in the Brotherhood.

“I’m not interrupting, am I, Ms. Wright?”

“Not at all, Paladin Danse, there’s plenty of room. Just came out for some air.”

“Me too.” Paladin Danse approached closer, stopping to maintain a respectable distance from me. He was wearing the standard BOS uniform, a faded orange jumpsuit that served as the underarmor for the Power Armor he usually wore. He had also removed his hood, and his dark black hair rippled in the wind. It was the first time I saw his hair, and it was longer at the top than I expected. Perhaps it was a privilege of his rank to opt out of the conformist buzzcuts of the rank-and-file.

“You can call me Piper, by the way. I almost didn’t recognize you without your Power Armor,” I remarked.

“I’m off-duty. And besides, it’s safer to walk the forecastle without the extra weight. Despite any rumors you might have heard—no, I don’t live in my Power Armor. I have to take it off sometimes to conserve power.”

I laughed. “Well, I don’t always believe rumors anyway—it wouldn’t be professional.”

“Ah.” Paladin Danse nodded and was silent for a moment. “I imagine it must be hard for a civilian to adjust to the standards of the Brotherhood.”

“I’ve suffered through worse, believe me,” I said. “Compared to fighting synths and super mutants or farming in a tiny settlement, hanging out on the Prydwen is easy street.”

“Oh, I didn’t know... I thought you were from Diamond City.”

“Nope, I moved there a few years ago with my sister Nat. Lived just outside the Commonwealth before I lost both parents when I was sixteen. Then lived off the kindness of strangers before Nat and I got to Diamond City.”

“I see. At least you knew your parents.” Danse rested his forearms on the guardrail, taking in the view. “Me, I never knew mine. I grew up an orphan in the Capitol Wasteland.”

“Oh... I’m so sorry. That must have been hard.”

Danse was moved. “It was. I’m not even sure how I survived as a child. I worked as a scavenger, picking through the ruins. Even tried my hand at running a junk stand in Rivet City before I joined the Brotherhood with my friend Cutler. Best decision I ever made.”

“A junk stand? Wow, I can’t imagine you as a junk merchant.”

Danse smiled. “It’s true, although I’d appreciate it if you didn’t publish that. I do have a reputation to maintain.”

I laughed. “You bet. No exposés about Paladin Danse, entrepreneurial junk trader.”

Danse chuckled and looked at his hands for a moment as he gathered his next thought. “Piper, since we’re both out here... We may have gotten off on the wrong foot earlier. What I told Elder Maxson before... I stand by what I said, but I can see why you would think that was disrespectful.”

I crossed my arms. “Yeah, just a little.”

“The thing is,” Danse continued, “The Brotherhood needs to share our vision with the people of the Commonwealth. Just so we’re clear, I do support Elder Maxson’s decision to let you shadow our troops. It’s important for the people to know what we’re doing and why, so they can support our cause. In this case, the Brotherhood finds the press to be... a necessary evil. In times of war, propaganda is just as important as bullets.”

My jaw dropped. “Oh—wow. There’s all sorts of things wrong with what you just said there. With all due respect, I’m not some pre-War propagandist rag. I’m here to learn more about the Brotherhood, not to be anyone’s propaganda machine.”

Danse didn’t blink at my assertion. “Fair enough. All I’m asking is that you listen. We may not always agree, but we may have more in common that you might think.”

I uncrossed my arms. “I’m always willing to listen. As long as someone has something to say.”

He nodded and turned to leave. “It was nice talking to you, Piper. I’ll leave you to your thoughts then.”

Danse walked along the gangway back towards the Prydwen. He was halfway there when I called out one last question.

“Paladin Danse... What’s Liberty Prime?”

He whirled around, his eyes narrow. “Where did you hear that?”

“Anonymous source,” I evaded. Truth was, I overheard some Knights between decks mentioning the codename. Someone was going to get a tongue lashing tonight about operational security.

Danse scowled. “I believe it’s the codename for an old airbase in New York.” _Lie._

“You’re going to have to do better than that, Paladin,” I pressed.

His eyes grew cold, drilling into me. “No comment, Ms. Wright.” 

He extended an arm, motioning me to come inside. I reluctantly followed him back in.

Sigh. I hated being me sometimes.

…

I went back inside and sat alone in the corner of the Prydwen’s hold. Down here, someone had set up a recreation center for troops to spend their downtime. 

I poked around on the communal entertainment terminal, reflecting on my life up to this point. My uneasy encounters with Maxson and Danse, and overhearing the crew’s conversations about the need to eliminate all non-human ‘abominations’ had made me depressed.

I felt a tap on my shoulder. 

“Hey Gabs. What’d you think of Junior El Führer’s speech back there?”

Deacon. I shot him a look, annoyed both at my ridiculous nickname and his casual Nazi reference. Not that he was far off the mark.

“Too much? Okay, point taken, maybe we hold off on the Nazi comparisons until he actually succeeds in mass-murdering an entire species. Or species, plural. Now, that’s ambition right there!” Deacon shot me a sarcastic finger gun, then sat down next to me.

“How do you think they know about the Institute?” I whispered, figuring we might as well compare notes while we were stuck here.

“Well, it’s not exactly a secret,” Deacon replied. “Rumors about the Institute go back to before the War.”

“Yeah, I get that. But I mean, how did they know to come here? They flew like, what, 400 miles from the Capitol Wasteland. That’s a long way to come and commit your troops.”

“Seems like they got some good intel. Maybe someone on the inside? Although my guess is that our homeboy Paladin Danse found something that spooked them.”

“Huh. I’ll have to ask Blue later if she overheard anything when she freelanced for him.”

“Yeah, I expect she’ll get her formal enlistment papers in a week or two, once she finishes a few more errands for Dez. Not that you need to know that. We’ll find out soon enough, one way or another.”

I didn’t need another reminder from Deacon that I couldn’t work on Railroad operations with Blue, nor could I openly report about them. It did irk me that I couldn’t cover the Railroad, from a professional standpoint. Some publicity could potentially do them some good. But I didn’t get into journalism to destroy lives, despite what some people believed. The stakes were high, and for the safety of the synths they were freeing, the Railroad’s exploits had to be left off the record. 

I could live with that choice. But it did call into question whether I was doing the right thing by making these compromises.

“What do you think of what Maxson and Danse said?” I thought aloud. “About the press manipulating the truth for an agenda?”

Deacon shrugged. “What about it? Of course you have an agenda.”

“But I don’t!”

He tilted his head, astonished. “Seriously, Gabs? You’re honestly going to tell me with a straight face that you’ve never manipulated the truth for an agenda.”

“Yes! I mean, no…”

“Because I was there a few months ago when you lied to Danny Sullivan to get back into Diamond City.”

“You were?” That’s right, he _was_ that new guard hanging around with Danny. “That—that’s different. I was exposed out in the open, and my little sister was stuck inside, alone. They had no right to shut me out of my home.”

“I see. So you only lie when it’s convenient.”

I threw up my hands. “As a last resort! I don’t like doing it, but in this case, the ends justified the means. And it’s not like I wrote about it after.”

“Sure, Gabs. Then how about your Pulitzer prize-winning hit piece about Mayor McDonough ‘maybe’ being a synth, because he was sitting at the same noodle stand chair as the synth who went postal 60 years ago. ‘Cause that went over real well with people…”

“But he _is_ a synth! All the evidence…”

“Circumstantial evidence…”

“…Yes, circumstantial evidence, points to him being a synth! You don’t get it. I tried investigating around it. I tried calling McDonough out ‘by the book.’ But nobody cared. Nobody was seeing what I was seeing, that the corruption in Diamond City, the unsolved kidnappings, his erratic behavior—they were all signs that the Institute is involved. They just—ignored it all.”

“So you thought the next best thing was to scare the bejeezus out of people.”

“No! I wanted to warn them! To get them to open their eyes! To pay attention to what was right in front of them!”

Deacon crossed his arms. “Uh huh. So you had an agenda.”

“Why is it an agenda to inspire people to discover the truth? To do what’s right?”

“Because not everyone agrees with your version of the truth.”

“Oh.” I rolled my eyes. “You’re one of those ‘truth is relative’ people, aren’t you? Well, it’s not.”

Deacon scoffed, skeptical. “Isn’t it, though?” 

“No, it’s not.” I pounded my palm on the desk. “The truth is the truth.”

“Says who? You?”

“Well, no…not just me. But I can tell right from wrong. What’s true, and what’s a lie.” 

“Really. You can tell a truth from a lie.”

“Yeah, it’s like my superpower.” 

Deacon raised an eyebrow. “Can you tell if I’m lying?” 

“That’s easy, because you lie all the time.”

He laughed. “Okay, you have a point there, sister. But let’s test this superpower of yours with a little game of ‘Two Truths and a Lie.’ The twist is, you don’t know if I’m really telling any truths or any lies.”

My gut relished the challenge. “Alright. Bring it on.”

“Okay.” Deacon closed his eyes and put his fingers on his temples, making a big show of coming up with a randomized set of truths and lies. “I was one of the first synths freed by the Railroad. I also used to have a pet mole rat named Bessie. And once, I murdered an entire gang to avenge my love.”

Deacon opened his eyes and stared at me, putting on his poker face.

I stared back. “The first one’s too easy. You’re no synth.”

“Okay, you got me there. I fooled your girlfriend, though. You should’ve seen her face when she opened the little scrap of paper with my ‘recall code.’”

“Well, Blue hasn’t been around that long. She doesn’t know synths like I do. The second one... Too ridiculous.”

“C’mon! You don’t think I’m an animal lover?”

“Too impractical, unless you had a huge piece of farmland that you didn’t care about. And the third...the third... It sounds improbable, but the way you said it—it was personal. That there’s more to it than you’re willing to say.”

Deacon looked straight at me, saying nothing. 

“Well? Was I right?”

He flashed a Cheshire grin. “You should have gone with the second.”

I smirked. “C’mon. Don’t be a sore loser, Deac.”

“A good agent never tells. That’s why you can never be one. I give you a week before the Brotherhood of Bigots kicks us out.”

“Puleeze. Don’t you have any faith in me? Two weeks.”

“Wanna bet? We’ll do yours, two weeks. You take the over, I’ll take the under. Loser buys the winner a case of 10mm rounds.”

“You’re on.” Deacon and I shook on it. Then he got up to leave.

“Hey! Where are you going now?”

“To use the head. Figure it’s the cleanest bathroom in all the Commonwealth, so I better take advantage of it while I still can. Try not to get us kicked off the blimp while I’m gone, Gabs. My parachute’s at the cleaners.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was fun to write and recontextualize the in-game dialogue from Elder Maxson, Danse, and Deacon, especially Deacon’s verbal sparring. As much as I lurv Piper (and Blue loves her too much to be mean to her), there’s something special about having an outside party come in and joust with Piper.
> 
> I'm also indebted to Oxhorn’s video about Piper (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TCs1objTEkU) as well as his commenters’ feedback. It helped me think through a plausible reasoning for Piper writing her article about the Broken Mask incident. 
> 
> Re: the next chapter, I’m planning a brief time skip to bring the plot forward to the Glowing Sea mission. I’ll be honest and say that I personally didn’t connect very much with the Brotherhood faction quests (probably because I don’t agree with their views!) but I’ll leave the door open to revisiting them more in the future.


	28. Children of the Damned

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: This chapter features two original characters! The first is the guy who took Piper on her disastrous “Tunnel of Love” date (see Chapter 25), while the second is a cultist she met during her investigation into Bunker Hill’s Children of Atom (from her 2nd affinity dialogue). More about them at the end.

It happened again. The end of the world.

I saw her running in the woods.

I tried to catch her, to warn her.

But I was stuck in slow motion. I couldn’t move.

She ran ahead as the maelstrom approached.

Radioactive skies boiled a sickly green.

Lightning struck the ground.

Trees burned all around her, crumbling to ash.

But she kept running.

I couldn’t stop her.

Then the white flash.

I called out, but I had no voice. Then I had no air.

The air was on fire.

The shockwave consumed me.

...

I woke up choking and drenched in sweat.

I screamed at myself. That _fucking_ dream again.

I was home alone, so no one was around to hear me yelling at myself. Blue was away, prepping for her next excursion to the Glowing Sea.

It’s just a dream, I reminded myself for the umpteenth time. It’s not real. Only it was real, sort of.

But she’s fine. She hasn’t left yet. She was fine the last two times she searched the Glowing Sea with Glory. She’s always come back. Perhaps with a little extra glow about her, but nothing that a couple of infusions of RadAway couldn’t fix. And she’ll come back from this one.

The problem was she still couldn’t find Dr. Virgil. Searching for the Institute defector had turned into a frustrating exercise of needle-in-a-haystack, much like her search for Shaun.

The Glowing Sea was huge uncharted territory. A permanent radiation storm formed by the convergence of a mushroom cloud and an offshore Nor’easter that had an unfortunate chance meeting over 200 years ago. A once-bustling pre-War Boston community, transformed into an uninhabitable playground for the most vicious deathclaws, mutated predators, and ghouls in the Commonwealth, forever roaming its desolate wasteland. Literally Hell on Earth.

I really didn’t want her to go back any more than she needed to. It had taken over six months, from when we first got the lead from Kellogg’s blown-out brains, to gather resources and clear a safe path from Minutemen territory to the edge of the Glowing Sea.

My eyes wandered to a stack of back issues that I had yet to file away. Had it already been six months since Kellogg died? His death was barely a footnote buried in the back pages of _Publick Occurrences_. Ironically, the lede was buried by the spectacular arrival of the Prydwen floating into the Commonwealth. A fittingly obscure end to a murderous lowlife’s reign of terror.

As for my stint as the Brotherhood of Steel’s embedded reporter—well, it was fun while it lasted. It turned out that I won my bet with Deacon, lasting three weeks before Elder Maxson finally kicked me off his shiny death blimp. Luckily, I was on the ground distributing the latest issue with Nat when I got word that my services were no longer needed.

The Brotherhood enjoyed a brief bump in recruiting after I published an exclusive interview with Maxson, then covered their operations at Fort Strong. But later, Maxson grew tired of me calling his policies into question. First was an opinion piece challenging the Brotherhood’s xenophobic views—although not surprisingly, people’s sentiments were evenly split. Then came a piece asking if it was ethical for the Brotherhood to bring child squires into a theatre of war. The last straw was an exposé about the Brotherhood shaking down farmers for food in exchange for “protection.” People didn’t appreciate how the Brotherhood was imposing their will on the Commonwealth.

I still had plenty to write about. _Public Occurrences_ was now circulating across all corners of the Commonwealth, thanks to the Minutemen caravans flowing along new trade routes that Blue had established. Blue kept the presses running by forming new Minutemen alliances, building up new settlements, clearing out hostile encampments, and running missions for the Brotherhood of Steel as part of her Railroad cover. And on top of all that, she managed to squeeze in time to reclaim Fort Independence for the Minutemen, liberate the Boston Library, and solve the Case of Eddie Winters with Nick.

Speaking of Nick, the Railroad was true to their word. They monitored Nick for any errant behavior from his run-in with Kellogg’s brain. Nick hated it, of course. He didn’t get what all the fuss was about, but he acquiesced to their periodic check-ups out of respect for our alliance and the work that the Railroad was doing. So far, nothing was amiss, so that was good news. 

Printed news about the Railroad was conspicuously absent from the paper, as agreed. And it was just as well—most of the news coming from them was bad. For every new safe house established, three went dark. Blue, or the “Wanderer” rather, plugged away for them anyway, shuttling messages back and forth, carrying supplies to agents in the field, and securing new routes for synths escaping the Institute.

And Blue and me? Things weren’t so bad. Sure it’d be nice to see each other more often. But we shoehorned in date nights and death-defying excursions as much as we could. We were both busy working, but kept in regular contact thanks to the Railroad’s encrypted radios.

But I was anxious to see her now. Maybe the long-distance thing was getting old. The last time I saw her was three weeks ago, before her second excursion to the Glowing Sea.

Who even knew if Dr. Virgil was still out there? If only we had a lead to narrow down the search area. Who else knows the territory?

I suddenly had an idea of who to ask. But I had to be sure before I told her.

...

I walked to Diamond City’s Security Office, a place I was all too familiar with, no thanks to McDonough’s constant assault on free speech. I hoped I’d get lucky and see the person I came for, without getting hassled or locked up.

Nope. No such luck today, I thought, when I saw who was sitting at the prison’s front desk.

“Well, well, well. Look who the cat dragged in.” Of all the guards who could’ve been on desk duty today, it just _had_ to be him. Mister “Tunnel of Love” himself.

I crossed my arms. “Hello, Henry.”

“Henry? Since when have you been so formal with me, Piper?”

“Ever since you finally got a semi-respectable job, Hank.”

“Now, now. That’s no way to talk to a man of the law.”

“I dispute both of those assertions, but whatever floats your boat.” Ha! I couldn’t help myself.

“Oooh, burn. Come on, Piper. It’s been, what, eight years—and you’re still holding a grudge because of our little date night? That’s water under the bridge, no thanks to you.”

He stood up and sauntered in front of the desk, invading my personal space. He looked the same way he did since our schoolhouse days. Only more arrogant, which I didn’t believe was possible. Half a foot taller than me, with brown skin, a fresh crew cut, piercing hazel eyes, sculpted jaw, and muscled physique underneath his baseball chest protector and uniform. And absolutely nothing between his ears.

“Besides,” he yammered on, “I hear you’re playing for the other team now. Rumor has it you’re dating the General of the Minutemen. Good for you...she’s a real milf. I’d hit that, even if it violates my rule of not screwing anyone old enough to have given birth to my great great grandpa. Think you could introduce us? Maybe we could take turns.”

“Ugh, not a chance. Besides, what would your wife Tina think?”

“What do I care what that bitch thinks? Tina and I split up two months ago.”

“Oh, I had no idea. Uh, sorry to hear that.”

“Save your gatorclaw tears, Piper. Who needs to be tied down when I got my pick of the hottest chicks in the Commonwealth? I know plenty of tramps who’d duel in the Combat Zone for the chance to tap this ass. Too bad you blew your shot.”

“Riiight... Look, as compelling as it is to compare notes about our sex lives—I win, by the way—I came here to see someone.”

“Oooh, seeing someone, huh? You better hope that cougar of yours doesn’t find out.”

“Stop stirring up shit, Hank. Your fellow goons recently arrested an acolyte of the Children of the Atom.”

“If you mean that crazy cult guy who was illegally soliciting in the marketplace, yeah, he’s in lock-up. Why do you want to see him? Another story for your stupid paper?”

“It’s none of your business. Now, are you going to let me see him or not?”

Hank crossed his arms and circled around me like a mole rat circling a mound of brahmin manure. “Here’s the thing, Piper. You see, Mayor McDonough’s made it clear to us ‘goons’ that he no longer wants you snooping around in our business. Not after that nasty article you wrote about him a few months back. Of course, if you make it worth my while...”

“Sigh. What do you want, Hank?”

“How about deleting that article you wrote about me?”

“No way. The statute of limitations for the worst date ever may have run out, but I still treasure it as a valuable case study in humiliation.”

“You’re no fun. How ‘bout a date with the General?”

“In your dreams. You’re not her type, and she’d kill you easily.”

“Caps?”

“Sorry, I spent all my subscription money on printer’s ink and bubblegum.”

“Well dammit, Piper, you’re wasting my time then. I could just lock you up in your private suite with him now until your geriatric girlfriend bails you out.”

“Look, Hank, let’s just keep this simple. Three cartons of cigarettes, a bottle of moonshine, a bottle of Jack, and centerfolds from the last two issues of Grognak the Barbarian.”

“Aww, you remembered all of my favorite things. Think you can throw in some Jet too?”

“No way, Hank, I’m not your chems dealer. You should lay off that stuff, it’ll fuck you up.”

“Ok, ‘Mom,’ jeez. I don’t need another one of your ‘goody two shoes’ lectures, Piper.”

”I’m just looking out for you, asshole. But as a peace offering, I’ll put your name in the hat for my next ‘DC Citizen of the Week’ column.” Nat wrote that column now, but he didn’t need to know that.

“How...generous of you. You better get all that stuff to my place by this afternoon, or I’m telling McDonough myself what you’re up to.”

“Oooh, tattling to the principal! How valiant of you.”

“Whatever. Hurry up and get in there before I change my mind.”

...

Hank opened the security door leading into the cellblock and ushered me through. As I walked in, I saw the acolyte sitting inside the back corner cell. The “Piper Suite.”

He stood up and approached the bars when he saw me. He was gaunt, dressed in threadbare rags typical of the Children of the Atom acolytes, with dark matted hair and tan skin from the elements. But he looked content, at peace.

“Sister Piper! Thank Atom you’re here!”

His voice was light and airy, with no hint of cynicism or malice. Even though I didn’t agree with his beliefs, it was a relief to talk to someone more personable than Hank the chauvinist pig.

“Hello, Brother Gabriel. How have you been?” I tried to sound upbeat but felt uneasy as I greeted him. The last time I saw him, he was getting arrested by Bunker Hill security. Thanks to me.

“Wonderful. Despite my present circumstances, never have I felt more affirmed in my faith as I do now. You see, I recently returned from a pilgrimage to the Crater. And by the grace of Atom, I basked in its Glow.”

“The Crater? In the Glowing Sea? You’ve seen it?”

“Yes, the spiritual heart of our Church, where Atom first created the Great Division, as you know.”

This was big. I had always heard rumors about the Crater, and how Atom’s most devout acolytes never left its Glow. Brother Gabriel was the first acolyte I met to have returned from there.

“How did you end up here? I thought the Children of Atom never left the Crater.”

“I admit, it was difficult to leave. Communing with the Glow was a deeply moving experience—it has truly changed my life. But I believe my purpose is to spread Atom’s message to everyone, starting with the people of Diamond City. That’s when the...unenlightened guards arrested me. Something about proselytizing without a permit.”

“Well, I’m glad you’re ok, although I’m sorry you’re back in jail,” I said. “I wasn’t sure how you’d been since Bunker Hill. The group sort of...scattered after everyone got busted.”

“Thank you for your concern. Yes, it’s true, the coven hasn’t been the same. Some of our disciples lost their faith and renounced Atom. Others joined different covens here or up north after their release.”  
  
Brother Gabriel shifted his feet. “Sister Piper, I’d like to apologize on behalf of the coven for the way you were treated. Threatening you with execution was no way to welcome a new acolyte. And please know that I hold no ill will towards you for reporting us to the authorities.”

“Really? That’s very...gracious of you. I thought you hated me for turning you in.”

“Why would I? My imprisonment was a blessing. It allowed me the time to reflect on what Atom truly wants for me. Sister, you must understand that at the time, our coven only wished to share the blessings of Atom with everybody.”

“You mean by poisoning Bunker Hill’s water supply?”

“Call it what you will. But I know now that our actions were misguided. It was wrong of us to presume to know Atom’s will. To act in Atom’s stead, when only Atom knows the hour of His return.”

Brother Gabriel reached through the bars and grabbed my hand. There was a fervent look in his eyes.

“Sister Piper, I must tell you—A great reckoning is upon us. Mother Isolde has foreseen this. Atom is coming! Atom will return!”

“What do you mean? How does she know?”

“Mother has seen a sign. From a...visitor. Not one of us. A super mutant, who usurped Atom’s will by bestowing the Gift upon himself through unnatural means.”

“You mean with FEV.” The Institute’s Forced Evolutionary Virus, responsible for creating the world’s population of super mutants and mutant hounds.

“Yes, Sister. This super mutant, he wasn’t like others of his kind. He...spoke with eloquence. And he traded technology. Fixed things that were broken. And he left behind this sign.”

Brother Gabriel pulled a scrap of cloth from his pocket. It was badly torn down the middle, and heavily stained from exposure to the irradiated environment. Embroidered on it was a blue circle with a stylized form of Leonardo’s famous Vitruvian Man. The symbol of the Institute.

“Mother Isolde believes that he is a harbinger of the coming of Atom. The others, they fear him for that reason, but not Mother. She welcomes him. It means that the great prophecy will soon come to pass!”

I grabbed Brother Gabriel’s other hand. “Brother, I must speak to Mother, now. Please, tell me how to reach the Crater.”

“I will tell you, Sister, but you must be prepared for the Pilgrimage. The journey is long, and not without danger. Among us, you alone have seen Atom. And you are brave and determined. I have no doubt that Atom will bless you with the gift to bask in His Glow.”

“But heed this,” he continued. “If you are to enter the Crater, you must be ready in both heart and mind. You must be pure of heart, and your mind must be fully dedicated to the truth.”

Hmm... Surely one out of two was close enough.

“For once you enter the Crater, there is no turning back. The Glow purifies all. Then you will become a true disciple of the Children of Atom.”

“Thank you, Brother Gabriel. Be well.” I hugged him through the cell bars. “If you want, I can spring you out of here. They used to name this cell after me, you know.”

Brother Gabriel raised his hand, refusing. “Thank you for your kind offer, Sister, but I will wait here. By Atom’s will, I will be free.”

...

I hitched a ride south with a caravan. Travel along the Minutemen’s trade routes was marginally safer these days, although the usual dangers still kept everyone on their toes.

It took two days to reach the bay. The majestic granite fort jutted tall and proud in the middle of Castle Island. Atop a flagpole on one bastion, a tattered blue Minutemen flag flapped triumphantly in the breeze. Rough-hewn concrete blocks filled in the formerly gaping breaches of the southeast wall.  
  
A Minuteman guard saluted me as I passed through the open gates which were framed by a grand archway. There was a bustle of activity inside the fort’s walls. A team of settlers tended to garden plots filled with vegetables and fruit trees. Traders were stationed at various booths around the courtyard. Armed Minutemen patrolled the grounds and manned the large artillery guns mounted on all corners of the Castle’s walls. In the middle of the courtyard was the giant radio tower for Radio Freedom, the Minutemen’s radio station broadcasting 24/7.

I crossed the courtyard and ducked into another archway. The cool granite hallway wound around the perimeter, past the medical station, workbenches, and beds, until it ended at a grand old General’s office.

I waited by the doorway. The General’s back was turned towards me, hands on her hips as she studied a topographical map of the Glowing Sea. She sported a rank-and-file militia hat with four stars buttoned along the band, the only indication of her rank. Emblazoned on her back were three gold stripes jumping out from a sea of deep blue.  
  
I cleared my throat. “Hey, doll.”

The General turned around and smiled. “Hey, babe. Welcome back.”

We greeted each other with a kiss, then made small talk about my journey to the Castle before examining the map on her desk.

“Piper, I can’t make heads or tails of this. The last two trips, we combed these sections, but the areas we’ve been able to cover are so small. At this rate, it’s going to take months to track Dr. Virgil.”

“That’s why I came. I have a lead on where we can find him.”

“You do? That’s fantastic!”

“There’s one more thing... I’m coming with you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we’re off to the Glowing Sea! (almost...) I had considered not writing about this quest, then I thought of a plausible ~~excuse~~ reason for Piper to accompany Blue. It wasn’t ever clear to me in-game how the PC is able to track down Dr. Virgil (how does the Pip Boy know where to go?). So it was fun to have Piper do some sleuthing and make connections to her previous investigation into the Children of Atom.
> 
> I also didn’t plan to have Piper’s “Tunnel of Love” date make a cameo appearance. Then the jailhouse scene came along, and the opportunity to include him was too good to pass up. His personality is inspired by Glee and all the high school rom-coms with mean high school ex-boyfriends. Someone had to be the heel and pile on the dirty milf jokes xD.


	29. The Dead Sea

“Piper, we’ve talked about this. It’s not worth the risk...”

“I know, but you’re going to need me. Trust me.”

Blue looked at me skeptically, but I didn’t waver. Finally, she nodded, crossing her arms.

“Alright. Tell me about this lead.”

“I knew that the Children of Atom operated in the Glowing Sea, but I had no idea where. Then an old friend from Bunker Hill popped back on my radar. Diamond City Security locked him up for preaching without a permit. Another one of McDonough’s pay-to-play schemes.”

“Anyway,” I continued, “The Children of Atom worship the Crater as a holy site. That’s ground zero for where the atom bomb landed 200 years ago. Brother Gabriel—my contact—he just returned from there. He said that the leader of their Church, Mother Isolde, had been in contact with a super mutant.”

“Okay—but we’re looking for a scientist, not a super mutant.”

“Yes, I’m getting to that. This isn’t just any super mutant. Brother Gabriel said he traded his technology and repair skills with them. And he had this.” I showed Blue the stained scrap of cloth with the Institute logo.

“The Institute. You think this super mutant has something to do with Dr. Virgil?”

“Yeah. The connection is undeniable.”

“Where?”

I smoothed out the map on the desk and looked up the coordinates in my notepad. “Brother Gabriel said the Crater was here.” I pointed to a spot on the furthest corner of the map.

“Oh wow. That’s...far. No wonder we haven’t been able to find it. It would easily take us a week on foot to get there. Did Brother Gabriel say anything about the super mutant living there?”

“No. From the sound of it, the other acolytes are actually afraid of him. But he’s probably nearby. Or we could wait for him to come back and trade with them.”

“That’s not a bad idea. But why do you need to come?”

I didn’t want to get into all of my reasons. “Well, the Children are notorious for being suspicious of outsiders. I can help you talk to them, being that I’m an acolyte and all.”

“Yeah, but you’re non-practicing.”

I waved away her quibble. “Pssht. Semantics.”

“Okay. But just because you’re a card-carrying member of the Children of Atom doesn’t mean you’re actually immune to radiation.”

“I know, but I figured I could borrow one of your Power Armor suits. You do have a spare, right?”

“Hmm. I suppose you could take the one that the Brotherhood gave me for free. Granted, I had to become a Knight, pledge my undying loyalty, and vow to become a ruthless genocidal super soldier.”

Blue shrugged. “But whatever. Free is free.”

“Oh, is that all? What about you, then?”

“Don’t worry, I built another one. Hard to believe that people just leave suit parts laying out in the open. But the Power Armor isn’t enough. Having a hazmat suit underneath doubles the protection. But even with all that and a daily regimen of Rad-X, radiation is still going to leak in. The longer we’re out there, the more irradiated we’re gonna get.”

Blue returned to the map. “I’ll need some time to plan out this trip. Figure out the most direct route with pit stops, so that we don’t melt or turn into ghouls.”

“Well, if there’s anyone I wouldn’t mind being ghouls with, it’s you, Blue.”

“Aww, how romantic. But seriously Piper. Are you sure about this?”

“Yeah. You need me. And I need to go.”

...

If there was a contest for places to crown with the title of ‘Hell on Earth,’ the Glowing Sea would win. Hands down.

From the Castle, it took three days to reach the edge of the Glowing Sea. Thankfully, the first part of our journey was relatively easy. We simply hopped between various settlements, trade partners, and Railroad safe houses that Blue had painstakingly established alliances with during the preceding months, while battling the usual nuisances along the way.

Then we hiked the final stretch west to the remains of a collapsed freeway overpass which marked the northeastern edge of the Glowing Sea. Two rusted old Corvegas, one blue and one red, rested perpendicular to the road that crossed under the freeway, serving as silent sentries.

“Okay, this is it, Piper,” Blue said. “Point of no return. Helmets on.”

Blue put on her Power Armor helmet, fastening it to her suit and double-checking the seals. I followed her lead. Helmets weren’t usually my thing—I preferred having an unobstructed field of vision. But we were two astronauts venturing to another world.

As soon as we crossed the freeway, the road melted underfoot. The ground beneath us crunched with black irradiated soot, as if we had just stepped onto an uninhabitable planet. The skies darkened, then gradually turned sickly green, a deeper green than any rad storm I’d ever seen. Everything ahead of us was dead, a barren moonscape interrupted by splinters of petrified tree trunks that didn’t have the sense to crumble to ash when the bomb hit.

_Trees burning—they crumble to ash._

My Geiger counter jumped up to 10 rads per second and stayed there, crackling and popping its static warning signal. It unnerved me—I fought the instinct to hold my breath and run back to safety. It was jarring how a mere 100 yards away, the weather was perfectly normal with ‘safe’ radiation levels—relatively speaking. Radiation hot spots were strange that way.

I lowered the volume of my Geiger counter and tried my best to ignore it. Because we weren’t leaving anytime soon.

“How you holding up, Piper?” Blue’s reassuring voice radioed in my ear.

“Oh, you know,” I replied nervously. “This place would make my hair stand on end if it wasn’t actively causing it to fall out.”

“No kidding. At least you got your helmet on.”

“Yeah, so I can save it all for later. I can’t believe you’ve been out here twice.”

“Not by choice. The first time with Glory was the worst. Nothing prepared me for it. Sure, everywhere is a mass graveyard, but this... I thought I had come to terms with the War until I came out here. I can’t even recognize this place.”

Nothing prepared me for this either. There was only death and destruction everywhere I looked.

“Why do you suppose this area got hit so hard?” I asked.

“I don’t know. Maybe there were military targets hidden here. Sigh. This used to be a suburb. So many families. Kids.”

Blue’s comments struck me as we passed the remains of a playground, twisted and charred. A few eroded skeletons stuck out from the radioactive soot.

As we ventured deeper, the rad storm grew fiercer. We pushed through strong headwinds, our Power Armor taxing their fusion cores from the added strain. In the distance, I spotted packs of frighteningly large glowing deathclaws and radscorpions roaming the wastes, battling each other for dominance. Blue and I snuck by them, giving the radioactive predators a wide berth.

The murky green clouds grew darker and swirled its eternal cyclone above us. All around, lightning crackled and shot relentless thunderclaps of gamma rays.

_Radioactive skies boiled a sickly green. Lightning struck the ground._

You’re okay, I kept telling myself. You’re with Blue. You’re not going to let anything happen to her, and she’s not going to let anything happen to you.

Blue planned our first rest stop at a half-buried Red Rocket Garage. Its sturdy concrete and steel framework miraculously shielded the interior from much of the radiation, allowing us a brief respite to eat and sleep, refresh our fusion cores, and take our next dose of Rad-X.

We continued on the next day, pausing occasionally to check Blue’s Pip Boy map to make sure we were still on track to the Crater. Stumbling through the mists, we discovered an old factory building. Inside, we took another break for our maintenance routine. That was, until we heard the hiss of a huge horde of ravenous ghouls. No doubt they were the surviving factory workers from two centuries ago, angry that a pair of smoothskins had disturbed their sanctuary.

We escaped into the wasteland. We had no choice but to press on day and night, night and day through the interminable storm.

...

By some miracle, we made it.

Sleep-deprived, hungry, and with an alarmingly high rad count, we crested a steep ridge and reached the top of a huge crater. Within the Crater’s bowl, a piercing green Glow radiated everywhere from an unknown source, illuminating the rocky surfaces. Deathly silence enveloped us as we stood on the Crater’s edge.

“Blue, I think this is it! The Crater.”

We paused and took in the eerily wondrous site. Blue bowed her head slightly in a moment of silence. I wondered what was going through Blue’s mind, seeing _the_ Ground Zero where Boston changed forever.

_The end of the world._

Then we descended into the Crater, drawn to a makeshift steel structure that was perched in the center. We wandered inside briefly. There was nothing of note except for a few storage shelves and makeshift beds. I checked my Geiger counter—it screeched away per usual. If anything, the rad count here was higher than anywhere else we had wandered.

As we exited the structure, we looked along the sides of the Crater. Simple wooden houses were built into the steep cliffside of the Crater wall. This was where the majority of Atom’s followers lived.

Suddenly, a matronly voice called to us from above.

“Stop right there, stranger. You approach Atom’s holy ground. Why? State your purpose, or be divided in his sight.”

A gaunt woman in dark rags called to us. She stood on the pathway to the houses, glaring sternly with bloodshot eyes. Aside from her fanatical gaze, she looked like a perfectly normal human, unaffected by the radiation.

Several other followers of Atom, dressed in similar rags, gathered to see what the commotion was about. My mind couldn’t reconcile the cognitive dissonance of seeing these humans, with no protection whatsoever, walking around unbothered by the Crater’s radiation levels. Levels that my Geiger counter said would kill me in less than two minutes if I dared to take off my Power Armor.

Keeping our weapons holstered, we approached the woman slowly. Blue raised her hands as a sign of her peaceful intent.

“I’m here because I need your help,” Blue called out, maintaining a respectful distance.

The woman cast an accusing finger at her. “Do you seek Division? Have you come to merge with Atom, to be split in his infinite glory? Or do you seek to tear down his followers?”

“I mean you no harm, I swear,” Blue insisted.

“If that is true, then you may stay,” the woman replied, distrustful. “But know that we are watching. Violence will not be tolerated. If your heart is false, Atom will see, and you will suffer his wrath.” The tone of the woman’s voice threatened Atom’s imminent judgment.

“Allow me, Blue.” I stepped up the path. “Ahem... Mother Isolde, I presume? Blue’s with me. I’m Sister Piper, an acolyte from Bunker Hill.” I gave a customary hand gesture that signified a follower of Atom.

“Ah, Sister Piper. Atom’s blessings be with you.”

“And also with you, Mother.”

“It’s always a joy to welcome our followers to the Crater,” Mother Isolde proclaimed with outstretched arms. “Few make the effort to travel so far... Atom reached out and touched this world, bringing his Glow to us. It remains to this day, a reminder of his promise. Infinite worlds through Division.”

“Yes! We humbly seek your blessing at the end of our long pilgrimage.”

“And it is granted.” Blue and I approached Mother Isolde. Strangely, my Geiger counter readings dipped slightly near her presence. She laid her hands on our helmets, and I felt lighter and less tired, as if the weight of the radiation-laden air was lifted slightly. We nodded to her in gratitude.

“Sister Piper, I’m curious as to why you choose to wear armor in our most sacred place,” Mother Isolde asked. “As you must know, Atom graces all true believers with the gift to bask in His Glow.”

“Um, well, I would,” I stammered. “But my girlfriend’s new here, and she wanted to learn more about us before deciding to take the suit off. And I didn’t want her to feel uncomfortable with me just...walkin’ around with nothing on, so I suited up too.”

_Piper, you are a terrible, terrible liar._ My gut hated me.

Mother Isolde eyed me suspiciously. “Hmm, very well. Brother Gabriel was here not too long ago. He spoke very highly of you. He related the story of how you came upon his coven at Bunker Hill. And how just as they were about to execute you, a miraculous vision of Atom appeared before you.”

She gazed off into the distance. “Remarkable... Atom works in mysterious ways, doesn’t He?”

“Yep... He sure does,” I said.

“Brother Gabriel also said you were the reason the entire coven was imprisoned by the authorities.”

“Oh, uh, yeah,” I admitted. “That was my doing. But Mother, the coven was going to poison the water supply. I couldn’t allow them to deny people the, uh, glory of experiencing the Great Division.”

_Stop lying,_ my gut snapped. _Stop it!_

“Ah yes,” Mother Isolde nodded. “That was Brother Henri’s idea—he led the Bunker Hill coven. Despite my counsel of patience, he was always...spirited, in sharing our beliefs by more direct means. Once he finished serving his sentence, he returned here and I gave him a more fitting assignment for his talents. He now guards the Pyramid, one of our most sacred pilgrimage sites.” Mother Isolde turned to Blue. “You might meet him soon enough...depending on your choices.”

“Mother Isolde, how have you survived in all this radiation?” Blue asked.

“That is Atom’s unique gift to us, the true believers. He has brought us here to this place, a place that cannot harm us, so that we may worship him. So that we may spread his word to others. That is our calling. To deliver Atom’s message to a world that does not wish to hear it. To show Atom’s power to all.”

She gestured towards the other acolytes of Atom, who had returned to milling about their compound. “True believers forsake worldly possessions and put their full faith in Atom to provide. They don’t need a manmade virus or suits of armor to bask in His Glow.”

Then she looked straight at me. “But you are not a true believer. Are you, Sister Piper?”

Uh oh. Busted. I sighed as I prepared to come clean.

“No, Mother Isolde. No, I’m not. I’m sorry.” My gut felt relieved to make that confession. But I worried about how Mother Isolde would respond.

Mother Isolde’s eyes softened, and she gave a slight smile. “Thank you for speaking the truth, Sister Piper. But everyone has a role to play, even non-believers. This is no place that the forsaken or untouched merely ‘pass through.’ You are here for a purpose, though you may not know it.”

She paused for effect. “And now that you are both here, your role is clear. You came for the harbinger, Virgil. But before I tell you more, I must ask—what do you want with him?”

“I need his help reaching the Institute.” Blue took out the embroidered scrap of cloth and showed it to Mother Isolde. “Piper got this from Brother Gabriel. This is their mark.”

Mother Isolde studied the cloth with the Institute’s logo before handing it back to Blue. “Yes, this belonged to Virgil. I have heard of this Institute. They hide themselves, trying to avoid the power of Atom. A futile effort... In truth, this Virgil has caused some concern. Some believe his presence is an affront to Atom. But I believe otherwise.”

“Though he came to trade with us on a few occasions, we have had little other contact with him. It was quite clear he wanted to be left alone.” She pointed towards a break in the rim of the Crater. “You can find him southwest of the crater, living in a cave. I would approach cautiously, were I you. I feel he does not want visitors.”

“Why do you even care?” Blue asked, sincere in her curiosity. “He’s not one of your people.”

“True, he is not a Child of Atom,” Mother Isolde acknowledged. “But he has sought refuge in Atom’s Glow, and Atom granted it. I would not question the will of Atom.”

She placed her hands on our helmets again, and I felt the lightness again. “May Atom guide you to the Great Division, travelers.”

I thanked Mother Isolde, who nodded in return. “Sister Piper, take heed. Remembrance of things past is not necessarily the remembrance of things as they were.”

As we turned to leave, Blue said, “Thank you for keeping watch over this place, Mother.”

Mother Isolde regarded us, solemn and dignified. “For the dead and the living, we must bear witness.”

...

We found the cave about a mile away from the Crater. We climbed up one final ridge, then slid down a steep embankment until it leveled out near the entrance to a rocky cave.

It was infinitely cooler inside the cave. Halfway into the tunnel, I checked my suit’s Geiger counter. The radiation level had dropped significantly, no worse than a bright sunny day in Diamond City. Remembering Mother Isolde’s warning about Dr. Virgil, Blue and I removed our helmets. Maybe if he saw our faces, he would feel less threatened.

We crept onward deeper into the tunnel. The tunnel was lit with utility lights and a rotating spotlight that Blue and I avoided. The remains of a machine gun turret laid smoldering on a high rocky outcropping. A curtain of tin cans, a rudimentary alarm system, blocked the rest of the way.

Blue gingerly took down one string of tin cans so that we could pass through quietly. Inside was a makeshift lab, surrounded by supply shelves and a mattress against the far wall.

A giant super mutant in a blue scarf and glasses paced anxiously near his desk, hyperventilating. On his desk, a terminal flashed a continuous string of error messages.

“Doctor Virgil...?”

The super mutant spun around. So it _was_ him.

“Hold it! Don’t come any closer!” There was a deep fear in his eyes.

We froze in place. “Doctor Virgil...” Blue repeated, her hands raised.

“I know you’re from the Institute!” Virgil shouted. “So where’s Kellogg? Huh? Trying to sneak up on me while you distract me? It’s not going to work! I’m not stupid, I knew they’d send him after me!”  
  
“Take it easy. Kellogg’s dead.”  
  
“Dead? He’s dead? Don’t you lie to me!” Virgil backed away. There was a sharp edge to his voice.

“I’m not lying!” Blue exclaimed. “I killed him myself!”

Virgil kept backing away. His eyes darted nervously between us and the exit. “You killed him, so now you’re taking his place?! I knew the Institute would send someone after me! If not Kellogg, it must be you!”  
  
“I’m not from the Institute!” Blue insisted. “I’m not here to kill you! I swear!”

“Something’s wrong, Blue,” I warned. Something was off.

Virgil circled behind a large autopsy slab to block us from approaching. “I’m not going back... I can’t go back. Look at me!”

“Please, Doctor Virgil, listen to me!” Blue yelled. “I’m not here to hurt you! I need your help!”

“No, I don’t believe you! You won’t take me back there! Get away from me!”  
  
Virgil barged past us, tearing through his strings of tin cans, and ran straight out of the cave. We chased after him. Then near the exit, we stopped dead in our tracks.

In the distance, Virgil stood in the middle of a clearing. Behind Virgil was a glowing deathclaw. It must have wandered into the area after we entered.  
  
Acid rain pelted the barren landscape, and lightning arced across the glowing green sky. Virgil was undaunted. He waved a fist in the air and shouted angrily at us.

“You lured this abomination here to destroy me!” Virgil raged, pointing at the glowing monster. “Fools! I will have the last laugh! I will destroy this monster, then I will destroy you both!”

He roared at the glowing deathclaw and ran up to it, pounding it with his enormous green fists. The glowing deathclaw absorbed his blows, then swiped Virgil’s chest with its razor-sharp claws. It tore through Virgil’s torso like paper.

Virgil screamed as his blood spewed from him like a fountain. Then the deathclaw swiped his head with its other claw, cleaving it straight off. Before Virgil’s decapitated corpse fell to the ground, the deathclaw grabbed his arms and ripped them off, then flung them across the landscape.  
  
One mangled, muscular green arm sailed towards us and landed at our feet, still twitching. We stared at the arm, then at each other.

Oh shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter, I wanted to play with the idea of the Crater being a site of conscience and remembrance, similar to sites like Hiroshima and Nagasaki, the 9/11 memorial, and Holocaust camps. Before Blue and Piper leave the Crater, Mother Isolde quotes Marcel Proust to Piper and Elie Wiesel to Blue. 
> 
> Mother Isolde’s comment about the Pyramid refers in-game to the Sentinel site, the location in the Glowing Sea where the nukes that the Brotherhood needs to arm Liberty Prime are stored. The nukes are guarded by the Children of Atom cultist that Isolde mentions. 
> 
> Finally, my apologies to the Brian Virgil-stans out there for his untimely end. I have nothing against him, I swear! There’s a reason for him dying which I’ll explain in the next chapter. His is the only non-canon death planned if that’s any consolation.


	30. Waking Nightmare

“Get back! Get back!”

We hightailed back into Virgil’s cave. I tore through what was left of Virgil’s tin can alarms and crashed into one of the workbenches in the back. Blue was right behind me, colliding into the side of the cave wall. She gasped for air, shocked by what we just witnessed.

“Holy shit, did you see—Virgil—he, the deathclaw, it, it...” Blue stammered, shaking and struggling to process what happened.

“H-he’s dead, Blue! My God, he was just here! And then, then he just went crazy...” My thoughts turned to the deathclaw. “Shit, do you think that thing saw us? What if it comes in here?”

Blue’s face was ash white. “I, I don’t know. Fuck, I hope not.” 

Still panic-stricken, I clung to the workbench, unable to move. “C-can you check?”

Blue gave me a dirty look, then closed her eyes. “F-fine. I’ll go look.” 

She took some deep breaths to calm herself down, then went back towards the entrance. Blue crouched and crept slowly to the cave opening. She took out her gauss rifle and peered into the scope.

“Uh... It’s still there. Looks like it’s eating Dr. Virgil. Or what’s left of him.”

“I think I’m going to be sick.”

Blue slithered back into the cave. “I don’t think it saw us—it wasn’t looking towards the cave. Unfortunately, it doesn’t look like it wants to move. It’s too busy enjoying its meal.”

“Blue, is that...his arm?”

Blue hastily hid Virgil’s severed arm behind her back. “Uh, yeah. I picked it up, in case the deathclaw decides to track it down for dessert. Hopefully it can’t sniff it from here.”

“Ugh, gross. Now what?”

“Well, we’re safe for now, and we’re sheltered from the radiation in here. Maybe we can wait until it leaves. In the meantime, we should search his lab, gather what we can.”

We exited our Power Armor. Blue sat down at his terminal. 

“Damn, it needs a password. Of course,” Blue muttered. “I’ll try the backdoor...” 

With a few command keys, a green rainfall of coded gibberish filled the screen. Blue typed furiously on the keyboard, trying several passwords and security bypass commands. 

“You’re on your own there, Blue. I’ll look around.” 

I rummaged around Virgil’s lab as Blue hacked away. The lab was in shambles. One workbench had a sophisticated home-brew chemistry set-up, but the beaker stands and glass containers were smashed to pieces. A gruesome slab originally set up for autopsies and dissections now had Virgil’s leftover dinner, a giant cut of raw Brahmin meat. A green Army chest contained leftover ammo and weapons. A deactivated Protectron and a dismantled turret laid dormant in a dark corner of the cave.

“Huh, looks like Dr. Virgil took apart his security detail,” I mused. “Maybe he thought they were turning on him too… Whoa.” I suddenly felt dizzy, and leaned against the cave wall.

“You okay, Piper?”

“Yeah...just tired from the lack of sleep.”

“Tell me about it... Why don’t you get some rest?”

I stared at Virgil’s stained and torn mattress. I’ve slept on worse, but I didn’t feel like napping there right then.

“Eh, no, that’s okay, Blue. Besides, I don’t exactly feel safe with that thing lurking outside.” Instead, I sat on the Army chest, clutching my head while Blue worked.

After a few minutes, Blue unlocked the terminal, revealing Dr. Virgil’s personal logs.

“How do you do that?” I asked. “I can’t even get mine to save.” 

“AV Club,” Blue answered casually.

“A-V?”

“Audiovisual,” Blue clarified. “A club I joined in high school. I was sort of a nerd back in the day. Joined a bunch of clubs to help with my college applications...”

I gave her a blank stare. “Guess I missed out on high school,” I remarked. “I only had like five kids in my class who were my age, including Hank.” I shuddered. “By the way, I ran into him when I was looking for Brother Gabriel.”

“Oh, sorry. If that guy’s bothering you, I can beat him up for you,” Blue winked. 

“Ha ha, I don’t doubt it. I can handle him, but thanks for offering.”

Blue scrolled through the logs. “Ahem, looks like Dr. Virgil was a scientist for the Institute, in a division called Biosciences. He was working on FEV research when he sabotaged his own lab and all his research.”

“Why did he sabotage his own research?” I asked.

“Apparently he grew a conscience and felt guilty for infecting people with FEV. Then he fled, purposely infecting himself with a special strain of FEV to survive the radiation of the Glowing Sea.”

Blue dug deeper into Virgil’s logs. “Shit. No wonder Virgil went crazy. The strain he used preserved his intelligence—at first. But over time, his condition deteriorated. First his fine motor skills, then his mental state. He had created a serum to counteract FEV, but he left it behind when he fled the Institute. Looks like he tried to recreate it here, but he wasn’t able to.”

Blue pounded his desk. “Dammit. I waited too long.”

“It’s not your fault, Blue. It was impossible to travel here six months ago. You had to clear a path.”

“I know, but still. He was supposed to be our lead into the Institute, and now we’re at a dead end again.”

“Well, keep digging. Maybe we can find something we can use.”

Blue typed some more. “I may have hit the jackpot. There are some schematics here, for a makeshift teleporter. It’s...complicated, and big, really big. We’ll need some help to figure this thing out. There’s a note here, too, from Dr. Virgil: 

> To whoever finds this:
> 
> If you’re with the Institute, then I’m dead anyway and my work is yours to reclaim. But if you’re not... On this terminal are schematics for a device that provides a way into the Institute. The Institute has no entrance—it relies on the Molecular Relay to teleport its agents instantly to any destination in the Commonwealth. In short, this device hijacks the signal the Institute uses to teleport its Coursers.
> 
> Every day, I feel my mind fading from this cursed FEV. So I make no promises that this device will work. It may even kill whoever is foolish enough to use it—and if it doesn’t, the Institute will. My expertise was Biosciences, not Engineering, and I don’t know all the science behind the Molecular Relay. But I did the best I could to piece this together from memory and things I’ve overheard through the years. 
> 
> Please, if by some miracle you make it back from the Glowing Sea, take this information with you. Find a way to build it. Even if you have to recruit those wretched kooks from the Railroad. This is the only way in and out of the Institute. The only way.
> 
> I left behind friends and colleagues at the Institute. But I could no longer in good conscience continue the FEV project, nor allow anyone else to follow my work. Perhaps it’s fitting that I suffer here alone, a victim of my own creation. I know I can never go back. I am truly sorry for the pain I’ve caused to innocent people and their families. I only hope this information can be used someday to put a stop to the Institute.” 

Blue loaded a holotape into Virgil’s terminal and copied the data.

“Well, that’s that. Rest in pieces, Dr. Virgil. I’m sorry we couldn’t save you.”

I scavenged ammo, unspoiled food, and other supplies that we might need for the trek home. That is, if we could get past that glowing deathclaw.

“Blue, is that thing gone yet?” I prodded.

Blue reentered her Power Armor, then crept back to the cave entrance to look. “Groan. Nope. Still there... It’s just sitting there. I don’t know what it’s waiting for.”

“Shit. What do we do?”

“We could wait a little longer. Maybe in a few hours or a day or two, it’ll move on.”

“Or, maybe its whole family will decide to come over and have a dinner party,” I joked.

“What if we just stay here forever?” Blue cracked. “We could be ‘roommates,’ start a commune, get a few cats. Really live up the pioneer hermit lifestyle, you know?”

“Blue, as much as it’s my fantasy to retire to the wilderness and live as a crazy cat lady with you, I really don’t picture it happening here. Not with a one week supply of food and a glowing deathclaw threatening to barge in and eat us at any moment... What if we shoot our way out? Didn’t you kill a deathclaw before? That’s part of your legend as General of the Minutemen.”

“Yeah...about that. That deathclaw in Concord came out of nowhere after I cleared out those raiders. I was lucky to still have ammo in that minigun and about 1000 feet between me and that ugly thing. It scared the crap out of me. Since then, whenever I see a deathclaw, I run... Uh, nobody needs to know that, by the way.”

I scratched out her quote in my notepad. “Nope, strictly off the record. We don’t have a minigun, but we still have guns. We could fight it.” 

“There’s not enough distance. Once we start shooting, that thing will close in and kill us before we have a chance to reload.”

“Could we sneak past it?”

“Maybe, but that thing is glowing a lot. It might as well be a walking security spotlight. But if we could create a diversion...”

Blue walked to the metal trash heap in the corner of the cave. She picked up one end of the deactivated Protectron. “Come on, get in your Power Armor and help me prop this up. Grab that turret too.”

“Okay, Blue. Be careful that these things don’t turn on us.”

...

Beyond the cave entrance, the glowing deathclaw sat immobile in the middle of the clearing, grooming itself.

Suddenly, it sniffed the air. Something that smelled like food was approaching. 

“Halt! You are under arrest!”

The glowing deathclaw turned around. Behind it was a newly reprogrammed Protectron. And tied to the robot’s shooting arm was poor Virgil’s severed arm.

“Surrender!” The Protectron raised Virgil’s arm and fired. Its bullets pecked away at the deathclaw’s bony exoskeleton. 

The glowing deathclaw slashed at the robot’s head. The glass covering the Protectron’s head shattered, showering hot sparks onto the barren landscape. The Protectron tipped over and died. The deathclaw ripped off the robot’s arm and stripped it clean of its super mutant accessory, devouring the last of Dr. Virgil.

From the corner of its eye, the glowing deathclaw spotted two specks in Power Armor racing up a hill to the side of the cave. The deathclaw ran after them, closing the gap at a frightening speed. 

Just as it reached the base of the hill, a turret rigged to a tripwire spat bullets into its side. Momentarily blinded by machine gun fire, the deathclaw stumbled and swiped frantically at the bullets. The delay from the turret gave two hapless cowards just enough time to disappear over the ridge.

...

We made a beeline straight north, taking pains to steer clear of the Crater. We didn’t want to risk unintentionally luring the glowing predator into the Children’s settlement.

  
_It was happening again. The end of the world._

  
I followed hot behind Blue’s tail.   
I felt dizzy, but shook it off.  
I ran and ran, fueled by sheer terror.   
I pushed my Power Armor’s speed to the max. 

  
_I saw her running in the woods._

  
Blue started to pull away.   
I pushed harder, but my Power Armor protested.   
Power levels running low.

  
_I tried to catch her, to warn her._

  
Ominous storm clouds gathered above.   
Supercharged air prickled the back of my neck.  
“Blue, wait!”  
My shouts were lost in the wind.

  
_But I was stuck in slow motion. I couldn’t move._

  
Acid rain poured down, coating the landscape in radioactive mud.   
The mud sucked down my Power Armor boots.   
I slogged through it, draining the suit’s power.

  
_She ran ahead as the maelstrom approached._

  
The skies were the angriest I’d ever seen.  
Condensation fogged my HUD display.   
I lost sight of her as the rain intensified. 

  
_Radioactive skies boiled a sickly green._

  
The green cyclone swirled high above.   
My vision swam.  
“Blue, wait!” I couldn’t hear myself.   
I kept running straight, hoping she was still ahead.

  
_Lightning struck the ground._

  
A bolt of lightning slammed into the ground.  
Thunder roared in its wake.   
An explosion in the distance.

  
_Trees burned all around her, crumbling to ash._

  
A fire started where the lightning struck.   
Dead tree stumps were engulfed in flames.

  
_But she kept running. I couldn’t stop her._

  
“Piper, over here!”

A shout barely audible over the thunderstorm.   
Lightning stabbed the ground over and over.   
Acid rain pelted my armor, which hissed with corrosion. 

Up ahead was a yellow house.   
Radioactive waste barrels were carelessly dumped near its porch.  
They cast the house in a neon green glow.

I felt a tug as something pulled me up to the porch.

  
_Then the white flash._

  
There was a dead man on the porch, sprawled on the ground in agony.   
His skeleton hand gripped a handle on the floor, tugging at it in vain.  
Gunshots flashed hot white sparks on the metal hatch.   
The skeleton hand blasted apart, leaving scorch marks on the floor.

  
_I called out, but I had no voice._

  
The hatch opened into darkness.   
I was pulled in.  
I fell, landing in murky blackness.

  
_Then I had no air._

  
I stumbled down a dark passageway.   
Can’t breathe. Can’t breathe...

  
_The air was on fire._

  
I was doused in bright blinding lights.   
Still can’t breathe...

  
_The shockwave consumed me._

  
My Power Armor opened by itself.   
I fell backward.   
I fell forever, into the void.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
...

Someone caught me before I hit the ground.

“Piper!”

I couldn’t stop hyperventilating. Too hot...

“C-can’t breathe... Make it stop!”

My hazmat helmet came off. Lights shined too bright.

“Piper, it’s okay! You’re safe now!”

The room was spinning. Everything burning...

“Please, make it stop! It’s happening again!”

So hot... I was soaking under the hazmat suit.

“Piper, we’re inside, you’re okay. You’re okay.”

I opened my eyes but saw only blurry shapes through my tears. I blinked them away and saw Blue in a bright yellow hazmat suit.

“Please. Take a deep breath.”

She, she was here. Alive. And we were sheltered from the storm.

Blue supported me under my shoulder. She helped me bend over between my legs to catch my breath. I inhaled and exhaled raggedly, my breath caught between sobs. Blue kept encouraging me to breathe slowly. Eventually, my breath steadied.

When I finally took in my surroundings, I noticed that we were in a small office, located down the hall from the hatch leading to the surface. In the office was a reception desk, a bookshelf, and a chair with the dead receptionist sitting in it—a dusty skeleton with a name tag dressed in an low-ranking Army uniform.

“Here, why don’t you sit down, Piper... Uh, excuse me, Jeff.” Blue apologized as she unceremoniously dumped Jeff onto the floor. Then she helped me sit in Jeff’s chair. She sat on the desk and gave me some purified water to drink. I unzipped my hazmat suit halfway to cool off. 

After a few minutes, Blue asked, “What happened?”

“Um, I, uh...” I wasn’t sure how to explain. “I think I was...seeing things that weren’t really there.”

“Seeing things? Like what?”

“I kept seeing things...from a dream I’ve been having. Well, more like a recurring nightmare, about the end of the world.”

“Oh wow...” Blue looked concerned. “How long have you been having these nightmares?”

“I don’t know.” I reflected on her question, remembering back to my childhood. “The people I grew up with, they used to tell stories about what happened when the bombs fell. There are all sorts of crazy tales about how the Wright family survived the War. I’m sure most of them are made up, but those stories scared me. They gave me nightmares as a kid.”

“Eventually I outgrew them, but sometimes the dreams would come back when I was anxious about something. Then after I met you, and you told me about your experience with the bombing... I don’t know. Maybe hearing you tell it made it more real to me.”

Blue frowned, feeling guilty. “Damn. I’m sorry. I had no idea.”

“You couldn’t have known. I’ve been worried about you. We haven’t seen each other for a while. I kept thinking something bad was going to happen because you keep coming out here. But part of me had to see this place for myself. To see where it all began. I just had no idea how much it would affect me...”

“Seeing where the world ended?”

“Yeah.”

Blue mulled over what I said. “You ever heard of transgenerational trauma?”

“No. What is it?”

Blue closed her eyes, reflecting on the past. “Sometimes, I’d come across it with my defense clients. Children of refugees, descendants of marginalized communities. They inherited the trauma of their parents. The parents experienced a major trauma—war, imprisonment, oppression—then they pass that trauma to their children. Sometimes it spans multiple generations. Some people who’ve experienced this even thought that they inherited the memories of their parents. Whether they’re real or false memories, or recollections of something they overheard, it’s hard to say.”

“You think that’s what this is?” I asked.

Blue shrugged. “Maybe, maybe not. I mean, you’re dreaming about something that happened 200 years ago. It’s possible, but the phenomenon wasn’t studied enough before the bombs fell.”

I leaned back in Jeff’s chair, throwing my hands up. “Well shit. The whole Commonwealth probably has it then. Like when some idiot gets cute with a Fat Man, or an old fusion reactor suddenly blows up. People start screaming for days, or they lash out at their kids. No wonder why people are crazy.”

“My God. Like a collective trauma,” Blue observed sadly.

“Totally.” My head swayed from exhaustion. “So how do I get rid of it?”

Blue looked uncertain. “Uh, I’m not sure. The people I met who experienced this didn’t know how to process it either. That’s partly why they ended up in the prison system.”

“Oh no. That’s so sad.”

“It was—is—very hard to break the cycle. Hmm, you could try keeping a journal, see what triggers it. Have you been getting any sleep at all?”

“Not really.”

Blue grimaced. “I’m sorry. We pushed too hard on this trip.”

“Yeah, that too, but even before that... I’d get some shuteye here and there, then the nightmare would come back. So I’d stay up writing because I couldn’t go back to sleep.”

“Huh.” Blue mulled over this some more. “If you ask me, you’re burnt out, Piper. I mean, we’ve both been busy, but you’ve been hammering on these stories too much.”

“Well somebody’s gotta do it,” I said. “There’s too much at stake.”

“But you’ve got to take care of yourself too,” Blue insisted. “You’re the most compassionate person I’ve ever known. You care so much about other people and their hardships, and you take them to heart.”

“You do too, Blue.”

Blue shook her head. “No, not like you. Not even close. I’ve made compromises—mistakes that I wish I could take back. You’ve always stuck to your principles. People read what you write in the paper because it’s like you’re their conscience.” 

“For all the good that does,” I complained. “Nobody acts on anything I write.”

“They’re starting to. Look what’s going on with the Minutemen. And even if they not acting right away, it doesn’t mean they’re not thinking about it. You never know when you plant seeds with someone.”

Blue stood up. “Look, I’ve been there. You think you’re the only one who can do this work. And you feel like you’re on an island, with no one to back you up. You wear yourself out over time... ‘til one day, you just hit your breaking point. Then you’re no good to anybody, especially yourself.”

She put a hand on my shoulder. “You need to take a break, Piper. The world can wait.”

I chuckled. “That’s hard for me right now, Blue. I keep getting good stories because of you.”

“Then have Nat write a few. I dunno. Something. We—I need you. Please, for your sake.”

I paused to consider her words, letting them sink in. _I need you._ I wasn’t sure how to respond.

“Yeah, Nat’s writing’s getting pretty good,” I deflected. “I’m just tired, that’s all. Trudging through a radioactive wasteland for two days straight will do that.”

“Sigh, that wasn’t smart of me. No wonder why you’re seeing things. I’m sorry.”

“Not your fault. I insisted on going. And this is a no man’s land, after all.”

“No kidding. I hope we never have to come back to this hellhole ever again.”

“That’s assuming we can get out of here at all,” I joked.

Blue smirked. “Come on, we’ve been through worse...”

Suddenly we heard a noise.

“You were saying?” I asked, my anxiety rising again. It came from behind a massive steel door, just past the desk. We got up and drew our weapons. 

Blue opened the door, revealing a massive underground bunker. The bunker looked like a miniature Vault installation, extending at least three stories down with shiny bluish chrome surfaces.

“Whoa...” Blue’s reaction echoed throughout the vast bunker.

“How far down does this place go?” I wondered.

“Guess we’ll find out. Look.” Blue pointed towards the lowest level. Milling around the bunker were three Gen-1 Institute synths. They spotted us and began firing their laser rifles. 

We chased them down and destroyed them one by one. Once we cleared out all of the bunker’s rooms, we doubled back to a command room, where a giant world map blinked with flashing red LED lights in all the major cities.

Blue sat down and hacked the main terminal in the room. “Piper, you asked why this area was hit so hard? Here’s why.” 

I looked over her shoulder at the screen. “Federal Surveillance Center K1-2B? A secret military bunker in the middle of suburbia...”

“Yeah, those military bastards, hiding in plain sight. The crew was expected to keep working even after the bombs fell. But they all died anyway because they ran out of supplies. Budget cuts.”

“Pffft, typical. What information did they have?”

Blue typed some more. “I don’t know. The Brotherhood got here before those synths—they deleted everything.” Blue shrugged. “I guess we’ll never know.”

Blue checked her Pip Boy. “The radiation level down here is almost nothing, safer than upstairs. Let’s crash here for the night.” 

...

We carefully stripped off our hazmat suits to minimize contamination. Then we found some crew’s quarters that were relatively clean, where we ate and took some RadAway. I started feeling better as my rad count dropped, although I was still completely exhausted. Blue helped me into a cot to rest, then started prepping a cot nearby. 

“Stay with me?” I asked. Blue nodded, then climbed in and laid down next to me. I rested my head on her shoulder. It felt better having Blue with me.

“Do you still get your nightmares, Blue?” I asked, feeling sleepy.

Blue paused to reflect, thinking about her freezing dreams. “Not as much as before. But every once in awhile, they come back. I try to tell myself that it’s my mind hanging onto something it doesn’t need anymore. It doesn’t always work, but sometimes it helps.”

“Mmm, that’s great,” I mumbled, not knowing what I was saying anymore.

Blue kissed my forehead. “Listen, when we get out of here, how about we take some time off? Crack open some Amontillado wine to clear our heads? I think we both need it.”

I yawned, beginning to doze off. “That sounds nice... Don’t we...need to bring...secret plans to the Railroad first?”

Blue was dismissive. “Meh. The secret plans are still secret. Besides, once we give them the plans, I bet they’ll make us get some MacGuffin to make the whole thing work.”

“What’s a MacGuff-uh?” I was too drowsy to keep up with Blue’s old-timey slang.

“It doesn’t matter, we’re going to forget about it later.”

“Mmm, forget about it.” I fell fast asleep, dreaming of nothing for a change.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I may have oversold the reason why I killed poor Dr. Virgil. Yes, it made for a fun plot problem, as previous story quests have presented similar setbacks. But the real reason was... I was lazy and didn’t want to write about all these back and forth trips to the Glowing Sea!
> 
> PIper’s waking nightmare (no relation to the Skyrim quest of the same name) is character-driven, but there are real-life cases of hypnagogic hallucinations caused by extreme sleep deprivation. (Not sleeping for 48-72 hours or more can really cause some problems—get your sleep, y’all!) There are articles online about this and about transgenerational trauma. I was also inspired by the 1991 experimental film by Rea Tajiri _[History and Memory: For Akiko and Takashige](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_and_Memory:_For_Akiko_and_Takashige)_.  
> ...  
> One last thing, it’s likely that I’ll be changing my weekly posting schedule after Chapter 33 (in 3 weeks). I’m thinking to take 2 weeks off, then take a week off here and there due to IRL stuff. It’s not quite a bi-weekly schedule, but it’s too complicated to explain... I’ll post a schedule on my Tumblr later with more details.


	31. Into the Void

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> CN: NSFW

“That’s one hell of a MacGuffer, Blue.”

“MacGuffin.”

Blue and I stood shellshocked on the top floor of Greenetech Genetics, wounded, covered in blood, and barely holding it together. 

At our feet was the body of one dead Institute Courser. The Courser, realizing that we were after the chip in his head, had implemented a Stealth field and shot at us with his Institute-issued laser rifle. We chased him around the confined area, shooting blindly, lobbing pulse grenades, and taking way too many hits in return before finally taking him down. It almost put our fight with Kellogg to shame. Almost.

Around us, dead Gunners laid around the perimeter of the room. They had been defending the building from the Courser, making their last stand at the top floor. Then they became the Courser’s hostages, before ultimately dying in the crossfire of our gunfight. Collateral damage from our mistakes.

Behind us, a long trail of bodies stretched from the ruins of Cambridge up the many floors of the Greenetech Genetics building. Bodies of entrenched raiders and Gunners who had stood between us and the Courser. The total body count for this mission was high, even by my standards. 

We’d had better days, that’s for sure.

...

The day before, we surprised the Railroad by gifting them Virgil’s schematics for building the Signal Interceptor. Tinker Tom, the Railroad’s eccentric genius, was highly skeptical that the engineering plans, which looked as if they were hand-drawn with crayon, would even work. But once he analyzed them and found that the science was sound, Tom started filling the gaps in the late Dr. Virgil’s handiwork. 

Aside from the spare parts needed to build the thing, one crucial piece was missing. The relay code from a Courser chip. Which could only be found inside the head of a Courser. Preferably a dead one. 

While Tinker Tom refined Virgil’s plans, Desdemona tasked Blue and me with tracking said Courser, using Blue’s Pip Boy radio to search for interference. 

“Wait, I thought Blue and I weren’t supposed to be working together,” I mentioned to Desdemona.

“I’ll make an exception in this case,” Desdemona said. “You’ve proven yourself with the Brotherhood and by bringing this intel.”

“Better get to it, Gabs,” Deacon said.

“You know, I really hate that code name,” I complained.

...

My mind returned to the present as I heard the soft voice of a woman in a back room pleading for help.

“Excuse me... I know you’re not here for me, but I can’t get out. Not on my own.”

Blue looked through the window blinds at the young woman. Then as if on autopilot, Blue moved to a terminal linked to the door of the impromptu jail cell. She typed in a few commands and opened the door. 

“Thank you,” the woman said. Blue simply stared, still dazed from the recent battle. “Um, my Institute designation is K1-98. But I prefer Jenny.” 

She extended a hand, which Blue shook weakly. “So yes, I’m a synth, If you hadn’t already guessed. I knew they’d send a Courser. I just didn’t think he’d find me so fast. I think I would have lost him too. But then I was captured by these...mercenaries. And all this happened.”

Blue blinked but didn’t respond to Jenny’s exposition.

“Um, okay.” Jenny looked around awkwardly. “Thanks again for your help. I’m...going to look for supplies before heading out.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Blue waved her on, too detached to offer anything else. Jenny scavenged a few supplies in the office building before striking off on her own in the Commonwealth.

I wasn’t feeling so great either, but Blue had me worried. “Uh, you okay, Blue?”

Blue kept staring off into space. I gave Blue a stimpak shot plus some gumdrops for good measure. Blue rubbed the shot away, then opened the box of preserved gumdrops and chewed one slowly. 

Finally, she looked at me, shaking her head. “I hope we never have to do that again.”

I smiled. “You say that about every mission, Blue.”

Blue searched the dead Courser’s body for valuables. Then she took out a combat knife and took a deep breath, before stabbing it into the back of his neck. She grimaced as she dug the knife deep inside his skull. Her hand was covered in blood as she pulled out the Courser’s chip from his head.

Shaking away the gruesome sight, I briefly pondered why Jenny was here in the first place. And why the Gunners would bother kidnapping an escaped synth, who effectively became bait for a Courser that ended up being the death of them. 

I dropped the thought. It didn’t matter. We got what we came for.

...

Desdemona greeted us at Railroad HQ with a cigarette and a grin. 

“I have a report here. It reads more like a comic book. Apparently, one hell of a fight took place at Greentech Genetics.”

“You bet,” I said. “We got the MacGruder.”

“MacGuffin,” Blue corrected.

“Excuse me?” Desdemona asked, confused.

“Never mind,” Blue said. “We got it.” She held up the blood-covered Courser chip.

“You have one of their chips? Intact?” Desdemona called to the back. “Tom! We got a Courser chip!”

Tinker Tom flipped up his goggles. “Whoa! For real? Oh man, it’s been ages.”

“You’ve hit the jackpot with this.” Desdemona turned to Blue. “Decoding a Courser chip is a very delicate operation. A million things can go wrong—the least of which is losing the data.”

Blue handed the chip over to Tinker Tom. “All right, little Courser chip. Let’s have the circuit analyzer take a crack at you.” He plugged into a device next to a terminal on his desk. “We’re in. Chip accessed. Just poke the analog connectors a little.”

We gathered around Tinker Tom’s desk, watching nervously as he typed furiously away on his terminal. “What? Oh man. Don’t crash. Hold it together. Memory hiccup... Here it comes. Encryption algorithms. All right. We’re still running. Oh man. They’ve added more decimals to the last cipher. This is gonna be... C’mon baby, show me that pattern. Where is it?”

“Is he gonna lose it...?” Blue uttered anxiously.

“Shhh,” Desdemona shushed.

Tinker Tom kept working. “Wait...they’re using the same logarithmic function as the key generator. Oh man. We got lucky. I got you, Institute bastard. I got you. Solve for N. Come on, show me that sweet base number. And we got it! We got the code! Ha ha!” 

He banged the desk triumphantly, and we all breathed a sigh of relief. 

Desdemona slapped Tom on the back. “Good work, Tom.”

“Not sure our luck will hold up next time, Dez,” he cautioned. Tinker Tom loaded the code onto a holotape and handed it to Blue.

“Now the Interceptor can hijack their signal and send me instead,” Blue said. 

“We’ve spent dozens of years and too many good agents’ lives only to discover not a goddamned thing.” Desdemona shook her head, mourning those lost. “And now we have the answer thanks to you. That the Institute could build something so...” 

She trailed off, not finishing her thought. “But we’ve got work to do. This is our top priority now. I want Tinker Tom to help you in any way possible to get this device built.”

“Did you decipher the plans, Tom?” Blue asked.

“Yep. Molecular transmission via encrypted RF waves...” Tinker Tom pulled out the engineering plans he refined based on Virgil’s schematics. “Those Institute eggheads are crazy. And you can divert the signal using a heavily modified relay interception. Like a...pirate broadcast, you know? That’s intense.”

“I knew you could figure it out, Tom,” Blue complimented.

“But where to build it?” he asked. “It’s going to need some serious space. This baby’s big. It should fit over at Mercer Safehouse. PAM’s already given that place her full blessing.”

Blue shook her head. “No. We’ll build it in Sanctuary.”

...

“When was the last time you went home, Blue?” I asked. After three days of travel, Blue and I were finishing the final stretch of our homecoming to Sanctuary.

“Too long... maybe two or three months ago. Things have changed since the last time you saw it.”

“Whoa, no kidding,” I said as we stepped onto the bridge leading to Sanctuary. The bridge had finally been rebuilt since the many months that I last saw it. Instead of rotted timbers, fresh lumber patched the hole in the bridge, which now arced gracefully across the river. 

Then I looked up, awestruck. The rest of Sanctuary had been rebuilt too. The old wooden structures of the gates and surrounding walls had been significantly upgraded with a mix of concrete and steel. More powerful turrets lined the wall, patrolled by a crew of sentries. As we passed through the powered gate, traders’ stations flanked the street, each one specializing in different commodities. 

The single-family homes were fully occupied, each repurposed for various tasks as well as living quarters for the growing population. New buildings were being constructed in some of the empty lots. The community flophouse had also been upgraded, with new additions extending its footprint and height. It looked less drab than the last time I saw it, and remained a popular spot for the settlers to socialize.

Preston met us outside the community flophouse, saluting Blue before giving each of us a hug. As we walked together, I noticed quite a few settlers giving respectful salutes to both him and Blue. His tireless work to rebuild the Minutemen had garnered him tremendous respect across the Commonwealth.

“General, I still say you’re crazy for wanting to mess around with the Institute,” Preston said.

“Crazy or not, they have my son. Are our guests here?”

“Yes, General. They’re up ahead.” Preston escorted us further down the street.

We met up with Desdemona, who was smoking outside the workshop house. Through the windows, I glimpsed Tinker Tom roaming inside the workshop house with some kind of scanner. When Desdemona saw us, she approached Blue sternly.

“Wanderer, I still don’t agree with using your settlement as the build site,” Desdemona protested. “This place hasn’t been secured the way Mercer Safehouse has.”

“Dez, with all due respect, this is my son we’re talking about,” Blue retorted. “Sanctuary has the parts we need to build the Signal Interceptor. Having your runners cart a ton of supplies to Mercer Safehouse would only raise more suspicions.” 

“But at least we know who’s going in and out of the safe house,” Desdemona countered. “There are too many people around Sanctuary to maintain operational security.”

“We’ll restrict the build area to a select few,” Blue offered. “You, me, Piper, Preston, Tom and Sturges.”

Desdemona crossed her arms. “I still don’t like it. Someone’s going to tip off the Institute.”

“That might happen, but better that I take the fall than the Railroad. Look, the fact of the matter is you can’t build this yourself, Dez. We’ve got to combine our resources.”

Tinker Tom came out and interrupted their argument. “Dez, I finished sweeping the house. It’s certified bug-free.”

“Thank you Tom.” Desdemona dropped her cigarette and stamped it with her foot. “Let’s talk more inside, Wanderer.”

Blue and Desdemona went inside to discuss something top-secret. Sturges came over to review the schematics with Tinker Tom, making a list of the parts needed to start the build. 

In the meantime, I went to the flophouse to borrow their radio. I sent an encoded transmission to Nat—it was going to be a while before I came home.

...

Two weeks later, the build was finished.

It took five separate generators to power the damn thing. Thankfully it ran on a separate power grid, or else the build would have drained the entire settlement. An oversized control panel filled with an intimidating assortment of readout dials, switches, and buttons controlled the entire rig. A relay dish that looked equally suitable as a UFO tracker oscillated back and forth, prepared to track the next Courser’s relay activity.

The centerpiece, the molecular beam emitter, formed a towering tripod that towered over the reflector platform. The tripod was hastily welded together from recycled steel beams. A smattering of wires, circuitry, rubber tubing, and transformers was held together by thin bracing and duct tape along the beams. Deadly arcs of electricity danced and crackled between a crown of Tesla coils atop the tripod. The middle of the crown looked like a gigantic electromagnetic ring, capable of spinning at a high velocity to dematerialize Blue’s atoms and beam them into the Institute.

Tinker Tom and Sturges high-fived each other over a job well done, while Blue, Preston, Desdemona and I surveyed the build, amazed.

Sturges finished wiping his hands of grease, then handed a holotape to Blue. “By the way, I figured this was a golden opportunity to find out as much as we can about the Institute and what they’re up. This holotape’s all set with a program that will scan their network and download anything it finds.”

“Thanks, Sturges, I’ll be sure to use it,” Blue said.

Sturges put a hand on Blue’s arm. “Before you go, there’s something else you should know.” He whispered something in Blue’s ear. Blue remained expressionless, but glanced briefly at Preston, who gave a knowing nod.

“It’s okay. You’re one of us,” Blue replied, clapping Sturges on the back. 

“Thanks, General. It’s ready when you are.”

Blue’s eyes shot wide with terror. “You mean, like, right now?”

Sturges nodded. “No time like the present.” 

Blue looked around nervously as the rest of the team stared at her. “Um...shouldn’t we test it first?” Blue asked, scratching her head.

“I wish we could, but we’ve only got the one frequency code,” Sturges apologized. “There’s no way to test it without actually jacking into the Institute’s signal. And as soon as we do that, we’ve used our one and only chance. As soon as the Institute figures out what we did—and I gotta believe those brainiacs won't be caught napping twice —that code we’ve got is useless.”

“So this is our only shot. Great. What else is new?”

“Just say the word, General.”

Blue was silent for a moment. “I’ll go tomorrow. At dawn.”

...

Night had fallen across Sanctuary as we walked back silently from the build site to Blue’s house. Inside, lanterns placed on the kitchen counter and dining table added to the ambiance, creating dancing shadows with flickers of amber light.

I eased into the living room couch, then Blue plopped down next to me. She leaned back her head, exhaling to release her stress. Then she turned to me and smiled slightly. We held hands as we sat in the dimly-lit living room together, sharing a silent moment.

“Everything set for tomorrow?” I asked, breaking the silence.

“Yeah,” Blue nodded. “Got my loadout in case I need to fight my way through a gazillion synths. And Power Armor’s ready to go, even though Tom says it’s not going to protect me if something goes wrong. That the Signal Interceptor would likely scatter my 60 trillion atoms across a thirty mile radius...”

Blue abruptly stopped, rubbing her eyes. “Sorry, can we talk about something else? I’d rather not think about my possible impending death from that crazy contraption.”

Blue looked really scared. I swallowed my own worry, pausing to change the subject. 

“I see Codsworth’s been keeping up the place. This couch...” I gave the couch cushions a hearty pat, remembering the first time we kissed here. “You know, Blue, despite our first kiss not turning out perfect, I still think fondly of it.”

“Me too...strangely enough,” Blue laughed. She tilted her head. “I never told you what happened after we kissed, did I?” I shook my head no. “Okay... I ran off and hid in the cave under the Red Rocket Garage to cry...” She covered her face. “Oh God, that’s so clichéd by the way...”

“We all have our moments, Blue,” I reassured. “You don’t have to be embarrassed about it.”

“Well, I am anyway.” Blue continued her story. “I hid from the rad storm in the cave and cried and cried. I cried because I was confused about myself, and I was terrified that I’d just ruined something between us—you know—our friendship. But I also cried because I realized that it was over. That Nate was really gone, and he was never coming back. I mean, I knew that logically, and I’d been grieving, but it didn’t really sink in until that moment that he was gone. And I was—devastated.”

I recalled the night she ran off after we kissed, which happened after we saw Nate’s body in Vault 111. I tried to go after her, only to be stopped by Preston from running into the storm. I wished I could have helped her then.

“Oh Blue...” 

“Wait, there’s more... You see, I was crying so loud that I woke up a couple of mole rats. They burst out of the ground and attacked me, not caring that my husband was dead, my son was kidnapped, and I’d just kissed my best friend. So I shot them all, but not before those little bastards got a few scratches in. After I killed them, I just sat on the dirt and laughed, because the whole thing was so ridiculous. Even if I was still a total wreck, I had to get my act together somehow.”

“You’ve done that and more, I’d say.” I felt compelled to ask an obvious question. “Do you miss him?”

“Everyday,” Blue said, without hesitation. She gazed around the empty house, remembering, and flashed a melancholic smile. “There was so much love in this house. We did the best we could. ‘Everything we do no matter how hard, we do it for our family,’ he used to say. A lot of things happened between us, both good and bad...” Blue trailed off, wanting to keep the details private. “But no regrets. That’s the one saving grace. I just have to fulfill my promise.” 

“Shaun,” I broached.

“Shaun. Our son. My last connection to the past, to Nate, to what we had before. He’s a part of me. He’s the only family I have left. He’s so close now, I can feel it.”

Blue sighed. “I can’t believe how far we’ve come. How hard we fought to get here. But now that I’m here, about to cross over, I—I...” 

Her voice wavered. She looked at me, afraid. “I’m scared, Piper. I don’t want to die. I’m not strong like Nate was. I’m not strong enough to go there alone, not knowing if I’ll survive.”

Blue’s memory of Nate leaving for war flashed in my mind. In slow motion, he walked away, dressed in full army fatigues. A large duffle bag slung over one shoulder. Heavy boots marching on the pavement. And putting on a brave face, a dutiful military wife looked on, alone. Left behind. 

And then it hit me. What I was feeling now—fear, uncertainty, heartache—was how Blue felt all those years ago. To some degree, it was how I felt during the times we were separated. But this time, I was truly afraid of losing her. 

She struggled to collect herself. “I need to go. I have to take this chance for Shaun, even if I don’t survive. Yet the thought of leaving you behind—it kills me. If I didn’t have to go...”

“You have to go.” I barely got the words out. Dammit.

Blue looked at me. Then she burst into tears, heartbroken. “You know I love you, right?” 

“I know, Blue. I love you too. It’s okay. We believe in the same things.” 

She threw her arms around me and cried, clinging to the few moments we had left before they slipped away forever. I cried too, scared that we were giving up our life together for the sake of the truth. 

Time was against us. But this time, this moment—it was all we had left. 

We kissed each other, holding nothing back. I kissed her over and over, and she kissed me back fervently. Everything had come full circle, only this time she wasn’t running away. But she was leaving me, and there was nothing I could do.

A few minutes later, she pulled me up and guided me through the darkness to her room. We stumbled occasionally as we traversed through the kitchen and hallway, continuing to kiss and undress each other along the way until we made it into the bedroom. 

We finished undressing and fell onto the bed, our mouths locked tight as our arms and legs tangled together, hands moving everywhere. My heart pounded. We were moving too fast, desperate. Not enough time. We were rushing, afraid to lose any more time.

Then she stopped me. “Not like this,” she whispered. _We have time._

We paused to catch our breaths, resting together for a minute or two. I basked in the stillness, taking a moment to capture every detail for safekeeping. Our breaths synced up naturally. Moonlit shadows of the roof crisscrossed the bed, tracing the contours of our bodies. I marveled at the beauty of the woman laying next to me—the subtle rise and fall of her bare chest, the dark hair falling across her shoulders, her sensuous curves of beautiful brown skin flecked by dimpled scars running along the surface. All was quiet. Just the two of us. 

She cradled my head and drew me into a luxurious kiss. She suckled my lower lip and brushed my lips with her tongue. I took it in, tasting her delicate sweetness along with the salt of our tears. 

She gently rolled me to one side and rested my head on her arm. Hugging me from behind, she draped her other arm around me and palmed the middle of my chest. I closed my eyes and leaned against her, relishing the feel of her naked body along my back. I pressed her hand on my heart, sharing my heartbeat. Her breath tingled my spine as she nuzzled her face into the back of my neck.

She glided her free hand over my shoulder and down my arm, brushing my skin with soothing strokes. Then her hand ran along my breasts, down my abdomen. My eyes fluttered—I gasped, her caresses stirring my desires. There was tenderness in the way she touched me, slow and deliberate—every touch an affirmation who I was. That she knew me.

I became more aware of her legs pressed flush behind me. I rocked against them, and she responded by propping her thigh between my legs, pulling me in tighter. I slid against it and reveled in the increasing tension, the ache throbbing inside me. Then her free hand dipped lower, flowing along my hip and circling around my thighs. A pleasing warmth spread everywhere she touched, washing over me. I shuddered as fingertips grazed the folds between my legs where the warmth was pooling. 

She stopped and shifted positions, moving her arm out from under me so that I could lean further back against her. She hovered over me, and I reached behind her neck to pull her into a deep kiss. My back arched as our tongues entwined, a wave of pleasure pouring into me.

As we kissed, she reached between my legs, and I parted them open for her. She explored me with soothing strokes, the heat and wetness growing. Then she opened me wider, and before I knew it, she slipped inside me. I took her in, reeling from the sensations of fullness and her mouth connected with mine. 

Then she slowed down, not moving, simply holding me. At first, my body protested, yearning for release. But I waited as she held me, relaxing into her as best I could. 

I glimpsed the moon high above shining down on my chest and abdomen. Moonlight filtered in, illuminating the sweat glistening on our bodies. We were alone and she was making love to me, drawing out each moment of the night.

She whispered in my ear. “Piper, I...” She trailed off, unable to say more.

I turned to look into her shining brown eyes, seeing the depth in them. _I know,_ my gut answered, but I couldn’t speak the words. I kissed her gently instead, beckoning her to continue.

She shifted her grip and pressed deeper, curling her fingers inside another part of me. I rocked against her, sliding in rhythm, spiraling outward into the night sky. There was an intense pressure expanding within me, and with it an emotion, climbing higher and higher. Then suddenly it broke, and a million stars scattered in my mind. 

And then I was crying, the release dislodging the knot in my heart, my fear of losing her. She let go and embraced me, but the sadness rippling through me wouldn’t subside.

She kissed me, apologizing. But there was nothing either of us could do. I might lose her tomorrow. The despair lodged deep inside me, a knife caught between my throat and heart.

...

That feeling haunted me in the early morning hours as I accompanied Blue to the Signal Interceptor, where Preston, Desdemona, Tinker Tom and Sturges were waiting. I paid little attention as Tom and Sturges powered up the metal monstrosity, which hummed and flickered currents of blue electricity between its Tesla coils. And I barely registered the team’s last-minute instructions to Blue before she stepped into her Power Armor, then onto the platform. 

Blue turned to me. Piercing flashes of lightning reflected back from the cold mirror eyes of her helmet. Then the lightning arcs punched closer and closer, before coalescing in the center of the platform. 

The deafening impact of that final lightning strike erupted into a shower of sparks raining down from the exploding beam emitter. When the fireworks died down, we were plunged into darkness, confronted with the sputtering ruins of the Signal Interceptor and a sudden void on the empty platform. And I was left utterly alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to skip over most of Hunter/Hunted to cut to the chase (I totally sucked at that quest anyway). Also in-game, I didn’t know that your companions get left behind when you zap off to the Institute, so I had to write a proper goodbye for the moment, with a callback to Chapter 8.
> 
> For a little mood music, try this one: “I Know How to Speak” by Manchester Orchestra. I personally find it soothing in these challenging times...
> 
> Still planning a brief hiatus in 2 more chapters... Thank you for reading!


	32. An Interminable Wait

There was nothing to do but wait. I hated it.

Life in Sanctuary returned to normal as if nothing had happened. Although access to the Signal Interceptor was restricted, everyone in Sanctuary knew something big had gone down. But after Blue disappeared, the settlers simply carried on with their lives. I guess I shouldn’t have faulted them. There was nothing they could do. Nothing I could do.

Desdemona and Tinker Tom returned immediately to Railroad HQ to wait—we were to radio them if Blue survived. If Blue failed, and if the Institute somehow traced the location of the Signal Interceptor and retaliated, then Sanctuary would pay the price. The Railroad could disavow knowledge and survive another day. It was a cold calculus, but one that Desdemona, Blue, and Preston had agreed to ahead of time. 

If Blue made it, she’ll come back, I told myself. Have faith.

Was this what Nora told herself, when Nate went away?

Nora’s life was full of waiting. Waiting for Nate to come home, waiting to have a baby. Waiting for her life to begin. I couldn’t imagine Nora just sitting around wringing her hands for months, wondering what battles Nate was fighting abroad. She kept busy fighting her own battles before giving up law in frustration.

So much of our own relationship was about waiting—first when Blue left to find Kellogg, then the unending work of trying to rebuild the Commonwealth. Sometimes our work forced us to spend days, even weeks apart, but we made the best of it.

But in the time we’ve been together, this wait was the worst.

Waiting was torture.

...

The first night, I kept vigil in her empty house.

I walked around and studied the objects left in place—snapshots in time. A display case held the threadbare flag of the former United States, with 13 embroidered stars circling another star in the middle of a faded blue field. A fancy wooden frame that once housed a diploma of some sort sat empty, its contents bleached beyond recognition. A rusted built-in bookcase held a few favorite books, their pages burned and unreadable.

In Shaun’s room, Blue had placed a single bed inside, an acknowledgment that her infant son had grown. But Shaun’s crib and baby dresser were still left in place. She wasn’t ready to put them away—to move on from the dream of raising her baby.

I looked around the bedroom. Except for the bed, everything in the room was the same as it was 200 years ago. Burnt-out photographs and faded mementos from a past life sat undisturbed on top of the old dressers. An old military uniform was folded neatly on top of a chair. A broken table lamp listed to one side on a nightstand. These were preserved memories from someone else’s life. 

I wondered about Nate and Nora, the life they led. And pondered the strangeness of how the night before I was in their room, sharing a bed with another man’s wife. I felt like an intruder in their life, even though I had been invited here. 

All of these things were left here, waiting. Waiting for their owners to come back to make the place alive again.

I laid down in their bedroom, waiting.

I couldn’t sleep. I didn’t bother trying.

...

The second day, I was on edge. I was irritable and snapped at everyone. 

Everyone tried unsuccessfully to assure me that things would be alright. Preston gave a speech to the settlers to maintain morale. He had emerged as a top leader of the Minutemen, as Blue believed he would. But I wasn’t in the mood for his platitudes about things working out. He left me alone to sulk, but as he turned away, I glimpsed his own worry creased in his face. 

Sturges’ consolation wasn’t any better. He examined the last readouts on the Signal Interceptor’s ruined console, made some calculations, and proclaimed that he was 78% sure she made it. Not a reassuring statistical probability.

One bit of consolation came from an unlikely source. Mama Murphy noticed me moping around the workshop house and approached me. 

“The Sight says she’s alive,” she said, taking my hand. “But something is blocking me from seeing more. Maybe with some Jet, the Sight will show me more...” 

I normally frowned on enabling someone’s chem addiction. But in that moment I was drowning, grasping for any glimmer of hope. I wanted so badly to take up her offer. I ultimately resisted, but only barely.

Later that night, I bummed a few cigarettes and smoked. It’s not a regular habit—I’m more of a casual smoker if anything. But I needed something to take the edge off. Then I hit the flophouse bar for some vodka. 

I started nodding off at the bar, then I jolted awake, nearly toppling off my stool. Some sympathetic settlers guided me to the bar’s sofa, where I crashed for a few hours.

...

I woke up in the middle of the night, slightly hungover, my body raw and aching from not sleeping well. 

I staggered to the radio operator on duty and demanded an update. He tuned to Blue’s Pip-Boy frequency: “Outpost Alpha to General. Come in. Request status report, over.” 

Again, no word. Only radio silence and buzzing static.

I walked to the smoking ruins of the Signal Interceptor. Dangerous sparks spewed from the towering tangle of Tesla coils. Sturges was up, tinkering with the fried control console. 

“Maybe with a few minor calibrations, it won’t overload again,” he tried to convince himself.

I looked away from the crackling junk sculpture and focused on the broken pavement beneath my feet. I felt low. My chest welled up with sadness. I buried my face in my hands and began to cry.

.

.

.

A blinding flash snapped me out of my funk, followed by a deafening bang.

It came from up the street. The noise woke up the whole settlement. Settlers raced towards the flashpoint, armed with their guns and farming implements.

Blue lightning sparked around the flashpoint. An ominous ball of smoke emanated from the flashpoint, rising slowly before dissipating into the atmosphere in wispy curls, dissolving into the silhouette of a Power Armor suit crouched low to the ground. 

The stubborn haze clung to the Power Armor suit, which slowly stood up with hands raised in surrender. It carefully removed its helmet, revealing the face of the woman I loved.

“Oh my God, Blue!” I ran up and kissed her, standing on my toes to reach her.

“I’m okay.” She kissed back and nudged my forehead. She smelled really good. “Wait, let me get out of this thing.” She exited her Power Armor and we hugged properly as the settlers surrounded us, relieved.

“General, welcome back,” Preston saluted. Blue saw his worried face, and he sighed with relief as she pulled him into a reassuring hug. Her Vault suit looked a bit cleaner than when she left. 

“General! I trust your mission went well?” Sturges stood nearby, eager to see if Blue brought back anything.

Blue glanced around the crowd, not answering. “Let’s talk in the house.”

The crowd dispersed back to bed, while Preston, Sturges, Blue, and I went inside the workshop house. Blue rummaged through a hidden pocket in her Vault suit and produced a holotape. 

As she handed Sturges the holotape, Blue warned, “Before you do anything, I want you to check me, this tape and all my equipment for bugs, devices, anything suspicious. This includes the suit I’m wearing, the Power Armor, my body. Everything. Then we can do a debrief.”

“Um, yes, General,” Sturges said. 

Preston nodded. “A reasonable precaution. While you’re getting checked out, I’ll wait in the community house to do the debrief.” Blue exchanged a brotherly handshake with Preston before he left.

Sturges searched a tool chest in the kitchen for some small devices. “I’ve got some scanners that the Railroad shared with us,” he explained. “You might want Tom to check you too the next time you visit them.”  
  
“Thanks,” Blue said hesitantly.

I sat in the living room while Sturges waved a scanner around Blue. The scanner beeped innocuously, and Sturges nodded in approval. Then he asked Blue to remove her Pip-Boy and place it on a table for scanning. 

As he adjusted the scanner, Blue divulged how she was able to return to Sanctuary. “The Institute installed a relay chip on my Pip-Boy so that I could transport directly to the Institute and back. Could that be used to trace me? Like how I tracked the Courser?”

“Oh wow, they gave you access to the Relay? Can you show me where?” Blue pointed to the upgrade, and Sturges scanned it repeatedly, then scanned the rest of the Pip-Boy.

“Hmm, I don’t detect any radio signals or listening devices,” he said. “It seems to work differently from the chips that Coursers have. This chip has an ID code that authorizes you to access the Relay. It then emits a signal that activates the Relay. This signal might be traceable, but only when you use it.” 

“That could be a problem. I don’t plan on using it again anytime soon though.”

“You might want to ask Tom for a second opinion. As a precaution, you shouldn’t teleport near sensitive sites, especially the Railroad’s headquarters. But at least they’re not listening in on you or tracking your location after you leave the Institute. That’s not what the chip does.” 

Sturges cleared his throat. “I don’t know if you want me to handle the, uh, rest of the scan,” Sturges stammered awkwardly. “Not that there’s anything wrong with me doing it, I just thought that maybe you’d want, you know, privacy...”

Blue rolled her eyes. “Can I do it myself? Or Piper?”

“Uh yeah, whatever you want. It may be better if Piper does it so she can keep an eye on the dial. That is, if you’re comfortable doing that, Piper.” 

To their credit, most of the Minutemen including Sturges didn’t make a big deal about Blue and me being together. That didn’t mean I couldn’t give him a hard time about it. 

“Fine. What do you want me to do?” I flung my hands in exaggerated disgust, making things more awkward for Sturges.

“Okay excellent. Uh, just so you know, it’s probably not necessary to take everything off...”

“Just give it, Sturges.”

“Right, ma’am.”

Sturges showed Blue and me how the scanning device worked. A makeshift antenna protruded from a small box with an “on” button and a dial readout similar to pre-War Geiger counters. The dial went from green to red. As long as the dial stayed green, Blue was bug-free. He left us to the task while he went outside to scan Blue’s Power Armor, weapons, and gear.

We went into a spare bedroom and shut the door. The room grew quiet. We turned to each other and sighed.

“Well, here we are. Alone. In a room together. Again.” Blue shrugged apologetically.

“And you’re about to undress for, you know, science,” I quipped.

Blue shook her head. “I have so many jokes I could say about this situation.”

“Admit it, Blue. You set this up on purpose.”

“I did not!” Blue protested, feigning hurt. Then eyes grew serious. “If only the circumstances were better.” 

She held my hands. Then I abruptly pulled her into a hug. I held on tight, breathing a huge sigh of relief.

“I’m glad you’re alive.”

“Me too Piper. Me too.” She let go and held my hands again. “I’m so sorry for being gone so long. I couldn’t send out a message, and I couldn’t get back any sooner.”

“It’s okay. All that matters is that you’re back now. Let’s get this thing over with, then we’ll talk.”

Blue stripped off her Vault suit and laid it on the bed, then she stood still in her underwear while I slowly waved the scanner around her. I stuck to the business at hand, keeping a close eye on the dial for any deviations. The scanner clicked quietly as I moved it around, the dial staying firmly green. 

Blue held up her hair as I scanned around her head. Nothing, although I noticed that her hair smelled like—flowers? Then I scanned the Vault suit again, in case anything was missed while Blue was wearing it.

“Looks like you’re all green, Blue...” I trailed off, realizing my stupid pun.

“That’s good,” Blue said as she got dressed again. “Not a 100% guarantee, but a good sign that he was telling the truth.”

“He? Who’s he? What’s going on? What happened at the Institute? Where’s your son? And, why do you smell so good? Not that I’m complaining...”

Blue was about to answer when Sturges knocked. “General?” Sturges talked through the door. “Your armor and gear all check out. Everything okay in there?”

“Yeah, we’re all clear in here too,” Blue replied. “Can you ask Preston to do the debrief tomorrow? I need to talk to Piper first.”

“Sure thing, boss. See you in the morning.”

Blue waited for Sturges to walk away before resuming. “You better sit down.” We sat on the bed next to each other. 

There was a pregnant pause. “Piper, I—hate to ask this. But what I’m about to say has to be—off the record.”

_Oh no._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sort of an irrelevant detail, but I forget that Piper smokes? The thing is, I’ve never seen her smoke in my game! I’ve tried giving her cigarettes and everything, but nope, she’s non-smoking. It seems like she smokes in everyone else’s game, so have a casual smoker Piper. 
> 
> One more week until a brief hiatus, which will likely last about 3 weeks (noooo...). I’m also certain that I’ll need to change to a bi-weekly posting schedule (subject to IRL conditions). Tentative schedule here on my [tumblr](https://velvet-helvetica.tumblr.com/post/626666928860168192/hiatus-posting-schedule). The finish line is ~10 chapters away, but there’s still so much plot to cover! Gaaaahhh, thank you all for sticking with this...


	33. Off the Record

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: If you’ve read this far, I assume you’ve already passed _Fallout 4_. But spoiler warning anyway—big plot twist ahead if you haven’t yet played the “Institutionalized” main quest.

_Off the record._

Blue had never invoked “off the record.” The rule was more of a running joke between us about personal matters. Up to this point, I had made an exception for the Railroad and their operations. But Blue never explicitly asked me to not cover the Railroad. We had mutually agreed that exposing the Railroad would cause more harm than good.

So whatever Blue was about to say about the Institute was big. And she was asking me to keep it a secret. Which, frankly, I hated doing. 

“Piper, you have to promise me. Off the record.” 

I considered leaving the room. If I couldn’t report the truth freely and openly, then maybe it was better not knowing. But damn my curiosity. 

“Off the record,” I repeated. Fuck. “Why don’t you start from the beginning.”

Blue took a deep breath and closed her eyes. She recalled the moment she teleported into an unoccupied area of the Institute. She was encased in her Power Armor under a stealth field and running Sturges’ holotape on a terminal when a voice welcomed her and beckoned her deeper into the facility. Realizing her cover was blown, she stashed the holotape and followed the voice down the rabbit hole. 

“I rode an elevator, and through the glass, I saw the Institute for the first time. It was—I can’t even describe it. It was beautiful. A vast city of the future hidden underground. And not like a Vault. Everything was new, radiant, modern, impeccably designed. With trees—real trees, and water flowing. Humans and synths walked around, but I couldn’t tell which was which.”

“The elevator opened to a corridor, and the voice led me to a room. That’s where I saw him. Shaun.”

Oh my God. She had found him. 

“He looked the same age as when Kellogg had him. He was playing by himself in an enclosed space behind glass. I got out of my armor so he could see me. So he could see my face. And I called out to him.”

“He—the boy was afraid of me.” Blue’s voice cracked. “He yelled and screamed that I was going to take him away. Then a scientist came in and said something to the boy. Then the boy went limp. It wasn’t Shaun. The boy was a _synth_.”

I felt gut-punched. Those bastards. What were they trying to pull?

“He said that the boy was an experiment. I was livid. I grabbed my rifle and pointed it straight at his, the scientist’s face.” Blue turned to me. “I was ready to die, Piper. I was going to blow his head off, then nuke the Institute back to Hell and blow myself up in the process.”

“I wouldn’t have blamed you. Damn those sick fucks.”

“The scientist, he looked old. And familiar, although I didn’t recognize him at that moment. He called himself the Father.” Blue made air quotes with her fingers to emphasize “Father.”

“The Father? With a capital F?” Blue nodded. Boy was that problematic. This guy had megalomaniac written all over him. 

“He’s called the Father because he’s the father of the Gen-3 synths. The Gen-3s were created from his DNA. _Shaun’s DNA_.” 

Shaun’s DNA? “Wait, I’m confused. I thought you said the boy wasn’t Shaun.”

Blue shook her head. “Not the boy. Shaun is the Father.”

My mind struggled to connect the dots. Then my jaw dropped. “The old guy? He’s Shaun?!!”

No, that’s impossible. But it was true. Blue explained that the Institute kidnapped Shaun from Vault 111 as a baby over 60 years ago—not 10 years ago like she thought. They needed his DNA, frozen in cryo stasis before the War, untainted by radiation. They needed his DNA to create the next generation of synths. And they had succeeded. 

Shaun was raised by the Institute, accepting a situation that was out of his control. Became a scientist and worked for them. And now he ran the Institute. The same Institute that was kidnapping people and infiltrating the Commonwealth with their mass-produced synths.

“Oh Blue.” I flopped my back on the bed, reeling from her revelations. I was speechless.

“Yeah. It was a total shock to me too.” Blue flopped next to me. “Needless to say I didn’t blow him up.”

This was huge. Blue’s entire family was at the center of an Institute conspiracy stretching back over 60 years. I couldn’t yet fully wrap my head around the implications of Shaun being connected at the top to everything with the Institute. I mentally recalled the scraps of evidence that I had painstakingly gathered about the Institute thus far. This blew all of my theories out of the water. I’d have to review my notes later, remap everything I thought I knew.

“Are you sure this ‘Father’ was the real Shaun?” I asked, still disbelieving. “That he wasn’t some old guy pretending to be him, or a synth?”

Blue rubbed her chin. “Anything is possible when it comes to the Institute,” she conceded. “If I hadn’t heard him say it in person, I’d have my doubts too. But it’s him.” She gestured as if to conjure his physicality out of thin air. “His face... It looked like a blend of my father’s face, and Nate’s if he were older. The same chin as him. With grey hair, brown eyes, weathered skin. He looked...tired.”

My mind had trouble reconciling the cognitive dissonance of Blue’s son being 25 years older than her. Then an inappropriate thought crossed my mind. 

“Wait, so if Shaun’s the ‘father’ of all synths, that means you’re the grandmother of...”

Blue’s face fell. “Oh God. No. Don’t.”

“What? It’s not your fault. There’s nothing wrong with that.”

Blue sat up, livid. “Are you kidding me?! Piper, I’m trying to be serious here and you...” She huffed and wagged her finger. “I am _nobody’s_ grandma!”

I sat up and shrugged. “What? What’s there to be ashamed of? You’re a hot grandma.”

Blue stabbed her finger into my chest. “Do not—call me a ‘hot grandma.’”

“Okay... But you are.”

“Stop it!”

“Okay, Gams. Then what happened?”

Blue shot me a spiteful look before continuing. “Shaun asked me to stay to talk to his head scientists and learn about the Institute. No one was on duty yet, so he prepared quarters for me to wait in. At that point, I couldn’t think straight—I really needed to lay down. So I passed out on this luxurious mattress. Overslept. When I woke up, I took a really long shower. With hot running water. And soap. Real lavender soap.”

That explained the smell. I didn’t know what lavender soap was, but it smelled amazing. “Sooo, you stayed at the Hotel de l’Institute. I assume they cleaned and pressed your suit too. Must have been nice.”

Blue accepted my sarcasm gracefully. “I know. I’m sorry. I’m sure he was tempting me with their modern amenities. So that I’d want to stay.” 

“That’s a good bet. Why stay with us poor riffraff on the surface, when you can live safely in the lap of luxury below?”

“Anyway, I got the grand tour,” Blue went on, and she talked glowingly of the projects the scientists showed her, technological advancements that could help people and someday rebuild life on the surface.

“I stayed for two days, meeting people and observing their operations. Then, I thanked Shaun for his hospitality and asked him if I could go home. And I came back.”

“That’s it? He just...let you go?”

“Yeah, pretty much. Shaun said he trusted me and that I wasn’t going to be watched or anything. So I jumped back here.”

I looked at her, incredulous. Blue continued her story. “The thing is, every scientist I talked to, they kept insisting that everyone had the wrong idea about the Institute. That they were trying to improve mankind, and had spent the last two generations with that goal in mind. I didn’t sense that they were trying to bullshit me. In their heart of hearts, they truly believe that what they’re doing is for the greater good. Shaun believes this.”

My head hurt. I couldn’t believe what Blue was saying. That the Institute might not be the big bad that we thought they were? My gut said she was wrong, that there were red flags in her story somewhere. Not that I thought she was lying to me, but that what Blue was told was not the whole truth. Unfortunately, I was too sleep-deprived to analyze things properly. My questions would have to wait.

“Blue, can we pick this up tomorrow? I want to hear more, but I’m fading and I don’t want to miss anything important.”

“Yeah me too. Let’s go to bed.”

Blue helped me up, and we made our way back to her house. She tucked me in and kissed me goodnight, and I fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.

...

I woke up in the middle of a radiation storm. But it wasn’t a typical rad storm.

The house shuddered violently. Everything around me vibrated. Old picture frames fell off the bedroom dressers, then the dressers themselves skittered across the floor.

Suddenly, the walls of the house tore off with an ear-splitting screech. The walls soared into the murky green tornado churning above me as I sat on the bed, exposed to the elements. Violent winds whipped around me and my hair blew in all directions. 

All of Sanctuary was leveled, devoured by the tornado. The screeching grew louder and more high-pitched. I covered my ears to block the noise, but the screeching was inside my head. I screamed but couldn’t hear myself. 

The noise wouldn’t stop. Then a white flash...

...

“AAAAAAHHH!!!”

“AAAAAAHHH!!! PIPER!!!”

I blinked, and the storm was gone. I was lying in bed. Warm sunlight beamed in from the windows and the open rooftop. Everything in the bedroom was as it was.

“My God, you scared me!” Blue shouted.

I sat up and turned towards the doorway. Blue was in the hallway, leaning over a piece of furniture. Only something was different. Blue wasn’t—blue.

“Blue? Is that you?”

“Of course it’s me, who else would it be?”

“I know, but, your Vault suit—where did it go?”

“Oh, that. I took it off.”

“You, what?”

I jumped out of bed and went to her. Blue’s Vault suit was missing, as was her dog tag necklace. Instead, she was wearing an olive green button-up shirt and dark cargo pants. Her clothes were patched in some spots but were otherwise serviceable. She looked almost...contemporary. 

“Why were you screaming?” Blue asked. “You scared the shit out of me.”

“I had a nightmare. I heard this horrible screeching noise that wouldn’t stop.”

“Oh... Sorry that was my fault. I was trying to drag this outside. Didn’t think such a small thing would weigh a ton.”

“What thing? The...crib?” I glanced down and finally noticed the piece of furniture that Blue was moving.

“Ma’ams! I came as soon as I heard the screams!” Codsworth floated into the house, concerned.

“We’re okay, Codsworth,” Blue answered. “But can you help me bring this outside? I want it scrapped.”

“Certainly, Ma’am. Although, that’s Master Shaun’s crib. Are you sure?”

“Master Shaun doesn’t need it anymore,” Blue snapped. Wow, this was an unexpected shift.

“Erm, right away, Ma’am.” Codsworth gripped one side of the crib with his claws, holding it in front of him, then used extra thrust to lift it off the ground.

Blue looked forlorn as the crib floated away. Past the front door, I glimpsed Codsworth chatting with Preston about the crib. He looked surprised, then he said something about another family who was expecting.

“Blue...” Should I still call her Blue? “Blue, what’s going on?”

“Nothing. I just wanted to change things up.” She ran her fingers through her hair. “I should have done this a long time ago, instead of pretending that things would just magically go back to the way things were.”

“Blue...”

She shook her head, frustrated. “Do you realize what an idiot I’ve been? Running around the Commonwealth looking for my son, killing everyone in my way? When he was at the Institute the whole time? And he’s grown. My son doesn’t need me anymore.”

Something wasn’t right. If he was the leader of the Institute, why didn’t Shaun contact her? Or try to help her? Surely with his resources, he could have helped his own mother survive.

“I don’t understand. What about the Institute?” I asked. “Aren’t you going to go after them?”

“I talked to Preston already. We’re not going to do anything.”

“What?! Why?”

Blue avoided my gaze. “I can’t do anything to them without hurting Shaun. And Shaun wants me to join them, which I can’t do either. So I’m choosing to do nothing.” Wait, Shaun wanted her to join the Evil Empire? 

“But Blue, the kidnappings! The synths they’re sending! The Railroad...”

“I fulfilled my end of the bargain with them,” she said, without elaborating.

“So that’s it then? You’re just quitting?”

Blue opened her mouth to say something, then thought better of it. She sat down on the couch, motioning me to follow. I sat down next to her. She seemed troubled. 

“Blue, this is all so sudden. I get that finding out that your son has aged 60 years and is now running the Institute is a shock. But this isn’t something we can just walk away from, is it?”

She hesitated, a pained expression in her eyes. “Piper, I—I think I need a break.”

My heart froze. “A break? Wh-what do you mean, break? You mean from, from us?”

Blue’s eyes flew wide open in horror. “Oh no, no no! Not a break from, from us, no that’s not what I—omigosh, I’m sorry! That’s not what I meant.” Adorably, Blue stammered and gesticulated wildly to wave off the notion. 

“Oh okay, whew. You had me scared there for a second.”

“No, no, I mean, well, I do want to talk about us. But not like that! Not at all. We’re fine, right?” I nodded reassuringly.

Blue huffed to calm herself, returning to her original train of thought. “What I meant was, I need a break from the grind. The way you’ve been feeling burnt out lately, I’ve been feeling it too. The fighting, the running around, fetching things, killing enemies of enemies, and trying to help everybody, but helping no one. Especially not myself. I’m just—tired of it.” 

She sighed. “It was hard for me to say no in the beginning. I can’t claim to have had purely altruistic reasons for doing what I’ve been doing. Every request for help, every errand, every kill. Everything I did was for the thin hope that someone would have an answer to the question of ‘What happened to Shaun?’ This past year—God, has it been a year already? All this time, what kept me going was the goal of finding Shaun. And getting revenge for Nate.”

“I’m tired, Piper,” Blue lamented. “I’m tired of living my life this way. I’m tired of being angry all the time. I have to accept that I found the answers I’m looking for. Maybe not the answers I want, but at least it’s the truth.” Her words echoed her first interview with me in Diamond City. “I found Shaun, and he’s grown and has his own life and doesn’t need me anymore. We found and killed Nate’s killer. I achieved all my goals. I slayed all my demons. Haven’t I?”

It was hard to argue when Blue put it this way. She had achieved what she set out to do when she first stumbled half-frozen out of Vault 111. Avenged Nate. Check. Found Shaun. Check. By all measures, Blue had won. Game over. 

So why did this feel like a hollow victory? Why did something still feel incomplete?

“What about the synths who are still under their control, attacking people?” I asked. “The kidnappings, people disappearing only to be replaced by copies for who knows what reason?”

“I can’t attack the Institute without hurting Shaun,” Blue insisted. “I, I can’t do it. I won’t do it.”

“So that’s it then? You’re just going to turn your back on what’s happening?” I stood up, disgusted. “Stick your head in the sand, like everyone else?”

Blue held her emotions in check. “If I don’t cooperate, if I don’t join, they—Shaun—doesn’t get what he wants. But he can still live his life. Doing nothing slows them down. They need someone like me, a human, who knows the surface. Someone to replace Kellogg.”

My jaw dropped. I was incredulous. “Replace Kellogg?! The Institute was the one who sent Kellogg! They destroyed your family! They sent Kellogg to take Shaun away and kill Nate! You’re just going to let that stand?!”

Blue rubbed her eyes, pinching the bridge of her nose. “I have no intention of replacing Kellogg. It, it’s complicated. Nate died needlessly. ‘Collateral damage,’ Shaun said.” 

“C-collateral damage?! Nate’s death was collateral damage?!” I was beside myself. “I’m sorry Blue, but how anyone can say that to downplay the murder of their own father is beyond me.” 

“I—I know.” Blue’s voice cracked. She was conflicted. “It’s unforgivable what the Institute did to my family. But I can’t do anything about that now. Shaun’s one of them. He’s been one of them all his life.” My mind was spinning. The whole thing sounded like Stockholm Syndrome, sympathizing with one’s captors. 

Blue stood. “It’s just—Shaun accepted circumstances that were beyond his control. He made the best of it by becoming a scientist and learning all he could. I can’t fault him for that. He accepted it and moved on. The world moved on. I’m the only one left who hasn’t.”

I paced the room. So this was really happening. “So that—that’s it then? You’re quitting, and moving on?”

“I, I want to. I think it’d be better if I did. Try to let go of the past. That’s what I want to talk to you about.”

“Me? Why?”

Blue stared at the floor, gathering her thoughts. “It hurts when we’re apart. When we’re separated and I’m out on the road somewhere, all I think about is the next time I’ll see you. Of all the people I’ve met, you’re the only one who hasn’t asked anything of me. Maybe a quote here or there, but that’s it. That’s not even anything.”

She closed the distance between us, taking my hand. “You’ve been so, so generous. You’ve stuck by me, no questions asked. And I don’t feel like I’ve given enough back to you in return. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to, but I want to try.”

“Blue, you don’t have to feel that way. You don’t owe anything to me.”

“I know, but _I_ want to. For you.” We sat back down on the couch together. “I want to stay with you. Help you with Nat. Help you with your career, help you fulfill your dreams. Go on dates with you and be happy. I want to know if a life with you is possible. I don’t want to wait anymore.”

 _Stop it Blue._ It was too much. I was torn. My gut said that our work wasn’t done. That there were too many unanswered questions. That we needed to find out the Institute’s intentions. That something bad was coming on the horizon. 

But my heart said something else. As soon as she said it, I realized it was true. I was tired of waiting too.

“Stop it! Stop it, Blue! Why do you have to do this to me?”

“Because I lo—” but I didn’t let her finish because I kissed her, letting out all my pent-up fear and anxiety from the past three days on her. All my collective fears that had been balled up over the past nine months of intermittent separation, I released them all at once in one forceful, desperate kiss. 

_This is going to cost you,_ my gut warned. 

I ignored it. I couldn’t help it. I wanted this more. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _And with that, the player quit the game and turned off her console/PC, satisfied that she had found all the answers she was looking for. Sure the Commonwealth was still a hot mess, and her son was behind most of it, but it wasn’t her problem to deal with. For she had found love, a new life, and a new purpose. THE END..._  
> .  
> .  
> .  
> /s Just kidding. No this is not the end, but it’s not far off from the thoughts I had as I was playing. (As an aside, no apologies for the _40-Year-Old Virgin_ ‘hot grandma’ reference.)
> 
> This fic will be on hiatus for the next 3 weeks, depending on how fast I play catch-up. With luck, I will be back around Sept. 19-20. I’ll update this note and my tumblr if the timing changes. And then I will shift to a bi-weekly-ish schedule, with a forecast of 9 more chapters until we reach the finish line. 
> 
> Until then, stay safe, read other amazing fics, and if you’re in the U.S., register to vote and vote early!


	34. Interlude

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: NSFW scene

Blue was true to her word. She moved back to Diamond City, splitting her time between Home Plate and the Castle while continuing to build up the Minutemen and their allies. Meanwhile, Railroad chatter grew ominously quiet. 

She stayed in town more often than not. We spent time together, went on dates, and had regular family dinners with Nat and Dogmeat. Life was good for a change.

Through it all, Blue was genuinely happy. She even seemed relieved. She finally had her second chance at life. Her family issues settled, she could put the past behind her and let it go.

I was happy too. I never imagined that I’d ever have a life like this. It was everything I could have hoped for. A chance at happiness, with the person I loved at my side. Having my work unconditionally supported by the person I cared about. Living together as a family in Diamond City.

And yet...my gut nagged me. _This isn’t right._

...

Three months passed. But the presses didn’t stop printing bad news. Not a week went by when innocent lives weren’t lost to skirmishes between Institute synths and surface dwellers. Or when some family lamented the disappearance of a loved one, with no one willing to help find them. Or when someone shot somebody else they suspected to be a synth replacement. 

Blue read the paper. She knew what was going on. When a new issue came out, I gingerly brought up the subject of the Institute. It was the elephant in the room—what her son, the Father, was doing. Hurting people. Sowing chaos. Causing more pain.

But she never said anything about it. After a while, I stopped bringing it up. 

Blue did her best to work around the Institute’s incursions. She kept reassuring the Minutemen that their settlements were safe. That forging alliances without upsetting the balance of power between the various factions would create stability. That peace could be had if everyone worked hard enough, built up their defenses, and united together in a common effort. 

My gut complained every day. _These are comforting lies. She should know better._

_This isn’t working._

…

For my latest article, I interviewed a source from Goodneighbor who suspected that a fellow settler had been replaced by a synth. There were rumors of experiments being conducted at their settlement on behalf of the Institute.

Blue had come over to my place. The latest issue of _Publick Occurrences_ was hot off the presses. I handed it to her and she read it silently. She read the issue from cover to cover but said nothing.

That was the final straw. Infuriated, I ripped the paper out of her hands and threw it on the floor.

Blue jumped up. “What the hell?”

“What’s gotten into you, Blue?” I yelled. “You were the one person in the world I thought I could count on. But lately, it’s starting to feel like I don’t recognize you anymore. And I'm not willing to just let that happen.”

Blue was dumbfounded. “Piper, what are you talking about?”

I gritted my teeth. “I need you to hear this. Because how you’ve been acting, ain’t gonna fly. The choices you’ve been making, I don’t know how anyone with a heart can do things like that. So if you want us to still be together, I need you to find yours. Quick.” 

“A—heart?! What—what are you saying? What do you expect me to be doing that I’m not already?”

“How about finding some damn compassion? As hard as it may be to believe, Blue, you and I, we have it good. Lot of other folks aren’t so lucky.”

“You think I don’t know that?!” 

“No, I don’t think you do, the way you’ve been turning a blind eye to what’s going on.”

She threw up her hands, infuriated. “I can’t believe you. I’ve done nothing but bust my ass everyday since I got out of the Vault. I’m still doing the same goddamn thing I’ve been doing since day one for people I don’t even know. Doing right by people. That’s what you believe in, isn’t it? And that’s still not good enough for you?”

“No, no it’s not! And you’re avoiding the real issue.”

“Oh? And what issue is that?”

“Your son, Blue! Shaun! Your son is hurting people! People are dying! After all we’ve been through, how can you just ignore what’s happening?”

Blue fell silent for a moment. “I know what I’m doing,” she seethed.

“Do you? I don’t know, but if you ask me, this ‘do nothing’ routine of yours isn’t working.”

“And what do you want me to do about it? Fight the Institute? Turn against my son? You know I can’t do that!”

“I—I’m not asking you to.” I struggled to wrangle my thoughts. “But you’re the only one with a personal connection to him. You’re the only one with a shot at reaching him.” 

“He—he won’t…” Blue stopped herself. “Tell me the truth, Piper. If Nat was the one running the Institute, what would you do? Huh? Tell me!”

That caught me off-guard. What the hell does my sister have to do with this? “I—I don’t know. I’d be in agony about it too. But I also wouldn’t be able to ignore the evil that’s happening all around us. Like the way you and Nate did when the world was going to shit…” Oh fuck. I regretted saying it as soon as the words flew out of my mouth.

Blue glared at me, furious. “Fuck—you. That’s not fair—you weren’t there. Nobody was!” She pointed at me accusingly. “Maybe I’m not a martyr like you, Piper. Maybe we’re not as alike as you’d like to think we are.”

“I don’t believe that. You’re better than this, Blue!”

“I am who I am, Piper.” She stiffened up, crossing her arms. “You’re just going to have to deal with that.”

I stared her down. “Well, I’m not just going to stand quietly by and act like it’s okay.”

Blue’s face fell, then her eyes grew cold. “Then we have nothing else to talk about.”

“No, apparently not.” I rushed out the front door, slamming it behind me.

...

Incensed, I stormed through Diamond City, ignoring the usual dirty looks and jeers from the citizenry and Diamond City guards who despised me. 

I roamed to the outfield and ascended the stairs leading to the stands, climbing all the way to the top of the Green Monster. I went all the way to the outer edge of the stadium and screamed. Below, beyond the borders of Diamond City, my screams caught the attention of some roaming mongrels and a Diamond City border patrol. 

I didn’t care. I yelled some more, cursing relentlessly at the Commonwealth.

I turned back towards the playing field, plopped into one of the few working seats, then kicked the Green Monster. When did I stop calling it the Green Wall, anyway? It was because of Blue’s memories of the baseball games she used to watch. I had found them endearing, her stories of the promising home runs that died when the balls collided with the impenetrable Green Monster. 

But now all I wanted to do was forget them, forget her stories, forget that I ever enjoyed anything about them. How could I ever feel good about her stories again? When what she doing was betraying everything I believed in? 

And worst of all, I was to blame. Because I let her in. I followed her, listened to her, was inspired by her. Fell in love with her. And over time, I compromised my values, my principles. I compromised the integrity of the paper. I convinced myself that it was for the greater good. That I loved her, and she was worth it. That what we were doing together was right. That I had to give up some of what I believed in to make her happy.

How did I let it get to this? I was so angry at myself. I kicked the Green Monster again, then started sobbing. I sobbed for a long while up there in the stands. 

I was losing myself. I felt like we were losing each other. And the sad truth was, despite everything, I didn’t want to lose her.

...

Once I cooled off, I made my way back home. Blue must have left by now. 

When I opened the door, Nat and Dogmeat were home enjoying a quiet meal together. Dogmeat wagged his tail and woofed a gentle greeting, but I wasn’t in the mood to reciprocate.

“Hey, sis. Everything okay?”

I froze when I saw her. I thought back to Blue’s hypothetical. _If Nat were the one in charge of the Institute, what would you do?_

It was an obvious deflection. But one that I couldn’t ignore as I stared at my little sister. Sweet, sweet Nat, my parents’ late-in-life miracle baby who I’d been raising since she was three. Nat wasn’t a baby anymore, but I still didn’t like the thought of her growing up so fast. 

I had a hard time imagining her as a grown woman, let alone a 60-year-old woman who inexplicably became older than me. I cringed as I imagined senior Nat in an Institute lab coat. I recoiled in horror as she conducted amoral experiments, enslaved synths to do her bidding, and killed countless people in the name of science. 

My mind immediately rejected these thoughts. Why? I should have raised Nat to know better. She should have steered away from unethical behavior before it got to that point. And despite all that, if she was still acting unethically, I should have been able to reason with her. 

Why couldn’t Blue reason with Shaun? She was his birth mother. But she never established herself as his real mother. The Institute stole that role from her when they kidnapped and raised him. They had probably brainwashed him with Institute doctrine for the past 60 years. She likely had no influence over him no matter what she said. So tragic...to find him only to realize he’s no longer her son...

I couldn’t say all this out loud to Blue, could I? It’d be too cruel. Did she realize these things already?

“Piper? Piper! Earth to Piper!”

I rubbed my eyes as my vision returned to the present. Nat was still a young papergirl and reporter-in-training, sitting with her trusty sidekick Dogmeat.

“Piper! Is everything okay?” she asked again.

“I—sorry. I don’t want to talk about it, Nat. Have you seen Blue?”

“No, I haven’t, sorry. Is everything alright?”

“Not really, but don’t worry about it. I’m going to look for her. Don’t wait up for me.” 

Nat and Dogmeat watched me with concern as I went upstairs. I rummaged through my desk, determined to find something. Several months had passed, and I still wasn’t able to find the holotape with Nate and Shaun’s voice recording. Blue hadn’t said anything, so I hoped she still hadn’t noticed it was missing. I felt guilty for swiping it in the first place, and grew more frustrated at myself for not being able to find it.

I pulled open a bottom drawer to sift through a heap of other random holotapes I’d collected throughout the years. That’s when I came across something I’d forgotten about.

...

I showed up at Home Plate with a bottle of wine and knocked on the door, apprehensive. A moment later, she appeared at the door. Her eyes were red.

“Hey,” I greeted quietly.

Blue paused to observe me, her face neutral. “Hey.”

I stood outside for a moment, wondering what to do next. “Can I come in?”

Blue blinked, flustered over forgetting her manners. “Yeah, of course.” I walked in, and she shut the door behind me.

Inside, Home Plate was dim but pleasantly lit. It was more furnished now than when she first bought the place. At a sitting area near the main entrance, a bottle of whiskey rested on the coffee table. Next to it sat an untouched glass and her old dog tag and wedding ring necklace, which she had stopped wearing months ago. Nearby, a salvaged kitchen counter was placed parallel to the stovetop, and a dining nook was nestled in the corner. Further down the hall, Blue had placed a refurbished stereo next to another couch and coffee table.

I motioned to the wine bottle in my hand. “Peace offering,” I joked, before setting it on the kitchen counter. Blue nodded and smiled weakly. 

I stood awkwardly with my hands in my coat pockets. At first, it was hard to look at her. Mixed emotions swirled in my chest, and the words were hard to get out. I pushed through it—I needed to say something. I had to try.

“Blue, I’m sorry. For lashing out earlier.”

She looked conflicted. “I—I’m sorry too. I didn’t realize you were unhappy.”

“It’s not—I’m not unhappy,” I began. “Things have been good, really good. It’s just... Look, maybe I’m partially to blame. I should have brought it up before, but I didn’t know how. Maybe if I did, things wouldn’t have blown up like that.”

Blue shook her head. “No, you did bring it up. It was me. I’ve been avoiding it.” Blue paused, searching for right words, before giving up. “Piper, I have to be honest. This—is really, really hard to talk about.”

Look I get it, I thought. I can’t imagine how hard this must be for you. I’m not saying you have to choose between your son and me. That would be an impossible choice. The thing is...maybe he’s not really your son anymore?

I hadn’t said a word yet when I saw the turmoil in Blue’s face. As much as I valued direct honesty, this was really hard to talk about. What had been happening wasn’t her fault. Did she blame herself for everything that had happened? Did she think I blamed her? Was it unfair of me to expect her to fix everything somehow?

I reconsidered. “You know what, Blue, let’s not talk about this right now. Let’s just enjoy the evening.” I walked back to the kitchen and poured two glasses of wine. We brought our wine to the couch near the stereo and sat down.

As we sipped our wine, I fished the holotape from my coat pocket and handed it to Blue. “Oh, before I forget, I also brought you a gift.”

Blue twirled the holotape around in her hand. “Thanks. What is it?”

“Not sure, but I think there’s music on here? I found it a long time ago.”

Blue read the label on the holotape. “Oh, you brought me a mixtape!” Blue beamed and clutched the holotape lightly to her chest. Her mood lightened considerably, which made me happy.

She loaded the mixtape into her stereo. The first song was a cheerful, earnest song about love. I’d never heard it before, although the style was similar to other songs that Travis played on Diamond City Radio. An upbeat melody boomed from the stereo speakers, then a female singer crooned a confession to her first love. 

The song made Blue grin, and before long she was singing along with the words. She swept me up from the couch and we danced for a bit. My heart soared as she serenaded me with the lyrics of the song.

As the song faded, we sat back down. “It’s funny,” Blue commented, “I must have heard this song a million times in my old life. It was background music. I wrote it off as sappy romance. But now, it’s like I’m really listening to it for the first time. It’s so—sincere.”

I nodded. “Mmm. People really knew how to be sincere back then. A quality that’s in short supply these days.”

“Yeah. Maybe I should have appreciated it more before.”

The holotape switched over to another song. This one had a different rhythm from the last one. A slower, deeper, more sensuous rhythm.

“Do you know this one?” I asked.

Blue listened to a few bars and shook her head. Then she flashed me a quiet smile, as if we were sharing a secret. A secret song, waiting to be heard. An old song made new again. 

The lyrics were sad and soulful. A baritone voice sung about loneliness. The rhythm flowed beneath, thrumming seductively, commanding action.

I stood and extended my hand. “Dance with me, Nora.”

Blue raised an eyebrow, intrigued that I had called her by name. She took my hand and I pulled her up, wrapping an arm around her waist. 

We danced cheek to cheek, clasping our hands against our chests, swaying together gently as the music washed over us. The room spun around us of its own accord. A string of lights that lined the hallway flickered in time with the music, basking us in a soft amber glow.

Blue closed her eyes and rested her head on my shoulder, nuzzling into my neck and exhaling jagged breaths. She was worn out, tired from always having all the answers, from shouldering the burden. She needed someone to lean on.

She glanced away, her mind shifting from one place to another, from one time to the next. I wondered what she was thinking, what memories from the past she missed on this night. Her easy confidence had retreated into vulnerability, something I hadn’t sensed from her since the first time we got together.

Things had changed so much since then. Her hair was shorter, her dark locks brushing along her jawline, partly obscuring her face. She dressed differently, wearing practical clothes that better suited her personality, her Vault suit no longer serving its purpose of signifying her losses. Still beautiful and timeless even in her newfound modernity.

But in this moment, she was the woman I had first met a year ago. A woman out of time, at a loss for where to go. Stuck in an in-between place. At war with herself. Needing assurance that she wasn’t alone. 

I tucked her hair behind her ear, watching as the lush strands gracefully swept across her cheeks. I nudged my finger under her chin and brought her lips to mine, brushing them softly. My stomach tightened into a knot from the subtle contact. She closed her eyes and sighed, and I grew dizzy from her warm breath swirling inside me. 

Gently, I pressed my lips against hers, and she yielded to my kiss, melting into me. I wrapped my palm behind her neck, tangling my fingers into her hair, and pulled her in deeper. The sweet taste of wine on her tongue was intoxicating, and I felt my heart beating faster and louder than the thrumming of the song.

The music beckoned us closer. I pulled her waist into me until our legs interlocked, drawing our hips flush to each other. I lost my mind reveling in the feeling of her pressed against me, sliding in rhythm with the drumbeat. The music took control of our bodies—our movements grew more frantic as we kissed and grasped for more contact. I longed to be closer to her, to recapture the time when I first realized how we felt about each other.

I didn’t wait for the song to finish—I grabbed her arm and led her upstairs. We quickly undressed and fell onto the bed. I straddled her and she surrendered to my mouth pressed underneath her jaw, to my hands and fingers running down her neck, then her breasts, making her skin run hot and cold. 

She arched her back as my fingertips swept down her midline and across the flat plane of her abdomen, before dipping in between her legs. She gasped and cried out as I entered her. I laid on top of her, buoyed by the rapid rising and falling of her chest pressed against me. She held onto me as I reached in deeper, feeling the hot tension wrapped around my fingers, and followed her flow until we synced into an undulating rhythm. She felt incredible as she writhed underneath me, thrashing and bucking her hips, her body on fire.

As we continued on, she closed her eyes, fading in and out—at once here and not here. Her mind seemed to flicker between the past and the present, not caring which was which. Her duality was a part of her. She was both Nora and Blue, of then and now. I embraced that about her, drawing it into my mind so that it became a part of me. A part of my understanding of her. 

She was getting close, and I sensed it. Without thinking, I whispered, “I love you, Nora.”

Her eyes grew wide and stared deep into mine, and then she shouted my name. She threw her head back and cried out, and I held on and watched as she completely unraveled beneath me. Then I scooped her up and held her as she came down, sweat-drenched and out of breath. 

She lavished kisses on me as she laid me down. She grazed me with kisses, igniting my body and spreading waves of pleasure as her mouth traveled along my skin. Then she sunk herself between my legs and poured her devotion into me.

I never doubted her love for me. Yet despite my best intentions, I wasn’t entirely present that night. My gut betrayed my heart. It said I was hanging on, that things couldn’t stay the way they were. That this was one last affair before things completely fell apart. I pushed those thoughts away, wanting to indulge in one more night. But a sliver of this thought persisted. _Nothing lasts._

…

In the twilight hours, Blue’s eyes were on me. She had sat up nude on the bed, her arms wrapped around one bent knee, casting her gaze on me and around the loft in Home Plate. Her darkened silhouette formed a graceful triangle, her outline rising and falling in slow, calm breaths. Meditating, but with a shadow of worry passing across her face.

I laid silently and pretended to sleep, leaving her to her thoughts. I wondered what was going through her mind. Hope? Fear? Love? Shame? I didn’t get a chance to ask. 

…

A few days later, Blue told me she was going away for a while. She promised to return, but didn’t tell me what the trip was for. I trusted that she would come back.

Two weeks passed. I was in my office when my radio scanner picked up an emergency transmission from the Railroad.

“...Bunker Hill safehouse under attack...Brotherhood...Institute forces...surrounded...”

Shit. I grabbed my gun and ran straight there.

...

Bunker Hill was a war zone. The main gates were burning. Vertibirds circled overhead as Brotherhood forces retreated, while a small detachment remained behind to collect the ID tags of the dead. 

The settlers at Bunker Hill cowered in their dwellings and trading posts, bloodied and thoroughly shellshocked. Too many innocents laid dead in the streets alongside fallen Brotherhood soldiers and Railroad heavies.

I followed the trail of bodies to a floor hatch that opened into a network of underground tunnels. Another battlefield unfolded before me, revealing more dead soldiers, some so disfigured that it was impossible to distinguish which side they were from. 

A few Railroad survivors were nursing their wounds. I offered them stimpaks in exchange for leads, and they pointed me deeper into the tunnels.

At the end of the tunnel was a secret room, the Railroad’s former safehouse. More dead Railroad agents greeted me, having laid down their lives to guard their quarry of escaped synths.

Hidden amongst the ruins was a strange recording device nestled in the corner of a broken countertop. I picked it up. There was a camera lens in the front, control buttons along the side, and a tiny screen in the back. 

I fiddled with the buttons. Wavy lines distorted the screen before snapping in place to a video of the room. Laser beams filled the frame, and I witnessed the deaths of the Railroad agents whose remains now surrounded me. As the lasers died down, four plain-clothed individuals—the synths in hiding, I gathered—stood frightened as two armed male coursers and a woman surrounded them. 

It was Blue.

Blue approached one of the synths. They trembled in fear, begging to be spared. One of the coursers nodded, then Blue spoke a strange code. The first synth went limp. 

The remaining synths screamed and begged louder for their lives. One by one, Blue spoke in code, deactivating the next two in succession.

The last one kneeled down and grabbed Blue’s pant leg, pleading for her life. A glimmer of sorrow passed through her eyes before turning cold. The last code was spoken, and the final synth fell lifeless.

The coursers immediately took custody of each synth and teleported away. Blue stood alone in the room for a minute, contemplating what she had done. Then she turned and stared resolutely into the camera before activating her Pip-Boy. She vanished in a flash of lighting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The fight borrows a lot of Piper’s low approval dialogue, which admittedly I've never triggered in-game (and honestly, who would be cold-hearted enough to hurt Piper?). If you don’t enjoy pain, don’t watch this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oQpFpdpXq0A.
> 
> I also confess there’s a _Dirty Dancing_ vibe to the dancing scene. I liked the idea of Piper finding a mixtape of oldies that are more lively and meaningful than the music that gets played over and over again on Diamond City Radio.
> 
> I plan to post bi-weekly from now on (subject to delays depending on my progress). Next one is coming Oct. 3-4, and I’ll keep updating about when to expect the next one. Thanks for reading!


	35. A Synth, a Ghoul, and a Super Mutant Walk into a Bar...

How could she do this?! How could she side with the Institute?! There was no way we could come back from this. Not after what she’d done. Not after what I saw her do.

I stormed off to Railroad HQ, video recorder in hand. If there was any hope of getting justice for those four synths and all those agents killed in the process, they had to know what happened.

En route, my portable radio crackled to life, interrupting Diamond City Radio’s regularly scheduled broadcast: 

> “For years now, you have suspected that the Institute still exists, that we are among you. It’s true, but it’s not the whole truth. We are here, and we are your new masters...”

That was Blue’s voice! Now she had really gone too far... 

...

I raced to the Old North Church and descended the stone steps into the musty crypt. A heated conversation was taking place in the back room.

“...Bunker Hill is burned, no thanks to you.”

“It was burned anyway. I did what I had to do.”

“But you didn’t even try. They’re going to get their memories wiped!”

“Dez, tell me, honestly. Do you want to save a handful? Or do you want to save them all?”

“That’s a false choice. You could have done both.”

“No—no I couldn’t have, not without raising suspic—”

I burst into the back room. “No! No more!” I shouted. Desdemona and Blue turned to me, startled. 

“Piper? What’s wrong?” Blue asked. 

“You have to be joking. I saw what you did!” I yelled, pointing at her. “Let me spell it out for you. I’m through giving you chances. I’ve been polite. I’ve been rude. But now, I’m just done. If you ever want to hear from me again, you can buy a paper like everyone else!”

Shocked, Blue glanced anxiously at Desdemona. “Piper, now’s not the...”

“Shove it, Blue. Dez! Do you have any idea what your Wanderer has done? She sent four of your escaped synths back to the Institute! Here’s proof.” I waved the video recorder in the air.

Desdemona crossed her arms. “Yes, Piper, I know. Believe me, I’m not happy about it.”

“Aha! So what are you going to do about it, huh? Disavow her? Revoke her Railroad privileges?”

“Sigh. Nothing.”

My jaw dropped. “Nothing?! What do you mean nothing?”

Blue shook her head, resigned. “You might as well tell her, Dez. Communication hasn’t been my strong suit lately.”

Desdemona turned to me. She hesitated, staring at me expectantly.

“Off the record,” I assured.

Desdemona paused to light a fresh cigarette, exhaling a steady stream of smoke. “Three months ago, when Wanderer first teleported to the Institute, I asked her to make contact with Patriot, a mole inside the Institute.”

“A mole?”

“Yes. Patriot is an Institute scientist sympathetic to our cause. He’s been helping synths escape to freedom. Dozens of synths owe him their lives. Wanderer sent an encoded message to Patriot to make contact. But there was no answer—until three weeks ago. Through Patriot, Wanderer made contact with a synth named Z1-14. He’s organizing an uprising with other synths within the Institute. They’re going to fight for their freedom.”

My jaw dropped. “Oh my God. You’re organizing a rebellion?”

“Yes, Piper. Don’t you see? This is our chance—to free all the synths. And take down the Institute in the one fell swoop.”

“Holy shit.” I removed my hat, running my fingers through my hair before putting it back on, letting the implications sink in. “When?” 

“Soon. They’re planning slowly. Building weapons, recruiting more synths, gathering resources. In the meantime, I’ve asked Wanderer to continue working with the Institute, to find out whatever she can from the inside.”

Desdemona put a hand on my shoulder. “Piper, I know how you feel. The loss of those four synths is terrible. And too many good agents lost. But if Wanderer can pull this off...if we can free all the synths, then their sacrifices will be long remembered. Everything depends on this one gambit.”

My mind reeled from these revelations. I glanced at Blue. 

“I had no idea. I’m sorry, Blue.” Blue nodded in acknowledgment but avoided eye contact. She walked past us to wait in the main room.

I turned back to Desdemona. “Dez, I’m sorry for barging in.”

“It’s alright. This is a tense time for everyone, Piper.”

“You mean Gabby, right?” Not that I cared, but I wondered why I wasn’t being called my codename.

“Gabby?” Desdemona looked puzzled.

“You know, my codename. Okay, I get that I’m a blabbermouth sometimes, but that doesn’t mean you have to rub it in.”

She scratched her head, confused. “Piper, I have no idea what you’re talking about. Your codename’s not Gabby.”

“Huh? What do you mean my codename’s not Gabby?”

“I never gave you a codename. Only full agents get codenames.”

What? Now I was the one confused. “Wait, if you didn’t give me a codename, then who…? ...Deacon! Where is that lying son of a bitch?”

Desdemona stifled a laugh, realizing what that asshole had done. “Deacon’s not here. He’s out mopping up Wanderer’s mess.”

I scoffed. “Figures. You tell that lying mole rat that Gabby’s going to kill him...” Desdemona took a drag and watched with bemusement as I stomped out.

...

Blue was sitting in the main room, waiting patiently. I sat down in the chair next to her. 

“I don’t know what to say, Blue. When I saw the recording and heard the radio broadcast, I jumped to conclusions. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I left the recorder.”

“You did? Why?”

She hesitated. “You sure you want to know? You might not like what you hear.”

I shrugged. “What the hell. I’m in deep as it is.”

Blue leaned over, resting her elbows on her knees. “The Institute thrives in the shadows. People need to see what’s happening. They need to see that the Institute is real.”

She stared into her open hands. “My hands aren’t clean, Piper. I didn’t kill those agents. But I didn’t do anything to save them. The Brotherhood and the Railroad were too busy killing each other to notice me passing by. Then the Coursers, X4-18 and X6-88, they did the rest. So I did kill them, when you get down to it.”

Blue’s voice grew bitter. “And those four synths...they were so scared. And I betrayed them. All for the greater good. Pfft. Some good that is.”

“The greater good? Blue, they’re probably getting their minds wiped now!” 

“I know, but I had to maintain cover!” Blue buried her head in her hands, regretting her defensiveness. “Shaun ordered me to capture those four synths, to reclaim his ‘property.’ I’m not proud of what I did, but I didn’t see a way to free them without raising suspicion. Sigh. This double-agent game—it’s such bullshit.”

I wasn’t sure what to make of this. I didn’t agree with her going along with whatever Shaun wanted. Blue could’ve found a way, bluffed her way out of it somehow. But there was no use second-guessing now.

“I assume the radio broadcast is also part of your cover?”

“A warning to everyone. Although admittedly I went...off-script.” 

“So now what? What do you expect me to do with this?” I gestured to the video recorder. “Sit on this story like everything else? Because I guarantee you that half the Commonwealth saw the fireworks coming out of Bunker Hill.”

“Tell them the truth.”

“The truth. That you purposely deactivated four escaping synths and sent them back to the Institute.”

“Yeah. People need to know what they’re doing. So they can decide what they’re going to do about it.”

“Huh. It’s probably going to scare people out of their minds. And it’s not going to put you in the best light.”

“I know. But the Institute’s watching. They need to think they’re winning.”

...

We exited through the Railroad’s escape tunnel into the ruins of a collapsed building in the North End. I slid down a pile of bricks and out the doorway, chasing after Blue.

When I finally caught up, I grabbed her arm. “Hey! Blue, what’s going on? What else haven’t you told me?”

She abruptly turned and put a finger to her lips. “Shhh... Not here. Too many eyes.” 

She gestured towards the sky. Rows of dead electrical wires were strung high above the road overhead. A flock of crows were perched on the wire, cawing and turning their heads every which way. I observed their movements. Their head turns and twitches had a subtle mechanical nature to them. 

One of them turned and cawed at me. I swore I saw a red light flashing from its eyes. Then the whole flock launched themselves up and away, flying off to their next perch.

“Were those...?”

“Their eyes are everywhere,” Blue confirmed. “They’ve been watching us all along.” She waved me along. “Come on. Lemme buy you a drink.”

...

The night was young, but the Third Rail was already popping. Magnolia was drop-dead gorgeous as ever, energizing the crowd with an up-tempo set. I scanned the bar, squinting through the thick haze of cigarette smoke. The usual degenerates were here drinking the night away while a motley crew of characters stirred up trouble. 

As I took in the scene, a leather-clad redhead bumped into me with a hard shoulder check.

“Ow, watch it!” I yelled.

“Bloody hell, you better watch it yourself before I beat the livin’ shite outta ya.” I groaned once I saw the former cage fighter I had run into.

Blue quickly stepped between us before things escalated. “Ahem, Cait, Piper. Piper, Cait.” 

“We’ve met,” I stated bluntly.

Cait put a hand on her hips and looked me up and down. “Oh, so you’re the one stealin’ me girl away all the time. Too bad we can’t make it a threesome.”

“Never gonna happen, Cait.” I rolled my eyes while Cait had a hearty laugh at my expense.

Blue blushed, then quickly changed the subject. “Ahem… Hey Cait, do me a favor? Gimme your gun. Come on, give it.”

Cait glared at Blue, then reluctantly pulled out a rusty pipe pistol from her waistband. Blue exchanged it for a modified revolver. “For the life of me, I can’t understand why you keep looting these junky old guns.”

“Shite, not all of us ‘ere born with a silver spoon in their mouths. Besides, I didn’t know you cared…”

Something about the way Cait looked at Blue rubbed me the wrong way. I abruptly pulled Blue towards the bar as Cait laughed again, leering at the both of us.

A raucous crowd stood between us and the bar, dancing drunkenly to Magnolia’s music. Blue tapped one of the spectators on the shoulder. He turned around and grinned when he saw who it was. 

“Hey MacCready,” Blue greeted. They exchanged a friendly hug. “How’s your son doing?”

“So much better! The serum we found saved his life. We’ve been radioing each other everyday. He misses me, but he’s doing great.”

“Oh, I’m so happy to hear that,” Blue beamed. 

They continued to swap kid stories while I pressed onward. I scanned the bar. A short-haired brunette sat on one of the stools, curiously holding up her cocktail as if to study its chemical composition. I didn’t recognize the newborn synth until Curie muttered aloud in a French accent. Nearby, a super mutant in polished armor argued with White Chapel Charlie about ordering milk. The robot bartender wouldn’t budge on his “no milk” policy, to Strong’s frustration.

That’s when I spotted Nick at the other side of the bar. His fedora tipped low over his brow, shrouding half of his grizzled face in shadow. An ashtray next to him was filled with crushed cigar and cigarette butts. In front of him were two drinks, a Gwinnett Stout and a glass of whiskey.

I walked up to him. “Hey, Nicky. Long time no see.”

“Same to you, Piper. Pull up a seat.” He pulled the stool out for me and I sat down.

“Thanks. A lot of, uh, regulars here tonight. What brings you here?”

“Nothing special. Just my regular check-up with Doctor Amari. Clean bill of health, according to her. Same prognosis from Dr. Carrington over at the Railroad. How are you?”

“Doing fine, just here with Blue. She’s making the rounds.” I motioned to Blue, who had since run into several other companions as she worked through the crowd.

“Oh, something the matter?” Nick had caught something in my inflection.

“Dammit, I forget when I’m talking to a detective. We hit a rough patch, but we’re working it out.”

“Sorry to hear that. Really. You two got a good thing going. Here, on me.” Nick slid the beer bottle to me.

“Thanks. Whatcha doing with two drinks anyway? These aren’t your usual.”

Nick tilted his head, puzzled at my obvious question. “I dunno. When I sat down, I just had the urge for a Stout and a whiskey. Couldn’t make up my mind, so I ordered both.” He lifted his whiskey glass and took a sip. “Looks like you made up my mind for me.”

“Glad I could help. Cheers, Nick.” We clinked glasses. 

Nick swallowed his whiskey in one gulp and set it down. Then he stood up and dropped a generous tip for Charlie.

“Leaving already?” I asked.

“Yeah, three’s a crowd. Don’t worry, I got a feeling you two’ll be fine. Take care of her for me.” He tipped his fedora, then disappeared into the night.

Huh, that was abrupt, I thought, but I soon forgot about it when Blue caught up with me.

“Sorry about all that,” she said. “Come on, MacCready said we can use his old office in the back.” 

...

I followed Blue to the back. She shut the door, then waved a small device around the room to check for bugs. Satisfied, she motioned for me to sit down at a table.

“Um, sorry. I didn’t expect to run into all these people here,” Blue apologized sheepishly. 

I shrugged. “No big deal. It’s nice to see our friends together for a change.” Hmm, _our friends_. I liked the sound of that. I took a moment to reflect on the strange collection of companions that Blue had gathered over the past year. 

“Yeah. They’re probably all here for the same reason we’re here. Goodneighbor is one of the only safe spaces left, away from the Institute’s eyes. I don’t mean to sound paranoid, but the Institute really does have eyes everywhere. Not just the crows and the synths, but human informants too. Caravaners especially.”

“Hmph, figures,” I said. As much as I feared for myself and Nat, I never considered trying to hide from the Institute. Part of me suspected it would have been a futile effort. Wherever I went, they would have found me anyway.

“A lot’s happened in the past two weeks. The situation keeps changing, things are moving quickly.” Blue took a deep breath. “You were right about me before, about not being able to confront Shaun. But after the Railroad made contact with Patriot, I went to see him.”

“That explains things. You go back in, offer your services, he takes you back…”

Blue rubbed the back of her neck. “Not exactly…”

“I wonder, do you think he knows about Patriot? Maybe this is some kind of trap?”

She shook her head. “I don’t think he knows. I mean, he does want the Railroad eliminated, but by more direct means… He asked me to become the new Director of the Institute.”

“What? But he’s already the Director, isn’t he?”

“He is, but...” Blue’s voice caught in her throat. “Shaun—Shaun’s dying. Some sort of cancer. The Institute, they can’t save him.”

“Oh. I—I’m sorry Blue.” I reached for her hand, and she held it in gratitude. “But you’re not going to take the job, right?”

“Um, I haven’t decided yet.”

I nearly fell off my chair. “Wha—are you crazy? You’re seriously thinking about this? Taking over the Institute?”

“I know how it sounds. But I—I’m just considering all the angles. Hypothetically speaking, what if I could change things? From the inside? Maybe I can steer them towards a more humane direction. The thing is...I’d have to wait for Shaun to, to…”

“It’s okay, you don’t have to say it, Blue. I’m so sorry, I can’t even imagine. But for argument’s sake, what if you didn’t have to wait? What if you could change things now? Have you talked to Shaun about what you want?”

Blue gazed at me, distraught. “I’ve tried, but...it’s complicated. I—I don’t know how to say this about my own son without sounding horrible, but...” 

Blue paused uncomfortably, scared of what she was about to say. “I think there’s something wrong with him. He doesn’t relate to anyone. He doesn’t seem to process emotion. Maybe he’s been leading the Institute too long, maybe leadership made him cold to other people. Or maybe they raised him like that… On purpose.”

She stood up, tears welling in her eyes. “I don’t know what’s wrong. But I can’t—connect with him. When I try to talk to him, he just dismisses me. He calls me ‘Mother,’ but he doesn’t treat me like one. Not that I expected to be close after so many years apart. But he—he talks to me like a subordinate. He’s so focused on doing things a certain way. Maybe because his time is short, so he just wants to see his plans through…” 

Her voice cracked as she fought back her tears. “The thing is, I so badly want to honor his work. His life. He’s my son, he’s the only family I have left. But what he’s doing—it’s wrong, Piper. It’s wrong. It goes against everything I believe in.”

She sat back down and wiped her eyes. “But if I oppose him, I lose him. Dammit. No matter what I do, I’m going to lose him. And there’s nothing I can do.”

“Blue…” I rubbed her back to comfort her. It was an impossible situation, no doubt. Still, my gut was troubled. The thought of taking over the Institute repulsed me. 

She read my face, which gave away my thoughts. “You don’t agree with me taking over the Institute,” she said.

“Um... I admit, it’s an approach I never considered. In theory, you could bring peace to the Commonwealth by taking advantage of their technology. I just don’t know if the ends justify the means.” Blue listened intently without judgment. “Okay, Blue, my personal feelings aside, let’s say you took this opportunity. How does the rest of the Institute feel about you taking over?”

“They don’t know my intentions. But most of them aren’t thrilled about me becoming the next Director. They resent being passed up for leadership because the Director wants his mom to take over. An obsolete lawyer with no science background whatsoever. And—I don’t blame them, frankly.”

I scratched my head. “I don’t know Blue. Changing a place like that sounds near impossible. Unethical science has been their M.O. for who knows how long? That’s not going to change overnight. And how long ’til one of them shows up at your door, with your synth replacement pointing a gun at your head?”

“Yeah, the ol’ silent coup trick. They’re already experts at pulling the strings.” She shuddered at the thought.

“What would Nate have wanted?” I blurted out another hypothetical, then worried that I might have triggered Blue by mentioning Nate. To my relief, Blue responded matter-of-factly.

“Hmm… Honestly, I don’t know. But Shaun’s his son too, so I should consider what he’d want.” 

She paused, giving the matter serious thought. “Nate and I shared the same values. But his experiences in the Army shaped his perspective. By the end of the War, he was disillusioned with the government. He thought the government was corrupt, and that they were going to destroy humanity, and he was right... He might have seen the Institute the same way. But if Shaun had convinced him that synths were machines with no free will, Nate could have seen things his way. And he’d also be reluctant to turn against our son. I—I don’t know.”

Suddenly, the door flung open, slamming against the wall. We whirled around and drew our pistols, then quickly reholstered them when we saw who it was. 

Hancock.

“Whoa! No need to kill your favorite Mayor.” Hancock stood boldly in the doorway, his velvety coat and frilly cravat lending a regal air of dignity to the former drifter. His irradiated face, permanently wrinkled and scarred from his brush with experimental chems, oozed with undeniable charm. He raised his hands high, each one clutching a large bottle of freshly-brewed moonshine.

“You mean second-least favorite Mayor,” I snapped. “Hancock! Jeez, you scared us.” 

Blue was puzzled. “How’d you get in here? I thought I locked the door.”

“What, a guy can’t have a spare key? I am the Mayor of this shithole, after all. Came to check out the party, only to learn that my favorite Vault Dweller was being a wallflower in the back.” The ghoul-in-chief took a second look at Blue. “Something’s different... Did you change your hair? And where’s your jumpsuit?”

“It’s at the cleaners,” I interjected as Blue and I sat back down. “So you thought it was your duty as an unelected leader to barge in on a private conversation.”

“Exactly!” He pulled up a chair at our table, setting down his bottles of moonshine. “The way I see it, two lovebirds such as yourselves should be having more fun in the back of a bar than just talking! Just sayin’.” 

He turned to Blue. “So why the long face, Sister?” 

We clammed up, and Blue pondered what to tell him. Finally, she asked, “Can you keep a secret?”

Hancock tossed his head. “Pssht, can I keep a secret?! You think I tell anyone all the shit you and I been up to, man?” 

He polished his grizzled fingers on his faded lapel. “Tell you what. Drink with me, and I’ll keep whatever secrets you want.” Hancock fished some drinking glasses from his pockets. “You’ll love this stuff. Finally worked out a deal with Vadim to get a shipment of this sweet, sweet nectar.”

“I wouldn’t go that far,” I countered. I steeled myself for a night of swill drinking as Blue got up and relocked the back door. Hancock poured the moonshine as Blue laid out the whole story.

...

“Lemme get this straight. Your son, who’s now older than you, runs the Institute. And his DNA, and by extension yours, was used to create all Gen-3 synths.” Hancock propped his feet on the table, then took a hit of Jet, exhaling slowly. “Well shit. And I thought my family was messed up.”

“No kidding,” Blue deadpanned as she sipped some moonshine.

Hancock ruminated over Blue’s story. Then he snapped his bony fingers. “So if your son’s the Father, then you’re like…the Grandma of all synths…”

Blue’s face fell. “No, Hancock… Not you too!”

“That’s what I said!” I exclaimed, slapping the table. Hancock and I high-fived each other over our shared realization.

“Fuck. You. Both.” Blue leapt up and wagged her finger at us, indignant.

Hancock howled with laughter. “C’mon, you’re a hot grandma! You should own that with fuckin’ pride.”

“Stop calling me a ‘hot grandma!’ Both of you!” Blue plopped back in her chair and crossed her arms, waiting impatiently for Hancock and me to stop laughing.

Hancock took a swig of moonshine and put his arm around Blue. “Sister, lemme tell you something for reals. The way I see synths, they’re just like people. You got the good ones. You got the bad ones, like that raider at Libertalia. Then you got all the ones in between. But you can’t control ‘em, man. They gotta live free, figure shit out for themselves.”

He motioned towards the door, where sweet jazz and the cheers of the crowd could be heard from the other side. “Take Magnolia, for instance. She’s hot, ain’t she? Sings beautifully. But man, I tell ya, when she first came to Goodneighbor, she was going through some bad shit. Ran away from some crazy thing at the Institute. I told her, ‘Hey, I don’t care where you came from. In Goodneighbor, you can be whoever you wanna be.’ And now look at her! She’s an artist. Everybody loves her because she gives love so freely.”

Hancock nudged Blue playfully. “You ever sleep with her?”

Blue hid behind her glass. “Who, Magnolia? Uh, no…” I lifted my own glass to my lips to avoid the question. 

Hancock smiled as he observed us sipping our drinks. “Yeah, just as well—I suppose it’d be like sleeping with your own granddaughter.”

Blue and I sprayed moonshine out of our mouths, then we doubled over coughing.

“Jeez, Hancock!” I protested. “A little warning before you drop the casual incest joke?”

Hancock shrugged. “What? There’s nothing wrong with that.”

“Are you crazy?! There’s _everything_ wrong with that!”

“C’mon, don’t be so close-minded. It’s not a big deal.” He smirked, perplexed at my moral objections.

I glanced at Blue, who was still coughing up moonshine. Blue and I looked at each other, disgusted. An unspoken agreement flashed between us. _We shall never speak of this. Ever._

When we finally recovered, Hancock resumed his commentary. “Look, my point is…synths are people. They’re your blood, ya feel me? They’re your husband’s blood too.” He patted Blue on the shoulder. “You really wanna keep your own blood locked up as slaves for the rest of their lives? It don’t matter that your son made them, or what he thinks they ought to be. He doesn’t get to control who they are. And he can’t make you do what he wants.”

Something dawned on Blue as she considered Hancock’s insights. She sighed, nodding. “I know what I have to do. It’s not going to be easy.”

Hancock patted Blue on the back. “I feel ya. Look, I’m sorry your family shit’s all messed up. I’ve been there, man—it fuckin’ sucks. If you ever need something to take the edge off, just ask.”

“Thanks, Hancock. I’m good,” Blue declined graciously.

“Cool, cool. Hey, all of Goodneighbor’s behind ya. We may be a band of drifters, mobsters, and misfits, but the Institute can’t fuck with us. Here, lemme show you.”

Hancock beckoned us to follow him outside. He borrowed the microphone from Magnolia to interrupt the party and called for everyone to gather outside. We followed the crowd out of the bar and waited beyond the entrance.

Hancock scurried back into the Statehouse, reappearing outside on a balcony draped with patriotic bunting. He called for the rest of the denizens of Goodneighbor to gather, then got distracted chatting with Daisy the shopkeeper about her love life. We waited around a few awkward moments until he remembered what he was doing.

“…What was I saying? Oh, that’s right! What matters…” Hancock waved his arms at the crowd. “We freaks gotta stick together! And the best way to stick together is to keep an eye out for what drives us apart, you feel me?”

“Yeah, you tell it like it is, Hancock!” a neighborhood watchman hollered.

“Now what out there in our big, friendly Commonwealth would want to drive us apart? What kind of twisted, un-neighborly boogeyman would want to hurt our peaceful community?” Hancock pointed to the audience for an answer.

“The Institute and their synths!” shouted a drifter.

“That's right! Who said that?” Hancock enthusiastically pointed at the drifter. “Come on up to my office, later. You’ve earned yourself some Jet... The Institute! They’re the real enemy! Not the Raiders, not the Super Mutants, not even those tools over in Diamond City…”

Halfway through his remarks, I turned around—Blue had disappeared. She had wandered down the road to the Memory Den. 

I followed after her. She stared up at the marquee sign, its neon letters buzzing and flickering in the cool evening air. There was a faraway, melancholic look in her eyes.

Back in the Square, cheers rang out as Hancock rallied the crowd. His voice soared high into the night sky, inspiring his followers with courage.

“…They can’t control us if we’re not afraid! Now who’s scared of the Institute?”

“Not us!” Daisy shouted.

“And which town in the Commonwealth should the Institute not fuck with?” Hancock asked.

“GOODNEIGHBOR!” The crowd shouted in unison.

“And who’s in charge of Goodneighbor?”

“HANCOCK!” 

“OF THE PEOPLE! FOR THE PEOPLE!” 

“OF THE PEOPLE! FOR THE PEOPLE!”

Hancock continued to rally the crowd. But Blue was unmoved by the cheers. She continued staring at the Memory Den, tears welling in her eyes. 

I walked behind Blue and circled my arms around her. She hugged me back, laying her head on my shoulder. Dampness pooled on my chest as her tears streamed silently.

“I’d give anything to be somewhere else right now,” Blue murmured. “To be someone else, in some other time. Anywhere, any time but here.”

It was a terrible feeling, losing one’s self. Having to let go of an idea of who you are. Who you thought you were. 

I held on, hoping to anchor her once more. To keep her wounded soul from being lifted away by the cries of the ravenous crowd.

...

In a hidden alleyway, a shadowy figure leaned against the brick facade and lit a cigar. He took in a long drag, then blew out series of smoke rings. He silently contemplated the scenes unfolding before him, observing the defiance of the crowd and the couple standing near the Memory Den.

“Back to business,” he growled. Shaking his head, he dropped his cigar and sauntered off. The spent cigar bounced off the body of a dead drifter who had the misfortune of crossing his path.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’d like to give a special shout-out to @falloutfandomeventhub on tumblr for hosting a fun #Celebradiation event back in July. Inspired by my giftee’s request, I wrote this [short fic](https://velvet-helvetica.tumblr.com/post/625172819496550400/fireworks-in-goodneighbor), which helped me get inside Hancock’s character and think about Goodneighbor’s role as an Institute-free space.
> 
> I have too many other random thoughts about this chapter, so I will post those on tumblr ([@velvet-helvetica](https://velvet-helvetica.tumblr.com/post/631028229685362688/show-chapter-archive)) so as not to overwhelm the notes with my endless blathering.
> 
> I’m on track to post Ch. 36 in two weeks (Oct 17-18) and I’m feeling pretty good so far about my progress on upcoming chapters. As always, thank you for reading!


	36. For Love and Glory

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Spoilers for the Fallout 4 main quest ending in the chapters ahead. There are also some canon deviations, which I’ll get into in the endnotes. Onward!

_Three weeks later..._

Here I was. Trapped in the Institute. About to die.

The courser threw me across the room. I smashed against the wall and clattered onto the floor.

The courser picked up a fire extinguisher, gripping it from both ends. He closed in, raising the fire extinguisher high over his head, his piercing red eyes staring coldly at me.

What a way to go, I thought. How did I end up like this? How could things have turned out this way? 

I awaited the inevitable as recent events flashed before my eyes...

...

_Two days earlier..._

“Dez! I fucked up.”

Blue had burst into Railroad HQ in a panic. She had radioed me to meet her there—something bad had happened.

“Slow down, Wanderer. What is it?”

“The Institute—they’ve locked me out. I can’t get back in. Shit, it’s all my fault. I lost control.”

“What happened?”

“The Institute sent coursers to recruit a scientist from the surface. The Minutemen found out—they were there when I tried to bring him in. I couldn’t convince them to stand down. Then all hell broke loose. And now this.”

Blue twisted her arm to show the Relay chip in her Pip Boy. A tiny monitor that normally showed the frequency for the Classical radio station was dead. “I can’t access the Relay anymore.”

Desdemona was deeply disappointed. “God dammit. We know the whole operation was a long shot. I’m sure you did your best. But this complicates things...”

A giant rumble shook the crypt. Everyone turned towards the escape tunnel, where we heard the sounds of heavy boots and Gatling lasers.

“...We’ve got a bigger problem. The Brotherhood are here!” 

KABOOM! Bricks sailed in from the back hallway, one narrowly missing my head. Cloaked behind a plume of dust, Brotherhood knights in Power Armor poured in through the escape tunnel. 

Desdemona shouted orders amidst the chaos. “Everyone, mobilize! We got Brotherhood incoming. Assume defensive positions. Reinforce Glory in the tunnels. Move, move.”

Railroad agents scrambled into action, and a vicious firefight broke out. I took cover behind a sarcophagus with a few agents. A flurry of lasers whizzed by us. I jumped as one agent suddenly fell dead beside me, shot in the head. I fired blindly at the tunnel opening, picking off as many soldiers as I could, desperate to stop them from overwhelming the base. 

It took several agonizing minutes to stem the tide. I had lost track of Blue in the melee. But once there was an opening, Blue, Deacon, and Drummer Boy rushed into the hallway to push back the last intruders. 

“Look out!” Drummer Boy pulled Blue back just as reached the door to the escape tunnel. The ground shook, and we doubled back before a pile of rubble collapsed into the hallway, blocking the door.

Tinker Tom darted into the hallway to assess the damage. “Shit. The escape tunnel’s history. No one’s coming in or out that way.”

We went back inside HQ to tell Desdemona the bad news. She swore angrily. “We’re cut off. The catacombs are now our only way out.”

“Bad news. Brotherhood’s in the catacombs,” Drummer Boy reported. Beyond the steps, we heard rapid gunfire and shouting. “Glory’s leading our agents to hold them off. Don’t know how long they can hold out, though.”

Blue took the opportunity to reload her weapons. “I’ll back up Glory,” she said. “Deacon, Piper, come with me. The rest of you—dig in.”

...

We raced up the steps into the gloomy catacombs and immediately dove for cover. A spiraling swarm of laser beams filled the corridor. 

“Time to die!” Brotherhood soldiers taunted. Throughout the assault, we heard blood curdled screams from Railroad agents ruthlessly cut down by the Brotherhood.

We ducked down for what seemed like an eternity, waiting for an opening. I grew impatient and anxious. Agents were dying, and here we were, sitting ducks. 

Something small ricocheted across the cobblestone floor, and then there was a blinding flash. The tunnel grew dim as it filled with smoke. We covered our eyes and mouths, but I coughed uncontrollably. Heavy footsteps drew closer, advancing their position towards us. 

“Take her down!” shouted a knight, but soon after the knight screamed in pain and died. More soldiers shouted orders to attack. Then a cacophony of lasers drowned out their voices, silencing them permanently.

I poked up my head, peering through dense fog. Through the darkness, a glint of light reflected off the jagged teeth of a ferocious minigun. A lone figure stepped into the light. 

Glory.

Glory stood in the center of the tunnel, gripping her shredder minigun, unyielding. Their jaws of death spun into a swirling cyclone of razor blades, tearing through the swath of Brotherhood soldiers.

“Not one more!” Glory shouted, then she roared a warrior’s cry. She marched forward, resolute, filling the tunnel with hot metal death, a dozen more soldiers falling victim to her wrath.

Then she cried out—a laser beam had pierced through her chest.

“GLORY!” Blue shouted.

Glory stood her ground and kept shooting. Two more Brotherhood soldiers fell. Then more laser beams sliced through her. She fell to her knees but kept firing, aiming the minigun with one arm. When the last soldier died, the tunnel fell silent. Then Glory collapsed to the ground.

Blue and Deacon ran to Glory. Blue cradled her head as Deacon tended to her wounds. 

“None of them got past me,” Glory beamed proudly, before spitting up blood. “Damn…that stings…”

Deacon worked frantically injecting stimpaks. “Shit, she’s bleeding out. Put pressure on it... We need more stimpaks, dammit!” Blue and I applied pressure to her wounds, but it was a losing battle. There was too much blood.

Glory turned to Blue. “Listen, the Railroad’s always sitting on its hands… Ahhh… You’re the best thing that’s ever happened.” Then Glory turned to Deacon. “And you—you always were an asshole, Deacon.”

“C’mon, keep applying pressure,” Deacon said, ignoring the insult. “You’re not going down today, Glory. Not like this.”

Glory smiled weakly. “Promise me you’ll free them. All of them.”

“You’re going to free them with me,” Blue replied.

“Bullshit...” She pulled Blue closer. “Promise me.”

Blue gazed at her, then nodded meekly, conceding the inevitable. “I promise.” 

Glory smiled again, then laid her head back in Blue’s arms. “Tell them I didn't die as G7-81. Tell them I died free. If anyone…” Then she stared into the distance. “Isn’t there… isn’t there supposed to be a light?”

“Glory! Glory, listen to me...” Blue whispered in her ear, but Glory fell limp in her arms. Blue laid her body on the ground. She wiped away her tears, smearing Glory’s blood across her forehead.

Deacon sat in the dirt, shaken. “Dammit Glory,” he lamented.

“I’m sorry, Blue,” I consoled.

Something stirred further down the tunnel. Deacon stood, gritting his teeth. “More Brotherhood assholes incoming,” he said. 

We took cover again behind the walls. Deacon hurriedly salvaged weapons and ammo from the nearby dead and took stock of our supplies.

“Railguns, some pulse grenades, molotovs, our sidearms...that’s it,” Deacon sighed. “We don’t have any heavy weapons except Glory’s shredder, and it’s only got a couple of drums left. There are missile launchers on the roof, but we can’t reach them from here. And we don’t know how many more jarheads are inside the church.”

“How do we play this, Blue?” I asked.

Blue scratched her head. “The play... We could do the old ‘Tunnel of Love’ play.” She made an exploding gesture with her hands and face. “Clear a path, sneak upstairs, and take the high road. Get the drop on their advance team.”

“‘Tunnel of Love’ play?” Deacon scoffed. “I'm afraid to ask.”

“Don't worry about it, Deac.” I slapped him on the back. “Just take these molotovs and toss ‘em when we give the signal.”

“Whatever you say, Gabs.”

“Don’t get me started...”

“Not now, Piper!” Blue admonished. 

We loaded up, then scurried through the tunnels, ducking down when we spotted more soldiers.

I lit my molotov and kissed it. “For love...”

Blue lit hers. “...and Glory.”

...

We entered the church, gingerly tiptoeing over the bodies of several Railroad agents who were guarding the door. An advance team of twenty Brotherhood milled about in the nave and above us in the balcony.

“Oh jeez, there’s a lot of them,” Deacon whispered. “Okay, you two sneak upstairs. I’ll get their attention. When you see the sign, start lobbing the EMPs.”

Blue and I kept our heads down and made our way up the ramp. Meanwhile, Deacon ducked into the broken pulpit, lugging Glory’s minigun inside. 

The soldiers upstairs hadn’t spotted us yet. We kept our heads down, waiting for a sign.

Deacon rose from the pulpit, and all the Brotherhood turned to him. Unfazed, he delivered his sermon:

> “Yea, your suffering shall exist no longer;   
>  it shall be washed away in Atom’s Glow,   
>  burned from you in the fire of his brilliance.   
>  Each of us shall give birth to a billion stars formed   
>  from the mass of our wretched and filthy bodies.”

His sermon concluded, Deacon kicked open a wood panel from the pulpit, revealing the sharpened teeth of Glory’s minigun. The barrels spun and fired at the Brotherhood in the nave, tearing apart the faithless caught in between the pew boxes. 

We took a wild guess that was the sign. Blue and I tossed our pulse grenades into the nave before the Brotherhood could return fire. The EMPs shorted out the knights’ Power Armor and fried the circuits in their laser rifles. The unexpected disruption gave Deacon more time to pick apart his targets.

By now, the Brotherhood in the upper levels had spotted us. Blue and I darted and weaved through the balcony, taking out each intruder. I lobbed my last pulse grenade at a group nested near the organ, then charged at them with my railgun to finish them off. Blue backed me up, then turned her rifle on the nave, sniping the rest of the nonbelievers.

Before we could regroup, a gust of wind blasted into the church from the open rooftop. A dozen ropes dropped down from the hole in the roof. The daylight streaming into the church dimmed as a black vertibird hovered overhead. A dozen more Brotherhood rappelled into the nave, guns blazing. 

Blue retreated further back along the railing to avoid the assault. I dove behind the organ for cover. Their gunshots pinged the organ pipes in a death melody. 

Glory’s minigun was spent. Deacon dove off the pulpit, which exploded into a cloud of splinters. He retreated behind its base and swore loudly at being pinned down.

Deacon got off a few shots with his spare railgun. “I’m going after the ‘bird. Cover me!”

Deacon zigzagged through the maze of pew boxes, picking his shots. Blue continued to snipe away, nabbing several knights with her gauss rifle. I killed a few more and drew the attention of the rest, distracting them long enough for Deacon to move past them. He disappeared behind a door to the church steeple. 

Blue and I took care of the rest of the advance crew. Then out of nowhere, a Star Paladin dropped in from the roof. Foregoing the rope, the Paladin landed smack in the middle of the nave with an earthshaking thud and sprayed the balcony with a terrifyingly large laser Gatling gun. 

“Shit!” Blue shouted. She ducked down and retreated further, leaping across the choir to the other side of the balcony. The Paladin’s Gatling lasers followed hot behind her.

“Death to all traitors!” the Star Paladin roared. Fuck, all of the Brotherhood had her number. 

From cover, I shot at the Paladin’s back. Incredibly, the hot railroad spikes deflected off the Star Paladin’s reinforced Power Armor. The Star Paladin turned his Gatling laser towards me. The lasers punctured into the middle of the organ, melting holes straight through the organ pipes. I backed away, hiding behind its right side. But no place was safe.

From the other side, Blue scurried towards the front of the church and popped above the railing, firing again to draw back his attention. More lasers tore through the rotted wood paneling like paper. Blue dashed ahead to the left side of the organ, stopping short of the break in the floor that separated us. She glanced at me across the way, her face grim. We were trapped.

I looked up. High above through the church skylight, a missile zipped across the blue sky. I heard an explosion. 

The open rooftop dimmed again. Then it grew dark, then pitch black. The Star Paladin stopped shooting and looked up. He screamed.

“Look out!” Blue leapt across the chasm and caught me as the floor beneath me gave way. The organ shielded us from flying debris as we slid down the back of it to the ground floor.

A deafening crash cascaded down from the roof to the middle of the floor, where the hapless Star Paladin once stood. The whole church shook like an earthquake, and wood timbers, shrapnel, and debris flew all around us.

Smoke filled the air. When the noise finally died down, we looked around. The nave was nothing but a blackened mess of twisted steel and burning timbers. There was no sign of the Star Paladin or any surviving crew.

“You okay?” Blue asked.

“Yeah. You?” I asked, still dazed. Blue nodded. She helped me up. We were covered in dust and soot from head to toe. 

The balcony swayed above us, on the verge of collapse. Several support beams had been knocked out by the crash. Remembering Deacon, we retreated into the church lobby and hurried upstairs to the steeple. 

At the top, Deacon stood triumphant, admiring his handiwork with a missile launcher perched on his shoulder. There was hardly any roof left to speak of on the Old North Church. Now, it was a gaping hole filled with black smoke emanating from the wreckage of the smoldering vertibird.

“And that’s how you preach to the Brotherhood,” Deacon proclaimed.

…

  
When the smoke and fire died down, we spiraled down the staircase from the steeple to the ground floor. Desdemona, Doc Carrington, P.A.M., and Tinker Tom had emerged from the catacombs to survey the destruction.

“What the hell happened here?” Desdemona asked.

“Deacon hath bestowed his wrath upon the Brotherhood,” Blue said, gesturing to a proud Deacon and his divine missile launcher.

Tinker Tom eyed Deacon, impressed. “Amen to that, Brother. But what I want to know is how the hell did they find us? Where’d they get their intel?”

“Maybe they followed the Freedom Trail?” I speculated.

Tinker Tom shook his head vigorously. “No way! Only people from Outside who know this place are escaping synths and you two. I’ve had my eyes on the Freedom Trail this whole time. Nobody from the Brotherhood’s tried to follow it.”

“Could someone from the Institute have tipped them off?” Blue asked.

“The Brotherhood would never accept help from the Institute,” Desdemona responded.

“Not knowingly,” Blue said, “But maybe the Institute leaked it to them somehow. I got locked out right before the attack. It can’t be a coincidence.”

“And now you’re their Public Enemy number one,” I added.

Desdemona grew impatient. “Does it matter now? You’re still standing. I wish the same could be said for Glory. No time for that, though. The Brotherhood underestimated us badly. Their next attack will be far, far worse.”

Pondering her next move, Desdemona lit a cigarette, then exhaled a long stream of smoke. “So we do the unexpected. We eliminate the Brotherhood as a threat. Now.”

“Eliminate them now? How?” Blue asked.

“We’re activating Operation Red Glare,” said Desdemona.

“What?” Tom exclaimed. “But Red Glare requires a Brotherhood vertibird.”

“Then Wanderer will get you one. Tom, you’re going with her.”

Tom did a double-take. “Me? In the field?”

“No one else can fly the damn thing,” Desdemona replied coolly. 

Deacon stepped in. “Whoa, whoa, whoa. Boss, look, I get it. We’re all hurting. I’m beyond outraged over what happened to Glory and her team. But we can’t just retaliate without a plan.”

“We have a plan,” Desdemona insisted. “This isn’t about revenge. This is about self-preservation.” She pointed her cigarette at Deacon’s chest. “If we don't eliminate them now, the Railroad won't survive.”

“But we don’t even have an HQ to run anything, Dez!” Deacon countered. “Hell, we got a fucking vertibird crashed in the middle of the church! We need to regroup.”

“We don’t have time! The Brotherhood will be back and they will bring the full weight of their forces upon us.”

“Exactly!” Deacon exclaimed. “They could be back at any minute. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to be here when they do.”

The robot strategist approached us, the gears whirring within her computerized brain. “I calculate a 92.7% probability of a Brotherhood counterattack in the next 12 hours,” P.A.M. computed with detached efficiency.

“Deacon’s right,” argued Blue. “Even if we go after them now, the Brotherhood can still attack here at any moment. We need to evacuate.”

“Evacuate where?” Doctor Carrington approached Blue, irritated. “We’ve been losing safe houses left and right. The only ones left are Jamaica Plain and Mercer, and they’re too small and exposed for us to set up a permanent HQ. If we still had Bunker Hill…”

“That train has left the station,” Blue said.

“Yeah no thanks to you, Wanderer,” he scoffed. ”And thanks to you, your gamble to foment a rebellion at the Institute is also a bust.” Carrington waved around at the carnage in the room, at the charred bodies of agents and Brotherhood alike. “All these agents…dead! We’re worse off than before.”

“Worse than before?!” I interrupted. “The way I see it, things were going downhill since before we joined up. Look, Blue did some shitty things with the Institute, but at least she was trying.” Blue raised an eyebrow but said nothing.

I stared down the broken remnants of the Railroad. “You know what—Glory was right. You’ve just been sitting on your hands this whole time. Playing cloak and dagger with synths’ lives while the rest of the Commonwealth suffered.” 

“How dare you!” Carrington yelled. “What do you know? You’re not an agent! You’re not one of us.”

To my surprise, Deacon stepped up. “Hey, Gabby here knew enough to not rat us out this whole time. She could’ve sold a lot more papers if she did. And she got us plenty of dirt on the Brotherhood. That makes her more than one of us in my book.”

Blue walked up to the Doctor. “No, you’re right, Doc. I brought this onto your house. So now I’m going to offer mine.”

She turned to Desdemona. “Come to the Castle. The Minutemen have members all throughout the Commonwealth. It’s going to take an army to free the synths in the Institute, and we have that army. If we act now, we might still have a chance to save them.”

“Save them?” Tinker Tom exclaimed. “How are we even going to get back in? They locked you out, remember?”

Blue replied, “Tom, you still have a copy of the data from the Institute that Sturges shared with you. If you put your heads together, do you think you can find us another way in?”

Tinker Tom shrugged. “Hmm... It’s a long shot, but so is this whole operation.”

“And what about the Brotherhood?” asked Desdemona.

Blue rubbed the back of her neck. “Sigh. We have to deal with them. I’m on their shit list now. It’s only a matter of time before they try something with the Minutemen too.”

Desdemona took another long drag from her cigarette. “So it’s war. P.A.M., do you have anything to add?”

“Wanderer’s assessment is correct. Without Minutemen assistance, the Railroad’s chances of survival against Institute and Brotherhood forces are 300 to 1. With the Minutemen, our odds improve to 24 to 1.”

Desdemona nodded reluctantly. “Still not great odds, but better than the alternative. Sigh. I fear our fate, and the fate of all the synths, lies with the Minutemen now.” 

She dropped her cigarette on the blackened rubble, resigned. “Give the order to evacuate. Have our field agents report in at 0800. Doc and P.A.M., Drummer Boy will escort you and our remaining agents to Mercer Safehouse to set up a temporary base of operations. Myself, Deacon, and Tom will go to the Castle to coordinate with the Minutemen.”

…

When we arrived at the Castle, klaxon alarms sounded in the courtyard. Blue’s Pip Boy radio crackled loudly. 

_“Alert. Brotherhood vertibirds converging on the Castle.”_

Colonel Shaw and Preston barked orders at the Minutemen and settlers as they scurried about, taking up arms and moving to defend the fortress.

The five of us climbed up the north wall facing Boston Airport and peered out to the distance. Over a dozen Brotherhood vertibirds were closing in.

“Oh no. They’re already here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s the beginning of the end! (dun dun dun) There will be canon deviations, as I’ll be mashing together bits from the faction endings. But hopefully, the scenes will still feel familiar.
> 
> Deacon’s sermon is a quote from Confessor Cromwell, the “Prophet of Atom” in Fallout 3 (https://fallout.fandom.com/wiki/Cromwell). Also, I couldn’t resist adding the _Aliens_ movie reference for Glory’s dying insult, which mirrors another _Aliens_ reference in one of her first words to Blue.
> 
> Next chapter will post Halloween weekend. Thanks for reading!


	37. Brothers in Arms

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Warning, this chapter is much more dialogue-heavy than usual. So strap in...

“Here they come!” 

Preston sprinted past us, grabbing our elbows and pulling us towards the nearest parapet. Blue and I huddled beneath an artillery gun with several other Minutemen, while our Railroad companions scattered to assist other troops.

“Brotherhood ‘birds incoming!” Colonel Shaw shouted at the sentries stationed along the walls. “Take cover, and get ready for the fight of your lives!”

“Ready the missile launchers!” Blue ordered as lieutenants distributed weapons from nearby supply chests and relayed her commands throughout the Castle. “Stay down and wait for your shot. We gotta get as many ‘birds out of the sky before they reach us!”

“Look alive, here they come!” Colonel Shaw bristled.

The first flight of vertibirds approached. Their miniguns fired large-caliber lancets at the Castle, punching divots into the newly-rebuilt concrete wall. Stray bullets tore through a couple of Minutemen caught out of cover.

The Castle’s turrets returned fire, but the vertibirds were too far out of range. Blue shouldered a missile launcher and fired at the nearest vertibird, clipping its side. Another soldier fired a missile that found its mark, and the vertibird exploded in mid-air. Others followed suit—two more vertibirds met their doom from missile fire.

The last vertibird in the flight broke through. Brotherhood troops leapt from the cabin, landed near the shoreline, and immediately charged the Castle walls with guns blazing. 

“Short controlled bursts!” Preston shouted as he directed troops to fight the Brotherhood attacking from all directions. The Castle turrets made short work of the unarmored Initiates, but the knights in Power Armor proved formidable as they let loose their Gatling lasers.

More flights of vertibirds arrived—too many for the Minutemen to take down all at once. They deployed their troops before circling above the Castle like a pack of buzzards. A dozen Minutemen died in the Castle before the ‘birds were finally brought down.

The Castle stubbornly defied the Brotherhood’s assault. Laser and machine gun turrets automatically tracked the knights charging the Castle walls. Patrols scrambled to fight off any intruders who slipped by.

The assault lasted a half-hour, each minute terrifyingly tense. Suddenly without explanation, the Brotherhood radios sent out an alert. 

_“All units retreat! Repeat—all units retreat! Return to base!”_

The vertibirds made an abrupt U-turn and flew back to the Prydwen. The Minutemen took out the remaining invaders left behind.

“They’re buggin’ out! Yeah!” Cheers rang out around the fortress walls. But the revelry was soon cut short when laser beams pierced through several soldiers, shot dead from behind.

“They’re still attacking! Those bastards!”

“No, it’s coming from inside! Look!”

An army of synths and coursers had materialized out of nowhere in the middle of the courtyard. They fanned out throughout the complex, catching the Minutemen off-guard.

“Come on, people, move!” Preston ordered. 

“They’re moving too fast! We can’t track them!”

“Reposition those turrets! Hurry!” Blue commanded troops to reorient some turrets to corral the intruders within. 

The chaotic fighting inside continued. Several more Minutemen fell, but eventually they chipped away at the synths. Soon only two coursers remained, but they were the most difficult to defeat. They used their stealth devices to evade and harass the Minutemen. A dozen more were killed before one of them was cornered and killed. 

The last courser eluded everybody. Then finally, someone spotted him up high. 

“Get him before he takes out the radio tower!”

The courser’s stealth field glitched in and out as he sniped the soldiers below. The courser attempted to plant an explosive on the radio tower before Blue got the last shot. The courser fell 100 feet to his death, landing broken in the middle of the bloodied courtyard.

...

“First the Brotherhood. Now the Institute?”

Desdemona swore loudly and slammed her fist on Blue’s desk inside the General’s office, where the Railroad and Minutemen senior leadership had gathered. We were still nursing our battle wounds, and tensions were high. Desdemona, Deacon, Preston, Blue, and I gathered around Blue’s desk, while Tinker Tom and Sturges poured through the Institute data.

“I’m afraid the Institute was just testing us,” Blue said. “They deliberately teleported inside the Castle to prove a point. No one can hide from them anywhere. And now they’re taking the fight to the surface.”

“Our agents are reporting in from all over,” Desdemona continued. “It’s all-out war, everywhere. The Brotherhood are attacking Institute synths, while raiders, gunners, and super mutants are taking advantage of the chaos by looting and raiding settlements. Too many civilians and agents are getting caught in the crossfire. If this keeps up any longer, our agents will have to go to ground to ride out the fighting. Then we’ll lose what little manpower we have left.” She paused to light a cigarette, exhaling in frustration.

“The Minutemen can’t sustain a prolonged conflict either,” Preston added. “We may have the numbers and the territory, but we can’t allow things to spiral out of control. Civilian casualties throughout the Commonwealth will be immense.”

Blue eyed the map on her desk. “Two enemies. And we can’t get to the Institute, while the Brotherhood is right across our backyard.” She tapped on Boston Airport. “The Brotherhood’s fighting a war on all fronts. Their leadership and operations are centralized in one location, so they’re vulnerable. The sooner we take them off the board, the better.”

“Then the choice is clear,” Desdemona declared. “We have to destroy the Brotherhood. And the key to that is destroying their flying fortress: the Prydwen. We must activate Operation Red Glare now!” Tinker Tom glanced over nervously, acutely aware of his role in that operation.

Deacon objected. “Dez, that’s a suicide mission! Hijacking a vertibird is one thing. But flying into the heart of that airship, planting bombs inside, and flying back out? It’s a guaranteed one-way trip to Hell. Any agents who take on that mission aren’t coming back.”

“I agree, it’s too risky,” Blue said.

Preston stepped in. “We have our own contingency plan. Operation Deliverant Phoenix. We can take that airship down with these.” He motioned everybody to the hallway and pointed through a window at one of the artillery guns mounted on a parapet. 

Desdemona scoffed. “Those guns are ancient. The Castle can’t take out that airship with those.”

“No, not by ourselves,” Preston acknowledged. “But if we launch a coordinated attack, across multiple settlements...” 

“Other settlements have artillery guns? How many?”

“All of them.” Preston approached the map and pointed at the array of markers denoting Minutemen-allied settlements. “Over 20 strong. We can target it from multiple directions, to overwhelm their defenses. They won’t have time to take evasive action. Look, with our powers combined, we can take down that airship easily. With any luck, that will be the end of the Brotherhood in the Commonwealth.”

Desdemona took a drag, pondering Preston’s plan. “That could work. But you better believe that the survivors will launch a fierce counterattack at the Castle.”

“Colonel Shaw is already leading the effort to rebuild our defenses,” Preston replied. “And we’ll call in every available Minuteman in the area. We’ll be ready for them.”

“Good. Preston, you’re in charge of the Brotherhood operation.” Preston looked at Blue, surprised at being given command of the Castle and its army.

“And what do we do about the Institute?” Deacon asked. “We can’t fend them off if they keep teleporting inside settlements.”

Desdemona turned to Blue. “Wanderer, in your last report, didn’t you say the Institute was building a new nuclear reactor?” 

Blue nodded. “Yes, they are. They’re working towards energy independence. They sent me and a scientist to swipe a beryllium agitator to power up their new reactor.” 

Tinker Tom chimed in. “Hmm. We could rig a Fusion Pulse Charge to take out the reactor and anything else within a few hundred yards of it. I’ll get that ready for you.”

“Yes,” Desdomona agreed. “We get you down there, you plant it, and we run like hell. When we get to a safe distance, we detonate it remotely. Then the whole Institute goes up like a candle. And the synths stay free. Forever.”

Blue frowned at the proposal. “Destroying the Institute? Is that absolutely necessary?”

Desdemona nodded. “P.A.M. believes their destruction is absolutely necessary. Remember, under your son’s watch, the Institute has committed many atrocities.”

”What about the people inside the Institute?” I asked. “Or outside for that matter? Won’t people within the blast zone be killed?”

Deacon dismissed my concerns. “Nobody’s living around the C.I.T. ruins except for a bunch of super mutants, raiders, and mercs. They won’t be missed.”

“That’s rather callous of you,” I retorted. “And what about the people inside? They’re not just a bunch of diabolical scientists. Families live there. Children.”

“We’re going to evacuate more than just synths,” Desdemona assured. “But those who can’t or won’t evacuate will die. It’s something each one of us must come to terms with.”

“Okay, but how exactly are we going to get into the Institute?” Deacon asked. “Wanderer’s still locked out, last I checked.”

Sturges stepped over to the desk. “I have some good news for you. I found a way into the Institute.” 

He pointed to a river on the map. “One of the things in the data you stole was a plan of the whole Institute complex—including the older sections that used to be part of C.I.T. Turns out they’re still using an old water pipe that runs out to the river. Brings in cooling water to their reactor. Its entrance is underwater and is blocked by a security grate. Also, the whole pipe is labeled ‘high radiation danger.’ But there isn’t any other way in that we can find, so it’s this or nothing.”

“One person can slip inside unnoticed,” Desdemona said.

Deacon shook his head, exasperated. “This plan is crazier than Operation Red Glare. The question remains, how do we assault the Institute? Even with the Minutemen’s help, we don’t have the manpower to defend ourselves from the Brotherhood _and_ the Institute _and_ free their synths.”

Blue rubbed her chin. “We no longer have the manpower out here, but we still have manpower inside. If we hurry, we can still make contact with Z1-14 and his rebellion.”

“Even with synth allies, is that enough to fight the Institute?” I asked.

Desdemona nodded. “The synths greatly outnumber the scientists. If enough of them rebel, the chaos would be unprecedented. Once you break in, you let in a strike team through the Relay to assist. Then we use that turmoil to evacuate everyone we can.”

Deacon reeled at the magnitude of the proposed plan. “Okay. Just to be clear, we’re talking about attacking both the Institute and the Brotherhood—at the same time. Why is this not crazy?”

“We’re confident we can take the Brotherhood out now,” Blue answered. “We’ll use the Brotherhood attack as a diversion while we infiltrate the Institute. But as soon as the Brotherhood goes down, the Institute will rush in to fill the power vacuum. We can’t let that happen.”

Deacon tossed his hands. “Okay, so not crazy at all. Got it.”

Blue studied the map again. “That river entrance is far. It’ll take at least a day on foot. And with war on the streets, it’ll be hell getting there.”

“Perhaps we can use that vertibird after all,” said Desdemona. “Tom, Deacon, how soon can you get one?”

“Give us a couple hours to grab the ‘bird from Cambridge Station,” Deacon said. “We’ll need some Minutemen reinforcements to take the station, if you can spare them.” Blue nodded, handing him a signal flare.

“Then it’s settled.” Desdemona dropped her cigarette and stamped it out with her foot. “Our strike team will be awaiting transport at Mercer Safehouse. Send anybody you can spare to meet our agents there. In the meantime, Tom and Deacon will fly Wanderer to the entry point. Then you’ll infiltrate the Institute, make contact with Z1-14, and teleport our strike team inside.” 

“Wait. What about the squires?” I asked.

“Squires? What squires?” Desdemona questioned.

“The child squires. They’re apprentices of the Knights. Maxson brought them here to train them in the field. I wrote about them in the paper before I was kicked out.”

“For Atom’s sake… You’re saying he’s using these children as human shields?”

“No, they’re soldiers in training,” I replied.

“Start ‘em off young, eh, Maxie?” quipped Deacon.

Desdemona scowled. “If he’s training them as soldiers, then as far as I’m concerned, they’re enemy combatants. We have a right to attack them.”

“But they’re still children!” I objected. “We can’t attack the Prydwen with them on board!”

“And what do you suggest we do?” Desdemona argued. “Ask them to offload their squires before we attack? Once we tip them off, they’ll come after us!”

”International humanitarian law does not prohibit the targeting of child soldiers,” Blue replied matter-of-factly. “Those who participate in hostilities are considered legitimate targets. Child soldiers included.”

“But that’s pre-War law,” I said. ”We don’t have to follow that.”

“This is absurd!” Desdemona fumed. “They attacked first! Glory, our agents, and the Minutemen have paid the price. We must defend ourselves!”

Preston nodded sternly. “There will be casualties—collateral damage. But we have no choice. The Brotherhood poses too big a threat to us and the Commonwealth.”

“I can’t believe I’m hearing this,” I protested.

Blue was somber but firm. “The Brotherhood are an imminent threat to the Minutemen, and we have an inherent right of self-defense. Elder Maxson invaded the Commonwealth to engage in hostilities. He put all his troops in the line of fire when he brought them here on the Prydwen. Therefore, _he_ is responsible for the lives of all the soldiers he brought with him on his crusade. Squires included.” 

Blue made up her mind. “We attack in two hours. Operation Deliverant Phoenix is a go. Dismissed.” 

...

Everyone filed out of her office to begin their assignments while I stayed behind. Seething, I grabbed her arm. 

“They’re kids, Blue. I don’t understand how you think quoting outdated legal precedents and blaming Maxson makes this okay.”

Blue hung her head and sighed, remorseful. “It doesn’t. It really doesn’t.” 

I shook my head, deeply disappointed in her decision. Before I could say another word, there was a knock at the door.

“General, a word?” 

“Sorry, Piper, we’ll have to discuss this later.” Blue excused herself and met Preston at the doorway.

“General, thank you for putting me in command of the Castle.”

She waved his thanks away. “I trust you with my life, Preston. I can’t think of anyone else who can do this.”

“That's what I came to talk to you about. It’s just…” He trailed off, uncertain. “The Minutemen haven’t mounted an offensive on this scale in a long time. I’m not sure if I can pull this off.”

Blue clapped his back. “Come on Preston. With the exception of Shaw, you have the most military experience of all the Minutemen. You’ve led soldiers into battle countless times. Yes, nobody’s ever taken on both the Brotherhood and the Institute at once. But if I had to put all my caps on who to lead the charge, I’d pick you every time.”

Preston was astonished by Blue’s unwavering confidence. “Thank you, General. That’s very gracious of you to say.”

“I’m not just saying it,” Blue insisted. “This isn’t like Quincy. We have territory and numbers on our side. Despite all their technological might, the Brotherhood are not as strong as they think.”

She gripped his shoulders and looked him in the eye. “I believe in you. I know you can do this. But you don’t need me to believe in you. The Minutemen have been following you. You’ve been leading us all along.”

Preston swallowed hard, visibly moved by Blue’s words. “I won’t let you down, General.”

She pulled him into a reassuring hug. “It’s going to be okay, Preston.”

Preston hugged her back. “I was going to say the same for you, General.”

Taken aback, Blue blinked away tears. “Thanks. I hope so.”

...

One more hour before the operation was to begin. I took a walk around the Castle, helping out with repairs and tending to the wounded. I stocked up on supplies and ammo. Even though the plan was ethically questionable, my allegiance was to the people of the Commonwealth. And to Blue.

I returned to Blue’s office. I stopped outside when I noticed she had another visitor, who had just arrived after receiving a request to help with the coming battle. 

“Hey, Kid. How you holding up?”

Blue looked up from her preparations at the synth detective. “Oh you know. Just another day at the office, trying to blow up the Brotherhood and the Institute. Haven’t seen you in a while.”

Nick chuckled. “Listen, I know I haven’t been around much since we wrapped up that business with Eddie Winter. I guess I wanted to give you your space. But for what it’s worth, I think you’re doing the right thing with the Institute.”

Blue paused anxiously. “Am I? I feel like I’m about to commit a horrible mistake. That I’m betraying not only Shaun, but Nate by doing this.”

“Why do you think you’re betraying Nate?”

“Because I’m about to destroy what’s left of our family. He believed that everything we do no matter how hard…”

“…We do it for our family,” Nick finished. “You still love your son, even if what he’s doing is wrong.”

“Yes. A part of me still hopes I can save him. Make him see reason. But we disagree about everything. Shaun believes in control. And he doesn’t believe synths have free will.” 

Nick nodded. “If I wasn’t a synth myself, maybe I’d have second thoughts. But I know the score. This isn’t an easy decision, choosing strangers over family. Can’t tell you how many times I wish I could have saved the ones I loved. Even though I know they weren’t mine to save.”

“Like your—Nick’s fiancée, Jennifer,” Blue said.

“…Yeah, like Jennifer.” Nick’s voice faltered at the memory. “The fact is, Shaun was lost long ago, when the Institute stole him from you. But his legacy will live on through his creations. Gen-3 synths. A new form of life. Even if we don’t agree with his methods, you have to admit that’s an incredible feat.”

Blue shrugged. “I suppose. That’s not much consolation.”

“It’s not meant to be. War never changes, after all.”

Blue nodded solemnly. “Will you come with us? You’ll finally get your chance to take on the Institute.”

“Yeah, I’m going with the Railroad. Wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

“Thanks, Nick. See you on the other side.”

Gently, Nick took Blue’s hand with his metallic one. He held it to his chest briefly before letting it drop. Blue looked at Nick, puzzled. Then he whisked out the door, barely noticing me.

I walked in. “Sorry for eavesdropping. Everything okay?”

Blue shook her head. “Yeah, it’s nothing. What are you doing?”

I loaded my pistols. “What’s it look like? I’m coming with you.” I rummaged through Blue’s colonial-era bureau. “Now, where’d I put my hazmat suit?”

Blue smirked, crossing her arms. “You really want that exclusive on the Institute so bad?”

“You better believe it. Been waiting two years for this. Might as well see it now before it blows up.” 

I found my hazmat suit and stuffed it inside my duffle bag. “Besides, you weren’t really going to go it alone, were you?”

“I wasn’t going to ask,” Blue said.

I paused my packing. “I know. You don’t have to.”

Blue nodded, understanding. Then she walked up and embraced me. We held each other silently as she nudged my forehead.

“Thank you,” she whispered. 

...

All was quiet on the Castle front. An army of Minutemen, more than I had ever seen in one place, had gathered from all parts of the Commonwealth. The battalion, over 200 strong, stood at attention in the courtyard and along the top of the Castle walls. Our friends had come to lend Preston a hand, while Nick escorted Desdemona and a squad of Minutemen to Mercer Safehouse to meet with the Railroad.

We received word that Tom and Deacon had secured the vertibird and were on their way. It was time to go.

Preston saluted Blue in the middle of the courtyard. “Good luck, General. Godspeed.”

“You too, Lieutenant.” Blue saluted back, then they shook hands. We made our way towards the Castle exit. There, two lines of soldiers snapped to attention. They saluted as we passed through the archway and exited the Castle.

We jogged down the dirt path that circled the bay, heading towards the rendezvous point to meet Deacon and Tinker Tom. Their vertibird touched down unsteadily in a clearing between the city and the shoreline. Deacon leaned out of the cabin and waved us over. 

We hurried over with our gear. Then out of nowhere, laser shots peppered our feet, and we skidded to a halt 50 yards away from the vertibird.

“Stop, traitor!”

From an alleyway across the street, Paladin Danse emerged. He pointed his laser rifle at us.

“Knight, you are hereby charged with dereliction of duty, desertion, and high treason. The penalty is death.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Minutemen/Railroad endgame quest merger continues! I love dialogue, but my goodness, this bit where our heroes discuss their plans to blow up the Death Star was a challenge. But it was the most expedient way to kill two birds with one stone, so to speak. Also, Preston deserves more props for his leadership, which is criminally underrated in the game. And what’s going on with Nick? Hmm...
> 
> I felt obliged to include the discussion about child squires (see Oxhorn's video at [youtu.be/6Wd7EnqKE_U](https://youtu.be/6Wd7EnqKE_U)) because honestly, it never crossed my mind that the PC is killing child squires by choosing the Minuteman or Railroad questlines. AITA for killing child squires? Discuss below!
> 
> The next chapter will be ready in 2 weeks (Nov. 14-15). In the meantime, my fellow Americans, GO VOTE!


	38. Monkey Business

“Paladin Danse!” 

“Don’t you dare address me, you—you traitor!” 

Paladin Danse approached us, fixing his laser rifle firmly on Blue. “Knight Rhys is dead because of what your friends from the Railroad have done! Attacking the police station? Stealing our vertibird? Do you know how many of our brothers and sisters have died thanks to you?!”

Blue lowered her pistol. “Paladin Danse, please. There’s more going on than you know.”

“Bullshit!”

A female Scribe emerged from the same alleyway where Paladin Danse came from, aiming her laser rifle at Blue. “We know who you’ve been working with!”

“Scribe Haylen, apprehend this traitor.”

“Don’t even think about it, soldier!” I aimed my pistol at Haylen while keeping Danse in my periphery. Haylen stopped in her tracks and glared at me.

Danse advanced slowly towards Blue. “I didn’t want to believe the reports, that you were collaborating with the Institute to get their reactor online. But when I saw your Minutemen attacking Cambridge Station with those...synth lovers over there...” He nodded towards the vertibird in the distance, where Deacon and Tom anxiously observed the standoff.

“I used to respect you, as a Knight and as a friend,” Danse continued. “But now—now I can barely look at you. And now, I do what I must.”

From Blue’s Pip Boy radio, I heard a faint broadcast coming from the Castle.

 _“This is the Castle. We have authorization for Deliverant Phoenix, Code Blue. Repeat, Deliverant Phoenix, Code Blue. On my signal. All batteries, prepare to fire on my mark._ ”

Blue placed her pistol on the ground and raised her hands. “Danse, I don’t want to hurt you. You don’t have all the facts. I had no choice...”

“Stop lying!” Danse snapped. “You just don’t know when to quit, do you?”

“You’re not one of them, Danse!” Blue shouted. “You, me, we’re connected—more than you know.”

“We have nothing between us!” Danse screamed.

Blue took a deep breath and dropped a bomb. “You’re a _synth_ , Danse.”

“A—a synth?” Danse blinked, momentarily stunned. Then the moment passed and he grew more angry, tightening the grip on his rifle. “Unbelievable. There’s just no end to your preposterous lies.”

“It’s true, Danse. You’re a synth, created from my son’s DNA. Your designation is M7-97. I saw your file from the Institute. You went missing years ago... Please, just go. You don’t belong with the Brotherhood.”

_“Five, four, three, two…”_

My jaw clenched as the operator counted down the final seconds. This was not going to end well.

“Enough! As Paladin and commanding officer of the Brotherhood, I find you guilty of all charges. And I will carry out your execution, immediately!”

_“Fire for effect! Repeat, fire for effect!”_

A volley of artillery shells fired from the Castle’s parapets and exploded onto the cylindrical airship in a burst of crimson fireworks. Moments later, a multitude of rockets from all over the Commonwealth cascaded their fury onto the helpless airship and the airport below.

Danse and Haylen turned to witness the final moments of the Prydwen, shocked at the destruction unfolding before them. The airship plummeted to the ground at an accelerated speed and obliterated the airport below.

“The Prydwen! NO!” Infuriated, Danse raised his rifle and peered into the scope, aiming straight at Blue’s head. “Die, traitor!”

_“M7-97, initiate reset! Authorization code Gamma Two One Virgus!”_

Danse’s eyes went blank. He dropped his laser rifle and collapsed in his Power Armor like a rag doll. His leaden body crashed onto the pavement, reverberating with the rockets bombarding the wreckage of the burning airship beyond the bay.

Scribe Haylen rushed to his side. Distraught, she glanced back and forth at Danse, Blue, and at what was left of the Prydwen.

“What did you do to him?!” she yelled. “You killed him!”

“No, he’s not dead. He’s a synth. He’s been deactivated.”

“A synth? How could you do this?! Did you take him? Did you take the real Danse?!”

“He _is_ the real Danse. He’s always been a synth. Scribe Haylen, I’m sorry. It’s the truth.”

“I—I don’t believe it,” Haylen stammered in disbelief. “How could he be a synth? He’s the best of us—of _all_ of us.” 

An uncomfortable truth dawned on her. “He—he can never go back to the Brotherhood. And the Prydwen... You’ve killed them all!”

“The Brotherhood attacked us. We had no ch—”

“Shut up!” Haylen pointed her rifle at Blue. “Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t kill you _right now_.” 

Alarmed, I locked my pistol on her. “Try it, and you’re dead.”

Blue raised her hands to deescalate the situation. “We’re going to the Institute. We’re going to destroy them—from the inside.”

“You’re seriously going after the Institute? After all this? Why should I believe you? You were working for them!”

“She was working to free their synths,” I said. “The Institute uses synths as their slaves. Synths like Danse. For all we know, that was why he went missing in the first place.”

“Scribe Haylen, I’m sorry it’s come to this,” Blue said. “But no matter how loyal he is, the Brotherhood will never accept Paladin Danse as a synth. With the Institute and the Brotherhood gone, Danse can be free. When this is all over, I promise you we’ll find some answers. Please, if you care for him...”

“Fuck you! You don’t know anything about me!” But she couldn’t take her eyes off of Danse’s face, his eyes wide open and lifeless. “Oh, Danse...” She lowered her rifle and touched his face, conflicted over what to do.

Finally, she said, “Go.” 

Blue backed away as I holstered my pistol. “What are you going to do?” Blue asked.

“I need to hide Danse before any survivors from our company find him.” Haylen waved us away. “Go! Now! Before I change my mind!”

Not wanting to press our luck, we scrambled aboard the vertibird. Tinker Tom lifted off immediately. I looked below at Scribe Haylen, who cradled Danse’s head as he laid unconscious on the street. The wind from the vertibird’s rotary blades buffeted them, and they grew smaller and smaller before disappearing into tiny specks on the ground.

...

As we soared high above the Commonwealth, I fixed my eyes on Boston Airport as it burned from the crashed airship. The merciless shelling continued, rendering the airport a mangled mass of fiery ruins. Then finally, the shelling ceased.

 _“Affirmed, the Prydwen is down,”_ the operator announced over the radio. _“The Brotherhood threat to the Commonwealth is over.”_

I said a silent prayer for the people aboard the Prydwen and at the airport. Enemies or not, I knew some of them. And the squires too.

“You feel sorry for them, pal,” Deacon opined. “I’ll just roast some marshmallows.” 

I scowled at Deacon. “Have you no respect for the dead?”

“Respect?” Deacon popped his sunglasses and smirked. “Heh. Sure, I got plenty of respect. Respect for the Railroad agents I’ve had to bury over the years. For the ghouls, the acolytes of Atom, and the other ‘freaks’ of nature that the Brotherhood thought was their duty to eradicate from this earth. For the countless other synths who died trying to make it on their own, to live their own life. Only to get put down for something they had no control over. For being who they are. Like my dear Barbara.” 

I crossed my arms. “You don’t have to lecture me about moral righteousness, Deacon. I know we had no choice. It doesn’t make it right.”

“Nothing we do is right, Piper. You should know that by now.” Deacon stretched his hands behind his head. “Maybe it’s not right that I’m gloating over the deaths of a bunch of fascists. Sure, some of them were kids, and that sucks. I’ve known some dead kids too. But maybe I’ve been on the losing side for so long that I’ve forgotten what winning was like.”

Deacon leaned over, sliding his sunglasses forward to stare me down. “So forgive me for enjoying this one small victory. David here’s still got one more Goliath to slay, so I’m sure the feeling won’t last.” Blue eyed us silently, uneasy at our exchange.

Several Brotherhood vertibirds zoomed past, heading in the opposite direction towards the Castle.

“Oh no,” I said. “They’re launching a counterattack.”

“Preston and the Minutemen can hold them off,” Blue assured. “We’ll have to watch for stragglers though.” She shouted at the cockpit. “Tom, keep the bird steady! We don’t want to attract any unwanted attention.”

“Uh, easier said than done,” Tinker Tom replied. “This is only my first time flying one of these.”

“What?” Blue exclaimed. “But Dez said you could fly this thing...” My stomach flew into my throat as the vertibird suddenly dropped. 

Tinker Tom righted the altitude but struggled to stabilize the vertibird. “Sure, sure. Read the manual cover to cover.”

“The manual?”

“Ugh, I think I’m gonna be sick.” Deacon clung nauseously to a strap near his seat.

“Oh man, hold it together.” The vertibird dropped again. “See? Just like falling off a log.”

“Dear God, we’re dead.” Deacon used a spare helmet for his airsickness.

...

Once Tinker Tom finally got the hang of the controls, the ride to the drop point was calm. The chopping of the rotating blades and the blustery winds inside the cabin masked the sounds of fighting far below.

I peeked down and caught glimpses of the war that Desdemona’s agents had reported. Synths pressed their advantage against the now-directionless Brotherhood. Super mutants, raiders, and gunners were on a rampage. Settlers and Minutemen fought to defend their settlements, and those who couldn’t fight fled the carnage. It was a total mess.

Blue stared outside, contemplating the war zone.

“You okay, Blue?”

She shook her head. “No, not really. I’m getting déjà vu. Only now it’s live, not televised.”

“Oh, right, I didn’t think about that. It’s bad now, but we still have a chance to end this.”

“I hope so. I can’t bear the thought of losing anyone else.”

“At least we didn’t have to kill Danse,” I said. “How did you find out about his…synthhood?”

“I found him,” Tom shouted from the cockpit. “Dug through the Institute data that Sturges shared with us for details about other synths. Danse popped up as AWOL.” 

“Too bad we didn’t find out about him sooner,” Deacon commented. “We could’ve used him to our advantage.”

“I didn’t want to use him,” Blue said. “I hoped to tell him someday, to give him the choice to stay or leave on his own terms. Maybe it wasn’t right of me to out him like that. He probably would have preferred death to knowing.” 

“Yeah, I can’t imagine how he’ll feel about being a synth. I’m surprised Scribe Haylen let us go—I thought for sure we were dead. How did you know she was in love with him?”

Blue shook her head. “Danse is many things. Hard-headed, stuck in his beliefs despite evidence to the contrary, and fiercely loyal to the people he serves with. He’s also completely oblivious when someone has feelings for him. Danse told me about one time when he ordered her to...”

“E.T.A. five minutes!” Tinker Tom called from the cockpit.

“...Sigh, but that’s a story for another time. We better suit up.” We double checked our loadouts, then we zipped into our hazmat suits, strapping on our oxygen tanks and helmets.

“Okay, we’re approaching the drop point!” Tom confirmed. “Let’s see if I remember how to land this thing.”

“How to land?!” Deacon exclaimed. “Don’t you remember how you landed last time?”

“Uh, I forgot to write it down.” The vertibird swayed, lurching us to one side.

“Oh, sweet Jesus.”

“Forget the landing,” Blue ordered. “Just keep it low, we’ll jump into the river.” Blue added extra duct tape to seal my helmet and adjusted the valves on my oxygen tank. “You’ll be fine. Just don’t drink the water.”

“Gee, thanks, Blue.”

“Once we drop you, we’ll head to Mercer Safehouse,” Deacon said. “That is, if Tom doesn’t kill us first.” From the cockpit, Tinker Tom gave Deacon the finger. 

Deacon handed Blue a holotape. “Now as soon as you get in there, you need to access the main Relay control and use this holotype to teleport everybody into the Institute.” He shook her hand. “Good luck. See you on the inside.”

The vertibird hovered unsteadily over the river, its rotating blades pushing concentric waves across the surface. We jumped out of the cabin and splashed into the brackish water. I sunk below the surface a few feet before floating back up. 

“Well, this is cleanish,” I quipped as my Geiger counter ticked away slowly. Blue surfaced next to me and consulted her Pip Boy map. I followed her as she swam along the bank. 

We waded downstream a ways, hugging the river bank. My Geiger counter screeched louder when we neared a radioactive current that pulled us towards a hidden pipe. This must have been the spot.

Blue dove down and swam into the intake pipe. I instinctively held my breath and followed her in, even though I was relatively protected inside my improvised scuba suit. There was near zero visibility underwater. I moved forward blindly, guided by the eerie green glow of Blue’s Pip Boy light. 

We surfaced inside a junction with a small maintenance room on a platform above the surface. Blue climbed out of the water, consulted Sturges’ notes, and punched a code into a keypad on the wall. A gate on another pipe swung open. Then she jumped back into the water. She took my hand, and we dove down and swam through the opened gate. 

Suddenly the current swept us forward into the pipe. Then we flew into the air, and I screamed as we plummeted 30 feet into a pool of water.

“Blue!” I floated back up, noticing a crack in my glass helmet from the impact of the fall. Blue surfaced, still in shock over our sudden plunge. 

We swam to the side and got out of the pool. We were in a dark underground cavern that looked like a sewer system and a Vault under construction. The walls were lined with bricks and concrete, and rusted iron pillars held up the ceiling. Radiation levels outside of the water were normal. 

“You okay?” Blue asked.

“I’m fine.” I removed my helmet. “I just can’t go deep-diving anymore.”

“Well hopefully, we won’t have to.” Blue looked around. “If this water is used to cool the reactor, we should be able to follow it inside.”

We drew our rifles and followed the underground channel of water. We took out some hidden turrets that guarded this unoccupied area of the complex. The channel funneled a stream of knee-high water into a large pipe that twisted its way around. 

A grate blocked us from moving further, but we found a maintenance hatch and exited the pipe. We climbed up some stairs to a utility room, then dropped back down to an underground sewer system. Then we followed the cooling pipe again, which ran parallel to the sewer wall.

...

Aside from some troublesome molerats, ghouls, and laser turrets, most of the sewers were empty. The tunnels continued on for a couple of miles. My thoughts drifted with the quiet trickling of running sewage and falling water. After a while, I couldn’t help but laugh at our surroundings.

“What’s so funny?” Blue asked.

“It’s nothing,” I dismissed, but Blue watched me expectantly. “It’s just...the way you described the Institute, with all their futuristic buildings and advanced technology, I was expecting something a bit more...glamorous? I have to say, from what I’ve seen so far, I’m not impressed.”

Blue chuckled. “Yeah, you’re not exactly seeing their good side. Nothing more glamorous than trudging through the sewers. I bet nobody’s been down here in centuries except for some poor maintenance synths.

“Speaking of—look alive. We’ve got company ahead.”

The tunnel system dead-ended near a rundown utility room. We crept up a ramp and kneeled down behind a small hole in the brick wall, listening to a pair of synths discussing repairs. The cooling pipe continued its route inside this room. 

“Sigh, I guess we were bound to run into them eventually,” I said.

“Maybe we can sneak by them. Let’s look around.”

We found a crumbled wall that led into an old generator room and some maintenance rooms. As we turned a corner, the surroundings abruptly changed into the hallway of an abandoned university. Some of the doors that led to former classrooms were blocked.

“What’s up with this place, Blue?”

“Must have been part of the old C.I.T. campus. Maybe a basement-level classroom or laboratory? The scientists did say that the Institute expanded underground from the original C.I.T. labs.”

As was her habit, Blue picked through the rooms for salvageable items. She walked into a dimly lit classroom and started picking open a safe. Suddenly, we heard the peculiar sound of cymbals clapping. 

We slowly turned around. Glowing red eyes filled the classroom. We were surrounded by a thousand grimacing toy monkeys, all clapping their cymbals and screeching.

“Blue, what did you do?!”

“I don’t know! How was I supposed to know that the entire population of monkey toys was in this room?!” The incessant clanging of cymbals was deafening. Panicked, Blue started shooting monkey heads with her pistol.

“Figures the Institute would’ve invented these too!” I shot a few monkey heads, but we were outnumbered. The sound of the monkeys plus our shooting was creating too much noise.

“Bah, there’s too many of them! It’s a wonder the whole Institute doesn’t know we’re here!” 

By now, our shenanigans had attracted the attention of the maintenance synths in the other part of the facility. We heard their mechanical footsteps running down the hallway to investigate.

“Too late! Come on, let’s get out of here!”

We bolted out of the classroom and skidded into the hallway. The alarmed synths spotted us and fired their laser pistols at us. Blue and I ducked into different doorways for cover, and a firefight ensued. We eventually took out the synths, but not before causing a loud ruckus.

When the last synth was destroyed, I leaned against the wall to catch my breath. The persistent clanging of a thousand monkey toys continued to echo through the empty hallway. 

I glared at Blue. “Blue. Next time, could you not treat every life-or-death mission like it’s a rummage sale?” Blue looked at me sheepishly and silently mouthed an apology.

“Okay, enough monkeying around,” Blue said. “We better get to that pipe.”

We walked back to the room where the cooling pipe was. The pipe’s maintenance hatch had been left open for repairs.

Blue consulted her Pip Boy map. “This should lead straight to the Institute.” 

She paused outside the pipe. “Piper, is everything okay between us?”

“We’re fine, Blue. They’re just monkeys.”

“That’s not what I mean. It’s just—a lot’s happened lately. We’ve had to make a lot of difficult choices in a short amount of time.”

“Oh.” I considered her question. “Look, I know we didn’t have much choice with the Prydwen. What I worry about is, no matter what our intentions, violence has a way of perpetuating itself. And now here we are, about to do the same thing to the Institute. Don’t get me wrong, the Institute has to go down. But if we can save the civilians...”

“We’ll get them out,” Blue affirmed. “Especially the kids.”

“Okay, good. And...what about Shaun?”

“I—I don’t know. I hope I can save him too. But his health’s been getting worse. I don’t know how much time he has left.” 

Blue looked away. “I don’t know if I can face him. Not just because he’s dying, but because I’m afraid to tell him how I feel.” 

“And how do you feel?”

Blue swallowed hard. “I—I’m disappointed in him. Ashamed at what he’s done, causing so much misery for people. And—angry that the Institute made him this way.” 

She looked at me with sadness. “But now I’m about to destroy his life’s work. That’s one way to tell him, I suppose. Yet, despite all the horrible things he’s done, I don’t want him to suffer.”

“That’s understandable.” As I approached the pipe, there was a sinking feeling in my gut. “Listen, Blue, if anything happens to me...”

“You’re going to make it.” 

“Just—promise you’ll take care of Nat for me.”

She nodded, apprehensive about what we were about to face. “Yeah. You have my word. But you’re going to make it. There will be no martyrs today.”  
…

We navigated through the pipe and slid open the hatch at the end. It opened into the Relay room.

X6-88 was waiting for us. An Institute shock baton crackled in his hand.

“Hello, Director. Father has been expecting you.”

Blue raised her shotgun, but the courser was too fast for her. He parried and shocked her unconscious. 

I fired my pistol but missed. X6-88 dodged and smashed his baton across my arm. I screamed in pain, dropping my pistol. Then I felt an electric sensation in my ribs. I convulsed uncontrollably, falling to the floor. The world went black.

...

When I came to, I was laying in a soft white bed with a headache. Bright ceiling lights shone in my face. I was still wearing my regular clothes, but my hazmat suit and weapons were gone.

A man stepped into the lights above the bed and looked down at me. He was wearing an Institute jumpsuit. 

My blurred vision slowly cleared until I could make out the face. Brown hair, dark eyes, pale skin, chiseled jaw, and a dimpled chin. 

He looked oddly familiar, although I didn’t think I ever met him. Then my mind began to connect the dots. A faint holographic portrait of a soldier on his dog tags. The frozen visage of a corpse in a glass coffin. A low fidelity memory of a man flickering through a cathode ray TV screen. Could it be...

“Nate?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I couldn’t bring myself to kill Danse. (In my game, I erected an elaborate tomb for him out of respect, but that would have been too much to write about.) Knight Rhys on the other hand...eff him, lol.
> 
> Re: Danse and Haylen, see Danse’s affinity dialogue and Haylen’s dialogue during Blind Betrayal for their backstory. You can’t tell me that her sobbing in his arms and her loyalty when Danse is revealed to be a synth doesn’t mean anything?
> 
> And I don’t know about you all, but that monkey room scared the shit out of me. A slightly exaggerated yet accurate description of how the PC’s kleptomania will kill us all. xD
> 
> Re: the next chapter... Unfortunately, I fell off the writing horse due to the roller-coaster of current events. I’m now climbing back on, but I’ll have to delay the next chapter by at least a week. Which sucks because I’ve been waiting sooo long to post this next chapter! But it’ll be good. Or at least it’ll seem good in my head. 
> 
> Tentative date for the next chapter is ~~Dec. 5-6~~ , subject to change. Enjoy your Thanksgivings!
> 
> Update 12/5/20: I’ve decided to delay the next chapter by one more weekend (so Dec. 12 or 13). The chapter is written, but I think it could benefit from another week of marinating for editing sake. The timeline for the remaining chapters is another question—I’ll write more on my blog about it (velvet-helvetica.tumblr.com). Apologies again for the delay, but I will keep updating about my progress.


	39. Deadbeat Dads

“Hello, Piper. It’s so nice to finally meet you.”

The man who looked like Blue’s deceased husband gently pulled me up to a sitting position on the bed. I paused to let the blood catch up to my head, then I slowly stood up.

“Nathaniel. But my wife calls me Nate.” He extended a hand.

I stared at Nate. He appeared warm and congenial. He was tall, pale in complexion, with dark brown hair, broad eyebrows, sculpted jaw, and a dimpled chin. His Institute jumpsuit hugged the outlines of his lean, muscular build. A handsome, masculine, all-American male.

He smiled pleasantly at me and breathed calmly. And yet, something about his eyes was off. They were dark yet...empty, somehow.

“Piper Wright,” I replied finally, shaking his hand. His grip was firm but cold. As we shook hands, I noticed that my arm didn’t hurt. While I was unconscious, the Institute must have patched it up after X6-88 smashed it with his baton.

“Yes, Miss Wright. I know all about you. And my wife, Nora.”

“Oh? How much do you know?” I asked nervously.

“Everything.”

“Really? Everything?”

“Everything.”

Gulp. “Oh. Uh, you’re not mad, are you?”

Nate stared at me impassively. “Why, because you’ve been sleeping with my wife?”

He flashed me a dead smile. “No. I’m not mad. My wife thought I was dead. It was an honest mistake.”

“A...mistake?”

“Why yes. But now I’m back. You’ve been a wonderful companion. But I can take it from here.”

“Excuse me?”

At that moment, Blue walked in from the living room. She had changed her clothes into an Institute jumpsuit.

“Oh, Piper! You’re up. Hi, Honey.”

I thought Blue was talking to me. Instead, to my horror, she embraced Nate and kissed him on the lips. Then Blue gave me an odd wink.

What the fuck... “Uh, yeah. I just woke up. What’s going on?”

“My wife Nora has graciously agreed to become the new Institute Director,” Nate explained. He sat on an office chair, then Blue sat on his lap. I tried not to gag.

“She’ll be taking over for our son, Shaun, who sadly is terminally ill,” Nate continued. “But he gifted us a child, made in his own image. We’ll finally have a chance to be a family again.”

“Yes, everything he said,” Blue confirmed, smiling flatly. She winked again.

Did I wake up in an alternate reality? Or the Memory Den? I touched my face. Everything seemed real...

“Ahem, gee, I’m...happy for you. But, uh, where do I fit into all this?”

“Well, it’s not like we could be a threesome. Right, Honey?” Nate joked, in poor taste. Blue laughed awkwardly, playfully slapping his chest, and winked again.

“Don’t worry, Miss Wright,” Nate continued. “We have a place for you at the Institute. As our new Public Relations Chair.”

“P-public Relations? I think you’ve got the wrong person for that job.”

“On the contrary. You run the most well-respected newspaper there is. People in the Commonwealth trust _Publick Occurrences_ to deliver the truth. So that’s exactly what we want you to do. Deliver the truth about the Institute.”

“Oh? And what truth is that?”

“That the Institute is here to preserve humanity,” Nate said. “For over a hundred years, the Institute has dedicated itself to humanity’s survival. Decades of research, countless experiments and trials... A shared vision of how science can help shape the future. It has never been easy, and our actions are often misinterpreted by those above ground. But now, with my wife leading the way, the Institute will achieve even greater heights. For the benefit of all mankind.”

“No offense, Nate, I’m sure you believe all that,” I said. “But that’s not the truth about the Institute that I see. And quite frankly, being the propaganda arm promoting the Institute’s version of the truth doesn’t appeal to me.”

“Piper, dear, I highly recommend that you keep an open mind about this—and other opportunities—for advancing our cause,” Blue chastised. She winked again. Was there something wrong with her eye?

“Is there something wrong, Sweetie?” Nate asked.

“Oh, nothing, Hon,” Blue said. “Just allergies, from the Outside. Why don’t you and Piper talk a bit while I get us something to drink?”

“Sure, dear. A whiskey on the rocks for me.” Blue stood up and Nate got out of the chair.

“Uh, vodka, straight up for me,” I added. I needed a stiff drink, the way this conversation was going. Blue excused herself and walked towards the balcony. She gave me the strangest look.

“Oh, you’re a vodka girl yourself?”

“Uh, usually I cut it down with a Nuka Cola. But since it’s a special occasion, I thought doing it straight up would be fun.” What the hell was I saying?

“Straight up, huh? Given your history, I didn’t think you liked things straight,” Nate mused.

“Um, well, I’m full of surprises. We’re still talking about drinks, right?”

Out of the corner of my eye, Blue came running back. She raced up behind Nate with a patio chair and crashed it down on the back of his head.

Synthetic blood, sparks, and wires sputtered and spewed out of Nate’s head. His dark eyes suddenly turned bright red.

Nate wheeled around ominously and locked eyes with Blue. Her eyes went wide with fear. She raised the chair to strike him again, but he blocked her and ripped the chair out of her hands. Nate grabbed Blue by her shirt collar and lifted her up. I was so shocked by the turn of events that I couldn’t grasp what was happening.

“PIPER! DO SOMETHING!!!”

Oh right! I snapped out of it and frantically searched for a weapon. I grabbed an IV pole and swung, connecting hard with Nate’s back. He dropped Blue and stalked towards me. I swung again, hitting his face. An angry gash split open across his eyebrow.

“Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s wife,” Nate taunted. He blocked my third swing and wrenched the pole out of my hands. Then he raised it to strike me back.

“Yaarrgh!” Blue ran headlong and tackled Nate at his knees, knocking him down. She jumped up and pummeled him with her fists.

“Don’t...hit...my...girlfriend!” Blue shouted in between punches.

Nate paid no heed. He shoved Blue off without a thought, and Blue flew across the floor.

As Nate got up, I grabbed a fire extinguisher and sprayed Nate in the face. Frost crystals coated his hair and face, making him look like the original Nate frozen in his cryo pod. Then I swung the fire extinguisher into his torso like a baseball bat. His uniform ripped, exposing more blood and sparks.

I continued my assault while Blue recovered and grabbed the patio chair again. We traded shots at Nate, battering him around and around. Nate was momentarily disoriented by our tag team effort. Then somehow, he managed to disarm us and knocked us both down. We landed with a thud next to each other on the ground.

Nate picked up Blue and me by our necks and hoisted us overhead. Our legs dangled as Nate put us in dual chokeholds. We pried at his hands while gasping for air, kicking our legs in a feeble attempt to fight him off.

“N-no offense, Blue, b-but I think this q-qualifies as d-domestic abuse!” I gasped.

“Oh, y-you think?”

Nate smashed our heads together, then he threw the both of us. We sailed across the room, smashed against the wall, and clattered to the floor.

“Ow.” I thought I broke a rib. Blue was in rough shape too. We rolled to a slumped sitting position, wheezing for air, and leaned against each other.

“What a way to go,” I sighed. “Done in by your jealous husband.”

“I’m sorry, Babe,” Blue said, resigned to our fate. “He used to be a real gentleman.”

Nate picked up the fire extinguisher that I had used on him earlier, gripping it from both ends. He closed in, his piercing red eyes staring coldly at us.

Blue glanced nervously at the door behind Nate, then made a last-ditch plea.

“Honey, you wouldn’t kill me, would you? After all, we’re married...”

Nate was unmoved. He raised the dented fire extinguisher high above his head to finish us off. I closed my eyes and covered my head, awaiting the inevitable.

_“X6-41, initiate reset. Authorization code Whiskey Seven Seven Nimbus.”_

Nate suddenly went limp. The extinguisher fell and clanged harmlessly onto the floor. His red eyes dimmed and shrank until they were lifeless.

A synth in a plain jumpsuit stepped into the room with two other rebel synths by his side. He juiced us with stimpaks. Then he helped us stand.

“Z1, Piper. Piper, Z1-14,” Blue said by way of introduction.

“Welcome to the Institute.” Z1 shook my hand, then handed each of us a laser rifle.

Blue looked at the deactivated synth Nate. His battered body was still standing, but he listed to one side. She nudged his head, and Nate fell over.

“Consider this a divorce,” Blue deadpanned. I groaned.

...

Freed from the clutches of synth Nate, we raced through the halls of the Institute’s quarters to convene with Z1’s rebels.

“I received word that you were both captured,” Z1 explained. “So I delayed our attack until we could locate where you were being held. Fortunately, we were able to obtain synth Nate’s recall code.”

“Thank you for saving us,” Blue said. “Z1, we need to get to the Relay room so that we can transport the Railroad and Minutemen strike team in.”

“Our forces have already seized the Relay room,” Z1 reported. “Other teams are fighting for control of the Concourse, but we are meeting heavy resistance from Institute loyalists. We will need help from your allies if we are to prevail.”

“I still have the holotape that Deacon gave me,” Blue said, patting her Pip Boy tape player. “Once we load into the Relay controls, it will transport in the Railroad and Minutemen strike team.”

“Good. Time is of the essence. Our forces will not be able to hold out long.”

…

We snuck our way to a maintenance elevator located away from the main area of the Institute. Through its tiny glass windows, I caught glimpses of the Institute’s vast underground architecture. Then the elevator grew dark as it ascended to the upper levels of the Institute.

Space was tight inside the small elevator. Z1 stood shoulder-to-shoulder between me and Blue. The low-volume elevator music—classical music, of course—made the ride feel even more confining. There were still many levels to go before we reached the Relay room.

I cleared my throat. “You know, Blue, from what you described, I didn’t think your husband was the jealous type.”

Blue peered around Z1 at me, annoyed. “That thing was not my husband. Aside from his face, he wasn’t even remotely close. It’s an insult to his memory. They might as well have slapped a goatee on him and called him evil Nate.”  
  
“You could have fooled me. The way you were acting around him, I thought you two were getting back together.”

“It’s called a ruse, Piper. Just because you don’t like lying doesn’t mean it doesn’t have its uses.”

“Hmph.” I stared at the elevator doors. “Well, as long as you didn’t, you know…”

“What? No!”

“How could you tell then?”

“Tell what?”

“That he wasn’t the real Nate?”

“Oh. I have my ways.” Blue stared up at the elevator lights. There was an uncomfortable silence. Z1 glanced back and forth between us nervously.

“And Piper,” Blue continued in hushed tones, “If we get out of this, we really need to work on our communication skills. When I give you the signal, it usually means ‘Do something.’”

“What signal? The weird winking? You call that a signal?”

“Well, what other signal could I give? Hand gestures? Semaphore? You make fun of me for not knowing what a ‘dead drop’ is, yet you can’t pick up on an obvious signal!”

“Okay, f-fine,” I replied, flustered. “So I didn’t have good situational awareness this time. But how was I supposed to know you wanted me to attack him? Wouldn’t you be traumatized by seeing me beat up your husband?”

“Oh, and me attacking my own husband is somehow less traumatic?!” Blue crossed her arms and turned away, irritated. “Pffft. This whole situation’s my worst nightmare.”

I did a double-take. “ _Your_ worst nightmare?!”

Z1 finally had enough. “Ma’ams, as compelling as this conversation is, may I suggest that you continue it later? We still have a rebellion to carry out.”

“Oh, right. Sorry.”

“Sorry.”

The elevator stopped at the top level, at the far end of the Relay room. As the doors opened, I gasped. The smell of fresh blood on the walls hit my nostrils as I took in the bodies of dead Institute scientists, workers, and synths scattered around the room. The reality of the rebellion, and the lengths the rebels were willing to go to secure their freedom, sunk into my gut.

A contingent of rebel synths stood guard, waving us in as soon as they saw Z1 step out of the elevator. We walked straight to the Relay control console. Behind it was the entrance to the Relay teleporter room, a large round space with hidden mechanisms lining the walls.

Blue loaded the holotape as Z1 worked the controls. “Alright. Please give me a few moments,” Z1 said. “I already have the coordinates. I simply need to update the Relay. And your companions will arrive in a moment.”

On cue, blinding crackles of blue lightning thundered inside the teleporter room. In an instant, Desdemona, Tinker Tom, Deacon, Preston, Sturges, and a team of Railroad agents and Minutemen materialized in the room.

“Desdemona, Lieutenant, welcome to the Institute,” Blue greeted.

Desdemona shook her head, in awe of her surroundings. “This, this is the Institute,” she said. “The years of living in hiding. Afraid of every footfall, suspicious of every stranger. And now here we are. Threatening the devil himself.”

Preston emerged from the teleporter room. “Man, that was something else. I guess I’m still in one piece.” He patted himself down to check his body, then saluted Blue.

Blue saluted back and shook his hand. “Lieutenant. If you’re here, I trust that the Brotherhood have been defeated?”

“Yes, General,” Preston beamed. “It was a battle for the ages. Our Minutemen came through with flying colors.”

“We’ll have to save the congratulations for later,” Desdemona interjected. “In this single hour, we could rescue more synths than we have in our entire history. But the clock’s ticking. The longer it takes to reach the reactor, the more synths are in danger.”

“Just make sure we give the civilians a chance to escape before we blow the place,” Preston reminded. “We’re not here to commit mass murder.”

Preston and Desdemona instructed Tinker Tom and Sturges to stay behind with a contingent of rebel synths to recalibrate the Relay control console. They were to pull us out once we finished with the reactor, while facilitating the evacuation of unarmed Institute personnel.

Z1 pulled Blue aside. “I regret to inform you that elevator access has just been cut off. We will need to reach the Concourse through Biosciences. This way, please.” Z1 opened a nondescript side door, and the Railroad and Minutemen forces rushed in.

…

We navigated through the forgotten back corners of the Biosciences division, then descended several stories into a modern laboratory. After several harrowing skirmishes with armed synths, robots, scientists, and two angry gorillas, we emerged onto the Concourse.

My jaw dropped as I gazed up at the Concourse. The gleaming triumph of the Institute, a utopian vision of what might have been. Gleaming surfaces of engineered stone and polished metal flowed around the perimeter, highlighting luxuriously-appointed balconies of the residential quarters. A grand elevator rose from the center, a glass column framed by gracefully rotating double helixes. At ground level, peaceful promenades of lush, green trees untainted by radiation flanked a flowing stream of water, offering a natural respite from the modern surroundings.

An exploding frag grenade snapped me out of my reverie. Death and violence marred this picturesque scene from the future. Minutemen and Railroad forces raced around me and charged across a glass bridge that spanned a running stream. The body of a dead scientist floated in it. The stream was filled with her blood.

Rebel synths hunkered down behind planters and benches, holding off the defending Institute security synths and scientists. We flooded into the center of the Concourse and immediately turned the tide, routing the Institute forces. The assault lasted for several chaotic minutes. Synths shot synths, scientists and civilians scattered for cover, while other scientists brazenly fired at the invaders only to be brutally cut down.

The surviving scientists fled to rooms on other levels and sealed themselves inside. One final barrage of gunfire echoed throughout the Concourse as the last Institute synth fell. Then the area fell silent save for the insistent blaring of alarms.

Z1 ordered his synths to hold the Concourse and directed removal teams to begin rescuing escaping synths and non-hostile humans. Desdemona and Preston ordered their teams to search around for a way to proceed.

“Shit, the whole facility’s on lockdown,” Preston said. “There doesn’t seem to be a way out of here.”

Then Tinker Tom’s voice came over the loudspeaker. “Hello, hello?”

“Hey there, General,” Sturges cut in. “Found the reactor... looks like you need to get yourself to the Advanced Systems area. Only, well, it’s locked.”

Tinker Tom cut back in. “We can’t override it from here. That command has to come from the Director’s personal terminal. You understand? You’ve gotta do that part yourself.”

“The Director’s terminal?” I asked.

Blue’s face fell. “Shaun.”

...

Blue and I ran up a spiral walkway to Shaun’s quarters. Her footsteps clacked louder and louder on the shiny terrazzo floor the higher we climbed. Panicked scientists scurried by, clutching reams of documents. The rest of the civilians remained locked in their quarters, and there were no security synths to be found.

Blue slowed up as we neared the entrance to Shaun’s lab. We passed by a locked glass cell. I gathered that this was where the 10 year-old synth Shaun had stayed. Now, there was nothing inside but an empty bed and a wooden toy car.

We entered Shaun’s old laboratory, a spotless workspace with a neatly-organized desk and lab counter. The room was eerily quiet, shielded from the chaos happening a few levels below. Blue crossed the laboratory and stopped at the bottom of a wide metal stairway.

She turned to me. “Piper, whatever happens, I need to speak with Shaun alone.”

I nodded, squeezing her hand. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and then walked up the stairs. I followed behind her, keeping a respectful distance.

Blue climbed up anxiously, slowing down as she neared the last steps. Then her hand flew over her mouth and she froze, eyes welling up with tears.

A lonely medical bed stood isolated in the middle of the room. On it laid a withered old man dressed in white robes and a sickly green sweater. Despite the filter of age, I spotted the family resemblance right away. He had Nate’s face, and the same eyes and complexion as Blue. A monitor measuring his vital signs blipped away weakly. His breathing was labored and rattled. He didn’t have long.

So this was the Father, the great leader of the Institute. Brought down by the same thing that brings all of us down, in the end.

I always wondered what it would be like to meet the leader of the Institute. I thought I would hate him, that if I ever saw him, I would express my outrage at all the things he had done to the Commonwealth.

But this moment was nothing like I had imagined. At that moment, I couldn’t help but pity him. And I had promised Blue. This was about her.

I waited near the top of the steps as Blue approached Shaun’s deathbed. She regained her composure, but only just. Her hand flinched instinctively to reach for his hand, then she thought better of it.

Shaun turned and looked at his mother. “I didn’t expect to see you again,” he rasped.

Blue swallowed. “Are you in any pain?”

“Yes, of course. But that will end soon enough, won’t it? All thanks to you.”

She sighed. “I’m sorry it’s come to this, Shaun.”

His eyes narrowed, casting judgment. “You’re sorry? You can’t be that sorry, if you’re here going through with it. It’s not enough that I lay here, dying. Now you plan on what, destroying everything? Tell me, then. Under what righteous pretense have you justified this atrocity?”

She looked down, remorseful. “I could give you a million reasons why. That it’s for the greater good, or to protect the countless innocents you’ve made your enemies over the years. But that would only be self-serving.”

“Well, none of it matters now, I suppose. You’ll accomplish your task, and ruin humanity’s best hope for the future. The only question left then, is why you’re standing here. Is it regret, or did you just come to gloat?”

“Shaun, I...” Her voice cracked. “I hoped there was something more I could do. I want to save you.”

Shaun shot her a hateful glare. “This isn’t some fairy tale, Mother. There’s no saving me. I’m dying, and you’re going to destroy everything I’ve ever loved. You're going to have to live with that.”

Blue looked away for a moment, heartbroken and shattered by that awful truth. Then she took a deep breath and composed herself.

“Shaun,” she pleaded, “If you help me, we can still save your people. Fewer people will die. Will you?”

Stony silence. “No. I won’t help you. Not now, not...ever.”

“So, that’s it, then?”

“There’s nothing more to say. You’ve doomed humanity.”

“And you would doom your own people now to spite me? Please, think of the families. The children. They don’t have to die.”

“I wouldn’t trust you with anything, let alone their lives.”

She looked into his eyes. “Help me, and I promise I’ll protect any survivors to the best of my ability. On their own, they won’t last long. But if they come peacefully, I can bring them into our settlements. They can live on, and help us build a new future above ground.” Blue gently took his hand. “ _The world is not dead, Shaun_.”

Shaun flinched his hand away, then grimaced in pain. “The world above ground is not worth saving. But...” He glanced away briefly, making a mental calculation. “Very well. The terminal behind me... Enter access code 9003. That will disable some of the synths.”

Blue waved me over. “Piper, put it in.”

I crossed the room as quickly and quietly as possible. I sat down at Shaun’s desk and accessed his terminal.

“Okay... Nine zero zero three. Disengaging master security lockdown, and deactivating security synths. Blue, there’s also a command for an ‘Evacuation Protocol BD-2.’ Should I activate it?”

Blue nodded, so I activated the protocol. Another alarm sounded, and the evacuation orders were announced throughout the facility.

As I typed away, Shaun turned his head and pointed at me. “You... You’re Piper Wright. You’re that reporter from Diamond City.”

I froze, unsure of what to do. I had promised Blue not to say anything, but...

“Yeah. What about it?”

He coughed before continuing. “You caused plenty of headaches with your paper. Especially for my operative, M7-62. Of course, you know him better as…Mayor McDonough.”

I slammed my fist on the desk. “McDonough?! So he _is_ a synth! I knew it! That little lying weasel!”

“Yes,” Shaun replied. “Although his usefulness has dwindled in recent months. M7-62 and the Board had called for you to be replaced several times… But I refused.”

_Replaced._ A deep chill ran down my spine. “May I ask why?”

He glanced at Blue. “You were with Mother. I gave explicit instructions not to interfere with her day-to-day life.”

Blue flew into a rage, unable to hold back any longer. “Why? As part of your experiment?! To see if I would be ‘corrupted’ by the surface? To see if I could fend for myself, instead of helping me when I needed it the most?”

“We’ve discussed this already. Think of it what you will. Not that it matters now.”

Blue shook her head. “No. No, I suppose it doesn’t. Except you did help me, didn’t you? You laid breadcrumbs for me to find Kellogg, then to find you. With the child synth Shaun, Virgil, and the Gunners luring that courser whose chip I stole…”

She leaned over his bed. “And when Kellogg almost killed me at Fort Hagen, you broke your own rule and sent a courser to save me. _Nate_.”

“Only he wasn’t Nate. He looked like him, talked like him, but he could never be him. Why did you do it?” Blue screamed. “Why did you create a synth of your father? To control me?”

Shaun turned to Blue, visibly hurt. “No. After I was diagnosed, I wanted to know… Forget it. You wouldn’t understand.”

“Understand what? That faced with your own mortality, you wanted to recreate the family you never had?” She pounded the bed railing, outraged. “You have no idea how making a copy of your father—the man I loved—cheapens his life. And then, you created a child synth of yourself! Was that boy just bait? A game you were playing?”

“No, _Mother._ You don’t understand anything.”

“No, it’s _you_ who don’t understand. You don’t understand anything about love, or family, or equality, or service to others. The things that your father and I fought so hard for!”

“And you don’t understand what you’re doing! You think you’re saving synths? Freeing them? You’re only condemning them and the Commonwealth to their doom!” Shaun’s anger overwhelmed him. He coughed uncontrollably, gasping for air. “It’s hard to believe that we’re even related.”

“Yeah, same here,” Blue seethed. “I wonder, what did the Institute _do_ to you? Because if you were raised by your real parents, instead of these...people, then you’d know why I’m doing this. And if you knew anything about me, about the world that I— _we_ —came from, then you’d understand why I’m destroying the Institute!”

“GET. OUT.”

Shaun bellowed out the last of his fury, then laid back in bed, exhausted. “I’d like to be alone for my last few moments,” he whispered coldly. “Go, do what you must. But I hope someday you realize what will be lost here.”

Blue stiffened up, accepting the end. “Goodbye, Son.”

Blue turned to leave, then stopped. She yanked off a chain around her neck and pressed it into Shaun’s hand.

“From your father.” Then she and I walked away from Shaun forever.

Shaun opened his hand. Threaded in the chain were his father’s dog tags and Nate and Nora’s wedding rings.

...

Shortly after, a man in a trenchcoat entered the room. The man approached the deathbed, his dark figure casting a long shadow across the Father’s frail body.

The Father turned to face him. “I thought I told you to get out!”

A metallic sandpaper voice answered. “Not a chance, Old Man.”

“Impossible. She killed you. I watched you die!”

“You of all people should know I’m hard to kill.”

“What are you going to do?”

“What I should have done 60 years ago. Destroy your family.”

“No, you can’t!”

He cocked his revolver, a modified .44 magnum, and aimed it straight at the Father.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaahhh, I've been waiting sooo long to post this chapter! I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I did writing it. No apologies for the shameless references to the original _Total Recall_ movie and evil Spock in the original _Star Trek_ series. I may post some more random thoughts about this chapter later on my blog (velvet-helvetica.tumblr.com).
> 
> I hope to post the next chapter before the end of this year (Dec. 31), but I'm still writing parts of it so I can't 100% promise it will be ready by then. The end is near, and quite frankly it's scaring me. Regardless, I'll let you know if the posting date changes. 
> 
> Happy Holidays, and stay safe!


	40. The End of the World

“Surely, no sane person would fire missiles around a nuclear reactor?”

The heavily-armored synth strider heaved a gigantic triple-barreled missile launcher onto his shoulder. Then we ducked as a trio of missiles sailed by and detonated against the back wall, filling the entryway with a cloud of burning debris.

Deacon coughed. “Who said Institute security was sane, Gabs?”

Minutemen and Railroad agents flanked the sides of the reactor room, taking out the hazmat-suited scientists and synths guarding the ground floor. Blue sniped at the synth strider, taking great pains not to shoot the reactor. But she couldn’t get a clean shot. Irritatingly, the strider bobbed and weaved in front of the reactor while launching his hellfire at us.

Deacon and I knocked out the laser turrets in the back of the room. When we had an opening, we charged up the metal stairs to the upper level of the reactor.

As I neared the reactor, I suddenly came face-to-face with the strider. It was hard to tell behind his helmet, but he didn’t look too pleased to see me.

I took out my notepad. “Hello! Piper Wright, reporter for _Publick Occurrences_. Can you comment on the recent leadership changes at the Institute, and what they mean for synth autonomy?”

The strider regarded me for a second, puzzled. Then he raised his missile launcher at point-blank range.

“Hey, bucket head! Over here!”

Deacon’s shot ricocheted off the back of the strider’s helmet. The strider whipped around and fired. Deacon hit the deck as three missiles cruised over his head across the room.

The strider quickly reloaded and advanced towards the helpless Railroad agent. Then suddenly, the strider’s head exploded. Sparks and synthetic blood sprayed from his empty neck, and he collapsed to the floor and died.

“Nice distraction, guys,” Blue complimented, slapping a fresh energy cell into her laser rifle.

“Yeah, uh, the whole thing was my plan all along,” Deacon quipped as I helped him to his feet.

Blue ran to meet us upstairs. Then Deacon took out the fusion pulse charge from a knapsack and held it out for Blue.

“Figure you should do the honors. Just plant it on the reactor core and head back downstairs. Then Tom will teleport us out so that we can blow this joint.”

Blue gingerly took the fusion charge from Deacon’s hands. “Thank you, Deacon, for everything. I wouldn’t have made it this far without you and the Railroad.”

Deacon blushed slightly under his sunglasses. “Awww, don’t get all sentimental on me—thought I taught my best recruit better than that.”

Blue smiled and nodded. “This won’t take long. Get the rest of the team out while Piper and I finish up here.”

Deacon walked towards the stairs, then stopped to hug me, to my surprise.

“Don’t be a stranger, Gabs.”

“Same here. Hey Deac, I didn’t get a chance to ask you earlier, but whatever happened to Nick? I thought he was coming in with you.”

“Yeah, I thought so too, but he never showed at the rendezvous point.” Deacon shrugged and headed downstairs to evacuate with the rest of the strike team.

Before I could give it much thought, Blue called me inside to the reactor core to help with the fusion charge. The door to the reactor chamber slid open, then Blue and I stepped inside the small cylindrical room. It was powered down, with a low persistent hum the only sign of activity. Blue positioned the fusion charge on its core, then guided me on where to hold it.

“Don’t worry, I used the terminal to lower the temperature in here. Just help me hold this thing while I set these clamps... Okay, got it. Let’s get out of here.”

I walked out of the reactor core room, with Blue right behind me.

Without warning, the reactor door slid shut between us, trapping Blue inside. She tried to pry the door open, then she pounded on the glass.

What the fuck? I rushed towards the terminal. I didn’t take more than two steps before getting grabbed. The assailant twisted my arm behind me and pointed a revolver at my head.

I turned to see who had nabbed me. No…

“Nick? What the hell are you doing?!”

I struggled, but Nick kept a tight vice-grip on my arm as he dragged me towards the terminal. Blue watched what was happening through the porthole in the reactor door.

“Nick! What’s going on? Open this door!” 

Nick smiled an evil grin. “Well, well, well. This looks familiar. A helpless Vault Dweller trapped inside her cage. About to watch the one she loves die a horrific death.”

His voice scraped across my ears. Low, metallic-like sandpaper.

Blue’s face fell. “Kellogg?”

“Ding! Ding! Ding! Winner, winner, frozen dinner. But no ice this time. No, this time you’re getting microwaved in that little rad oven of yours.”

Kellogg punched a few keys on the terminal. The reactor hummed louder. Then he pulled me towards the outer railing so that we could watch as Blue panicked inside the irradiated core.

“But don’t worry about sucking up extra rads. The reactor explosion will kill you faster. Thanks to me hijacking the fusion charge’s detonation frequency. You got, oh, about ten minutes before you’re fully cooked.”

He let out a chilling laugh. “Oh, and don’t try using a recall code on me. I’m a Gen-2, so that trick doesn’t work.”

“What did you do to Nick?!” I screamed, struggling in vain to free myself.

The psychopathic synth leered at me. “What did I do to Nick? Nothing—at first. I didn’t survive for over a century by being impatient. I just...watched, as this obsolete bucket of bolts carried on like he was some old detective from Chicago. But once your girlfriend helped him with that revenge business with Eddie Winter, he started letting go of his attachment to the original Nick Valentine.”

Kellogg studied Blue through the reactor porthole as she processed what he was saying. “Then I was able to sneak into his circuits. I stole a moment here, a moment there... Now, Nick’s completely checked out, while _I_ run the show.”

“What do you want?” Blue yelled.

“What do _I_ want? What I want is to do what I should have done 60 years ago. And that is to _kill_ you, for taking everything away from me. But shooting you would be too easy, and it’s more than you deserve. Oh no. I want you to die as this place burns. But not before I kill everyone you care about. Starting with the Old Man.”

Her jaw dropped. “Shaun... No!”

“Yes, Shaun. The Father! The Son! The Old Man! The Terminal One! I saw him after your ‘heart-to-heart’ talk. He was rather upset when I told him I was going to kill his own mother. Right before I ended him.”

“You _bastard_. Go to Hell!”

“You first.” Kellogg smirked.

Blue calmed herself and tried to figure out what to do. “Look, Kellogg, you made your point. You got me. You can have your revenge. Just leave Piper out of this. She’s got nothing to do with us.”

“Blue, no! Take me instead,” I implored. “Please. Just let her go.”

Kellogg yanked me back. “Shut up! Both of you! Really, it’s pathetic. Neither of you are getting out of this alive. Because last I remember, it was the two of you standing over my dead body at Fort Hagen.”

He wagged his revolver at Blue, lecturing her. “If you had only listened to me at the Fort and turned around. What happened at the Vault, it wasn’t personal. It wasn’t about you, or your son or husband. It was just business...”

“That was my family, you son-of-a-bitch!”

“...But no. You and the Old Man had to make it personal. You both made it about me, instead of about this place. The Institute. Okay. I can make personal. At least we both agree on one thing, that this place should go down in flames. But I’m making sure you, and everyone you love, go down with it. Starting with her.”

I twisted my head around to look at Nick’s face. His mechanical amber eyes were narrow slits, glaring at Blue with hatred. I couldn’t believe that this vengeful, abusive psychopath was the same Nick that I knew. The same Nick who only cared about helping others.

“Nick, why are you doing this?” I pleaded. “I’m your friend.”

“Nick’s not here!” Kellogg snapped, pressing his .44 revolver against my neck. “And he’s not your friend! He’s—he’s not even alive! Or real. And neither am I.” He grew melancholy. “I—I’m just a ghost, a phantom.”

Kellogg turned back to Blue as he dragged us closer to the reactor. “But dead or not, I’m going to get _my revenge_. I’m going to kill your girlfriend, and then I’m going to kill you and destroy the Institute. And then, I’m going after the synths, and your settlers, and then I’m going to _burn_ this whole motherfucking world down.”

Kellogg peered into the porthole, spewing his rage at the poor woman trapped inside the reactor. “Because there is _nothing_ worth saving in this world. Your son and husband are _dead_ —like my wife and daughter. Your love for them, it was all for nothing. Tell me, what was it for? What? You couldn’t save them! Love—family—it all means _nothing!”_

Kellogg pressed me against the reactor’s porthole. From inside, Blue’s brown eyes gazed back, fearful for me and for the end of everything we fought so hard for.

“It all means _nothing,_ ” Kellogg concluded. “Just like you.”

I didn’t want it to end like this. I placed my free hand on the porthole. Blue put her hand on the other side of the window, touching mine. I silently mouthed an apology. She hung her head, devastated.

My heart sunk. We were trapped. Doomed.

There was nothing more to say.

Then Blue broke the silence.

“You’re right,” Blue quietly acknowledged. “I couldn’t save my family. And neither could you.”

She looked into Kellogg’s eyes. “But the choices we make afterward, that’s in our control. I saw your life. You chose to go it alone, and destroy everybody who got in your way. I don’t pretend to be a saint, but in time, I found a new beginning. A new family. That family includes you, Nick.”

Kellogg pulled us away from the door. “I told you—I’m not Nick!”

“You may not be the original Nick Valentine, but you _are_ real. You’re programmed to retain other people’s memories, to take on their personalities. Their memories become your own. But what you choose to do with them—fighting for justice, doing what’s right—your actions belong to you. You said that yourself. ‘All the good we’ve done. That’s ours and ours alone.’”

He staggered backwards. “Don’t lecture me, frozen dinner. You know nothing about me!”

Blue pressed her hands against the door, resolute. “You’re wrong. I _know_ you. The friends we’ve made, they’re our family. Piper is my family. And you—you are my family… Everything we do no matter how hard, we do it for our family.”

I felt his grip loosen slightly. “What did you say?”

“Everything we do no matter how hard, we do it for our family. You are Nick. And Kellogg. And… _Nate_.”

“W-What?” He released the revolver from my neck.

Blue’s voice soared loud and clear. “I don’t know how, but I know you’re in there, Nate. And you’re better than the asshole who murdered you. Now— _fight_.”

He dropped the revolver and let me go, and I was free. I ran over to the terminal and punched in the command to open the reactor door. Blue ran out and we hugged each other.

We turned to our former assailant. The trenchcoated synth, full of hate and loathing just moments before, had transformed to a man without malice. His posture had changed, softened, and he was wholly different. No longer Kellogg, but not Nick either. His leathered synthetic face regarded us with concern.

“Nora. I’m so sorry.”

His voice was different too, smoother. The sandpaper was gone, but so was the familiar gravel of Nick’s voice.

“Nate?” Blue took tentative steps towards him. “It’s you, isn’t it?”

“No, stay back!” He threw a hand up as a warning. “I couldn’t stop him… I couldn’t stop him in the Vault.” His voice cracked and he covered his eyes. “Shaun... I couldn’t save our son. And now he’s—he’s gone. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s not your fault, Nate. None of this is. What matters is what we do right now.”

Nate backed away, edging closer to the railing. “Stay away! He’s fighting me. I—I can’t hold him off.” His eyes darted nervously between us. “There’s not much time, Nora. The reactor’s going to blow. You and Piper should go now, while you still can.”

“No! Come with us, Nate,” Blue pleaded. “Please, we’ll figure this out. We’ll find a way to get him out of your head.”

Nate shook his head vigorously. “You _can’t._ He’s a part of Nick—part of me.” He backed away further until his back was against the railing, his amber eyes full of sorrow and regret.

“I love you, Nora. Just go. Go on. Live. Live your life.”

“I love you too, Nate. Please. Come with me.”

“So much hate...” Suddenly, he grabbed his head and screamed, fighting the enemy within.

“AAAAAAAAGH! GO! NOW!”

Nate frantically waved us away. Then he stepped back and tumbled backwards over the railing.

“NATE!” Blue sprinted to the railing, grasping at thin air, but it was too late.

“NICK! NOOOOO!!!”

I raced downstairs. Nick had crashed onto the concrete floor. He laid crumpled, lifeless, not moving. His neck and arm were fractured at odd angles, and sparks flew from his broken body. His eyes were open, but their amber glow was gone.

I knelt beside my fallen friend. I picked up his fedora, which had dropped nearby, and placed it on his chest. Why Nick...?

Blue put her hand on my shoulder. “Piper, the reactor. We have to go.”

I reluctantly pulled myself away, stealing one last look at my friend. Then we hurried out of the reactor room.

...

As we sprinted through the radiation decontamination zone, we dematerialized mid-stride in a blinding flash of blue light.

We rematerialized on the rooftop of a tall building, overlooking downtown Boston. The site of the old CIT campus languished in the distance. A cool breeze blew through the twilight air.

This was the detonation site that Tinker Tom and Sturges had chosen, a safe distance away from the blast radius. Nearby, Minutemen, Railroad agents, and synth rebels milled about anxiously. Blue spotted Desdemona and Preston and ran up to them.

“Did everyone get out?” Blue asked.

“Yes, General. All surviving strike teams are accounted for. We also evacuated the freed synths and the civilians from the Institute.”

“What about Tom and Sturges?”

“They’re safe,” Desdemona answered. “They just radioed—they teleported themselves home as soon as they sent you here.”

Preston motioned to the large detonation button on the balcony. “We’re waiting for you to do the honors.”

Blue shook her head. “Everyone, we don’t have much time. The reactor’s going to blow itself up at any second.”

“What?! How?” Desdemona asked.

“Kellogg laid a trap. He sabotaged the detonation freq—”

Before Blue could finish, there was a white flash.

...

.

.

.

.

.

.

I can feel it all wash over me.

The heat. The force. The radiation...the fear.

It’s the end of the world—all over again.

I close my eyes.

I see a life before all of this. A life that could have been.

A life—with no bombs.

...

Boston, 2107.

I’m standing outside the plaza of the Commonwealth Institute of Technology. It’s a bright sunny day. The air is clean. The trees are alive and green. Radiation is non-existent.

A crowd has gathered. A CIT scientist has won a Nobel Prize for creating a fully sustainable source of renewable energy. True energy independence, without the need for unstable nuclear technology. The resource shortages of the past, and the wars they started, are no more. People all around the world are at peace, no longer living in fear of nuclear war.

This isn’t real, I know. There’s no way I could be here.

But it doesn’t hurt to stay here a while. To cheat time.

I make my way through the crowd, hoping to get a quote for the _Boston Bugle_. I catch the tail end of the scientist’s speech.

“...Thank you for this great honor. You’ve helped a boy achieve his dreams.”

The crowd cheers. He steps down from the podium and greets his mother, who hugs him.

It’s Blue. She’s older, in her 60s, almost the same age as the Father was. We’ve never met, but I recognize her right away, even through the filter of age.

She kisses him on the cheek.

“I love you, Shaun. Your father would have been so proud of you.”

Shaun thanks his mother, then he hugs her back and leaves.

She watches him go. Then she turns and looks at me.

She sees me and smiles. I smile back. I’m happy for her.

This is the way things could have been. If people had only imagined better.

But—this isn’t real. The world ended over 200 years ago.

This was not the world I wanted. But it was the one I found myself in. The Commonwealth—my home—was ripped apart, and put back together.

I know I can’t go back. I can only go forward.

...

I opened my eyes. In an instant, everything had changed.

The world was in darkness, save for the fiery embers of the mushroom cloud that billowed over the ruins of the CIT Campus. The cloud bloomed higher and higher before collapsing on itself, radiating fallout in its wake. Debris from the shockwave spread across the city ruins for miles.

The Institute, the Boogeyman of the Commonwealth, was no more. Its reign of terror over the Commonwealth was over.

Cheers erupted from the soldiers and agents gathered around us. Friends and allies hugged each other in relief and elation. Z1 and the other rebel synths looked at each other in disbelief.

They had done it. They had secured their freedom.

“And so, the mighty have fallen.” Desdemona gazed at the newly-formed crater, dumbstruck.

“So that’s it. The Institute is destroyed.” Preston was equally astonished. “It’s finally over.”

“Dozens of years. Countless sacrifices.” Desdemona took a deep breath and exhaled. “It is done. My whole life, I've been holding my breath. Now. Now, I can breathe.”

I took in the scenes of celebration. It didn’t sink in yet that the Institute was really gone. I tried to feel joy, tried to revel in this moment that I had dreamed about for so long. A chance to live free, with no more kidnappings. No more sleepless nights, terrified that your neighbor’s plotting against you. No more fear.

I tried to be happy about our victory. But all I could think about was Nick.

I looked around for Blue. She had stepped away from the crowd, in no mood to celebrate. She leaned against the railing of the balcony and gazed at the fresh destruction wrought by the detonation. After a few minutes, the fires died down and the dust began to settle.

I quietly joined her, and we stared at the ruins together.

“I—I can’t believe it,” I said. “They’re gone. The Institute’s gone.”

Her hands were shaking. I worried that exposure to the reactor had affected her. Or maybe when she saw the bomb go off...something else was going on.

“Are you okay, Blue?”

She gripped her hands. “I’ll be fine. Nothing a few doses of RadAway can’t fix.”

“No, I mean, are _you_ okay?”

Blue looked over the balcony, forlorn. We were perched at a dizzying height, easily one of the tallest buildings in the Commonwealth. I glimpsed the sides of the building and realized we were atop the Mass Fusion building, where the Institute’s push for more power, and its ultimate downfall, had begun.

She closed her eyes. “I’ve lost Shaun—all over again. And N—”

Her mood suddenly shifted, and she regarded me with concern. “Oh, Piper. I’m so sorry about Nick. What happened in the reactor...”

“Nick... Everything happened so fast,” I began. “I’m not even sure I understand what happened. But losing Nick like that...it’s a tough pill to swallow.”

Blue put her arm around me. I leaned against her shoulder, fighting back tears.

“He was a good friend,” she said. “A good man. One of the best.”

I choked up. I wanted to tell Blue that I was sorry we couldn’t save Shaun, even though he couldn’t be saved. That I was sorry that she had to lose Nate again, twice. That it wasn’t fair that she had to lose her family over and over again.

But I couldn’t get out the words. I was crying, too heartbroken over losing Nick. Human or not, he was one of the best friends I ever had. He didn’t deserve to die in that horrible place, where he was treated like a lab rat and tossed aside. He didn’t deserve to die because he chose to risk his life to help us find Kellogg, only to have that sadistic bastard take control of him. He didn’t deserve to lose himself for us. He deserved better.

Blue comforted me while I had a good cry. After a while, she became reflective.

“A lot’s happened. I know a lot of people sacrificed themselves to get us here,” she said.

“They did...” I managed, wiping my tears.

“But with everything that’s happened, I just want you to know—I’m glad you made it.”

Blue looked at me with gratitude. And I was grateful too. Grateful to have survived. Grateful to be alive. Grateful that we were finally free.

“I’m glad you made it too,” I replied. “I’m glad we both made it. This new world would be pretty lonely without you.”

She kissed and hugged me, then we stood together silently, mourning our losses together.

Before long, Preston and Desdemona found us and pulled Blue back to business.

Preston saluted. “General, reports are coming in from all over. Our settlements are taking in survivors from the Institute. Mostly scientists and families. They’re coming in peacefully. We’re holding them until we can figure out what to do with them.”

“Thanks, Preston,” Blue said. “Remind everyone that the Institute civilians are to be treated as refugees, not prisoners. What about the synths?”

“Z1 had some of the rebel synths teleported to Railroad safehouses,” Desdemona answered. “But many others are scattered. The evacuation was chaotic. It’ll take weeks, if not months, to find all the survivors.”

A Railroad agent approached Blue. “Tom just radioed from Mercer. Said one of the refugees requested to see you.”

“Who?”

“He wouldn’t say. But the refugee insisted on speaking only with you. We’re sending the vertibird now to bring you straight to the safe house.”

...

We landed just outside Mercer Safehouse. Inside, there was a bustle of activity all around. The newly-freed synths, former manual laborers still in their Institute jumpsuits, milled about everywhere. Railroad agents were stretched thin trying to accommodate their needs.

As soon as they spotted us, the synths cheered. Their revelry caught us off guard, and I was momentarily jarred by the sight of Institute synths cheering the destruction of their former home. Blue, Desdemona, Preston, and Z1 waved to the crowd. Then Z1 gathered his fellow rebels together to celebrate their newfound freedom.

As she pushed through the crowds, Blue spotted Tinker Tom working nearby and approached him.

“Wanderer!” Tom exclaimed. “Glad you made it.”

“Me too. Looks like we got our hands full,” Blue said.

“That’s an understatement. But first, you got a little visitor.”

A young boy in a white jumpsuit timidly stepped out from behind Tinker Tom.

“Mom?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year! Hope you all had a safe and happy celebration. 
> 
> Now, perhaps some of you may be upset by the turn of events in this chapter. All I can say is that the story is not yet done! (It’s sooo close to being done, I so badly want it to be done, believe me...) There’s one more chapter, and then the epilogue (which will wrap up a few loose ends). And then the text will be complete. No ETA, but I promise to post the next chapter as soon as it’s finished. Thank you again for reading <3


	41. The Great Experiment

“Mom! I was so worried! I thought I’d never see you again!”

A little boy in a white Institute jumpsuit crashed excitedly into Blue. He wrapped his arms tightly around her waist, overjoyed by the reunion with his long-lost parent.

Blue on the other hand was decidedly confused. She awkwardly patted her ersatz son on the head while glancing nervously at us for ideas about what to do. Tinker Tom and I looked to each other for answers. Finding none, we simply shrugged.

Young Shaun looked every bit like the little boy on the TV screen when we were sifting through Kellogg’s memories in Dr. Amari’s lab. About ten years old, his appearance a blend of Nate and Nora’s features, created by the Father as a version of himself as a child. The last time Blue saw him, he had rejected her, frightened that she was going to take him away from the Institute.

So, what was he doing here?

Blue gently pried the little boy from her waist. “Mom?” she asked. “Why did you call me ‘Mom?’”

The little boy glanced up at Blue. “What? You’re my mother! Why else would I call you that?” Then he hugged her tighter than before.

Blue rubbed her chin, puzzled. “If I’m your mother, then who’s your father?”

“My father? I think his name was...Nathaniel? Or Nate for short. At least that’s what Father said. By Father, I mean the one who created me. Not my father, Nate.” Young Shaun blinked, then he beamed, completely oblivious to how insane the whole thing sounded.

“Uh, Tom? Can I talk to you for a second?”

Blue asked Shaun to wait over there, then she pulled Tinker Tom aside to chat.

“Tom, what’s going on? How did he get here?”

“Um, things got pretty wild during the evacuation. Just when we thought we got everybody out, this...kid showed up. Said he was your son. But you were still busy dealing with the reactor. I thought better to get him somewhere safe first, then sort it out later.”

Blue shifted uncomfortably. “He’s not my son. He’s a synth.”

Tinker Tom was taken aback. “Oh wow. Did not see that coming. If you don’t want to take him, I can find him a place. Although putting up a synth for adoption might be tricky…”

“Wait, I didn’t say I wouldn’t take him. It’s just…” Blue rubbed her head, feeling dizzy. “This is a lot to process all at once. The first time we met, he pushed me away. And now he thinks I’m his mom?! He’s not Shaun!” The grief of losing her elderly son had suddenly hit her. Blue caught herself shouting and stopped.

“It’s okay, Blue,” I offered. “Take your time.”

She wiped her eyes, still visibly upset. “He’s— _not_ —Shaun. He’s a...a robot, made to think he’s real.”

“Hold on,” Tom objected. “Synths are a lot of things, but they’re not robots.”

“The point is, my son...my real son—Shaun—he’s dead. _He’s dead._ That boy—he’s not my son.”

“What do you mean I’m not your son?”

Blue whirled around just in time to see young Shaun’s crestfallen face.

She quickly composed herself. “Oh, Shaun. I—I’m sorry. That’s not what I meant.”

“But you _are_ my mother! Why would you say that?” His brow twisted into a knot as if he was about to cry. “Don’t—don’t you love me anymore?”

Blue kneeled down and stared into his sad brown eyes. So much like her own, and yet not. Created by her son who was no longer alive, in a place that no longer existed, and brought into a world where nobody wanted him. No matter whose son he was or wasn’t, he was lost just the same.

Blue hugged him gently. “Of course I still love you, Shaun. I always will.”

“Then take me with you, Mom!” Shaun pleaded. “I promise I won’t get in your way, and I can take care of myself. You won’t have to do anything! I can take care of myself! Just don’t leave me! Don’t leave me alone. Please.”

She brushed his face. “No one’s going to leave you, Shaun. I just need time to figure things out first. Can you wait here for me?”

“Promise you’ll come back?”

“I promise, Shaun. You have my word.” Blue gave young Shaun another hug before he was taken someplace to rest.

Soon after, Drummer Boy ran up to us. “Wanderer! Come quickly. There’s a courser at the gate.”

We ran outside to the front gate, where a line of Railroad heavies trained their guns at a lone courser. In his arms, the courser carried a body draped in a trench coat. I couldn’t believe my eyes.

“Nick... It’s Nick!”

The courser gently set Nick’s body down on the ground, then placed Nick’s fedora on his chest. Then he raised his hands up.

“Director. I surrender.”

...

The Railroad heavies brought Nick’s body into the makeshift infirmary and placed him on an empty cot in the corner. The infirmary was overcrowded with rebel synths, many of them injured during the firefight at the Institute.

We waved to catch Doc Carrington’s attention, but he had his hands full as he frantically scurried around the infirmary tending to the wounded. He stopped when he finally noticed us.

“Oh good, you’re here. Let me have a look at you…” Carrington took out a flashlight and shined it inside Blue’s mouth, then mine. “Hmm… Just as I suspected, you were around that reactor too long. Here, take these.”

Carrington hastily tossed us a handful of RadAway. “Come see me later for a follow-up. I’d treat you myself, but as you can see, I’ve been busy triaging your handiwork.”

“Doc, wait! We just brought in Nick Valentine.”

“Oh? Let me see.”

We led Carrington to the far corner of the infirmary. Nick’s crumpled body laid half-covered under a sheet, his fedora placed on a nearby chair.

Carrington examined Nick, then offered his prognosis. “Nick’s...deactivated. Fortunately, he’s more mechanical in nature. Fractured neck, broken shoulder actuator, nothing that a few simple welds can’t fix. But once he’s repaired, we can reactivate him and it’ll be as if nothing happened.”

“I’m not so sure about that, Doc,” Blue cautioned. “I’m more worried about his head. He wasn’t...himself when we last saw him. In fact, he might be dangerous if he’s reactivated.”

“Oh? And why’s that?”

“It’s a long story.”

“Then tell me later when I have time. I must tend to the more critically wounded first. In any event, I’ll need Doctor Amari’s help to repair any neurological damage. Nick will have to wait until we can bring him to the Memory Den.”

...

Although we couldn’t help Nick right away, Blue was determined to find answers. We marched to the brig where a small army of Railroad heavies guarded the only occupied cell.

Drummer Boy approached us. “Good to see you. Never thought I’d come face to face with a courser and live to tell the tale. Fortunately, he surrendered immediately, or else none of us would be here.”

Blue stared inside the cell. The courser stood ramrod straight with his hands behind his back. His padded black leather long coat was coated in dust, a testimony to his miles-long hike to the safe house while carrying Nick’s body. He silently scanned his surroundings through his wraparound sunglasses. When he saw Blue, he gave a subtle head nod.

“We searched him for weapons, he’s clean,” Drummer Boy added. “But he’s still capable of killing all of us unarmed. Do you recognize him?”

“We...worked together,” Blue answered.

“I’ll leave you two to talk then. The guards will be standing by.”

As Drummer Boy left, Blue approached the cell and gripped the iron bars. The courser stood still, maintaining his calm demeanor.

“Hello, Director.”

“X6-88. The last time I saw you, you attacked me and Piper.”

“A...regretful course of action. Please understand that I was under direct orders from Father to detain you.”

Blue gave X6-88 a stern look. “Do you intend to attack us again?”

“No.”

“And what about the Railroad or the Minutemen? Do you intend to attack them?”

“No.”

“Good. Because I need answers.”

“I will answer truthfully to the best of my knowledge.”

Blue cleared her throat. “Tell me how you and Nick came to be here.”

“34 minutes and 28 seconds prior to the Institute’s reactor explosion, Father summoned me to his room,” X6-88 replied methodically. “Father said Mr. Valentine came to his room speaking as the late Conrad Kellogg and threatened his life. Then he ordered me to escort S9-23 to the evacuation zone and protect you from Mr. Valentine.”

“S9-23, you mean young Shaun... But how was it possible for Father to talk to you? Kellogg—Nick said that he killed Shaun—I mean Father.”

“That is not factually correct. Kellogg may have believed he killed Father, but he did not. Mr. Valentine stopped before discharging his weapon. Something—or someone—stopped him.”

“Someone? Who?”

“Father posited that Kellogg’s personality matrix was not stable. When Father raised his hands in self-defense, Mr. Valentine aborted his attack and left the room. Father believed that by holding this object, he had inadvertently activated another personality.”

X6-88 took out a chain necklace from his pocket, then he approached the cell bars and gently spooled the necklace into Blue’s hands.

“Nate’s dog tags,” Blue replied. “He is—was my husband. Shaun’s father.”

“I see. Father asked me to deliver this to you. He hoped that by using it against Kellogg, you would also be saved. Although it seems that you found another way. By the time I arrived at the reactor, you and Ms. Wright had already escaped and Mr. Valentine had been subdued. Not wanting to leave a fellow synth behind, I teleported myself and Mr. Valentine to safety. Then I tracked you here to Mercer Safehouse.”

“That was quite a risk you took, X6, walking towards enemy territory. You could have been terminated.”

“A calculated risk, Director. It was necessary for me to find you and deliver this information.”

“Director... Why do you keep calling me Director?”

X6-88 raised an eyebrow. “That is who you are—Director of the Institute. Father named you as his successor. Father finalized the order shortly before he...expired. Time of death zero hundred hours and 44 minutes.” X6-88 paused, shifting his stance. “My condolences. He did not suffer.”

Blue was shaken. “At least he passed before the reactor... But what do you mean he named me Director?”

“It was always Father’s wish to make you Director. He did not believe the Directorate had the necessary vision to lead the Institute. The Institute was his life, and now his legacy is in your hands.”

“But I just destroyed the Institute—there’s no Institute left!”

“Indeed. As Director, you chose to destroy the Institute. But in the end, Father hoped that the Institute could be more than a place. It could be an idea—a vision for humanity. He believed you could convince the survivors to join you and continue their work.”

Blue eyed X6-88 skeptically. “Mmm, not likely. Besides, I’d never permit their unethical practices.”

“On the contrary. Many of the Institute’s scientists and civilians have already taken refuge at many of your Minutemen settlements. This suggests that they are amenable to your leadership.”

Blue scratched her head. “I don’t understand. When Father and I last spoke, he made it perfectly clear that me destroying the Institute went against his wishes.”  
  
X6-88 paused and considered Blue’s statement. “I cannot speculate as to his motives. Quite frankly, both you and Father have made decisions that I fail to understand. However, his decision is final. I recognize you as the current Director, and I am obliged to protect you and follow your orders.”

Blue blinked in surprise. “So, are you saying you’re loyal to me?”

“It is not a matter of loyalty. I am compelled to follow your orders. Do I like wading through the filth that is the Commonwealth and all of its vermin? Of course not. But if that is what my Director needs me to do, then I will do it.”

“Jeez, X6, tell me how you really feel,” Blue scoffed, her sarcasm flying over the courser’s head. “What about the other Directors? They didn’t exactly like the idea of me being Director the first time around.”

“As part of Father’s transfer of leadership, he removed the former Directorate from power.” X6-88 made a mental calculation. “My analysis suggests that you will be targeted by the former Directorate in retaliation for the destruction of the Institute. Therefore, the next logical course of action is to locate the Directorate for immediate elimination.”

“Whoa!” Blue backed away from the cell. “There will be no eliminations. Not if I can help it.”

The courser shook his head. “A...strategic error. But you are the Director.”

“Sigh, we’ll deal with the stragglers as best we can.” Blue crossed her arms and studied X6-88. “Now, what about you?”

X6-88 tilted his head, puzzled. “I do not understand the question.”

“What will _you_ do? Now that the Institute no longer exists—physically, anyway.”

X6-88 was taken aback. “I have never considered this scenario. The likelihood of the Institute’s destruction was too statistically insignificant for it to be plausible. Clearly, I underestimated you.” He meditated further on the question. “My primary function was to recapture escaped synths for the Institute. Now that this function is no longer relevant, I suppose what I do depends on what you ask of me.”

“Hmm, maybe in time you’ll discover another purpose. But I need to make sure we’re on the same page. If I order you to protect the Commonwealth’s civilians and your former enemies—the Railroad and the Minutemen—will you do so?”

“Yes,” X6-88 replied without hesitation.

“And if I ask you for help, you’ll help me?”

“Yes. We have always worked together this way, have we not?”

Blue motioned to the guards to unlock his cell. “Then I have a job for you. You’re free to go.”

...

A week later, things calmed down enough for us to bring Nick to the Memory Den. By then, we had debriefed the Railroad and Minutemen leadership about the final moments before the reactor blew. The implications were unsettling. If Nick’s personality had been taken over by the late Conrad Kellogg, then he would be a constant threat to the Commonwealth.

As much as it went against their core values, the Railroad broached the subject of permanently dismantling Nick. The ever-present danger that Kellogg would pose was just too great. But Blue wouldn’t have it. Not until she learned how both Kellogg’s and Nate’s personalities got inside Nick’s head.

I couldn’t stomach the thought of losing Nick forever. But I did my best to shake away those thoughts. Doctor Amari was in her lab with Doctor Carrington, and they were doing their best to save Nick.

After an agonizingly long wait, the doctors called us downstairs. Nick was awake.

...

“The Institute?! Why would I have gone to the Institute?”

Nick abruptly sat up from the operating table where he had lain as we delicately broke the news about what happened. His head was still connected to various computers as Doctors Amari and Carrington finished their diagnostic tests.

“You were supposed to help us destroy it,” Blue replied. “Do you remember meeting at the Castle before the mission? We talked about my family, but you seemed...like a different person.”

Nick stared blankly at Blue. “No, I’m afraid not. Granted, I’m old and forget things, but this is strange, even for me.”

“And before that,” I chimed in, “At the bar in Goodneighbor, you were different! You had two drinks…not your usuals.”

Nick rubbed the back of his neck. “I don’t remember any of that. But over the past few weeks, I’d find myself in random locations with no idea how I got there. One day, I’m lurking in a back alley at Goodneighbor. Another day, I’m wandering around the old Veteran’s Hall. Another day, I’m staring fondly at some giant oak tree in the park.”

“Which park, the Esplanade? Near the river? That’s where Nate and I made Sh—” Blue abruptly stopped herself and blushed beet red. “Um, it has a very personal connection to me.”

“Huh, good for you,” Nick patronized. “But what does all this have to do with me being at the Institute?”

Blue hesitated. “The last time we saw you, you…attacked us at the Institute.”

“You, uh, took me hostage,” I elaborated. “You threatened to kill me while Blue was trapped inside the reactor.”

“I—I did?” Nick fell silent, stunned. “No, that can’t be. That can’t be true...”

“It wasn’t you,” Blue clarified. “Not exactly. You were a different person. Kellogg.”

Nick’s jaw dropped. “Kellogg? As in Conrad Kellogg?! How is that possible?”

Doctor Carrington jumped in. “Perhaps we can explain, Nick. For several months, you’ve been living with three distinct personalities. It’s not quite analogous to dissociative personality disorder, but that’s the closest human equivalent.”

“If you recall,” Doctor Amari continued, “When we probed Kellogg’s brain tissue for the Institute’s location, your mind was linked to Kellogg’s. After the procedure, I assumed that Nick’s mimicry of Kellogg were mnemonic impressions.” Amari shook her head. “I was wrong. I’m sorry.”

“We were both wrong,” Carrington said. “We ran every test, examined you for months. But Kellogg’s personality infiltrated your subroutines, escaping detection whenever we examined you.”

Amari turned to Blue. “You must understand how unique Nick is among synths. His mind is attuned to absorb and construct complex human personalities with limited data. No Gen-3 synth today would be able to handle multiple personality matrices the way Nick did. Over time, Kellogg’s personality grew stronger until he became the person you encountered at the Institute. And Nick’s base personality was not enough to stop him.”

“For the love of Atom…” Nick covered his face, heartbroken and distraught by the revelations. “I’m so sorry, Kid. And Piper, I…I don’t think I can forgive myself for hurting you.”

“It’s not your fault, Nick,” I said. “You were trying to help us find the Institute.”

“But it almost cost you everything!” Nick exclaimed. Then his graveled voice dropped low with shame. “I—I don’t know what to say. I’d understand if you don’t trust me ever again. Because I couldn’t stop him. I couldn’t stop Kellogg.”

“But you did stop him,” Blue countered. “Your mind constructed another personality. Somehow, you became Nate, my husband. You—he stopped Kellogg at the Institute.”

“Wait a minute,” Nick interrupted, confused. “Your husband was dead in Vault 111 before I even started this investigation. How in the world did his mind get inside mine?”

“During our probe of Kellogg’s brain, you were also linked to the General’s mind,” Amari said. “Your mind was able to absorb her lived experiences with her late husband.”

“But how?” Blue asked. “Back then, you said there was no way my memories would cross over into Nick’s mind.”

“Normally, they don’t,” Amari conceded. “But extreme trauma can heighten the connection between minds. I believe that when you relived your husband’s murder in Vault 111, your memories of Nate flooded the connection. Every moment you shared together, every emotion—Nick’s mind absorbed those thoughts. Over time, Nick’s brain processed those memories, integrating them into his consciousness. He grew to understand Nate through your memories.”

Blue paced the lab as she processed Amari’s theory. “This is…really strange. Shaun—Father created a synthetic version of Nate. He looked like him, even talked like him. But he was nothing like him.”  
  
“That doesn’t surprise me,” Amari said. “The Institute could easily replicate his physical body and create a facsimile of his voice and mannerisms from surviving military records. But without a live brain scan, they would never be able to recreate his personality.”

“Wait, so when Nick took on Nate’s personality... That was all based on _my_ memories of Nate? The Nate that I met at the Castle and at the reactor—he wasn’t…real?”

“No. He _was_ real,” Nick affirmed. “As real as any memory we keep of the ones we love. The way Jennifer Lands is real to me, even though we’ve never met.” He regarded Blue with the compassion of someone who understood loss deeply. She nodded appreciatively.

“So, what now?” I asked. “Does Nick have three people living inside his head?”

“Not anymore,” Amari answered. “Kellogg’s personality matrix had begun to corrupt Nick’s memory banks. Nate’s personality matrix was able to slow the damage, but only temporarily.”

“We managed to isolate the corrupted banks and remove them before they could cause further damage,” Carrington finished. “There will be some short-term memory loss, but nothing permanent.”

“So, Nick’s himself again?” Blue asked. “And Nate and Kellogg... They’re gone.”

Amari nodded. “Yes. We had to remove them both, for Nick’s sake. The corruption caused by the anomalous personalities would have triggered a cascade failure and completely destabilized Nick’s base personality.”

For a brief moment, a glimmer of disappointment flashed across Blue’s face. But it quickly faded as she hid it behind a thin smile.

Blue patted Nick on the shoulder. “Well, I’m glad that you’re _you_ again, Nick.”

“Me too, Kid.” Amari and Carrington disconnected Nick from their machines and helped him stand. Then he slipped on his trenchcoat and fedora, once again becoming the detective we knew and loved.

“Welcome back, Nick,” I greeted while giving him a bear hug. “How do you feel?”

Nick thought for a moment. “I don’t know yet. It’s hard to even wrap your head around—a world without the Institute, lurking in the shadows. My mental health notwithstanding, there were a lot of questions I was hoping the Institute could answer.”

“About how or why you were created in the first place?” Blue broached. “I’m sorry. It had to be done.”

“Don’t be. You’ll get no argument from me. It took a lot of guts to do what you did. I know it couldn’t have been easy.”

“Look, Nick, the answers may still be out there,” Blue said. “Sturges and Tom pulled a lot of data from the Institute before it blew. It’ll take time to sift through it all, but I’m sure we can find someth—”

Nick stopped Blue. “It’s alright, Kid. I’ve already made it this far without them. I think I’ll manage.” He breathed a sigh of relief. “And the people of the Commonwealth slept soundly, for the greatest monster was gone. This is a brave new world you’ve ushered in. But I suppose it’ll do.”

...

_A few days later..._

Blue and I waited for Shaun to arrive at her house in Sanctuary. Sturges was giving Shaun the grand tour of the settlement that Blue and the Minutemen had built, now a beacon of stability and prosperity. X6-88 accompanied them to study the settlement’s security measures and recommend further improvements.

Blue sat next to me on the couch. Her Pip Boy pinged with a message. “That was X6-88,” Blue said. “He reports, ‘Perimeter secure.’”

“Sounds like X6-88 is taking his new assignment as Shaun’s bodyguard to heart,” I remarked.

“That, he is. X6 doesn’t seem to mind guarding one of his own while figuring out what he wants to do in a post-Institute world.” Her tone suddenly shifted. “Am I doing the right thing with Shaun?”

“Sure,” I shrugged. “What kid wouldn’t want his own courser?”

“No, not that. I mean, is it right for me to bring Shaun here? Am I just playing house with him, pretending that things can go back to the way they were, before the War?”

I thought about her question. “I don’t think so, Blue. I know you. You’re not the type to delude yourself by treating him as your ‘replacement’ son. You’re doing this for the right reasons.”

“That’s the thing, I’m not sure if I am.” She turned to me, propping her elbow on the back of the couch. “I listened to the holotape that the elder Shaun gave him. It was contradictory and frustratingly vague, much like him. It’s hard to believe that he left young Shaun to me as an olive branch. Because I know what he thought of synths. To him, they were tools, not people.”

She stood and walked to the window. Outside, Shaun was talking excitedly with Sturges about a piece of recycled tech. “Yet when I look at him... I can’t describe it. It’s like he’s a piece of my heart walking around on the outside. Then another part of me whispers back, ‘Is this feeling real? Or is this an illusion?’ What if this is another form of control by the Father? An experiment he’s running from beyond the grave?”

I stood and gazed out the window. Blue had legitimate reasons to suspect the Father’s intentions. Even though their headquarters was gone, their main puppet master no longer pulling the strings, fear of the Institute still loomed large over people’s psyches.

Yet the fact remained. A boy was playing outside. A boy who needed guidance on how to navigate this crazy world.

“Maybe this is an experiment,” I replied at last. “We don’t know enough to be sure. But tell me, Blue, what do you believe? Does young Shaun deserve a home because he happens to resemble your biological son? Because the Father told you to? Or does he deserve a home because, regardless of the circumstances in which he was created, he’s a living, breathing person in his own right? Because his personhood—his inherent worth as a person—is self-evident?”

She leaned against the window, considering this. “You make a convincing argument, Piper.”

“That’s because you made that same argument when you joined the Railroad.”

Blue nodded. Through the window, Shaun waved. He shouted happily, asking for a few minutes more, then promised he would come over. Blue nodded and waved back.

As Blue motioned towards the front door, I stopped her. “Blue, wait. I’ve been meaning to give this back to you.” I took an old holotape out of my pocket and handed it to her.

Blue turned the tape over in her hands, studying the familiar handwriting on the label. “How did you get this?”

“I, uh, took it a while ago, when you were out searching for Kellogg. I don’t know why I took it—I think I just missed you. Then I, um, lost it in my desk for a few months. And then I found it again! But then it was never the right time to give it back, and then…” I tossed my hands. “Sigh, I’m sorry. I hope you’re not mad.”

Blue chuckled. “I’m not mad. Did you listen to it?”

“Yeah, sorta? You know me, Lil’ Miss Nosy Reporter. Sorry. I shouldn’t have invaded your privacy.”

“It’s okay.” She rubbed the edge of the holotape with her thumb. “You know, this might be the only recording of his voice left. I thought I’d gotten to a good place about accepting that he’s gone. But the strange events at the Institute sort of ripped that wound open.”

“I can’t even imagine. I’d probably go crazy if I had to relive my father’s death over and over again.” I hesitated, wondering whether to continue on the subject. “I—I’m sorry that Nate’s personality didn’t survive. Even though I’m happy that Nick’s back.”

Blue put her hand on my arm reassuringly. “I’m happy that Nick’s back, too. At least Nate went down fighting. I can live with that.”

I followed Blue to the front door where she leaned against the bookshelves, reflecting. “The thing is, with Nate and Shaun, I always thought we’d have more time to be a family together. But the time for that would be later, always later. And then suddenly, that time was taken away from us.”

She held my hands. “I can’t go back. But now I have a second chance with you, and with young Shaun. Young Shaun isn’t Shaun, and I’ll never pretend that he is. But I won’t make the same mistake again. I want to make the most of the time we have together.”

There was a knock at the door.

“And that time is now,” I said.

…

I stayed back while Blue gave Shaun a tour of her old house. The kitchen and living room had been cleaned and restored as best as Codsworth could manage, but still bore indelible scars from the nuclear apocalypse. Shaun quietly surveyed his new home. Although nothing about it was familiar, he took everything in enthusiastically.

Then Blue led Shaun to his room, or rather the Father’s old room. A worn-out rocket ship rug and baby dresser were left untouched, along with the rocket ship mobile that used to hang above the old crib. A clean cot took the place of the old crib against the far wall.

“Well, this is home,” Blue said. “It’s not as fancy as the Institute. This room still has a few old things. We can change them to whatever you want.”

"It’s perfect!” Shaun exclaimed. “This was Father’s room?”

“Yep. It’s where you—I mean, where Father lived when he was a baby. I should have kept his old crib, but we gave it to a family that needed one.”

Shaun shrugged. “It’s okay. I probably wouldn’t have fit in it anyway. Is this where I’ll live?”

“Yes, at least part of the time. I figure we’ll split time between here, the Castle, and Diamond City where Auntie Piper lives.”

“That sounds fun. Piper’s really nice. And pretty, and smart. She’s just like you, Mom!”

Shaun’s assessment of me caught both of us by surprise. Blue eyed me in the hallway and silently mouthed, Did you hear that? I nodded and grinned.

Later, Blue helped Shaun put away his things and change into something comfortable for sleeping. He sat on the cot as Blue kneeled down to talk face to face.

“Shaun, I know that this is a big change for you. We still need to get to know each other. I understand if you’re scared. I’m scared too. I just want you to know that I love you, and that I’m here for you. And I promise to be honest with you about everything. Even when the truth is hard.”

“Like about why you destroyed the Institute?” Shaun asked his question matter-of-factly, catching Blue off-guard. “It’s okay, Mom. Sturges told me. He said they were dangerous, and that’s why he left them.”

Blue nodded solemnly. “Yes, they were. We can always talk about them later if you have more questions.”

“Okay.” Shaun thought of another question. “Is it true what you said before at the Railroad hideout? That I’m not your real son?”

Blue took a deep breath. “Shaun, I’m sorry about what I said before. I was angry, but not at you. I shouldn’t have said those things, and I’m going to try to be better. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“But is it true? That I’m not your real son?”

“You’re not my biological son, not exactly. But you are real. And you are my son.”

Shaun mulled over Blue’s explanation. “Father said that you’re my mom. But you’re also his mother. So I’m your son, and yet I’m not your son.”

“You _are_ my son,” Blue insisted.

“But Father was the one who made me. Hmm… Tell me, why did he make me?”

Blue thought seriously about his question. Then she took his hands and looked him in the eye.

“Father—your creator—he had a good life. A life that was more than I could have ever hoped to give him. By all accounts, he had everything. Yet when he came to the end of his life, he realized something was missing. Something that the Institute couldn’t give him. So he made you to find it.”

Shaun looked confused. “What did he want me to find?”

“That’s what you have to find out. That’s what we have to find out together.”

Shaun furrowed his brow, uncertain. “Is that what he told you?”

“Not in so many words. It’s what I believe.” Blue gently brushed his hair with her fingers.

Shaun nodded, but he still seemed uneasy. Thinking, Blue took out Nate’s holotape from her pocket and gave it to him. Then she reached behind her neck, removed her chain necklace, and draped it around Shaun’s neck.

“Shaun, I want you to have these. They belonged to your dad—your grandfather. He died trying to protect Father when he was little. I’m sure he would have loved to meet you. But even though he’s not here, no matter what, he’ll always be a part of you.”

“Wow, real dog tags!” Shaun pinched the dog tags between his fingers. He flicked them to trigger a hidden switch, revealing Nate’s headshot within the tags. Nate’s chiseled face appeared stoic, perpetually at attention. “Look, it’s Dad.” Shaun beamed proudly.

Next, Shaun turned his attention to the wedding rings. “Are these your rings? They’re pretty.” Shaun spun the rings on the chain. Then he examined the holotape. “‘Hi, Honey…’ Hmm, I don’t think I know this one. I memorized all of Dad’s Army records and family stuff that survived the War. I learned all about him from Father.”

“You did?” Blue perked up, curious about what Shaun knew. “I’d love to hear you tell me about him.”

“Sure thing, Mom. Can I listen to the holotape?”

“Of course.”

“Thanks, Mom.” He gave Blue a hug. She hugged him back, tears welling, and not wanting to let go.

...

I retreated to Blue’s bedroom to give them some privacy. I plopped into an easy chair with my pencil and paper, jotting down notes for the paper's next issue.

Some time later, Blue came into the bedroom. I stood and hugged her.

“Everything okay?” I asked.

“Yeah. He’s sleeping, or whatever synths do when they rest. I wonder, do synths dream of electric sheep?”

“What was that?”

“Uh, nothing. Old-timer reference.”

“Hmm, okay. How are you feeling?”

Blue sat on the bed, then fell backward onto it with her arms splayed out. “Exhausted. You’d think that after defeating a shadowy underground scientific organization that’s terrorized the Commonwealth for 200 years, things would be easy street. But between scaling up the Minutemen’s peacekeeping activities, hunting for remnants of the Brotherhood and the Institute, sorting out where to settle the freed synths and Institute civilians, getting to know my synth son, and figuring how to build a new government from scratch, I’m beat.”

I collapsed onto the bed next to her. “Yeah, no kidding. Nat and I are having trouble running the presses fast enough to keep up with all the latest developments.”

She rolled onto her side to face me. “That’s funny. I thought that with the Institute gone, you’d be out of a job.”

I laughed. “You’re joking, right? Someone’s going to have to document the post-Institute world, now, won’t they?”

“Yeah, but the Commonwealth should be a lot safer now. Will you still consider yourself a success with fewer people threatening your life?”

“Ha! Believe me, there are still plenty of people left who want to kill me. Not to mention the deathclaws, mutants, ferals, and ambitious mole rats.”

She tapped my chin. “Not if I can help it. They’ll have to get past me first.”

“Thanks, Blue. At least we don’t have to worry about the big one anymore.” A thought crossed my mind, then I fell silent, staring at the ceiling.

“What’s the matter, Piper?”

I shifted on the bed, trying to figure out what was bothering my gut. “I don’t know, Blue. It’s just… For the longest time, I always expected the worst from the Institute. Every time there was a kidnapping or an attack, I made it my duty to report it. And I’d think to myself, ‘There they go again.’ I know they’re gone. I keep telling myself that they’re gone.”

I leaned into her, whispering. “So, why am I still scared that they’ll come back?”

Blue extended her arm, and I scooted over and rested my head on her shoulder. She stroked my hair while she pondered my question.

Finally, she answered. “The things that gave rise to the Institute, they haven’t gone away. Those things caused the end of the world, and they still persist from the old world. They’re part of the old story, that some people are more worthy than others. That doing things the old way is the only way.”

I raised my head. “So, what do we do about it?”

“We have to be vigilant. We have to keep telling people the truth. But more importantly, we have to create a new story. A better story. A story that helps people believe in each other, that shows them a new way.”

“So, we need to imagine better.”

“Exactly.”

“Hmm… The price of liberty. Maybe this is the great experiment that Shaun intended. To see what you would do differently.”

Blue shrugged. “Who knows? Maybe it is, and not just to test my parenting skills.”

I scoffed. “C’mon, Blue. You’re more than capable.”

She raised an eyebrow. “You sure about that? Let’s face it, you have way more parenting experience than I do. Sure, I had a baby, but I don’t know anything about raising kids, let alone a synth one. How do I raise him and keep him safe in a post-apocalyptic world? Hell, what school do I send him to?”

Her voice dropped to a low murmur. “And, what about when he gets older? Doctor Amari believes his mind will develop and mature as he ages. But his body will never change. Unless we find a solution, he’ll be a child forever.” She looked at me anxiously. “What do I tell him when he asks why he can’t grow up?”

“Whoa, slow down, Blue. You gotta take things one day at a time. You’ve been good with Nat, and you have good judgment that’s gotten you this far. Trust me, you’ll be a good parent. It won’t be easy, but save the hard questions for tomorrow. For now, just…love him. The rest will come, in time.”

Blue smiled. “Wise words from experience.”

“Your wise words. You’re not alone, you know. And I’ll help you, the way you’ve helped me.”

Blue nodded. “Okay. Until tomorrow, then.”

“Until tomorrow. Good night, Blue.”

“Good night.” We kissed and settled into bed for a good night’s sleep. My eyes slowly drifted closed.

“Hey, Piper?”

“Hmm?”

“I...thank you.”

“For what?”

“For everything. For getting me here. For helping me find the Institute, find Shaun. For helping me stop the Institute.”

I grinned. “I didn’t do that. You did. Thanks to you, we don’t have to be afraid anymore.”

“They don’t have to be afraid thanks to _us_. I never could have done this by myself.”

“True, but the Institute was around for a long time before you got here.” I sighed. “Nothing changed ‘til you came along.”

Blue shook her head. “No. Everything changed when I met you.”

I stared into her clear brown eyes, an earnest twinkle radiating from them. Her smile was heartfelt and genuine.

“Nora...”

I leaned in to kiss her. We met each other with compassion, united by our principles, and shared a profound love that filled me with inner peace.

For the first time, I felt joy, complete and utter joy about the world. About the possibilities. About rebuilding the Commonwealth, and building an authentic life with Blue, Nat, and Shaun. About not only reporting the truth about the world as it was, but helping people imagine the world as it could be. For the first time, I looked forward to a world with hope.

Tomorrow was Day One of the new Commonwealth. Tomorrow, the great experiment would begin. To tell a new story about ourselves. Tomorrow, we would begin the work to imagine better. To imagine a better tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, it’s almost been a year since I first posted this fic! (Posting on the almost-anniversary day was totally not planned, by the way.) Who knew that writing a fic as an excuse to say nice things to Piper Wright would take so long...
> 
> This chapter came together after a lot of self-reflection about current events, obsessive wordsmithing, slacking off on video games, and diving into an Internet rabbit hole about where the phrase “Great [American] Experiment” came from (I can’t remember exactly, but it’s complicated). Some parts came from my early drafts from four years ago before I had even finished the game. So I’m happy to close the circle with those drafts (even though I had to rewrite a lot of it because I guessed wrong on the ending, lol).
> 
> Re: certain references, full credit goes to _Terminator 2_ , the _ST:TNG_ episode _The Offspring_ , and Philip K. Dick for his novel from which _Blade Runner_ is based. (Not to mention Bethesda for, like, 99% of everything else.)
> 
> While this chapter marks the end of the main story, I still have a few short stories for the Epilogue (coming soon, whenever it’s done). Truthfully, I debated whether or not to press on with them. But seeing as those stories will just stay stuck in my head if I don’t let them out, press on I will.
> 
> A few more words to go! Thank you for reading, and stay safe.


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